Chapter 12 #2
Before I come, I grab his shoulder and pull him up so he’s right against me. He starts fisting his dick.
“Want me to fill you up?” I whisper in his ear.
“Yes,” he moans. “Please.”
My entire body is on fire when I come deep inside him, and I smack his freckled ass. I hear him groan, then I look over his shoulder, watching as his cock erupts all over the carpet.
“Come for me, baby.” I bite his ear, his neck, and grind my dick into him. “That’s it.”
He shoots three or four times before he’s done. I pull out and put my hand over his hole, feeling how open it is, how wet it is. All because of me.
And it’s mine. All of him is mine.
He twists his head so we can kiss. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close to me. We stay like that for a while before we lay on the floor over our clothes. Austin puts an ear to my chest, then he starts tapping on it with his fingers.
“That’s what your heart’s doing right now,” he says.
“What can I say?” I dig around in my pants pocket for the joint Judd rolled for me earlier. “You make my heart sing, Hollywood.” I light it up and take a drag.
We share the joint for a few minutes, then he says, “I have a question for you.”
“I’ve got answers, angel.”
“You say you don’t like drugs because of your dad and stepmom, but you smoke weed.”
“It’s not the same thing.”
“It’s illegal.”
“So is fucking someone in the ass, but I don’t hear you complaining.” I smack one of his cheeks.
“It’s not illegal in California anymore.”
“How do you know that?”
“I know things.”
“You do? Do you know how you’re gonna get your cum out of the carpet?”
He turns to look and shrugs. “Next time it’s going down your throat.”
“You’re filthy, Hollywood.”
We get partially dressed, and I go through his fridge and cabinets to see what he’s got. I know he’s got a housekeeper to do his shopping for him, so he doesn’t really know himself.
“You think she got you any tofu?” I ask him.
“No.” He stands next to me in the kitchen. “Why would I want that?”
“I don’t know. I just remember they made this tofu meal a few times back at the rehab. It was pretty good.”
“You like tofu now?”
“I guess, yeah.” I put some vegetables on the counter and start cutting them up. “I’ll figure something out, though.”
“You’re gonna cook for me?” He’s behind me, his arms wrapping around me.
“I am.”
“Good.” He kisses the back of my neck. “Because I’m gonna take you places and buy you things.”
“What, like I’m your mistress?”
He keeps kissing my neck. “I just want to do things for you. Give you things.”
The tenderness in his voice makes me pause, and my eyes feel wet. “Careful, Hollywood. I might think that you like me.”
“Just a little,” he whispers.
I set down the knife and turn around. He puts his hands on either side of me, caging me in. He kisses my lips and across my jaw to my earlobe.
“Keep that up,” I say, “and I’ll have to send you to bed without supper.”
“You gonna spank me too?” He grabs my hands, my fingers rubbing against his, and I wince. He looks at them. “What happened?”
“If you want to know, you need to sit down and be a good boy.”
He grins and takes a seat at the kitchen counter. While I cook, I tell him about Judd, the song, and learning guitar.
He’s impressed. “Wow. Guitar lessons from Judd Pinskey? Damn, I’m jealous.”
“You want to play guitar?”
He laughs. “No. No, I’d be really bad at it.” He pauses. “What’s your song about?”
I put a plate in front of him. “Just stuff I’ve been thinking about.”
He smiles at me. He’s not going to accept that answer. “What stuff?”
“It’s about angels.” I sit next to him and take a bite.
A glimmer shines in his eyes. “What kind of angels?”
I pretend to think about it while I finish chewing and swallow. “Angels who rescue you when you didn’t know you needed to be rescued.”
He rests his chin in his hand, studying my face for a few moments.
Anxiety pricks in my throat. I sometimes worry I’m going to say the wrong thing.
The kind of thing, or things, that shouldn’t be said this early in a relationship.
For Christ’s sake, we were beating each other up a couple months ago.
Everything happened so fast, but it didn’t feel that way.
It feels like this started a long time ago, like it’s always been right here between us.
I wonder if I can find the words to describe it and put it into music too.
“This is really good,” Austin says, gesturing to his food.
“Thanks. I remember they had this dish with like squash and rice in it, probably didn’t get it exact. But it’s okay.”
“It is. You’re like a chef. A singing chef.”
I laugh. “Right.”
After we eat, we go outside by the pool. The lights on the sides glow, and I get in while Austin sits on the edge. He has a great view of the city—glittering lights below, starry sky above. I swim up beside him, resting my arms on the side.
“I have a question for you now,” I say.
“Okay.”
“Why the cocaine?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. It was there, and everybody else was doing it. I didn’t want to be the only one not.” He sighs. “Then I just sort of kept doing it.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Sometimes,” he admits.
I move to him and slide between his legs. “We’re going to have to find you a new addiction.” I nudge his knees apart, and he scoots closer to the edge.
“And what might that be?” he asks.
I take his cock out of his underwear and stroke it before sliding my mouth over it.
Austin gasps as I suck on it, getting bigger and harder between my lips.
I could do this to him every night. Right out here too.
He should know his dick is mine. I run my wet hands up his thighs to his stomach, his skin prickling with goosebumps.
All of this. Nobody else gets to touch him.
All I wanted was you.
I’m getting so good at sucking him off that I know almost exactly when he’s going to come. His thighs tense, his stomach quakes, and he shoots down my throat. He grips my wet hair, and I pop off.
“I don’t know if you should want me getting addicted to that,” he says.
“Better than that other stuff.”
He leans forward, pushing some hair off my forehead, and plants a kiss on the jagged scar. I take his left hand and loosen the leather band around his wrist. His arms stiffen, and his breath becomes shaky, but he doesn’t pull his arm back when I lean down and kiss the scars on his wrist.
I situate the band again, and he joins me in the water. We kiss, and kiss, and kiss, and kiss some more. I’m telling you, one day we’re going to drown in this pool. But at least we’d be together. Together in this life.
And since angels are immortal, in eternity too.