Chapter 9 - Kennedy #2
His eyes darted upward, refusing to meet my gaze.
A nervous tick of his that always got on my nerves.
“The sooner the better, because I’m in the process of selling the place.
” His comment took me by surprise, and it must have shown on my face, because he so gracefully—and for literally no reason—added, “I’m moving in with Meghan. ”
The words shocked me at first. I half-expected them to hurt like alcohol being rubbed into a freshly made wound.
But when the pain didn’t come, and what surged was bitterness instead, I drew a sharp breath as a dark chuckle slipped past my lips.
“Funny. I thought you were incapable of letting that place go.” The knot in my throat tightened with every word.
I didn’t expect him to have a hard time moving on. When we broke up, we made our feelings pretty clear. The bitterness I felt wasn’t because I was hurting or mourning the relationship we once had. There wasn’t anything left to mourn.
But the dark thought crept out of the shadows and took hold of me.
It hurt knowing he was capable of change, just not with me.
Part of me always knew I had never been Joe’s first choice.
Now that we were broken up and I could see it from a different perspective, the signs were there.
I was just blind to it. But seeing it in real time was a much different dose of reality, one I wasn’t ready to swallow.
The realization that I longed to be someone’s priority hit me like an arrow straight in the chest, and my heart sank into the pit of my stomach.
But as quickly as the pain spread from my chest to the rest of my body, I pushed it back, because if there was one thing I hated more than anything, it was showing any signs of weakness.
It was gut-wrenching to admit I was a simple girl who wanted more. Someone who wanted to be loved. Wanted. Cherished. Because I wasn’t supposed to want those things. I had the career, the independence.
What could love possibly provide for me?
Hurt? Bitterness? Emptiness?
I tried it for four years, and it was…not something I wanted to go through again.
And yet, I couldn’t shake this feeling off.
My heart latched on to a hope for something that didn’t exist. The knowledge of it was frustrating.
Letting someone in meant I had to put myself in a box, because I knew I was too much, and I was far from perfect.
I wholeheartedly believed no one could ever love all parts of me, and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice myself for the sake of someone else. Not again.
“Can we not do this right now?” he snapped. “And I guess it’s a good time as any to tell you I will be bringing Meghan to Evelyn’s and David’s anniversary dinner.”
Fuck. The anniversary. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten. Facing all of those people… I didn’t even know if I was ready—scratch that—I knew I wasn’t.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to attend.”
He scoffed. “Evelyn’s your best friend.”
I wanted to laugh at that. Because was she really?
We met Evelyn and David when we went on vacation a few years ago. When we realized we lived in the same city, we became friends quickly. I considered Evelyn one of my closest friends, but after the breakup, she sort of disappeared.
“I have to go,” I muttered as I reached for my cart to get away from him.
He stepped into my line of sight, gripping the edge of my cart. “So, are you going to go or not?”
“Why do you even care? She hasn’t even talked to me since you and I broke up.”
I let out a shaky sigh. Shit. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. I needed to get out of there—fast.
The sharpness of every breath I took was eating me, and I was one second away from breaking down.
My chest started to tighten, warning me of a possible asthma attack, and I was desperate to walk away.
The last thing I wanted to add to my endless list of bizarre things that had happened to me in the past few months was had a breakdown and asthma attack in front of my shitty ex.
The struggle to get out of my head was proving to be difficult. The place felt small and hot as my anxious thoughts took over the driver’s seat of my mind.
You aren’t good enough.
You aren’t worth the hassle.
“Too much of a woman” is sounding more realistic now, isn’t it?
It’s true. You’re too much. Not even your ex-fiancé managed to handle you. Who in their right mind would?
That’s why your supposed best friend hasn’t even reached out to you. They all know you’re a goddamn mess.
Like an angel sent from above, a raspy voice caught my attention and pulled me out of my thoughts. “Baby, there you are.”
I lifted my gaze with a confused frown and found Anderson walking toward me.
His strides were strong and purposeful. His eyes were focused on me and only me. It was an exhilarating feeling to have Anderson’s complete attention. But it was also…terrifying, because the look he had on his face conveyed understanding, and it made me feel exposed and vulnerable.
He pulled down his hood and shook his head slightly, giving me a pointed act cool look as he handed me my coffee and slipped his arm around my waist as he gracefully moved to stand behind me.
The touch was soft and simple, but I stiffened at the charged electricity surging through my body.
I took a few small breaths, hoping it would help me not look as stiff as a board.
Anderson surprised me by leaning in and pressing a kiss on my cheek.
The touch of his lips against my skin was like being seared by sun-warmed metal.
I wanted to simultaneously get away from him and ask him to do it again.
