Falling Madly

Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

Teresa

I t took me a week to catch up with all the work I’d missed on our Cozy Creek excursion, and another to get back to a work-life balance as I knew it, with occasional lunchtime walks and my mid-week pole dancing class. All in all, it was business as usual, which somehow felt wrong.

Trevor was still online, supplying me with copy and headlines. He did it through the official channels, though. No more private chat. I’d sent him one message after he dropped me off, desperate to hang onto that connection we’d shared, but he’d never replied. Not even with a thumbs-up. It had stung, but I knew I deserved it.

I hadn’t gathered my nerve to try again. Not yet. We both needed time. I’d promised myself that once the dust settled, I’d be able to process what had happened between us and what it meant. Clarity would come to me eventually, like it did with each tricky design job. I kept tweaking and testing ideas until everything made sense. I wasn’t sure what would bring clarity to this scenario, but it probably wasn’t me harassing Trevor online.

At night I lay in bed, feeling sad and lonely and confused. But it didn’t mean I loved Trevor, did it? I couldn’t even tell if I missed him or simply missed having someone in my life. I’d only just broken up with Richard, who—angry that he couldn’t contact me in any other way—had slipped seven notes under my door. The content ranged from apologies to accusations and possibly something else. I’d stopped reading after the first two and enjoyed burning them all over the sink. I’d set off the fire alarm with the first one, angering my neighbors.

Maybe I really was a pyromaniac. They’d called me that at school after I’d torched Julian’s car. There was something cleansing and final about fire. Not that I planned to destroy any more property. I’d put the batteries back into my fire alarm like a responsible citizen and aired out the room.

Neither Charlie nor Bess had mentioned anything about the office move, or Trevor. We were all busy trying to get on top of the workload, but I wondered if they were speaking behind my back. Maybe it was already a done deal, and I’d be the last one to hear about it. Probably after Lee, who was now working closely with Charlie on a new website.

I felt so emotionally exhausted that I couldn’t even bring myself to raise the question. I had no real say about it, anyway.

It was Friday morning when I finally showed my face in our shared office and found Bess there, plucking away at the latest campaign. This, too, was business as usual, which meant Trevor wasn’t taking the opportunity to catch me in person. He didn’t want to bump into me.

“Morning!” I hung my jacket by the door and connected my laptop to the external screens.

“Great to see you!” She beamed at me, reaching for a pretzel. “I was worried I’d have to sit here all alone today. Sorry, I’m snacking all day. I was feeling yuck this morning, skipped breakfast and now I’m starving.”

“Pregnancy sounds like fun.”

“It really is!” She rolled her eyes. “Do you want to ditch work and go get coffees?”

“Where? Outside?”

We usually made a cup of instant in the tiny kitchenette, too busy to fetch coffees.

She bit her lip. “I need to talk to you.”

I was instantly tense but forced a smile. “Sounds serious.”

“It is.” She put on a smile. “But don’t worry. It’s good, serious.”

What did that mean? I glanced at my laptop, weighing the most urgent items on my to-do list. If I was honest, there wasn’t too much there. I’d worked so hard for two weeks, that we were ahead of schedule. I should have been relieved, but instead felt hollow and lost, like I had nothing to hold onto.

We pulled on our jackets, and I followed Bess down the road to the nearest coffee shop. It was busy, mostly catering to the takeaway crowd, but offered a couple of tables and long bars with barstools by the window. We hopped onto the stools with our takeaway cups, as if ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

I missed the pace in Cozy Creek. Not feeling like the weirdo if you chose to sit down and spend some time eating, drinking and digesting what you bought.

“So, how’re you feeling?” Bess asked.

I chuckled softly, taking a sip of coffee. “Can we start with an easier question?”

“Okay… what happened with Kyle? I wanted to ask you earlier, but we were so busy, and I felt like you needed a bit of time.”

“I did,” I admitted. “Thank you.”

“Can you tell me now? I’m worried. About you, about Trevor, about the company. Everything.”

“Why? We’re okay. We’re on schedule. Ahead of schedule. I just sent the first drafts to?—”

“I’m not talking about work! You can’t just pretend nothing happened.”

To be honest, that’s exactly what I was pretending, at least to myself. I didn’t want to think about my past and how much certain individuals in Cozy Creek hated me, or how I’d watched my boyfriend making out with someone else, or what an idiot I’d been at Kyle’s. Or how Trevor now knew my dirty secrets, and no longer wanted to see me or talk to me.

