Chapter 1
Bright sunlight danced behind her eyelids.
Sophia groaned and brought one hand up to her forehead. She flipped onto her side, pried one eye open, and waited for her vision to adjust. As soon as it did, her arm flailed at her side, stopping when her fingers curled around the cool metal of her phone. With a frown, she lifted the phone up to her eyes and made a low sound in the back of her throat.
As soon as her vision swam back into focus, she let out a low squeak and threw the covers off. Then she raced around her room, throwing the doors to the closet open. After pulling on a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt over her shoulders, she tossed her pajamas into the hamper. In the shower, she kept dropping the bar of soap and having to bend down to pick it up.
Already, her morning was off to a rough start.
And her boss was not going to be happy that Sophia was late.
When she came out of the shower, steam followed her into the room. Sophia’s fingers moved quickly and deftly till she was fully clothed again. Then she dragged a brush through her hair, sprayed herself with perfume, and snatched her purse off the floor. Sophia took the stairs two at a time, nearly losing her footing at the last step. On her way past, she waved at her father, who stood on the front lawn in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, the hose gripped and secured in both hands.
“Sorry, we can’t talk. I’m late,” Sophia called out as she stuffed herself into the car. She rolled down the window and blew her dad a kiss. “Call you during my break. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” Stu replied with another cheerful wave.
He returned to the task of watering the grass and bushes as Sophia backed out of the driveway. By the time she pulled up outside of work a few minutes later, sweat was glistening on her forehead and the back of her neck. She left her car in one of the few remaining parking spots in the back and staggered onto the sidewalk. When she pushed the back door open, the smell of cinnamon and ginger hit her first. Followed closely by the pungent smell of sickly-sweet perfume.
Sophia shoved her purse into her locker and slipped her phone into her pocket. Then she tied her apron around her waist and pushed through the double doors, finding the kitchen already at full capacity, with everyone talking to be heard over each other and plates of pastries already on display. She greeted the staff with a quick smile and slid into her place near the oven, her heart still racing unsteadily.
“You’re late,” Nora commented, materializing next to her out of thin air. Sophia twisted to face her boss, the older woman’s slightly weathered face creasing into a frown. “Have you come up with an alternative for the bride yet? I still have no idea what she means by ‘influencer worthy food.’”
Sophia cleared her throat. “I have no idea either. I’m sorry I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off.”
Nora patted her thinning hair and nodded. “Try not to make it a habit, okay?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t.”
Nora stepped out of the kitchen, and before she ducked into her office, Sophia took a moment to admire the older woman, looking immaculate and put together in her pressed skirt and button-down shirt. Her boss was effortlessly elegant in a way most people envied, and it was one of the many reasons Sophia liked working for her. That and the fact that Nora had built the business herself from the ground up as a single mom and a refugee, to boot.
There was nothing she didn’t admire about her boss.
With a slight shake of her head, Sophia rolled up her sleeves and dragged her attention back to the present. She was halfway through the cupcake tasting when her daughter came in, dressed in knee-length shorts and a flowery shirt. Zoe left her small backpack on the table in the corner of the room, covered in wrappers and half-abandoned mugs of coffee. Wordlessly, Zoe pulled on one of the aprons and tied it around her waist.
“Sweetheart, what are you doing here?”
“Classes are done for the day,” Zoe replied, pausing to pick up one of the wooden spoons. She began to stir. “Remember, I told you that I’ve got a couple of days where the course load is light.”
Sophia leaned forward and reached for the vanilla extract. “So, you decided to come in to help? Not that I don’t love spending time with you, but you do know that you can do a lot of other things with your time, right?”
Zoe nodded, a furrow appearing between her brows. “Yeah, I know, but I like being here. You know that. How’s it going with the big wedding?”
Sophia glanced over her shoulders at Nora’s closed door. Then she glanced back at her daughter and lowered her voice. “I think Nora might actually pop a vein or something. The bride is definitely one of our more…challenging customers.”
Zoe snorted. “That’s putting it lightly. I’ve seen her live feed. She’s extremely demanding and, honestly, a little entitled.”
Sophia shrugged and picked up a teaspoon. “Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.”
“How did it go at the cottage the other day?”
Sophia drew her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it. “Better than I thought it would.”
Zoe patted her mother’s back. “You know it’s okay if it didn’t, right? You’re allowed to be upset about these things. You’re the one who always says it’s not good to bottle things up.”
“I’m not.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Seriously, Mom. You need to take more risks and have more faith in yourself. I’ve seen what happens when you do.”
Sophia carried a few plates over to the other side of the counter and returned. “Since we’re on the topic of not bottling things up, have you given any more thought to the summer internship?”
Zoe sighed. “Do we have to bring this up now?”
“There’s no time like the present.” Sophia began to sift the flour, resisting the urge to glance over at her daughter as she did. “I know you want to join Zac in Africa, but maybe you can do a month in Wilson Realty first, like we talked about.”
