Chapter 10 #2
When everyone’s starting to gather after dinner for the group bonfire, I ask Timber about the solar panels on the lodge.
“So you just put them up there and that’s it?”
“Pretty much,” Timber replies, following my gaze to the roof. “You have to clean them a couple of times a year. We usually do it in the spring after we’ve closed for the winter.”
I gaze up at the roof. “And you guys put them on every cabin too?”
“Yup. They power everything from your hot water to your lights.”
“But when it’s cloudy, they don’t?” I look at Timber.
“They can still operate when it’s cloudy.”
“Really? That’s pretty far out.”
Timber says something else, but I don’t hear him. My attention shifts a few feet away, where Carl is talking to Austin. It surprises me. I’ve never seen them talk before, and I’ve never really seen Austin talk to any of the other guys here. Except me.
I leave Timber mid-sentence and stride over to them, stepping right between them. “How’s it going?”
“I know where I’ve seen him now,” Carl says, gesturing to Austin. “He was on that show with the two families—the crazy one with a magician.”
“Love Thy Neighbor,” Austin says.
“Yeah, that’s it,” Carl says. “Pretty cool, man. Watched it all the time.”
We all walk to the bonfire. I stay between Carl and Austin as they talk around me about Carl’s favorite episodes.
My hands in my pockets ball into fists. When we get there, I sit on one side of Austin and Carl sits on the other.
They’re still talking about Love Thy Neighbor.
It really isn’t a big deal. Anyone would talk to him about that if they recognized him.
Once it starts and the tomahawk gets passed around, I catch Carl leaning over to whisper something to Austin. My knee bounces as I stare into the fire. Then Austin nudges me.
He leans over and whispers, “You want to sneak out of here?”
I look around and everyone is engrossed in some guy’s life story. I glance at Carl, then I whisper, “Just you and me?”
“Well, yeah. Of course.”
“You go first.”
Austin quietly gets up and slinks into the darkness. I glance at Carl watching Austin leave until Carl meets my gaze. I give him a look that makes his face turn red as I slowly and quietly back out of the circle. I catch up to Austin, and we walk quickly back to our cabin.
“It was getting kind of boring,” Austin says.
“Oh yeah? Talking to your new friend?”
“What?” Austin laughs. “Carl? I don’t think we’re friends. He’s a little weird.”
Once we’re inside and the door is closed, I push Austin against it. He’s surprised, and fire flashes in his eyes.
“Are you… mad?” he asks.
I press my body against his. “No.”
His eyes search my face, then he slowly smirks. “Are you… jealous?”
I put my arms on either side of him, caging him in.
“You are.” He smiles. “You really are.”
I shift my eyes away from him. “I know I don’t own you or anything. It just seemed really friendly to me.”
“He was just blabbing to me about the show. He’s a fan.”
“Did he ask to suck your dick?”
“What?! No.”
“Would you let him if he did?”
I like his smile. It spreads across his face to his eyes. Those freckles. Fuck him for looking so sweet. Like an angel. An angel that can smile like the devil. “Where is this coming from?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly, taking a step back. “I saw you guys talking. I haven’t seen you talk to anyone else here. Except Timber and Canyon. Just, I don’t know, made me feel… weird.”
He studies me carefully.
“And it’s like, I’ll be done here before you. Back in LA. And you’ll be here…”
“For a couple of days.”
“I know,” I say, feeling silly.
His smile fades, and he gets serious. “I’ve been thinking about that.”
My heart starts to beat a little faster. “You have?”
“I want to see you. When we get back. Doesn’t have to be all the time or whatever. It would just be nice to see you every once in a while.” He ducks his head, his cheeks warming pink. “I promise I won’t try to kick your ass.”
My face heats, and my heart does a happy little skip. I try hard not to smile too wide. “Every once in a while?”
“More or less. I know you’ll have stuff you need to do. Be busy sometimes.”
“I think you’ll be the busy one,” I say, moving close to him again. I get a feeling in my chest when I look at him, into his eyes. Soft and kind of fluttery, like his red lashes are tickling my heart. “But okay. That’s cool with me.”
He smiles. “Good.” Then he reaches around me and grabs my ass. “I like it when you’re jealous.”
“You do?”
He walks me backwards to my bed. “It’s kind of a turn on to see you all pissed off at somebody who isn’t me.”
I fall back onto my bed with him on top of me. “You want me to beat him up? Would that impress you?”
“I don’t need to be impressed.”