“Things happened,” I said tentatively. “I’m trying to put them behind me.”

“I thought you liked Trevor?”

“He’s great. He’s… amazing.” I smiled, despite myself, thinking of our time together.

I thought about the Scot every day, every night, every morning when I woke up.

“He’s been in love with you for a long time,” Bess said quietly.

“He didn’t even know me.”

“I bet he knows you a little now.”

I gave her a wry smile. “And he hasn’t called or messaged me outside of work once. He left me on ‘read’.”

“There’s only so much rejection a man can take. Even Trevor.”

“He has this lumberjack dream… of hunting and fishing and splitting logs. That’s why he bought the cabin. And now he knows I’m not welcome at Cozy Creek. He knows?—”

“Did you hear what he said to those guys after the sledding contest? After you ran off? I got part of it on camera.”

I held my breath as she pulled out her phone and brought up a video clip. Trevor’s booming voice shot an instant arrow into my heart. “She’s with me, and if you mess with her, you mess with me!” he shouted. “If you start any trouble, I’ll make sure your dirty laundry gets aired very publicly!”

I heard Julian’s irritated voice in the background, but Bess closed the video. “You don’t need to hear that,” he said apologetically.

I stared at her silent phone, Trevor’s words still ringing in my ears. “Dirty laundry? He didn’t even know what happened. Not until later.”

I’d since told Bess the whole saga and told her to tell Charlie. It was better that they all knew.

Bess shrugged. “He took a wild guess. Guys like that always have dirty laundry. And he was right on the money.”

I sighed, shaking my head. “I can’t believe he stood up for me. I’d only just told him what I did, and he didn’t even know why.”

Bess smiled. “Love is blind. The only question is, how do you feel about him ?”

I shook my head, feeling the familiar confusion and panic. “I don’t know! I’ve never been in love, and I’ve been waiting for that thing to hit me. It’s supposed to feel like a freight train, right?”

Bess wrinkled her nose. “A freight train? That doesn’t sound pleasant.”

“You know, big! Heavy. Not subtle.”

“Why not subtle?”

“Because I’m not a subtle person. I feel strongly about many things. But when it comes to men, I’ve never felt like I wanted to give up my independence, my freedom… and merge with another person.” I shuddered. “I see people doing that. Changing everything about themselves and blending together.”

Bess gave me a reproachful look. “You say it like we exist in liquid form. You don’t lose your essence by falling in love. You discover it. You get to see yourself through the other person’s eyes.”

I thought of the way Trevor had looked at me, like I’d hung the moon and the stars and half the galaxy. But that was before he knew my past.

“I feel like I can’t live up to this image he has of me. Or had. I don’t know what he’s thinking now.”

“He loves you, plain and simple.”

I sat with the uncomfortable truth, drinking my coffee with its mildly burned flavor, watching the people outside the window. A blur of dark winter coats. That’s what other people were. A blur of coats. Unless I stopped and focused on someone and truly connected. Unless I let someone in to see the mess.

I’d start with Bess.

“That day in Kyle’s cabin, I was convinced he was going to murder me.”

She spat her coffee. “What?”

I cringed. “Yeah. He joked about dead bodies in his basement and then I found a four-gallon container of bleach under his sink. Is that suspicious?”

Bess lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. People who live remotely tend to buy in bulk.”

“Anyway, it turned out I misread the whole thing. I heard the story of the missing tourist, and my imagination ran with it. My whole life, I’ve been waiting for the freight train of love to hit me, and I always thought I could at least trust my instincts to tell me when it happened. But now I feel like I can’t trust myself. I freaked out so badly that I fainted. I fucking fainted, thinking I was going to die.” Shame pulsed through me, coloring my cheeks.

“That’s horrible!”

“But it was all in my head. So, even if I was in love with Trevor, how would I know? My brain is misfiring!” I fought tears, trying to turn so that nobody else in the cafe saw me, but we were sitting at the window. On display.

Bess placed her hand over mine. “I get how awful that was. I might have freaked out as well. But it doesn’t mean your instincts are broken. It just means you let the fear take the wheel. It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.”

I thought about what Trevor had told me about his premonitions, and how he’d been convinced Gavin was bad news. That was why he’d wanted me off the project—to protect me from a threat he had perceived, one that I couldn’t sense at all. It had been real for him. Just as real as what I’d experienced in Kyle’s cabin. Real enough to knock you out.

