Chapter 23
Elle
I’ve been in the hair and makeup trailer for two hours, and they’re nearly done. My up-do, including extensions and silk flowers, has taken up the majority of the time. For the most part, I’ve sat quietly and only spoken when the hairstylists and makeup artists have asked me questions.
It’s always odd at first on a new job, because I’m uncomfortably aware that everyone knows far more about me than I know about them.
And that can make them uncomfortable, too.
It’s like they’re afraid of stumbling over elephants in rooms. Not this lot, though.
They’re a riot, and I suspect we’ll feel like a family by this time next week.
Parka Pete, as he introduced himself earlier when he got me a mug of tea, pops his head around the door, encased in the hood of a tatty-looking parka and holds out a cardboard box of the eggs and avocado I ordered from catering.
‘You want this in here, lovey, or when you’re out of the chair?’
I stick my hand out. I’m starving. ‘I’ll have it here, if you guys can work around it.’
Parka Pete is the Cast PA, or Cast Production Assistant. His job is to look after the cast, particularly the leads, and he will likely be my guardian angel.
‘Go for it, babes,’ says Cheryl, my makeup artist. ‘You need your grub; we’ll manage just fine.’
Felicity, playing my mother, pipes up from the chair next to me. ‘You got my bacon sarnie there, Pete?’
‘I most certainly have, your Ladyship.’ Pete edges in and puts a box and some cutlery down in front of both of us.
‘You’re an absolute star.’ She rips open her box in delight.
Today is our third day of filming, but I haven’t glimpsed Josh in costume yet.
I shot a scene with my family yesterday, and according to yesterday’s sides (which are the little paper handouts distributed each morning that tell everyone who’s shooting what and where that day), he was shooting one between Dominic and Rugby on another stage.
We did, however, have our sit-down with the intimacy coordinator, Kate, yesterday morning. It was excruciating. I felt like Josh and I were two adolescents having to have a sex talk with a teacher. I’ve worked with intimacy coordinators before—all female—and I’m a huge advocate of their role.
The introduction of the IC role has taken sex scenes from potentially massive liabilities for everyone involved to heavily choreographed processes where the actors and directors have a chance to voice concerns, discuss the motivation and justification for having an intimate scene, and rehearse the sequence of actions the scene will comprise.
When an IC does his or her job well, the actors feel safe and there are no surprises when the cameras start rolling.
Amen to that.
I liked Kate a lot, and I respected that she came out guns blazing.
‘Tell me if I’m wrong, but the main area I’d like to address is the fact that you have been involved with each other romantically in the past.’
Josh and I managed to avoid looking at each other, both acknowledging her point tersely. Poor Kate. We were on opposite ends of the sofa, stiff as boards. She was going to have a hell of a lot of work to do on our body language.
‘Thank you. I didn’t want to make assumptions that the relationship was real as opposed to something orchestrated for the press’ benefit.’
Bloody hell. This woman didn’t pull her punches.
‘It was real,’ I mumbled, picking at a hangnail. Operative word: was. I glanced at Josh, daring him to contradict me, but he just nodded like he was agreeing to a request to pull out his wisdom teeth without anaesthetic.
Kate nodded like I was a therapy patient who’d had a breakthrough.
‘Excellent, Ellery. Therefore, and please stop me at any time if I make any incorrect assumptions, you will both have concerns around intimacy that are quite different from ones actors who don’t know each other may have.
My job is to ensure that to the greatest degree possible, when you are in front of the cameras you feel as safe and as prepared as you can be while honouring the needs of the story in that particular scene.
‘Think of it like a fight scene. The potential for injury in a fight scene that isn’t properly choreographed and planned out to the last detail is massive. It’s exactly the same with sex scenes, even if the potential damage is invisible.’
I nodded, even though I’d heard this analogy before from other ICs, because her words were a reminder that this wasn’t me, alone in front of the camera with Josh and relying on his good graces.
