Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
HAZEL
I tried to lose myself in work, but knowing I’d slipped out on Tucker like a thief in the night made that difficult.
Even though it hadn’t been night, not really, but just before dawn.
I’d lain there wrapped in his arms, watching him sleep as if I could brand the moment in my brain so I’d have it forever.
And then my phone had softly beeped, letting me know Tex and Annie were on their way to the jobsite.
So really, it wasn’t an escape. I’d had to get to work. Period.
But through the day, as my team and I installed restored crown molding from the early 1900s, I fought a totally mysterious, definitely normal goofy smile.
Annie, crouched before her toolbox, reloading her nail gun, glanced up at me. “You ever going to tell us what that smile is about?”
“I’m not smiling.” Wait, was I? I tilted my head to catch my reflection in a window.
Cue goofy smile.
I narrowed my eyes at myself and internally ordered, Stop that!
Myself didn’t listen, and the goofy smile stayed. “I’m just happy,” I said, trying to deflect. “We’re doing great work, and we’re ahead of schedule.”
Annie looked at Tex, and they exchanged a smile.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Annie said, a little smugly. “I just won a bet with Tex, that’s all.”
Tex pulled out a twenty and slapped it into Annie’s hand.
I narrowed my eyes. “What bet?” They exchanged another look, and I went hands on hips. “Hello?”
Annie grinned. “Whether or not you’re doing the last single male Colburn.”
I choked on my own tongue.
“Sorry,” Annie said, not looking in the least bit sorry. “But everyone knows he’s seen the Legend of Star Falls with his brothers, who were knocked off the market in fairly quick succession.” Her eyes were flat-out merry. “Oh, and thanks for the easy twenty.”
I jabbed a finger at them both, but no words came out. I was speechless.
“She’ll figure out something to say eventually,” Tex murmured to Annie, amused.
Ugh. I turned my back on them and continued working while also mentally replaying every slow, delicious, sweat-slicked thing Tucker and I had done to each other the night before.
I was in so deep, it was sink or swim.
I should have woken him up when I left, instead of covering him with that blanket, brushing a barely there kiss over his jaw, and escaping.
I needed to remind us both it’d been amazing, but our onetime pass had been used, no renewals available.
But what I wished I’d done was…stay.
Dammit.
I didn’t see Tucker for the next two days. He was on shift, but let’s be honest; I wouldn’t have had the guts to seek him out anyway. Not when I knew I’d probably beg for an encore.
Then I found myself dragged to the local rec league’s touch-football game by my self-appointed unlicensed emotional-support squad with boundary issues: Kiera, Penny, and Emma.
It was the fire station team versus Colburn Restorations’ finest. But calling it a game was generous. It was more like a WWE cage match on a glorified weed patch.
Tucker, playing for the fire station against his brothers, was taking a gleeful beating. Ryder and Caleb kept tackling him like they were settling childhood vendettas. Judging by the shit-eating grins on their faces, they were having the time of their lives.
Tucker, who could outrun, outthrow, and outmuscle both of them, didn’t seem to mind letting them think they had a chance. I couldn’t decide if that made him cocky or generous, but either way, it was working for me.
Honestly, the only thing more entertaining than the game itself was watching Tucker try to keep his composure.
His usual unruffled expression had sharpened with fierce competition, and the mud streaking across his face and arms only made him look hotter.
Every time he wiped dirt away in that casual too-sexy-to-care way, I had to concentrate not to drool into my hot dog.
After the game, I found him sitting on the tailgate of his truck, sweaty and grimy like a postapocalyptic gladiator, peeling off his T-shirt, which was stubbornly clinging to every infuriating muscle.
There’d been a time not long ago when I couldn’t have felt settled or grounded to save my life. And yet somehow, this guy—bloody, muddy, and grinning like a menace—made me feel more grounded than anything ever had.
“You okay?” I asked, about two seconds from offering to get into a shower with him to help him for “medical purposes.”
He shot me that quick sideways grin, the one that said he knew exactly what I was thinking. “We won, didn’t we? I’m great.”
I eyed his bloody elbow and raw, scraped knee. “Want a Band-Aid? Or do tough guys just rub dirt in their wounds?”
He chuckled, his smile turning wicked. “Want to play doctor?”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hold back the laugh. “I think we’ve done enough damage.”
He watched me walk away like he wasn’t done with me yet. And that look? That lazy, confident grin? It stuck with me all the way home.
Fifteen minutes later, I pulled up in front of my dad’s house to check in, feed him, and see if maybe he wanted to lose at cards again.
