Chapter Thirteen Ashley #2
Jake sits up abruptly. “Hang on, let’s get one thing straight.
Leaving was his choice. You didn’t tie him up, put him in the car, and force him to come here.
So don’t you take that guilt. Plus, he had plenty of opportunities to tell you he wasn’t happy here.
That’s all on him.” It’s as though Jake’s voice becomes a growl every time he talks about Jeremy.
“And that’s why that call from him begging for a job and that he wants to come back to you here was just pure bullshit.
He was just using you as a last resort because he was desperate. ”
“Maybe so, but I still won’t ask you to move here just for me, because I will be constantly living with the fear that you will eventually leave like he did.” There is something about Jake that makes me comfortable enough to lay my true feelings and fears out between us.
“I understand how you feel, and I agree. I don’t think you should ever do something so major as to pick up your whole life and move it for someone else.
That’s something you need to do for yourself.
But that’s not to say your priorities and future can’t change direction because of someone in your life.
” His hand settles on my hip and just that simple gesture calms me.
“Did I love my life in Sacramento? Yes. But things change, and I came here to help Gran and give myself time to sort some things out. Since I’ve been here, things have changed a bit.
For one thing Sacramento doesn’t hold me like it once did.
One of the reasons I thought I needed to go back there vanished the moment I met you.
And while I’m not sure what my future looks like anymore, leaving temporarily was what I needed to do.
My life there is complicated. I spent all day thinking about it, and right now my biggest question is, could I stay here and make a living as a builder? That’s the unknown right now.”
My heart skips a beat at the thought he’s even contemplating staying here, but almost immediately, I squash it down.
Both of us take a few minutes to absorb what each of us has laid out. Really search the soul of the other person. We look so deeply into each other’s eyes to see if we can discover what we need in that soul to feel comfortable in any decision we make.
“Ash.” Jake’s husky voice breaks the silence. “All I’m asking from you right now is to give me a chance to discover where my life is heading. And I know that’s a lot.”
His hand moves to cup my cheek, and I can’t help but lean into it, rubbing against his rough hand.
“But what I can tell you is that there is a very large organ in my chest that wants you to be a major part of whatever life I decide on.” He lets go of my face, taking my hand in his and pressing it so hard over his heart that I can feel it beating strongly against my palm like a promise.
“I want that too,” I whisper, hoping like hell I’m not going to regret this. “Because as hard as I’ve tried to resist it, you’ve managed to work your way into my heart.”
Our bodies fall into each other, and the rawness of our kiss seals the choices we are about to make, which our hearts already knew long before we were willing to accept it.
“So about earlier, I’m now officially asking you to be my girlfriend.” Jake laughs as we break apart breathlessly.
“Jeez, Jake, we aren’t in high school. But if it makes you feel better, yes, you can call me your girlfriend, as long as you don’t go making it a big deal.”
And before I can say any more, he jumps up, standing at the front of the blanket with his arms outstretched, yelling, “Ashley Alleyne is my girlfriend!” He makes so much noise that all the animals join in, and, of course, Herb is braying loudest of all.
“See, they’re all happy about it too.” He turns back to look at me, face flushed, eyes glowing.
Pushing myself up into a sitting position, I watch him carrying on, and I don’t think I’ve been this happy and relaxed with anyone in a long time. Just letting go and having fun.
“You know, if you’re my boyfriend, then you have to make friends with all of them.” I laugh, nodding to the noisy barn.
Jake stops his craziness and looks at me.
“The deal we made was that I would tolerate having animals in my life, and you would come hiking in the woods with me. So, gorgeous, guess where we’re going on your first day off.
And I can’t wait.” He reaches out for my hand, and the moment I place mine in his, I’m being lifted off the ground and into his arms. “Pack your swimsuit and I’ll take you swimming at the base of the waterfall. You’ll love it.”
“That’s debatable, but a deal is a deal.” Wrapping my arms around his neck and rising onto my toes, I whisper into his ear, “What if I don’t own a swimsuit?”
“Even better. Skinny-dipping in the water hole is a great fucking idea.” He smiles, kissing me on the tip of my nose. “But an even better idea is that we get naked right now. We have something worth celebrating.”