“He’s been trying to protect me. All this time,” I said quietly to no one in particular. “Trevor’s never wanted to hurt me.”

“No, he didn’t,” Bess said, relief in her voice. “I’m glad you can see it now.”

“But how can I know if I’m in love with him? I miss him. I have this awful, hollow feeling, like I’m not okay. Like I don’t know how to ‘be’ when I’m alone. I used to be okay alone. I loved being alone. Something’s changed, but I don’t know what it is. And I feel like Trevor deserves better than that. He deserves someone who’s just as passionate. Someone who’s sure about him and all of it.”

Bess grabbed my hands, forcing me to look at her. Green eyes burning with conviction. “I’ll try to help you, okay? But you just have to go with it, like an improv exercise. Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”

“Just… ready?” She nodded in confirmation, her eyebrows raised, that intense look in her eyes.

I nodded. “Okay…”

“Close your eyes.”

I did.

“Now… if you have great news, who would you share it with? Who’d be the most excited for you?”

The faces of Bess and my sister flickered behind my eyelids. But I couldn’t help seeing Trevor, too. And when I imagined his face, I felt the warmth and intensity of his attention. No one else could match it. “I don’t know,” I said. My face felt hot.

“If you’re feeling lonely, late at night, who do you wish was there?”

“Trevor,” I whispered.

“And if you’re scared, who do you want?”

I saw Trevor’s face again, just like I’d seen it at Kyle’s house, first in my imagination before I passed out, then for real.

“Trevor,” I said again, a little louder.

“And who do you love?”

Trevor, I thought, but I couldn’t get the word out.

Bess sighed. “So… what’s wrong? What did he do wrong? I mean, I get that it was too soon and too much, but is there something else? Do you hate beards? Scottish accents? Tall guys? Knitting?”

I opened my eyes, blinking away tears. “No! He didn’t do anything wrong. He just picked the wrong woman.”

Bess frowned, cocking her head. “Wrong? How’re you wrong for him?”

“For one, I can’t live in Cozy Creek, and he’s setting up his whole life there. He bought a house. He?—”

“He’s selling it. He listed it on Monday.”

“What?”

Bess gave me a pained look. “Charlie said he already has two offers.”

“Really?”

I had no right to feel angry. I had no claim on that house, or even the couch we’d joked about. I didn’t own anything there, and I had no say in Trevor’s affairs. Yet I found my hand shaking as I reached for my takeaway cup. How could he sell that house? My dream house. The most beautiful house I’d ever seen.

“Well, I hope the new owner appreciates it.” I was going for a neutral tone, but it came out spiteful.

“I’m sure they will. It’s gorgeous.”

I took a breath, weighing my words. She was friends with both of us, but I really needed an ally. “Do you know… why? Is the office not moving?”

Bess shook her head. “Not at this stage. I think we’ll fit into our current space just fine for a while, with Trevor moving back to Scotland and all.” She held still, studying me with concern, waiting for her words to hit home.

“What?”

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. He asked me to pass on the message.”

I hung my head. It felt so heavy I wished I could have dropped it on the table. “When is he leaving?”

“This weekend.”

Cold sweat prickled on my neck. There were so many things I wanted to ask, but none of them felt appropriate. “What about the company? What are we going to do?”

“He asked us to give his shares to you. We’ll struggle, but we’ll survive. You know he’s been on a very low salary? That’s how we could afford to pay you. But we’ll figure it out. It’ll be okay.”

It wasn’t. In that moment, my heart knew, with absolute certainty, that I’d never be okay with Trevor going away. Ever.

I burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably over my coffee cup. Tears gathered on top of the plastic lid, leaking into my drink. “I drove him away. I messed up. He thinks I don’t… he thinks I… but I can’t…”

Bess drew me into a hug, whispering into my ear. “You love him, right?”

“I love him,” I sobbed. “I don’t want him to go! I love him.”

“I’m sorry I had to do it this way, but now you know.”

I pulled away to look her in the eye. “Know what?”

Her smile sparkled, suspiciously bright. “I made it up. He’s not going anywhere. He hasn’t said anything like that. I don’t think he’s selling the house either. He made us do the paperwork to transfer half of his shares to you months ago, so that part is half-true. But you’d still have to agree to it.” Her eyes glistened. “I just wanted you to see how you felt about him.”

