Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
A my shifted from one foot to the other. “We got interrupted earlier, so I thought we could start the conversation all over.”
Lucas exhaled. “Have you changed your mind about coming back?”
Amy dug her nails into her palms and stepped out of the kitchen. In her room, she paused to shut the door and lean against it. The phone felt cold and impersonal against her ear. “Sweetheart, I know you think that’s going to help, but it really isn’t. Your father and I have had problems for years. I know this seems sudden to both of you, but it’s been a long time coming.”
And she really didn’t want to go into any specifics.
Not with her kids, of all people.
Lucas and Sylvie deserved to be as far removed from all of this as possible.
But more and more, she was beginning to realize she couldn’t protect them from any of it, not any more than she could protect herself. Eric’s ego and pride were clouding his judgment and making him want to dismantle and pick apart everything, and she worried about what would end up as collateral damage.
After another phone call with her lawyer that morning, Amy was beginning to realize just how far he was willing to go.
It shouldn’t surprise her he wasn’t taking any of it well.
Even his emails, messages, and voicemails were coming more and more frequently. A few times a day, whenever her phone buzzed, Amy steeled herself for the barrage of insults and threats. Other times, she tried to ignore her phone and pretend like it didn’t exist.
Like Eric and his drama didn’t matter.
But even in Falmouth, she felt him, trying to seep everywhere and spread his poison.
“We just don’t get it, Mom,” Sylvie admitted in an even voice. “Why didn’t you talk to us about any of this? I mean, you sent us an email to let us know you were leaving.”
Amy perched on the edge of her bed. “Because I knew, if I heard your voices, I’d never be able to leave, and I had to go.”
Continuing to live in that house with Eric was slowly killing her, and something about Lily’s letters had brought that into focus for her.
Without her tainted, rose-colored glasses, Amy was seeing everything more clearly. Since walking away from Eric, she felt lighter and freer, like everything weighing her down didn’t exist anymore, and she owed her stepdaughter so much for blazing her own path first. Without Lily lighting the way up for her, Amy had no idea what she would’ve done.
Or if she would’ve ever plucked up the courage to leave.
“Look, Mom, we know you and Lily are close, and maybe you were influenced by her leaving and starting over or whatever, but this isn’t you,” Lucas replied after a lengthy pause. “You’re not Lily.”
Amy stood and wandered over to the dresser. “I need you two to know that this isn’t about you. There are certain aspects of my life with your father I’m not going to share, and I need you to be okay with it.”
“Dad already told us everything,” Sylvie revealed. “He’s really heartbroken, Mom. I’m sure if you saw him—”
“Your father is a resilient man,” Amy interrupted a little too quickly. “He’ll survive.”
“What if he doesn’t? What if he really does want to change, and you’re not even giving him a chance?”
“Please, Mom. We just want you to think about coming back,” Lucas added in a softer voice. “That’s all we want.”
“I need you two to listen,” Amy said, her voice catching toward the end. “He’s going to try his best to vilify me, to make it seem like I’m this awful human being who never cared about family, and I want you to know that none of that is true.”
“Mom—”
“You two are smart, kind, and capable individuals,” Amy continued, her heart beating faster now. “I need you to see through the lies and the smear campaign.”
He was playing her children like a fiddle, and they were eating up every word.
Why couldn’t they see the truth?
And why was she so reluctant to unmask him for the cruel and heartless person he was?
Stooping to his level would make things much, much easier for her, but she still didn’t want to do it.
So, she spent the rest of the phone call skirting around their questions and reiterating the same statements. Eventually, Sylvie was the first to hang up, the sound of clattering keys never once letting up. Lucas followed soon after, and Amy was left alone to the mercy of her own thoughts. After a quick phone call with Lily, Amy stepped out of her room and made a beeline for the kitchen.
She’d been staring at the same empty spot on the counter when the doorbell rang. When she swung it open, revealing a red-faced Lily in running pants and shoes, with her bright yellow shirt clinging to her skin and wisps of hair escaping from her low ponytail, Amy did a double take.
“What are you doing here?”
“I heard how upset you were on the phone,” Lily replied, pausing to shift from one foot to the other. She pulled out her earphones and shoved them into their box. “And I was nearby, running with a potential client, so I thought I’d stop by.”
“You didn’t have to bring the meeting to an end on my account,” Amy protested with a frown. “I’m fine, really. I was just talking to Sylvie and Lucas.”
“Sabrina was telling me she’s thinking of opening up another branch of the spa here.” Lily shifted from one foot to the other and offered Amy a bright smile. “But she’s got some competition. I’ve got some time on my hands, and Sabrina and I are thinking of going into business together. So, I’ll be coming down every so often to get a better feel for the town and whether or not people would be open to another spa and wellness center. I was going to go scope out the competition right now. How would you feel about coming with me?”
Amy hesitated and then nodded.
With one last look at Lily, Amy darted inside to change into a comfortable pair of pants and a shirt. She stuffed her keys, wallet, and phone into a purse and came back out. Lily was still in the doorway, chatting with her aunt, when Amy made a beeline for her. In silence, the two of them stepped out into the midmorning sun and began to walk, with Lily leading the way.
