Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
“ E verything smells so good today.” Jack flashed her a smile and shifted from one foot to the other. “Any chance you’ve still got some of those custard croissants?”
Emily stood, and her heart gave an odd little flutter when she held Jack’s gaze. “You’ve got to be here at like eight in the morning for those.”
Jack’s face fell. “Oh, come on. Are you telling me that knowing the owner doesn’t get me any perks?”
“Most of the people who live here know me,” Emily said with a laugh. “I still can’t control the morning rush.”
Jack frowned. “What if I praised your baking some more?”
Emily’s stomach filled with butterflies. “I’m always happy to hear people are enjoying my treats.”
“So, in other words, I’d better stick to teaching?”
Emily’s smile grew so wide that it made the rest of her mouth hurt. “I think it would be better for everyone involved.”
Jack exhaled. “I need to work on my flattering.”
Emily said nothing as the two of them stepped to the side, allowing Jack to peer at the goods on display. While his eyes scanned everything, Emily found herself unable to look away. Everything from the way he dressed to the way he smelled stirred something within her.
Something she hadn’t felt since the accident that claimed Trevor’s life years ago.
But she couldn’t possibly be drawn to Jack.
The romantic part of her life was over, and she had no interest in revisiting it.
She couldn’t.
What’s the matter with you? Why can’t you stop thinking about him? He’s just being nice.
The bell above the front door rang, and a group of teenagers stepped in, reeking of coffee and sweat. Together, the four of them huddled together and kept sneaking glances at the glass display. When they looked over at her, Emily gave them her most welcoming smile, but they didn’t return it.
“I can’t decide,” Jack said with a defeated sag of his shoulders. “Everything is so good that I’ve had to start walking to school just to keep the extra weight off.”
Emily placed a hand on her hips. “It sounds like you should be thanking me.”
Jack chuckled. “Well, yes. Now that I think about it, maybe I should. In more ways than one. I’ve been wanting to tell you how much I enjoyed your speech the other day.”
Emily’s brows furrowed together. “Speech?”
Jack made a vague hand gesture. “What you said the other day during support group. About how everyone’s grief timeline is different, and people shouldn’t compare because there’s no one size fits all.”
Emily blinked, and color crept up her neck and cheeks. “I had no idea you were listening so intently.”
Jack’s answering smile made the butterflies in her stomach erupt into a frenzy. “I love listening to your take on things. I think you’ve got a unique perspective on life.”
Emily’s face turned hotter. “Thank you. I feel the same—”
“There you are. Sorry to interrupt. I need your advice on something.” Amy appeared, gave Jack an apologetic smile, and covered her phone with her hand. “It’s about Eric.”
Emily motioned to one of the other employees and took off her apron.
As soon as she stepped out from behind the counter, Amy motioned to the booth in the back, where she sat. Emily sat down opposite Amy, her heart giving an odd little twinge when Jack gave her a half smile. Then, Amy sat down, the phone still cradled between her neck and shoulder. She covered it again and ran a hand over her face.
Amy placed her cup and muffin on the table and exhaled. “I don’t know what I should do. Eric is demanding I sign the NDA before he’ll sign the divorce papers.”
Emily linked her fingers together and frowned. “Didn’t your lawyer say that they’re circling the wagons?”
Amy exhaled. “He is, but he’s not going down without a fight. And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life lying to my kids. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell them the whole truth, but I want it to be my choice.”
Emily’s frown deepened. “Can’t your lawyer counter with anything?”
Amy’s expression lit up. “Yes, I—yes, hello? I’m still here. You’re still cutting off.”
Abruptly, she stood and offered Emily an apologetic smile. After pulling on her coat, she took a few bills out of her purse and handed them to Emily directly. Then, she darted out of the bakery, and Emily saw her through the windows, raking her fingers through her hair. Amy paced back and forth for so long that Emily considered stepping outside to check on her.
It had been a tumultuous few days since the meeting in the city.
And Emily couldn’t help but feel like Amy was still struggling to wrap her head around it, as if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Given everything Emily knew about Eric Taylor, all from various sources, she couldn’t blame her.
But she hoped her friend’s unease was just because of everything she’d been through.
Amy did, after all, have one of the best lawyers in the city, who came highly recommended.
With a sigh, Emily tucked the money into her apron and stood. She picked up Amy’s half-eaten muffin and her empty cappuccino mug and took them to the back. When she came back out, Jack was sitting at the booth where Amy was, looking out the window. He had a glazed look in his eyes, like he was caught in the throes of memory, making Emily reluctant to interrupt.
Until he tilted his head to the side, looked directly at her, and smiled.
Oh, boy.
Whenever he looked at her like that, Emily lost her train of thought and struggled to remember why being drawn to him was a bad idea.
“Do you want to sit down?” Jack gestured to the booth opposite him. “If you’re not doing anything.”
“Still trying to butter me up?” Emily sat down and ignored the breathlessness in her voice. “I have to admire your persistence.”
Jack tore off a piece of his cookie and shoved it into his mouth. “Thank you. My dad says I got that from my mom. Sometimes, it feels good when people point it out, you know. Other times, being compared to her is hard, like I’m losing her all over again.”
Emily blew out a breath. “I don’t think that feeling ever goes away. I remember reading this book after my hus—after Trevor died—I don’t remember what it was called, but it talked about how recovering from grief is like recovering from a physical wound. It takes time to go from being in survival mode to finding your way to the new normal.”