“I don’t know,” Zoe replied without looking at her. “I thought it was a good fit at first, but I’m not so sure right now. It’s important to be well-rounded, you know. Not everything is about the degree I’m getting.”
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with pursuing a career in your field. It’s what the degree is for—”
“Not everyone wants a quiet and simple life, Mom,” Zoe interrupted, her voice turning sharp toward the end. “There’s a whole other world out there, and maybe I don’t want to settle, okay?”
Sophia swallowed and pressed her lips together.
Had she been trying to get her daughter to settle?
Sophia herself had walked away from a high-profile career as a pastry chef in one of the most famous restaurants in the country, but she hadn’t regretted it one bit. Over time, Sophia had come to the conclusion that she was better suited to a quieter and more even-paced way of life, and every day since walking away, she’d known she’d made the right decision.
But it didn’t keep her from wondering how different her life would’ve been if she’d stayed.
For starters, she could’ve afforded her own house.
“I’m sorry,” Zoe offered in a quiet voice. “I didn’t mean to say that. Look, let’s just finish, and we can talk about this later.”
“I just want what’s best for you, Zoe,” Sophia whispered, pausing to place a hand on her daughter’s shoulders. She squeezed once and released. “I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”
Zoe nodded and didn’t say anything.
For the rest of the afternoon, the two of them worked in silence. Each time Sophia turned to her daughter, a comment on the tip of her tongue, she swallowed it and returned to work. When Zoe left near the end of the afternoon, muttering something about study groups and library hours, Sophia almost reached out to stop her. Instead, she returned to the wedding menu and poured over it until the tightness in the center of her chest abated.
She had no idea what was happening to her relationship with her kids.
Or how to fix it.
All she knew was that she went to sleep most nights, wondering if she had done the right thing.
Near the end of her shift, when Sophia was knee-deep in flour and cake batter, her phone rang again. She waited till the end of her shift a few minutes later to duck into the locker and sit on the bench there.
Her heart soared when she saw Zac’s name on the screen.
“Hi, sweetheart; sorry I missed your call.”
“I know your shift just ended, but I wanted to hear your voice.”
Sophia placed the phone between her neck and shoulders. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I had a great day today. We built this house for this family who lost everything in a fire, including their grandparents. It was amazing, Mom. You should’ve seen the looks on their faces when we brought them in.”
Sophia smiled. “I’m really proud of you, Zac.”
“It’s hard work, and most days, I’m exhausted, but when I see the impact it has on their lives, I know it’s worth it.” She heard the smile in his voice, and the enthusiasm, and it made some of the knots in her stomach unfurl. “Honestly, I can’t even imagine what I’d be doing if I’d pursued a career in architecture.”
Sophia switched the phone to her other ear and stood up. “You don’t regret walking away from it all?”
“Sometimes, I wonder what it would’ve been like if I’d stayed, but Provincetown just didn’t fit anymore, you know? Plus, I think I would’ve eventually wanted to move to the city or something. I don’t know.”
“You could’ve been a big city architect,” Sophia teased, pausing to wrench the locker door open. “I’m glad you’re happy, sweetheart. I really am. I just wish you’d come and visit.”
Zac sighed. “I know I haven’t visited in a couple of years, but I was getting settled and established. You know how it is when you get a new job.”
Sophia was folding her apron when she answered. “Yeah, I know.”
“Have you dazzled everyone with your sense of humor yet? I bet you have them in stitches most nights.”
“I’m a pastry chef, honey, not a stand-up comedian.”
“You’re hilarious, Mom,” Zac told her, another smile in his voice. “I don’t know why you don’t want people at work to know.”
“Things are different now.” Sophia set her apron down in the middle of her locker, pausing to finger the fabric. “It’s not like it was at my old job.”
“You work too hard. You need to live a little. What’s the expression, kick up your heels or something?”
Sophia choked back a laugh. “Just how old do you think I am?”
“My point stands either way. You need to go easier on yourself. You did a great job, and you deserve to be happy.”
Sophia sniffed. “Are you just telling me that to make me feel better about you not coming back?”
“A little, but also because I know you’re too hard on yourself, and you don’t need to be. Zoe and I turned out great.”
Sophia swallowed. “I’m glad you think so, sweetheart.”
A short while later, after he’d hung up, Sophia scrolled through her contacts and stopped at her daughter’s name. She wanted to call her, to apologize and make things right again, but she didn’t know where to start.
All she knew was that she was harder on Zoe because she saw too much of herself in her.
The last thing she wanted was for Zoe to end up like her, right back where she started in her forties, too afraid to take risks and with no idea what to do next with her life.
Eventually, Sophia tucked her phone back into her pocket, took out her purse, and left for the night. On the drive back home, she couldn’t help but picture the kind of life she thought she’d have by now.
It didn’t involve going home to a quiet apartment and an empty fridge.