I run a hand down his freckled arm. He has a whole galaxy on his body. One I want to explore, and now it doesn’t feel so rushed. I can take my time.
Our bodies come together, and our mouths meet. Zippers slide down. Shirts come off. He kisses the sensitive spot on my neck, below my ear, then nips at my skin. It makes my dick so hard. I kiss a spot on his throat where a cluster of freckles form a heart.
Once nothing’s between us except skin from head to toe, I move us so I’m on top of him.
My dick is ready to pound his hole all night long.
But I don’t want to fuck him yet. I know it’s going to be different with him.
On New Year’s Eve, I could have fucked him good on his waterbed, left his house, left my cum inside him, and left it at that.
If I saw him again, I wouldn’t need to fight.
It would have been easy to keep everything in separate compartments, pulling each one out whenever I wanted.
It’s not going to be like that now.
I jerk us off in one hand while the other is braced beside him.
We just need a little bit of spit since both our dicks are leaking enough to help my palm stroke up and down easily.
We’re both so turned on by each other. I don’t know what to do with that yet.
His hands skim down my back and grab my ass.
This is where I want to be, over him with him beneath me.
This way, I can keep him from ascending.
He pulls my head down for a searing hot kiss and tangles his fingers in my hair. I’m getting close, and I can tell from his breathing that he is too.
I kiss all over his freckled cheek to his neck. “You gonna come, baby?”
“Yes,” he hisses through gritted teeth.
His cock twitches in my hand, and he shoots all over himself. I squeeze our dicks one more time. A crack of lightening shoots down my spine, and I explode all over him. I jerk us both until we get soft, then I lean over and drag my tongue over his chest.
“Oh, God,” he says, watching me, and I feel his dick twitch between us.
I lay beside him, which isn’t easy. These beds are too small for two grown men to lie side by side. He’s watching me with a secretive little smile on his face.
“What?” I ask.
He turns to kiss me, his tongue licking into my mouth. He sighs with satisfaction and pulls away, still with that look on his face.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask.
“You said ‘baby.’”
“Yeah? So?”
He grins and his eyes dart away. “I don’t know. I’m just used to you calling me Hollywood. Or asshole. Or dickhead.”
“You want me to call you dickhead next time?”
He laughs. “No.” He shrugs. “Just wasn’t expecting it.”
“I wasn’t either,” I say.
I need to watch myself, letting things like that slip.
I know we’ll see each other after this, but that doesn’t mean it’ll continue.
He’s going to be the next Robert Redford—wait and see.
He’ll forget all about me. He’s the Good Angel, and angels get to fly away.
They soar into the clouds, leaving you below, wondering why you feel so heavy.
I brush a lock of hair from his face. “What if I called you angel?”
He smiles. “I’m not an angel.”
What are we doing, squished together in a bed like this, looking into each other’s eyes and coming up with pet names?
It’s like sleeping with the enemy. I’ll get back to LA, back to Sunny, Pete, and Tamar.
Back to being a nothing and remembering what side I’m on.
I’m the enemy he’s sleeping with. He just doesn’t know it yet.
He doesn’t know how heavy I want to become to keep him from flying away.
The inches between us in this bed start to feel like miles.
I don’t know why I feel so hopeless. I didn’t have him in my life before; why would it matter if I didn’t later?
It’s because we’ve seen each other’s wounds. He told me the truth. And I always knew there would be a next time. It always happened. Even if that next time concluded with us cussing each other out or beating each other up, it was going to come. I always knew.
“You are, though,” I say to him. “You are an angel.”
He chuckles. “Okay, then. Whatever you say.”
We shift in the bed, getting comfortable. My eyes get heavy, bugs are outside buzzing, and his breath steadies next to me as we drift off to sleep.
Canyon, Timber, Jack, and Cloud have a ceremony when you’ve completed your six weeks.
They have a special bonfire out by the huge garden after dinner.
Lightning bugs are everywhere, and everyone sits in the grass.
They each give a short speech, wishing me well.
Canyon hands me a beaded headband and tells me the pattern has something to with a Native American legend about journeys.
Jack gives me a small, hardbound notebook and tells me it’s to capture the moments.
Cloud gifts me a small box with special tea he made.
He tells me to drink it whenever I need peace and wisdom.
Timber gives me a green velvet bag with three stones inside.
“Clear quartz, amethyst, and a little moonstone,” he says. “They help you find your way back if you ever get lost.”