Jack curled his fingers around his mug and sat back. “New normal… I like that. It makes sense because things really don’t go back to the way they were. No matter how badly you want them to.”
“Things don’t, and people don’t either. I think it’s na?ve to assume otherwise.”
Jack cleared his throat. “When my mom first passed, a lot of people around me just kept expecting me to find my way back to my old self, and I couldn’t find a way to explain to them that he was gone.”
Emily’s chest tightened. “That’s because it’s hard to explain how a part of you dies with them.”
Jack stared at her for so long that Emily thought something was on her face.
Eventually, he leaned forward and set his drink down with an air of finality. “That’s exactly right. I’ve been trying to put it into words… I don’t know how you’re able to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Express yourself so well.” Jack’s eyes were bright and animated as he looked at her, as if he was seeing her for the first time. “And you’re so easy to talk to. I’d love it if we could continue this conversation… Well, it doesn’t have to be so heavy the whole time; we can talk about other things too.”
One of her employees waved Emily over, and she stood. “I’m confused.”
Jack rose to his feet and clasped his hands behind his back. “I’m talking about going out to lunch…or dinner, whatever you prefer. I don’t know how busy your schedule is, but I’m good with either one.”
Emily’s ears were ringing now, and the butterflies in her stomach had erupted into a frenzy. “What?”
She couldn’t have heard him right.
Emily had to be dreaming.
The easy smile didn’t fall from Jack’s face. “I’d love to take you out on a date, Emily.”
Emily blinked, her pulse quickening. Her cheeks were a bright red now, and she was sure Jack was beginning to regret asking her.
Why couldn’t she make her mouth form the words?
Emily sucked in a deep breath and forced her lips into a smile. “Oh, Jack. That’s so sweet, but I—”
“Emily, we need you here.”
Emily jerked at the sound and turned to see several of her employees behind the counter while steam hissed and rose in puffs through the air. The coffee machine made a low buzzing sound, and several of the customers in line looked alarmed. Panic surged through her as Emily pushed her way through the crowd until she reached her employees, who all wore identical expressions of alarm. After unplugging the coffee machine, Emily retrieved a mop and started to clean the liquid dripping steadily onto the floor.
When she was done, she gave all of her customers a tight smile and free beverages.
By the time she remembered Jack and his loaded question, the handsome English teacher was gone, leaving no indication he’d been there to begin with, except for the strange fluttering in her stomach.
Hours later, after closing up for the night, Emily was still turning his question over and over in her head. She was still wondering what to tell him when she saw Charlotte’s car in the driveway and spotted her daughter on the front porch, a large take-out bag placed next to her.
With a smile, Emily got out of the car, and it beeped shut. “I’m so sorry I’m late. We had an emergency at the bakery.”
Charlotte pulled her mother in for a hug and then kissed her on the cheek. “It’s okay. I picked up some Chinese from the take-out place you like.”
Emily’s stomach grumbled at the smell. “You’re my hero.”
Charlotte looped her arm through her mother’s and used her free hand to carry the bag. “Savannah is on rounds tonight, so she’s not going to be able to make it, but she said she’d call when she had a break.”
Emily shoved the key into the lock, and the door clicked open. “We should have a girls’ night soon, just the three of us like we used to do.”
As soon as she stepped inside, Emily flicked the lights on. In silence, she took the bag from Charlotte’s outstretched hand and set it down on the marble kitchen counter overlooking the brown living room set with a fireplace in the center and pictures above the mantelpiece.
“Remember how jealous Dad used to get of our date nights?” Charlotte peeled off her sweater and hung it behind the door. “I used to feel so bad when we’d gang up on him.”
Emily pried the container open, a familiar pang of yearning in her stomach washing over her at the mention of her husband’s name. “I think he handled it pretty well, all things considered.”
Charlotte snorted and leaned against the counter to watch her. “I think so too. Do you ever feel like he’s not really gone? Like he’s just away on one of those seminars or something?”
Emily’s throat turned dry. “All the time.”
Charlotte’s eyes moved steadily over her face. “Do you think that feeling will ever go away?”
Emily pushed herself up on the tips of her toes and retrieved a few plates. “No, I don’t think it will.”
“Do you think you’ll ever date again?”
Emily nearly dropped the plates she was holding. “Okay, that came out of nowhere. Where is this coming from?”
Charlotte shrugged and averted her gaze. “Sav and I were talking, and it can be pretty lonely here all by yourself, so if you wanted to, you know… We just want you to be happy, Mom. You know that, right?”
Emily’s heart was still pounding in her ears. “Yeah, I know. I don’t think I’m ready to date, but thank you, sweetheart.”
Charlotte’s phone rang, interrupting the moment.
Moments later, Savannah’s tired face appeared on the phone screen. Still reeling from her daughter’s line of thought, Emily finished taking out the rest of the food and placed it all in a tray. With a small smile, she carried it into the living room and placed it on the coffee table. For the rest of the night, Emily pushed her food around her plate and tried to focus on the movie playing in the background.
Opposite her, Charlotte sat with her legs tucked underneath her, eyes glued to the TV.
Were her daughters right?
Had she been so fixated on putting one foot in front of the other that she’d forgotten how to be happy?
Was Jack the answer to the question she didn’t know she had?