Chapter 37
Elle
I’m in a dreamlike state before Josh even touches me properly.
He’s so right: our frantic hookups in our trailers have been hot beyond belief, and just what we’ve needed when we were shooting and got caught up in the moment, but we both need this. To enjoy each other. To take our time, luxuriate in each other.
The way he’s been with me these past couple of weeks, I can’t deny the fierceness of his appetite for me. It’s like the guy has tunnel vision and I’m the only thing he sees. It’s gratifying, I won’t lie, but I keep coming back to the same bloody thing.
He was like this before. Exactly like this.
And he walked away.
So however ardently his gorgeous brown eyes bore into mine, however worshipfully he touches my body, however skilfully he gives me release, I’m taking it one night at a time. Refusing to even let the F-word (‘future’) onto my radar when it comes to Josh Lander.
That’s not to say I’m not one hundred percent ready for tonight. As lovers (ugh, I hate that word, but what can you do? Is fuck-buddies better?), we’re so attuned it’s terrifying.
My body needs this.
I need this.
And I won’t deny having Josh Lander so far gone—so consumed over me—is a huge boost to my self-confidence and makes me feel a lot better about my decision to let him back into my life in this incredibly intimate way.
Not to mention, he’s the most beautiful specimen of manhood I’ve ever seen. That’s the really irritating thing. No one else hits the spot quite like him.
The way his jaw curves before squaring off.
The perfect density of his stubble (ridiculous, I know).
The slightly feline shape of his eyes.
The way his lids, with their dark, thick lashes, grow heavy when he looks at me.
The dip of his cupid’s bow.
That hair, the ultimate dirty blonde, cries out for me to rake my fingers through it.
To grab it and make his scalp tingle.
And shall we talk about his body? Hooooly hell, his body.
Those crazy caps of his delts, and the fact that his torso manages to be beautifully lean but undeniably strong.
His bum is edible, and his athletic thighs, with their powerful quads, taper into long legs.
And let’s not even get started on his dick.
I stare down at it greedily as he frames my head with his hands and crawls up my body on all fours. This man has I mean business tattooed across his forehead, and I’m pretty ecstatic to be his project of choice this evening.
He lowers his gorgeous face to mine, his eyelashes sweeping his cheeks, and kisses me in a way that tells me he has all evening. He’s not in a hurry. I suspect he’ll eke this out. Make me wait. Make me beg.
I already can’t bear it.
As Josh’s tongue gives my mouth a little preview of its skills, his fingers find my breast and sweep around it in lazy circles.
They trace the underside with a whisper-light touch and trail their way over to my other breast. My nipples are stiffening even more than they were, if that’s possible.
They’re crying out to be touched. Rolled. Pinched.
But he ignores them. Instead, his hand trails down my stomach, leaving a smattering of goosebumps in its wake.
His knuckles brush the very top of my bikini line before diverting north.
He’s giving me almost nothing, and it feels amazing.
I grab at the satisfying bulk of his bicep and whimper frustratedly into his mouth.
‘Josh. I can’t wait. Please touch me.’
‘You wanna be touched?’ His voice is low and gruff with emotion. ‘I’ll touch you everywhere, sweet girl. I was just enjoying your body for a second.’ He kisses me chastely on the lips before glancing down at my body.
‘Those nipples look pretty needy to me. Shall I start with them?’
‘Yes. Yes, please.’
‘So polite.’ He gets back up on his knees and nudges my legs apart so he can kneel between them, and reaching forward, he presses on one nipple, rolling it lightly under his finger.
It’s heaven and hell at the same time. I need so much more.
He does the same with his other hand, my other nipple, and then he takes his pincer grip and pinches them. Rolls them. Hard.
Oh holy shit. I’m ready to explode there and then. My nervous system zings celebratory messages through my entire body, and between my legs, I’m pulsing madly. I just hope he gets there soon. But I also hope it never ends.
‘Your body is so fucking beautiful,’ he huffs. ‘These nipples are like fucking candy. And I love how responsive you are. I love how easily I can get you off with my fingers.’
I stare at him through a haze of lust, my breath growing jagged as he keeps up the pressure.