My breath caught in my throat, and I croaked in disbelief. Like a frog. I slapped her arm, then made another incoherent noise. “Fuck, that was diabolical!” I huffed, hanging my head. “I feel like an idiot.”

She grinned back. “Congratulations! You’re in love.”

Two and half hours later, I arrived in Cozy Creek. The Valentine’s Day decorations were finally gone, but the wintery scene was somehow every bit as magical, with gently floating snowflakes and snowcapped evergreens.

I parked Bess’s little hatchback outside Trevor’s cabin and ran towards the door. It felt weird that I’d never seen his place in Denver. We’d only ever spent time together in Cozy Creek. And now he apparently lived here.

In my frenzy to get to him, I knocked on the door and then froze, suddenly realizing he might not be alone. His car was in the driveway, but what if he’d driven here with someone else? What if Bess was mistaken, and he’d already moved on? I’d treated him horribly for months, assuming the worst. Sure, he’d hurt me, and sort of ruined my big break, but I understood him a little better now. More importantly, I had truly forgiven him. There wasn’t even a small slice of grudge left in my soul, and it felt liberating. I felt lighter than air.

We’d both made mistakes. My instincts were fallible, just as fallible as Trevor’s. Yet, I loved him. That ache in my chest had sharpened like flavor being teased out on low heat until it was all I could taste with every receptor in my body.

Bess’s little theater piece had achieved two things: I knew how I felt, and I knew what I feared. On the way to Trevor’s door, I’d scanned his yard for a ‘for sale’ sign, relieved there wasn’t one. The alternate reality she’d painted of him selling the house and moving away wasn’t that far-fetched. I’d believed it without a moment’s hesitation. Maybe Trevor wasn’t there yet, but if I kept pushing him away and breaking his heart, it might happen.

There’s only so much rejection a man can take.

I knocked again and heard the faint sound of footsteps. Finally, the door opened. It was him. Barefoot, in gray slacks and a white tee, hair sticking out and mouth curving into a smile. The light flooding in through the tall windows framed him with an otherworldly halo as he leaned his arm on the doorframe, tilting his head at me. “Teresa.”

He said my name like a caress, waiting for my move.

“Trevor,” I said back, swallowing against the stickiness in my throat. “I’m ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“For us.”

He stepped aside to let me in. The cabin looked as inviting and grand as before, but there was a stack of boxes by the doorway. Next to them stood a huge office printer—the very same model I remembered cursing at Wilde Creative many times.

“Wait, are you moving?” My voice rang with fear.

Trevor looked confused. “Yeah. I’m moving here.”

“Here,” I repeated. “You’re staying here ?”

“Yes.” He stood on the living room threshold, hands on his hips, waiting for my next move.

My heart ached, but I tried to smile. “Is that your home printer?”

“Sort of,” he said. “I bought it for the business, but it doesn’t fit into our office in Denver, so I’ve been hosting it until we find a bigger office space.”

“Why did I not know about that? I’ve been using the print shop down the road. This could have saved money.”

He scratched his neck. “Because it was in my apartment, and I didn’t think ye wanted to visit.”

“Where was your apartment in Denver? I never even asked.” My face flushed with shame.

“Two blocks from yours.”

All the time we’d wasted, so close to each other… I nodded, looking at the giant gray box. “I hate the user interface on that thing, but the quality is pretty good. It does Spiro binding, right?”

“Did you come here to discuss office printing?” His smile was crooked, and a little sad.

I took off my shoes as he took my jacket. “No. I came to visit my couch.”

“This way,” he said, leading me to it. “Can I offer ye something? Coffee?”

I sank into the heavenly softness with a sigh. “No, it’s okay.” I pulled my passport out of my purse and handed it to him. “Here you go.”

He made a show of inspecting it. “Teresa Dragonfly Shaw. Very good.”

“It doesn’t say that!” I huffed a small laugh as I tried to gather my thoughts. I’d imagined it all on the way here. I’d imagined throwing myself at him, not holding back. Showing him that I meant it. And now I’d already chickened out. What if he said “no”? What if he’d changed his mind?

He sat on the ottoman next to me, waiting. Watching.

“You know how I told you I’ve never been in love?” I said, sounding as breathless as I felt. Was I running out of oxygen? Would I faint again?

“Uh-huh.”

“I’ve done a lot of thinking, and it turns out, that’s not entirely true.”

His mouth twitched and his eyes softened a little. “Oh, really?”