We had a professional in our corner, reducing what would look post production like an effortlessly steamy sequence to a mechanical series of gestures.
Move arm like X. Do Y with mouth. That I could do.
‘Let’s start by voicing any concerns you may have, if you feel comfortable sharing them in front of each other,’ Kate said. ‘If you’d rather both speak to me separately, we can do this as two private chats.’
‘I just want to make sure Elle feels comfortable and safe at all times,’ Josh said gruffly.
‘I don’t know how she’s feeling about this conversation, but I know it’s difficult for me.
Having said that, I’m willing to discuss anything that needs to be covered—I’m hoping the more clarity we get now, the less margin for error or offence there’ll be when we’re shooting. ’
‘That’s great, Josh,’ Kate said, and I rolled my eyes internally, even though I was grateful for his words. ‘Do you have anything to add, Ellery?’
‘I think Josh has covered everything,’ I said evenly.
Wild horses could not drag my biggest fear out of me.
What if my brain and my body get confused?
What if I find myself practically naked with Josh on set and it triggers feelings I’ve worked very, very hard on burying?
What if I fancy the pants off him in naked, sexy duke mode?
Luckily, movie sets are spectacularly unsexy places, and when I had the exposed paunch of some sound guy hanging over me as he held the boom in place, I’d be unlikely to be transported by desire.
We covered off the contractual boundaries we’d both stipulated.
Josh and I had reasonably similar clauses: we’d both agreed to fully nude rear and side views and I’d agreed to show my nipples where we deemed it artistically appropriate.
Whatever. They were just nipples. I was more worried about skin on skin than I was about the world seeing my boobs on camera again—
Oh, holy fuck. I suddenly sat bolt upright.
‘What is it?’ Kate asked.
I looked at Josh in a panic.
‘Do you want me to leave?’ He pointed at the door. ‘I can leave.’
‘No. No—I.’ Shit. This was important stuff. I needed to stand up for myself. ‘I just thought of something—we have clauses for what the camera can show, but not regarding… um, touch.’ I couldn’t have Josh touching my boobs.
Kate’s eyebrows knitted together.
‘I mean, I obviously have places I’m not comfortable being touched by’—I risked a look at Josh, who looked like he wanted to sink through the floor—‘my co-leads.’ I gestured vaguely to my boob area for good measure.
‘Oh, gosh.’ Kate held up her hand. ‘Please don’t worry about that, Ellery.
Every single movement and point of contact will be pre-agreed.
There will be no touch you’re not comfortable with, and I’d be very surprised if the directors made any requests in that department that you deem unreasonable.
In the most extreme scenario, we could demand a body double, but I have a feeling that won’t be necessary.
Now. Let’s talk about closure, shall we?
And then we can run through your expectations for tomorrow’s kissing scene. ’
I’d done closure before. The idea was that our bodies could get carried away in these scenes, producing the same chemicals they might produce in real life—endorphins, dopamine—and that it was healthy to have a ritual between the actors that marked the end of the scene. I usually high-fived, or hugged it out.
In Gracie, David and I had a particularly silly ritual of sticking our tongues out and making fart noises while putting our thumbs on our noses and wiggling our fingers like clowns.
The sex scenes were so difficult, and often harrowing, we needed something infantile to snap us out of that headspace afterwards.
‘Do you have any suggested signs for closure?’ Kate asked.
‘How about a hug?’ Josh suggested at the same time that I said, ‘A handshake?’
I stared at him as if he’s lost the plot.
A fucking hug?
No way.
Kate cocked her head. ‘Okay. Why did you suggest a handshake, Ellery?’
‘It’s transactional.’ I glared daggers at Josh. ‘It reminds us that what just passed was us doing our job.’
‘That seems fair. Do you agree, Josh?’
‘Sure. Whatever Elle wants.’
‘Excellent.’ Kate picked up her notebook. ‘Now, let’s talk about this kiss.’