Big mistake.
I pushed open the door and immediately slapped both hands over my eyes. “OH MY GOD!”
Dad and Sybil. Couch. Possibly fornicating.
“Why is no one wearing appropriate amounts of clothing?” I yelled.
“We were watching a movie!” Dad shouted, followed by frantic scrambling and fabric rustling.
I was trying very hard not to throw up in my mouth when my dad finally found his words.
“It’s okay now!” he yelled, even though I was only a few feet away.
I peeked through my fingers and instantly regretted it. They were flushed, rumpled, guilty…and smiling. “This is cosmic punishment for how much I hated high school algebra, isn’t it?”
My dad cleared his throat. “Sweetheart—”
“No. Nope. Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me. I just walked in on you and my tenth-grade math teacher doing…things! On the couch I sit on!”
“We weren’t doing things,” Sybil said primly.
“No? Tell that to your lipstick, which is currently married to my dad’s chin,” I shot back.
Without missing a beat, Sybil licked her thumb and wiped his chin like a woman who’d once assigned seventy-five equations over winter break and had no shame about it. “Hazel, hon, you do realize that your father and I are consenting adults.”
“Totally,” I said, backing away like the room was on fire. “I just don’t need to witness the…consenting. I’m going to bleach my brain now. Possibly call a therapist. ’K, bye.”
“We’ll, uh, be more careful next time,” Dad called after me.
Groaning at the thought of a next time, I paused at the door. Hypocrite. I was a giant hypocrite. I sighed. “Sorry, I should’ve knocked. Carry on.”
I autopiloted to Tucker’s house. He wasn’t home, and I had no idea what time he’d show up, but I let myself in with my new key.
I showered and located clean pj’s—aka stole another shirt of Tucker’s.
I thought about getting into the bed that had claimed me as its own, but my feet ached from long days of work.
You know what? I deserved some self-care.
Five minutes later, I was perched on the edge of the bathtub in the hallway bathroom with a pilfered family-size bag of chips, soaking my feet in deliciously hot water and Epsom salts, while wailing “You Need to Calm Down” at the top of my lungs.
I munched on Cheetos and doomscrolled for a bit, then sucked orange crumbs off my fingers and checked my email. I had an offer for a penis enhancement, a car-insurance bill, and…gulp, Alder & Stone Restoration in Seattle wanted to know if I’d had time to consider their offer.
The offer that came with a six-figure contract, health insurance, a city skyline view, and a fancy title.
Everything I’d once thought would prove I was worth something.
Professionally, this was everything I’d worked for.
But emotionally? It felt like running.
Why hadn’t I told anyone yet? Was I still waiting for the perfect moment? Or was I just scared to admit I didn’t know what I wanted anymore?
Her Fluffiness appeared out of nowhere and sat on the bath mat, tail curled tightly to her body, her sweet face studying mine like a furry little therapist.
“What do you think I should do?” I asked.
She yawned, licked her paw, and turned her back to me.
“Cool. Avoidance and denial it is.”
She flicked her tail, annoyed.
“Fine.” I ran a hand down her soft fur. “I know avoidance and denial isn’t the right path, but it’s just that I’m so good at it.”
Another flick of her tail.
“And it’s not that I don’t want it,” I said. “The big, new, fancy job. I just don’t know if I still want it the same way.”
Her purr kicked in, steady and strong, like she could feel the tightness in my chest and wanted to keep me grounded. Like she was saying, I’m here, but I got nothing.
“Yeah,” I murmured. “Me neither.”
It actually wasn’t the job I was afraid of. It was staying. Choosing something—someone—and possibly having it all fall apart again.
I heard the front door open and froze.
“Hazel?”
Even if I hadn’t recognized Tucker’s low voice, my nipples absolutely did. Why hadn’t I shut the bathroom door and locked it? I remained still as stone, looking at Her Fluffiness as I put my finger to my lips. I’m pretty sure she rolled her eyes.
“I know you’re here. I can hear you panic breathing.”
Then it was my turn to roll my eyes.
“I’ve got something for you.”
On the chance it was the previously promised cookies, I sat straight up. “In here.”
Tucker appeared in the doorway, propping it open with his shoulder as he took in the scene before him. His eyes locked on mine, and every cell in my body betrayed me.
One look and it all flooded back again—him moving over me, inside me, muscles straining, mouth claiming mine like I was the only thing he needed.
Damn. I was so far gone, I needed a search and rescue team.