‘But I really wanna get you off with my tongue.’ He releases my nipples and scoots further down the bed.
His hands go to the inside of my knees and my legs fall open.
He stops with his face inches from me and he plain stares, and for some reason that feels so intimate, even though this is one of my body parts he’s seen plenty of recently.
‘So beautiful.’ He blows softly between my legs, and the unexpected chill on my most exposed, needy parts makes my bundle of nerves down there cry out louder.
And then he closes the gap between us and puts his tongue on me.
Hot.
Taut.
Deliberate.
His thumbs rake down my inner thighs.
His tongue tests my entrance.
And he buries his nose in me.
Holy hell.
‘I could die like this. Inhaling you. Tasting you.’ His breath is hot now. ‘You are. Fucking. Intoxicating.’
His words send a wave of desire over me: a wave that grows stronger as he teases me with his tongue. Adding a finger. Then another. And another, so I’m filled up inside as he takes care of the outside.
His fingers move in powerful jabs.
His tongue is on me.
Flicking insistently.
Firmly. So firmly, it’s almost painful.
But not quite. It’s perfect. It’s fucking perfect.
The intensity of his mouth on me and his fingers in me builds and builds and builds.
He doesn’t let up.
He’s lulling me into a state where all I can focus on is the friction of his tongue and the pressure of his fingers and the dirty little groans he’s making, low in his throat.
Flick. Flick. Flick.
Push. Push. Push.
My legs tense. My abs tense. My jaw juts out in the effort to ride this wave Josh has created in my body.
I reach up for my nipples and pinch. Press. Roll.
And it’s too much.
I’m conscious that my moans, my whimpers, have turned to outright cries.
Josh amps up the torturous, teasing laps of his tongue. His fingers crook inside me. And I break.
I soar, heat flooding my body in shockwaves that ripple all the way out to my fingers and toes, and I writhe. Arch. Push into Josh. I abandon my nipples and I dig my fingers into his hair. Grabbing at it. Pulling him closer to me as my body unravels and unravels and spools into nothingness.
Holy fucking shit.
I lie there, hands in Josh’s hair, trying to regulate my breathing as I come down. He presses a sweet kiss to my most sensitive spot and makes his way up my body. His smile is a little triumphant, as well it should be—the boy did good—but mostly, it’s awed.
He lowers himself down on top of me, and his weight is a delicious antidote to the overstimulation he’s just delivered. I wrap my arms and legs around him as he strokes my hair back off my face. His erection is huge and hard between us. I need him inside me immediately.
‘I could have done that forever.’
‘I’ll hold you to that.’ I can barely speak.
‘You are addictive.’
‘Uh-oh. Says the addict.’
‘Seriously.’ He kisses down the side of my neck, from my earlobe to my collarbone. ‘It’s not good.’
‘It seems like a pretty good situation for me.’ I smile smugly at him and manage to roll us over so he’s on his back and I’m on top of him.
I haul myself up onto my knees—it’s not my most graceful moment, but my body feels like it’s been hit by a sex-truck—and take him in my hand.
His dick jolts at my touch, and Josh inhales sharply through his teeth.
I raise my bum off my heels so I can position myself right on top of him and slide his slick wetness against mine.
He groans and his eyes roll back. His hands slide up my thighs. ‘Holy shit, baby. Wait—lemme get a condom.’ He goes to get up, and I put a hand on his chest.
‘It’s okay. We don’t need one.’ I feel oddly shy saying it.
He stares. ‘Really? You mean that?’
‘Yeah. I’m on the pill, because I have no intention of perpetuating your gene pool. No offence. And I had a check-up before filming started. And you’re a born-again virgin, basically, so…’
I trail off. Watch for his reaction. And it’s excellent. A slow grin spreads over his face and his eyes, which are practically all pupil, crinkle at me.
‘So, because I’ve been a good boy, I get to take you bare?’
He’s far too adorable for his own good.
‘Exactly.’ I’m still stroking myself with him, and I am so ready to push down, engulf his thickness with my body. So ready.
‘In that case… wait.’
He gets up on his elbows and scoots back all the way to the headboard.
Plumps up a pillow and sits back against it.
He’s such a sight. Honestly. His hard, tanned body sprawled out in front of me.
