Chapter 16
Harvey on why he can’t wait to fall in love!
I don’t have to deal with Pete much after the incident at the casino.
He, Dan, and a bunch of other people hop on a private plane and go to Vegas.
Tamar wasn’t invited. The day he leaves, she goes to a clinic.
When she comes home, she goes into their bedroom and shuts the door.
I have to check on her periodically. I get better at making all that health food from the retreat, and I bring some up to her on a tray.
Sometimes she eats it and sometimes she doesn’t.
I sit on the end of the bed one evening and ask her, “Why don’t you just divorce him?”
She looks so small in that big bed. Almost innocent. “Why don’t you mind your own business?”
“Because Sunny is my business, and as long as you’re in here, I have to lie to her. You really want me to keep doing that?”
She shakes her head. “He’s behind in child support for the other two. I wouldn’t see a dime.”
“And this is better how?”
She doesn’t have an answer for that.
“You’re so miserable. What’s the point in living like this?”
Tamar just waves me away, and I take her half-eaten meal with me.
I take Sunny shopping to get stuff for school.
It starts back next week, so at least she won’t be cooped up in his house all day every day.
And with Pete gone—no clue as to when he’ll return—the house feels…
lighter. After Sunny has gone to bed, I take Judd’s guitar outside and strum around, practicing the chords he gave me and trying to sing the song at the same time.
This was much easier when I was faking it.
I’m over at Judd’s one afternoon when he asks me what’s wrong. I didn’t think I was acting like there was, but I tell him there’s nothing.
“Bullshit,” he says. “I can hear it in your voice. You’ve got something else on your mind.” He lights a cigarette and sits across from me in his living room. “What’s going on?”
I put the guitar down. “It’s not anything. I have a lot going on, I guess.”
“Like?”
I look over at him.
“You can’t create sweet love songs when you’re down, buddy.”
I figure I’ve got nothing to lose, so I tell him. I tell Judd all about finding my bank account empty, finding Pete at a casino, and then finding myself dead broke. Judd listens without saying a word. I have to have a cigarette after I get it all out.
After I’m done, Judd says, “That no good son of a bitch.” He gazes out one of the windows for a few moments. “I think I can set you up. You need to take his ass to court.”
“He’s gambling away all his money. And he probably gambled away all of mine. I wouldn’t get anything from him.”
“You’d get to throw his ass in jail if he can’t pay up.”
I linger on the irony for a moment—me putting Pete in jail. “What if you guys reunite?”
“What does that have to do anything? The man stole all your money. The band getting together again is irrelevant.”
“You think you will?”
“Hell, I don’t know.” He throws up his hands. “But in the meantime, we’ve got to get you set.” He leans forward in his seat. “That song you wrote here? That’s a million-dollar song. Guaranteed.”
I laugh. “Are you joking?”
“Not one bit. If we produce the track, mix everything just right, I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes a number-one hit.”
“With me singing it?” I say skeptically. “You should definitely find someone else if you want it to go that far.”
“Now listen,” Judd says. “I can lend you some cash. For whatever you need.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Absolutely not. I can’t take your money.”
“You’re not taking it. You’re borrowing it.”
“Okay, borrow. I can’t borrow money from you.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t.”
Judd gets up to fix himself a drink. “I won’t twist your arm. But you should at least think about it.”
I sigh. “Sure. I’ll think about it.”
“Okay,” I say, tuning the strings and adjusting the capo. “Now I’m going to play the first verse.”
“All right,” Sunny replies, staring back at me behind her heart-shaped sunglasses.
“And you’re gonna give me your honest opinion, aren’t you?”
I see her eyebrows furrow behind the sunglasses. “No duh.”
A breeze comes through, ruffling the leaves on the palms and stirring the water in the pool as I start playing.
It’s slow and not very smooth as I have to keep glancing at the notepad beside me.
It wouldn’t be terrible to mix up the lyrics or forget a word or two since Sunny wouldn’t know the difference, but I don’t want to mess up anything. And I haven’t quite memorized it yet.
I’m hardly through the first two lines when she holds up her hand to stop me.
I stop playing. “What?”
“Is this about somebody?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Who?”
I sigh and lay my arms on the guitar. “Sunny, do you want to listen or not?”
“Ugh, fine.” She folds her legs under her like a pretzel in the lounge chair. “Go ahead, Liveritchy.”
“It’s Liberace, and he plays the piano.” I start the verse again and occasionally have to stop or slow down to make sure my fingers are pressing on the right strings.
After the last note fades away, I flip the page for the next verse. I glance at Sunny. “Well?”
