Chapter Two #2
He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move. When Cameron’s lips ghosted across his nape, he shuddered. Memories assaulted him once again, unbidden, unwanted. He remembered another set of lips, thin and dry, brushing over his skin as they whispered beautiful lies.
“Shit. ”
The voice in his ear wasn’t the one he’d expected to hear. Asher jerked at the sound of it as air rushed from his lungs in a nearly silent gasp.
“I’m sorry.” The arms around his waist loosened, and the warmth at his back vanished. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
Asher didn’t want to think anymore, either. He didn’t want to remember the things he remembered. He didn’t want to worry about the next week, the next day, or even the next hour.
He just wanted to turn his mind off and feel .
Spinning around, he grabbed Cameron’s face, pushing him roughly against the shower wall as he slanted their mouths together. The kiss was sloppy and unskilled, borne of desperation and a savage, selfish need to purge himself of the past.
Leaning more heavily against him, holding him immobile, he plunged his tongue between Cameron’s lips, hard and searching.
He didn’t know exactly what the question was, only that Cameron Stone was the answer.
Yet, he wasn’t soothed this time. The anxiety didn’t abate.
He kissed him harder, almost painfully, but his heart still raced, and his mind still spun with uninvited thoughts.
Frustrated, he tore his mouth away and dropped his brow to the smooth stones beside Cameron’s head, hating himself for…
well, everything. He hated that he’d dragged Cameron into this clusterfuck.
Hated that he was too weak to walk away, even when he knew he should.
He hated the mockery of a kiss they’d just shared, and he fucking loathed himself for thinking he could use Cameron as a goddamn distraction in the first place.
A gentle hand pressed against the side of his face, urging his head around until his gaze locked with a pair of intense blue eyes. Without saying a word, Cameron slid his hand from Asher’s face to his arm and steered him toward the built-in granite bench on the adjacent wall.
“Cameron, I—”
“Hush.” Taking the shampoo from the corner shelf, he poured some into his palm, then began working it through Asher’s wet hair. “Let me take care of you for a little bit.”
Asher didn’t need someone to take care of him. He didn’t need to be coddled or cajoled like a child. He’d been looking out for himself for a long time— thank you very fucking much— and sure, he’d had a momentary loss of control, but he was fine .
The words were on the tip of his tongue, the impulse to lash out so close to the surface he could taste it, but he bit it back and took deep breaths through his nose. None of this was Cameron’s fault, and he deserved a hell of a lot better than some asshole taking out his bad mood on him.
“I already told you I’m not going anywhere,” Cameron said, his nimble fingers massaging Asher’s scalp from temples to nape .
For a moment, Asher thought he’d completely lost hold of reality and had given voice to his uncharitable thoughts. “I didn’t—”
“No, you didn’t. Not out loud, but I know you want to.
” He retrieved the hand-held shower attachment, then moved closer, insinuating himself between Asher’s splayed legs so he could rinse the suds from his hair.
“Your first instinct is always to push me away, tell me to leave. You can if you want, but I just wanted to remind you that it won’t work. ”
A lump formed in Asher’s throat, and his vision blurred, his eyes prickling at the corners.
God, he didn’t deserve this man. He’d known it from the moment they’d met, but selfishly, he’d pursued him anyway.
If he had even a shred of decency, he’d end things right there before he ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him.
But he couldn’t do it.
He was too selfish, and he needed Cameron too damn much.
Gripping Cameron’s hips, he tugged him closer, bowing his head so that his brow rested in the center of Cameron’s chest. “I don’t want you to leave.” He brushed his lips over the soft skin, inching his way toward one of the pebbled nipples. “You know that, right?”
“Yes,” Cameron gasped, arching against him. “I know. ”
The doubt and uncertainty, the fear and frustration all seemed to coalesce into an emotion he finally understood. Lust.
“Stay with me.” He scraped his teeth over Cameron’s erect nipple. “I need you to stay with me.”
“I will.” Cameron’s entire body trembled as he swayed closer. “I promise.”
Half-rising from the bench, Asher forced him backward, pressing him into the wall again before lowering himself to his knees. The river rocks dug into his skin, making the joints ache, but any discomfort was quelled when Cameron closed his eyes and exhaled a quiet, breathy moan.
His swollen length jutted from a nest of trimmed curls, the plum-shaped crown a deep purple and leaking from the slit.
