Chapter Twenty-Four Lucky
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lucky
But before I could share the innermost parts of my psyche and my deepest desires, Thomas interrupted us over the radio.
“Hunter, Hunter, Thomas.”
He grabbed his walkie-talkie. “This is Hunter.”
“I need your assistance on the sundeck.”
“Copy. I’ll be right there.” He jumped off the counter and smiled at me before he left.
I fought off the sinking disappointment I felt. This was better. I could concentrate on the task at hand and didn’t have the chance to vomit words all over Hunter. I hadn’t humiliated myself.
Now there was no chance of him putting his hands on my shoulders and saying, “Lucky, you’re a really nice person but I don’t think of you that way.” That would have been horrific. World-ending. Nuclear apocalypse bad.
Why had I been so ready to tell him that I liked him? To risk that kind of rejection?
The stain had lifted out and the dress was clean. Marika had been a wizard at finding the most incredible products for laundry and cleaning. I wondered how the exterior crew was doing with the stained deck while I rinsed the dress, wrung out the excess water, and then put it between two fluffy towels to dry quickly.
I went into the galley to see what we still needed to finish for the night. By the time I completed everything there, the dress had dried completely. I went to Sasha’s cabin and knocked on her door.
She answered it naked.
And from the expression on her face, I was not who she had been expecting.
I held the dress out to her while averting my eyes. “Here you go! All clean.”
This was a first for me, so I wasn’t sure of what the protocol here was. Sasha took the dress and carefully checked the edge where the stain had been.
Figuring I should probably go, I said, “Have a good—”
“Where is my champagne?” she demanded. Like she was angry that the stain was gone and so she had to find something else to be mad about.
“Did you request champagne?”
“Did I request ... yes. I told the taller blonde to bring me champagne.” She was talking about Emilie.
Who had dropped the ball, again.
“I’ll get that for you right away,” I said.
Sasha was obviously very comfortable with her body, as she continued to stand there and yell at me. “It should have been in my cabin waiting for me!”
“You’re right, my apologies—”
But she cut me off. “And my bridesmaids’ cabins were not cleaned. What is wrong with you and your staff? You literally have one job. How much of an idiot do you have to be to work here? Do you have to fail an IQ test?”
I knew she was drunk. I knew she was angry. I knew she was frustrated. But instead of being able to rationally excuse her lashing out, my anxiety was making my entire body shake, telling me that she was right about everything she was saying.
“I’ll get you the champagne and I’ll clean their rooms—”
She interrupted me again. “It’s too late. They’re already in bed. Do better. I can’t believe how terrible the service has been on this trip.”
Sasha slammed the door shut and I gasped a little, the sound shocking my system. I hurried to the galley to get the champagne. I knocked on her door and she threw it open, still naked, and grabbed the bottle from my hands before slamming the door a second time.
She was going to tell the captain. She would tell him how incompetent I was and he would fire me and then I would never reopen my nonna’s bakery. Everything would be gone because Emilie couldn’t be bothered to do her job, because Sasha couldn’t be a nice human.
And after I got fired, I would never get to see Hunter again.
I was nauseous; I needed to get to a toilet. I hurried to my cabin and went immediately into the bathroom.
Kneeling over the toilet, I felt sweat pouring down my back and a stabbing sensation in my chest. I was on the verge of a panic attack, which I very much did not want to have. I sat on the floor of the bathroom and began my breathing exercises.
I wished Hunter were here to hold my hands. I closed my eyes and pictured it and somehow it helped. My breathing got easier and my legs stronger, so that I was able to stand up and splash water on my face.
The cold shock of the water also made me feel more myself, reminded me where I was. Grounded me.
I glanced up at the shelves and saw his cologne bottle. I picked it up and took off the lid, taking a deep sniff. It so reminded me of him that I found it calming me down even more. He chose then to come back into our cabin. I began fumbling the bottle and it was a minor miracle that I didn’t drop it and douse the entire bathroom.
“Lucky?”
I got the bottle back onto the shelf and quickly checked my fingers to make sure I hadn’t accidentally spilled any. There would not be a logical way for me to explain why I suddenly smelled like him.
Not detecting any rogue scents, I came out into the cabin.