I tried to draw a steady breath. Remaining conscious would really help right now. “Really. Because, lately, it’s been happening to me. Or maybe it’s been happening for a long time, and I’ve finally caught on. And I don’t want you to move away.”

He looked at me quizzically. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Maybe not right now. But it’s not something I’m willing to leave up to chance. Or circumstances.”

He smiled, lifting my passport. “Would ye like to confiscate my passport?”

A blush warmed my face. “I’m not good at this. I’m not a copywriter or a poet!”

He shifted a little closer, reaching for my hand. “You’re doing great.”

Air escaped my lungs and words followed. “I think I’m in love with you, Trevor. I don’t know how to be on my own anymore. It’s not the same. It’s like something is missing and I’ll never be okay unless I’m with you.”

“Don’t look so scared. It’s a good thing, I promise.” He shifted next to me on the couch and pulled me against his chest, stroking my hair.

Judging by the storm raging inside of me, I probably did look terrified. But as he held me, the storm settled, and those waves turned into smaller waves, then tiny laps sloshing against my ribcage, as if all my insides had liquified. Maybe I was merging now, like ink spilling into a glass of water, swirling and diluting. I listened to his heartbeat and inhaled the slightly woodsy smell of his shirt, feeling safe. More okay than I’d felt in days.

If our lives were intertwined, he’d stay with me. I’d stay with him. No matter what happened to the house or the business, I’d have Trevor. And that was what I wanted.

“I don’t want to go back to dating, though,” I said. “Not the casual kind where I’m only sharing one piece of myself and keeping my life the same. I want the non-casual. The scary kind.”

He chuckled softly into my hair. “That’s what I want, too. The scary kind.”

He kissed my curls, then brushed them off my face to trail his lips down my cheek. When they found my mouth, I held my breath. Every single time had felt amazing with him, but the layers of emotion bursting from my heart made the moment a hundred times more powerful. There was nothing standing between us anymore, neither of us holding back or questioning the magic. We were submitting to it.

I parted my lips, drawing him in, hungry and desperate. I didn’t even notice when we moved from vertical to horizontal, but at some point, I felt the pressure at the back of my head. I was lying on the couch, still kissing him. Every part of me was on fire. The good kind. The scary kind. One that cleansed without destroying.

“I love your smell,” he murmured into my neck, inhaling deeply. “It’s like a drug.”

“Good,” I whispered back. “Because I want to drug you and keep you.”

“That’s my line!” He laughed.

“No. I get to be obsessed with you now. You’ve put a spell on me and now I can’t live without you.” It was the cringiest thing anyone could have possibly said, and I’d said it with a straight face, grasping at his T-shirt.

“So, you’re okay with me being a little obsessed with you? Because I’ve been holding back.”

“Don’t!” I tugged at his slacks until his hips were squarely against mine. “I want it all.”

He grinned, gazing at me from under heavy eyelids. Dark eyes, unfocused and hungry. “Are you sure?”

He dived into my neck and kissed me hard, adding enough suction to probably leave a mark. I didn’t care. I moaned.

Why had I ever settled for less than devotion? For being loved in that drunkenly obsessed way that left no room for doubt? No need for theatrics or performance. Only a desperate need to join with another person and bask in their presence. Now that I knew my heart could match his, I didn’t need him to rein it in. I wanted everything.

“What have you always wanted to do with me? What have you fantasized about?” I asked.

I reached for his slacks, stretched taut by his erection, and stroked him through the fabric. I don’t know what I’d expected, but the tears in his eyes took me by surprise.

“This,” he choked out. “This is my fantasy.”

“Having sex on a couch?”

He let out a wobbly laugh, then got off me and scooped me up so that we were standing. “This,” he said again. “Being able to love you with all my heart.”

“Let’s do it,” I said, catching his tear with my thumb. “Let’s love excessively. Let’s be over-the-top and cringe. It’s taken me so long to get here, and I feel like I’ve missed out on too much.”

“So, I can give you a house and you won’t freak out?”

“Umm…”

“Because I put yer name on the deeds months ago. It’s yours if you sign the papers.”

My heart just about stopped, and I stared at him. “What?”

“It was always yours, Dragonfly.” He glanced at the art print on the wall.

I took a deep breath and smiled, trying very hard not to freak out. Trevor scratched his beard. “I thought maybe it wasnae the right time to tell ye, so I kept it quiet. Let’s talk about it later, aye?” He leaned in and whispered into my ear. “How about I give ye something else first? Something that comes with less paperwork… like an orgasm?”