He has his dick in his hand, and his other arm behind his head.
Smiling at me. Waiting for me. I mean, come on.
This whole pose he has going on is so ridiculously hot. He can’t be real. Can he?
I may snigger, just a tiny bit.
‘Come here.’ He lets go of his dick for a second and crooks a finger at me. ‘What are you laughing at? Should I be offended?’
I bite my lip. ‘I was just thinking how many millions of women—and men—would kill to see you right now. And how, if I posted a picture of you like this, we’d definitely break the internet.’
He shakes his head at me. ‘Remind me to confiscate your phone next time so I don’t get sex-taped. You coming over here, or are you chicken?’
He raises his eyebrows at me and pumps himself slowly with his hand. Oh, dear Lord. My eyes are on literal stilts.
‘Not chicken.’
I scoot up the bed on my knees, and he curls a leisurely arm around my arse, pulling me to him. He’s not grinning anymore, and I feel my smile fade too as he crushes my breasts to his chest. I can feel his heart banging against me as he closes the gap between our mouths.
‘It’s just the two of us,’ he whispers, ‘and there is not a fucking thing on this planet I want more than that.’
I’m conscious of every tiny detail.
The heat of his breath in my mouth as he says that.
The light chafing effect his chest hair has on my nipples, which are hardening again.
The leisurely glide of his hand as he cups under my bum and pulls me up.
The deliberation with which I reach between us and get hold of him, and God, he’s so glorious.
His low groan as I position him at my entrance, bare flesh against bare flesh, and his head enters me.
The sheer intimacy of being forehead to forehead and nose to nose with him as we gaze deep into each other’s eyes and I sink down onto him.
Holy hell, it feels amazing. Even more amazing than the previous times, and not just because there’s no condom between us. The condom isn’t the only barrier we’ve dropped tonight. The walls I’ve put up are coming tumbling down.
I roll my hips until he’s bottomed out, as deep inside me as is possible in this position, with my knees against the headboard. Josh sighs and cups my face with the hand that’s not on my bum, and the world outside could not exist for all I care.
It’s just us.
The play of his lips on mine.
The rise and fall of our chests against each other.
The feeling of true completeness that comes from being filled up with him.
I allow myself to stay lost in those rich brown eyes of his as I slowly push myself up, so he’s barely inside me, before sliding down, and God, that feeling of taking him back in again is so incredible that my face breaks into a smile.
‘So good,’ I tell him.
‘Wait till I’m actually doing some work.
’ He brushes my lip and allows me to play with him a few more times, slipping off him and filling myself back up.
He can’t really thrust in this position, so I’m not surprised when he holds me tight and leans forward so I’m falling backwards onto the bed and he’s crouched on top of me.
Gazing down at me.
Framing my head with his forearms.
Grinning that dirty grin that tells me I’m in the very best kind of trouble.
He slides a hand under my knee and puts it on his shoulder. Same for the other one. ‘I wanna be as deep inside you as I can,’ he whispers.
And all I can do is lie there and give him my best, laziest, most inviting smile because I want the exact same thing.
Josh moving inside me, at this angle, with both of us naked, wipes the smile off my face pretty quickly, because my overwhelm is building.
Not just my physical overwhelm, although the friction and the pressure of feeling him buried deep within my body causes my breath to hitch with every thrust, but emotional overwhelm, too.
Because we’re stripped bare, and he’s looking at me with a whole world of emotion shining in those eyes of his, and it’s almost too much.
He’s hitting the perfect spot inside me, a spot that makes my body ache with pleasure, and as he moves, I can’t help but make sounds that tell him how perfect every thrust is.
How intense the friction is. How much I’m feeling right now, in my mind and in my body and in my heart.
I’m getting closer, and closer, and Josh is too; it’s in the way he bites down on his lip and tenses his jaw. It’s in the way the fingers stroking my hair begin to shudder.
‘I’m nearly there.’ I pant out the words. ‘God, Josh. God. I’m—’
He surges forward, burying himself deep in me. And that move has my body spiralling into a state of molten bliss for a second time, heat rushing through my insides and sparks dancing on my skin as he follows me over the edge and into oblivion.