They walked past rows and rows of houses until they reached the center of Falmouth, with brightly colored signs and the smell of baked goods lingering in the air. Then, Lily led them down a quieter, cobblestoned path that opened onto a narrow, residential street. A blue-colored door rose to meet them, and Lily gave a quick rap.
A woman in black pants, a green shirt, and perfectly coiffed red hair answered the door. She led them down a dimly lit hallway, which opened into a sitting area with hardwood floors, a set of leather couches, and a cascading waterfall in one corner. A group of similarly dressed women sat behind a circular-shaped desk. After a quick conversation, during which Amy kept peeking at her phone, the two of them were led into a tile-floored changing room with loud vents and rows of lockers.
Reluctantly, Amy left her things there and gripped the key.
“So, do you want to tell me more about the conversation with Lucas and Sylvie?” Lily waited outside the changing room while Amy pulled on a pair of disposable underwear and a bra. Then, she tightened the sash of the fluffy white robe and stepped out, her slippers making a low clattering sound.
Amy sighed as Lily looped her arm through hers. “I don’t know what there is to tell. They aren’t happy about the divorce.”
“It’s okay for them not to be.”
Together, the two of them stepped out of the changing rooms and were taken into a room with rows of sinks attached to comfortable-looking leather chairs. Lily sat down first, and a woman immediately materialized to wash her hair. After a brief pause, Amy sat down next to her, and a petite dark-haired woman appeared with a set of towels and a bowl for Amy’s feet.
“I know, but now they’re making me question whether I’ve given it any thought,” Amy responded, sighing when the woman began to scrub the soles of her cracked feet. “I didn’t want to give myself a chance to change my mind.”
“Because you were afraid you’d talk yourself out of it?”
“Exactly, and I told them that…”
“I know Lucas and Sylvie can be a little caught up in their own worlds, but they mean well.” Lily had her eyes squeezed shut and her head tilted back while a woman massaged her scalp. “I’m sure it’ll be easier to talk to them once they’ve had a chance to process it.”
Amy tried to relax, to enjoy the feeling of being pampered, but she couldn’t.
She kept wondering what would happen if they couldn’t make their peace with things.
What happened to their relationship if neither Lucas nor Sylvie understood?
Was she lying to herself to try and give them better odds?
“I can feel how loud your thoughts are,” Lily teased. “I know none of this is easy for you, but you have to try and focus on what you can control.”
Amy ran a hand over her face. “I never thought I’d be starting over at my age. I really didn’t. I thought I’d made my peace with everything.”
Lily leaned forward and twisted so she was looking at Amy directly. “I’m sorry.”
Amy’s brows furrow together. “What are you apologizing for? You didn’t do anything.”
Lily shook her head. “I sent you those letters, and I kept encouraging you to leave… I didn’t mean to disrupt your life.”
Amy took both of Lily’s hands in hers and squeezed. “You didn’t disrupt anything. You helped me open my eyes to how miserable I was. Change is hard, sure, but so is standing still.”
Lily nodded.
“The support group Emily recommended has really been helping,” Amy continued with a smile. “I wasn’t sure about it at first, but it helps to know I’m not the only one struggling.”
Lily offered her a gentle smile. “I’m sure. And divorce is hard, but it isn’t the worst thing in the world.”
Amy gave Lily’s hands another squeeze before releasing them. “I know.”
“You’re going to get through this,” Lily continued after a brief pause. “I know it might not seem like it now, but you will.”
Amy held Lily’s gaze as she tilted her head back and allowed warm water to seep through her scalp. A woman began to wash and lather, and the smell of citrus and honey soon filled the air.
For the rest of their day together, Amy was distracted, turning Lily’s words over and over in her head.
On the one hand, she knew if she went back, there would be no leaving.
Not ever again.
Having been duped once, Amy doubted Eric would leave something like that up to chance, and short of locking her up in a room and throwing away the key, she knew he’d do whatever he needed to do to keep her from leaving.
On the other hand, going back also meant getting her children back—wholly and completely. Because they were struggling to understand her actions now, a part of her wondered if she held the answers to all of their problems.
Including keeping her good name from being tainted.
After years together, Amy wanted to believe a peace offering would soothe Eric, but she knew better than to hope. Still, the tiny seed of doubt inside of her blossomed and grew, and it remained until Lily walked her back to Aunt Ashley’s house, got into her car, and drove off.
Alone with her thoughts again, Amy sat down in her room, picked up her phone, and stared at Eric’s name.
She stared at it for so long that she didn’t notice the world outside change colors as the sun dipped below the horizon. In the end, it was Ashley’s voice that brought her back to the present with a jolt, coupled with the smell of garlic and ginger.
Sighing, Amy tossed her phone onto the bed and hurried into the dining room, where Ashley and Jude were already waiting for her.
All through a dinner of green salad, steaming hot pasta with tomato sauce, and grilled chicken, Amy snuck glances at them and wondered what it would be like to have a loving relationship like that, one where the man smiled at her and complimented her and looked at her like she was his whole world. Ashley seemed like a young woman in love as she patted Jude’s hand and kept filling up his plate with food.
It filled Amy with a strange yearning, the kind she hadn’t thought of in years.
It was too late for her and Eric, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t set a good example for her kids.
Amy had to believe it was all going to work out in the end.
What other choice did she have?