My exhale turned into a shaky laugh. “Sounds good.”

He placed his giant hand on my lower back, leading me towards the bedroom, and no part of me resisted.

“Do you have a kilt?” I asked. “Because the other two elements from my sex dream are… also available.”

He froze in the bedroom doorway, casting me a look that spoke volumes. “Seriously? Here, in this house? Because I want to change my answer to your earlier question. My fantasy is to re-enact your dream. But I thought it was set on an alien planet.”

I chuckled. “I told you it wasn’t that strange, right?”

“Ye said, and I quote, ‘It would never happen in real life.’”

“Well, how could I know you had a giant printer in your house? My dream featured the office one, and it seemed a bit far-fetched to sit on it naked while you fucked me in a kilt.”

In two minutes, he’d changed into his kilt, grinning at me in blue-gray tartan and nothing else. “Every man dies; not every man really lives.”

“Braveheart?”

He nodded, and I pulled off my black sweater, then my tank top, finally jiggling out of my jeans as I walked towards the office printer. I felt his gaze on my skin, as he gained on me, reaching me by the time I dropped my underwear on the floor by the bottom paper tray.

The front of his kilt bulged awkwardly. “You can’t hide an erection in that, can you?” I smiled, beckoning him closer.

“Not well,” he admitted, his eyes trailing down my body. “What exactly happened in that dream? Why were you naked by the printer?”

“Dreams don’t have to make sense.”

“True. So, you were next to the printer?”

“Sitting on it,” I said, biting my lip.

He hoisted me onto the printer, stepping between my knees. My hand rested on a button and the machine whirred.

“Sorry, it’s on. I tested it earlier.”

I smiled. “Perfect. I need it to know what’s happening.”

“So, what is happening?” he asked, eyelids heavy, voice pure gravel. “Describe the dream.”

“I think we were in that stuffy little room at Wilde. It was always hot in there, so let’s say I was naked because I was hot. And you came in…”

“Wearing a kilt,” he finished.

I leaned my head against the wall of muscles that was his chest, feeling both embarrassed and excited. “And then you just had me right there.”

“I’ve been wondering why I had this printer, and now I know. I bought it off Wilde when they upgraded.”

I looked up in shock. “It’s the same printer?”

“The very same one.”

Uncontrollable laughter took over me. “I’ve had my arm inside it so many times!” I hiccupped.

“Paper jams?”

“Yeah. You have to pull out all these parts…”

“I know. I’ve done the same.”

“I guess I always wanted to defile this machine in some way.”

“Let’s.”

He trailed his mouth down my body, sucking my nipples, then moved down between my thighs. This was so much better than I’d ever imagined. In my dream, he’d been a sexy brute, lured in by my naked body. It’d been fast and forceful, an illicit office affair you could only ever have in your dreams if you wanted to keep your job and not overly complicate your life.

The real Trevor was something else entirely. He took his time, savoring every moment. He touched and teased me gently, responding to every sound I made.

“Dragonfly,” he murmured.

I rocked with him, my body humming in response like I was the one plugged into a power socket, not the machine under me. The delicious tension gathered, building until I was truly floating somewhere high above, suspended between his hands and mouth, legs dangling in the air. I lost sense of time. Maybe I lost sense of myself, but it wasn’t dangerous. It was perfect.

With his tongue dancing on my clit, I came apart, clutching onto his shoulders. I felt sunshine piercing my heart, as if I was floating above the clouds. Nothing had ever felt this good.

When he pushed the kilt aside and rolled on a condom, I gasped at the sight. It was my dream. He was making my dream come true. I throbbed in anticipation as he stepped closer, using an upturned plastic crate to reach the right height. Like in the dream, everything just worked out, and he pushed into me, taking over every bit of my body, releasing a low growl that resonated somewhere deep inside me.

I moved with him, drinking in the pure ecstasy I saw on his face and heard in his voice. I was so focused on his pleasure, I didn’t even realize I was reaching another climax before it took over, delivering uncontrollable shakes. His head dropped onto my shoulder, and he sighed against my skin.

“I love you, Teresa.”

“I love you, too.”

I finally understood what it meant to have your heart so full it might split, because I could barely talk. He carried me away from the printer and into the bedroom. I was ready to fall now. Fall so hard that the world outside faded away. So madly that nothing else mattered.

I’d be pathetic and cringe and all the things I’d looked down on, as long as I got to be with him.