Asher grunted appreciatively, his own cock hard and proud between his thighs.
With one hand still on Cameron’s hip, anchoring him to the wall, he stroked the other down his quivering abdominal muscles, then traced the shallow V at his groin.
Closing his eyes, Cameron tilted his head back, his breaths coming quick and shallow.
“No,” Asher demanded, wrapping his hand around the base of Cameron’s erection and giving it a firm squeeze. “Look at me.”
Cameron’s eyes popped open immediately, and he bucked into Asher’s fist with a sharp gasp .
“That’s it.” He slid his hand down the length and twisted it around the crown. “Keep your eyes on me.”
God, he loved seeing Cameron like this. Loved watching him come unraveled, seeing him let go of the control he clung so tightly to the rest of the time.
Holding Cameron’s stare, he glided his hand slowly back down to the base, smirking at the glassy, dazed look in his eyes.
He kept his touch light, teasing, giving Cameron just enough to drive him crazy, but not really providing the friction he obviously wanted.
Dipping his head, he nuzzled the crease of Cameron’s thigh, skimming his nose along the smooth skin as he inhaled the heady scent of him deep into his lungs.
His mouth watered as his own cock jerked with interest. Desperate for a taste, he held Cameron’s erection upright and laved a wet line along the underside of his pulsing shaft.
A high-pitched whine spilled from Cameron’s lips when Asher swirled his tongue around the flared head, then pressed it flat to the tip, lapping at the moisture that beaded from his slit.
He took his time, driving Cameron crazy with barely-there touches and featherlight brushes of his lips. He cupped Cameron’s heavy sack in his palm, massaging his balls with the same gentle attention he’d shown his cock.
When Cameron was panting and squirming, trembling from head to toe, Asher finally leaned in and wrapped his lips around the head. Cameron moaned and bowed away from the wall, pushing his dick deeper into Asher’s mouth. He stilled almost at once, and his mumbled apology filled the enclosed space.
Asher didn’t want his apology, though. He didn’t want his consideration.
With a tap to Cameron’s hip, he encouraged him to move, to take what he needed.
There was a moment of hesitation, then long fingers slid into his hair, holding him still as Cameron fed his cock through Asher’s lips until he nudged against the back of his throat.
Asher relaxed and breathed through his nose, swallowing around the bulbous crown.
The loud cry he received in response was music to his ears.
A vein pulsed against Asher’s tongue, the hard flesh hot and heavy inside his mouth.
He hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard, careful to keep his teeth covered as he dragged his lips back up the shaft.
Cameron rocked his hips, pushing into Asher’s mouth in quick, shallow thrusts as unintelligible sounds echoed through the room. It didn’t take them long to find a rhythm, and even less time for that rhythm to falter as Cameron neared the pinnacle.
Fisting his own cock, Asher stroked himself hard and fast as Cameron used his mouth, pistoning past his lips in rough, erratic thrusts. Asher moaned approvingly, his balls aching for release.
Wanting to see Cameron’s face, needing to watch him fall over the edge, Asher tilted his head and looked up. The instant their eyes met, Cameron gasped, his hips jerked, and a torrent of salty cream flooded Asher’s mouth. Asher drank him down greedily, milking him of every drop.
When he’d completely spent himself, instead of leaning back against the wall to catch his breath as Asher had expected, Cameron lowered to the floor in front of him.
Gripping the back of Asher’s neck, he pulled him into a hard kiss, his tongue slipping between his panting lips to lick inside his mouth.
Asher’s hand was batted away, and Cameron’s fist closed around his throbbing cock, massaging him with quick, deft strokes.
“Come for me,” Cameron murmured against his lips. “Come for me, Asher.”
That was all it took, just that one, softly whispered command. Dropping his head to Cameron’s shoulder, Asher groaned, his entire body shaking as his balls emptied onto the shower floor between his knees.
Limp and sated, he brushed his lips up the side of Cameron’s neck, lingering near the curve of his jaw, then pressed their mouths together tenderly.
“Everything will be okay,” Cameron said, stroking Asher’s wet hair back from his face. “You’ll get through this.”
“We,” Asher corrected. “ We will get through this.”
The smile he received brightened even the darkest parts of his heart. “That’s right,” Cameron agreed, leaning in to rub their lips together again. “We will get through this.”