“There you are. What did Sasha ...” His voice trailed off as he looked at my face. “What happened?”
He sounded a bit angry. I told him everything, how mean she had been, what she had said. His jaw got tighter and tighter.
“The Carmines jinxed us by being so nice,” I said. “The universe needed to rebalance by giving us nightmare guests.”
“That bridal party are all starving,” he interjected. “It’s why they’re so terrible.”
I tried to smile. “Pasta really does make the world a better place.” I let out a big breath. “Then I got Sasha the champagne and was worried that I was going to have a panic attack so I came back here. I didn’t have one, though, because I thought about ...”
My earlier resolve to tell him how I felt was completely gone. Especially after Sasha’s attack. I felt too raw to be rejected.
“What did you think about?” he asked in a quiet voice.
As if he knew.
Again, I had that pang of wanting to be honest with him. I couldn’t, though. So I settled on, “Something that made me feel better. I’m just worried she’ll go to the captain.”
“Even Captain Carl can see how awful these guests are,” he said.
“He’s not supposed to,” I countered. “We live by ‘never let them see you sweat.’ Everything can go completely wrong just so long as the guests and captain never know.”
“The guests know how they’re acting. I’ll go and say something to that bride right now,” he said, his jaw still tense.
I put my hands on his arms to stop him from leaving. “No! That would be the worst thing you could do. We’ve all had to put up with so much from them. Let’s not fumble this at the one-yard line.”
“A football reference?” One corner of his mouth quirked up in a half smile and I felt the tension leave his body.
“Yes, football. I’m trying to speak to you in a language you’ll understand.”
He nodded. “I also would have accepted ‘loose lips sink ships.’”
Now I was the one smiling. “Sasha’s not worth losing our jobs over. I do hate how small she made me feel. That I let her make me feel small and didn’t just let her words roll off my back.”
His clenched jaw returned. “Understandable, given how horrible she was being to you.”
It was then that I realized I still had my hands on him and dropped them back down to my sides.
“Do you know what would cheer you up?” he asked. “ White Christmas .”
He was right. That would cheer me up.
“Get ready for bed and meet me in your bunk when you’re done,” he said. I hurried and changed, knowing that he was off to make some popcorn.
I was already in bed when he returned. Sure enough, he’d microwaved some popcorn. He climbed in beside me and offered me the bag first.
It was a sweet gesture. I took a handful and started the movie.
And everything was going just fine until the retired general entered the dining hall where all his former troops were waiting for him as a surprise. The expression on the actor’s face ... I knew exactly how it would look, but it still managed to make me tear up every time.
Well, almost every time. This time it had the effect of making me sob.
“Hey,” Hunter said, sounding worried.
I was crying too hard to respond. It was like everything that had happened that evening, along with all the other stuff I’d been internally wrestling with, the longing, the pining, the desperate wanting while knowing nothing could ever happen, came pouring out of me.
And I absolutely did not want to cry in front of this man, but it was like I couldn’t help myself. I had to get it all out.
Without saying another word Hunter hugged me to him, holding me. He seemed to understand that it was exactly what I needed.
By the time the characters were singing the last song of the movie, I finally managed to calm down. Hunter reached over and shut my laptop.
“I’m sorry I keep crying in your arms,” I said against his shoulder.
“That’s what they’re here for,” he said, and flexed them against me. It made me laugh-cry at the same time.
“It’s better than a panic attack, right?” I tried to match his light tone.
But then he switched things up on me and got all serious. “However you need to process what you’re feeling, you should do it.” He paused and added, “And I’ll be here to help you in any way that I can.”
That last line made me feel worse. Like he saw himself as needing to support me because I was such a mess. “Crying like that makes me feel really weak.”
His words were making me feel weak, too. In more ways than one.
He reached up with his hand and turned my face so that I was looking into his bright blue eyes. “Lucky Salerno, I don’t think you’re weak. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”
Our gazes locked and I saw the moment when his eyes lowered to my lips, and felt his arms tighten around me. My heart fluttered with excitement, my stomach squeezed with anticipation, my nerve endings sparking with joy.
This wasn’t my imagination.
Hunter wanted to kiss me.