Lifting my feet from the ground, Jake twirls us around in circles, and I’m in fits of laughter at his playfulness. I don’t know if he was just in the throes of grief when I first met him, or if being around me is bringing it out more. Either way, I like it a lot.
He starts carrying me toward the house when I ask, “Wait, what about our picnic?”
“I’ll clean up later,” he replies without stopping.
“Not a chance! Unless you want to deal with a drunk goat when she finishes off the Moscato.” I’m giggling now.
“That damn goat! Seriously, I don’t know how I’m expected to be friends with such a pest,” Jake complains as he places me down and marches back to clear up.
“Welcome to farm life, Jake. If you want me, you get all of them too.” I wave my hands toward the barn. “We come as a package deal.”
I hear him mumbling as he passes by and heads up the porch stairs to the house. “I think I’d rather have ten kids.”
“I assume you mean the human variety,” I call after him as the screen door on the house slams, and I can hear him stomping down the hallway to the kitchen.
But it’s good to know that children are something he’s receptive to. It’s probably another conversation we need to have, but I think we have broached enough big emotions for one night.
There’s always tomorrow.
Jake
“That’s two nights in a row you’ve been sneaking in after midnight. Whatever will the neighbors think you’ve been out doing? Oh, that’s right, it’s the neighbor you were doing.” Chase looks up at me from the book he’s reading, sitting on the couch we have in the little living room in the barn.
“Hilarious as usual.” I drop down next to him.
“And if I had my way, I wouldn’t be here.
I’d still be over there in the neighbor’s bed, but she got a work call.
” As much as I don’t trust Beau, I can’t wait for him to start taking over some of the night callouts and weekend shifts.
Then I can get Ash to myself with no interruptions.
“Must be a hard life, being a vet,” Chase replies, putting his book down.
“Yeah, but she loves it, and from what I’ve already worked out, the town loves her too. She’s an amazing vet.” I rest my head on the back of the couch.
“Seems to me it’s not just the town in love with her.” Chase smirks at me.
“Not there yet, but I’m definitely falling harder than I was expecting.” I’m surprised that admitting it to Chase doesn’t scare me as much as I thought it would.
“Oh crap, I wasn’t anticipating that answer, but good for you, man.” Chase pushes himself up off the couch. “I’m going to hit the hay for the night. And just a heads-up for tomorrow, Gran is calling a family meeting, so don’t make any plans with Ashley.”
“Should I be worried about what this meeting is about?” I stand up too, because it’s late and I could use some sleep. Great sex will do that to a man.
“How would I know? I’m just delivering the message. Night,” he calls over his shoulder as he disappears into his room and closes the door.
Standing in the silence for a moment, I consider taking a shower, but weirdly, I’m not ready to wash Ashley off me just yet. So I head to my room, strip, and fall into my bed with a warm feeling in my chest that I know Ashley put there.
I’ve got a lot of thinking to do, because I don’t want to fuck this up with her.
And that’s when I hear Gramps’s voice in my head.
Whenever he was teaching me anything, he would say, “Don’t rush this, that’s when mistakes happen.
If you take your time to think it through, then the whole thing will turn out perfect.
So slow down and stop trying to get over the finish line when you are just beginning the race.
” It was usually in relation to a woodworking project in this very barn, but I’m starting to understand that so many of his words were meant for more than just a moment; they were life lessons.
Gramps may not have his feet in his old work boots anymore, but he’s still here walking among us.
“Thanks, Gramps, I’m listening. Love you,” I whisper as I turn out the bedside lamp and shut my eyes.
Kicking off my boots at the front door of the house, I wander inside for dinner before our “board meeting” as Gran calls it.
“Smells good in here. What’s on the menu?” I walk over to Gran, who’s at the stove and stirring what looks like meatballs—Gramps’s favorite meal.
“Meatballs, roasted vegetables, and mashed potato.” She doesn’t look up, but I notice the little quiver in her voice. One of Gran’s love languages with Gramps was always food, so I understand how hard this is for her.
“It’s been a while since we had meatballs around here.” Placing my arm on her shoulder, I give her a little squeeze.