“It’s okay,” she says with a shrug. “You sound like Fozzie Bear. Now will you tell me who it is?”
“No.” I place my fingers for the next chord. “And I don’t sound like Fozzie Bear.”
“You told me to be honest. Did you get a girlfriend at the rehab?”
I huff out a laugh and rub the bridge of my nose. “We’re going to have to have a talk one day.”
“Why not now?”
“Because I’m playing my song right now.”
She opens her mouth to answer when we hear a crash inside the house. I set the guitar down and go inside to find Tamar on the kitchen floor, picking up pieces of a broken glass.
“You okay?” I ask her.
She looks up at me. “It just slipped.” Her face is a little greasy, and her eyes are bloodshot. Her hands are shaking. My eyes immediately go to her arms, but her robe has long sleeves.
I sense Sunny beside me. “Go back outside.”
“But—”
“Go on.”
Sunny does, with an attitude, but as soon as she slides the door shut, I say, “What were you doing?”
Tamar sits back on her heels and rubs her head. “Harvey, I don’t need this right now.”
“Where is he? Did he come back?”
“Are you going to help me?” She puts pieces of glass on a dish towel.
“I don’t get it. You were doing yoga and eating bean sprouts, for Christ’s sake.”
“Harvey, stop it.”
“It’s never going to end, is it? You have a kid to take care of.”
“Will you shut up!” she yells, then immediately covers her mouth. She takes couple of breaths. “I’m sorry. You just don’t understand. A person can slip up every now and then.”
“Except it’s not every now and then, and you know it.”
She silently picks up more pieces of glass.
“I could call the cops on you,” I say softly. “You know that?”
She glares up at me. “You and your empty threats.” She tries to stand up, but I have to grab her when she almost falls.
I take the dish towel full of glass from her and toss it in the trash. I set her down in a chair, and take a seat next to her, glancing out the windows to see Sunny sitting on the lounge chair with her arms crossed.
“Did you bring it into the house?” I ask Tamar.
She grabs a pack of Newports from the table and lights one. “It’s not like last time. We’ll be fine.”
“The more you talk, the more you sound like a robot.”
She shifts her gaze at me.
“It’s the same shit every time. It’s like you’re programmed.”
“You think you’re high and mighty?” She exhales through her nose. “I’ve never been in handcuffs.”
I clench my teeth and look away from her for a few moments, then I just say it. “I’m getting my own place. And I’m taking Sunny with me.”
Tamar stares at me. “What?”
I stand up. “This better be the last time.” I open the deck doors.
“You’re not taking my own daughter from me, you little bastard,” Tamar snaps behind me.
I grab the guitar to put it in the case with the notepad. “Come on,” I tell Sunny. “Let’s go up to your room and pack a bag.”
She stands up. “Why?”
“You’re spending the night at Peach’s.”
“What?! Hell no!”
“That’s another dollar, and yes, you are.” I walk her back inside, carrying my guitar case.
Sunny runs over to Tamar. “Harvey’s making me go to Peach’s! Don’t make me go to her house!”
Tamar looks over at me, her expression cold. But mine’s colder. Then she sighs, running a hand down Sunny’s hair. “It’s just for one night.”
“Why?”
Tamar glances at me again. “Mommy’s not feeling good, but I’ll be better tomorrow.”
Sunny scrunches up her mouth, glaring at Tamar, and then at me. “I hate both of you!” she shrieks, running out of the kitchen, then stomping loudly up the stairs. We both hear the door to her room slam.
“She’ll be all right,” Tamar says quietly.
“You won’t.”
I turn to go upstairs to help Sunny pack.
Peach really doesn’t like it when I call.
I haven’t had to do it that often, and Peach really isn’t too keen on watching the daughter of the woman Pete cheated on her with. But she’s done it before. She knows what goes on here because she was part of it. Peach cleaned herself up years ago, though, so at least I know Sunny will be safe.
I call her on the hall phone while Sunny piles books and toys in her little suitcase.
Seth answers. “Hello?”
“Is your mom there?”
“Who is this?”
“It’s Harvey. Is she there?”
“I’m not supposed to talk to you,” Seth mutters.
“Then stop talking to me and get your mom.”
“Hold on,” he grumbles. I hear him set the receiver down.
After a few moments, Peach picks up. “What do you want, Harvey?”
“Sunny needs to spend the night.”
“Oh, God,” I hear her mutter. “Why?”
“Why do you think?”
She breathes an annoyed sigh into the phone. “Bring her over then. We’re having dinner soon.”
“Thanks.”