He lifted my head slightly so I could meet his eyes. “Sorry it took so long. The line was ridiculous,” he said casually, as if this was something we did every day.
“Henry Anderson?” Joe asked, confusion lacing his tone.
Anderson didn’t even bother to cast Joe a glance. His intense blue-gray eyes remained focused on me and somehow managed to ground me. The knot in my throat started to lessen, and I hoped with all my heart that my eyes were conveying the sentiment.
“No autographs. I’m with my girlfriend right now.” His voice was tight and to the point, one I recognized because it was the same way he talked to reporters every time we were in the media room.
Wait a damn minute. Girlfriend? What the hell was happening?
Joe reared back as he squared his shoulders. “We’ve met. I’m Kennedy’s fiancé.” His tone held some bite, but then he shook his head quickly. “I mean, ex-fiancé.”
Anderson shifted his gaze from me to Joe, his expression unreadable.
“Sorry, can’t say I remember,” he said flatly.
“Guess you’ve got one of those forgettable faces.
” The bored lilt in his voice made my body tingle.
This attitude of his was what usually annoyed me, but knowing Joe was on the receiving end brought a sense of glee.
And to be quite honest? I found it hot. And that was a serious problem.
Joe’s eyes narrowed as he shot me a pointed glance, irritation practically rolling off him in waves. It was a rare and satisfying sight. If there was one thing Joe despised, it was being dismissed like he didn’t matter. “So, you and Anderson?”
I froze as I tried to form a coherent response, and I probably looked like a gaping fish. Anderson’s hand tightened around my waist in a silent warning. This was a terrible idea. Not the kind of ammo I wanted to give to Joe. But what other option did I have?
All I managed to say was a casual, “Yup.”
Joe snorted a bitter laugh. “No wonder you loved your job so much,” he muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
The comment was like a cold slap to my face.
I stared at him, stunned. How dare he insinuate something so awful? I was nothing but faithful during our relationship, even considering the lack thereof.
Another flare of annoyance gripped me and I was ready to snap a response, but Anderson stepped to the side, set his coffee in the cart holder, and squared his shoulders as he folded his arms across his broad, muscled chest. “What exactly are you implying?” He bit out the question through gritted teeth.
Joe stumbled back a step, his hands lifting in defense. “Whoa, hey. Why don’t we all calm down?” It almost made me laugh to see him folding so quickly. Joe had always been all words, no bite. Some things truly never changed.
Anderson took a menacing step forward. He closed the distance between him and Joe and easily towered over Joe’s five-foot-nine height. “I’m perfectly calm. You’re the one sputtering bullshit out of your mouth right now.”
Joe shifted his eyes between us and then settled his gaze on me. “You’re going to let him talk to me like this? After everything?”
A smirk played on my lips, and I gave a lazy shrug. “Works for me.”
Was this petty? Absolutely. But the number of times Joe’s family and friends made jokes and inappropriate comments at my expense, and not once did he care enough to defend me, was too many to count. So, forgive me if I wasn’t eager to stop Anderson from putting him in his place.
I considered it well-deserved karma.
Joe stared at me in disbelief. “Real classy getting with a jock, K.”
“Do not fucking call her K. She doesn’t like it,” Anderson snapped.
I stared at him, stunned. How did he even know that?
Joe darted his tongue against his cheek with a clipped nod. “If this is how you wanna play it, fine. You’ve got until the end of next month to pick up your shit. After that, it’s all going in the trash.”
“How kind of you,” I fired back.
Anderson took a step back and draped an arm around my shoulder protectively. “Don’t worry, baby. We’ll go on one of our days off and pick up your stuff, okay?”
“Perfect.” Joe’s nostrils flared as his gaze bounced between Anderson and me. “Guess you’ve got it all figured out.”
Anderson’s lips twitched into a smirk. “You bet.”
A charged silence fell between us, and Joe’s jaw tightened as he met my stare. “You’ve changed, you know that?”
I tilted my head, forcing a cool smile even though my heart wanted to sputter out of my chest. “Yeah, I have. And trust me, it’s been long overdue.” The lie easily slipped out of my lips.
He didn’t deserve the truth. He didn’t deserve to know I was stuck in time, not knowing where to go or who I was. But if he thought I was changing, great. It meant I was doing an excellent job at faking it.
Without a word and a clipped nod, he finally stormed off.
Once he was out of sight, I inhaled a deep breath.
My lungs were eager for air, but the tightness in my chest made it difficult.
I didn’t think it was going to push me over the asthma attack territory, but to be safe, I opened my purse and grabbed my inhaler.
Anderson followed my movements with curious eyes, his brows furrowing when he saw me take two quick puffs.
My heart sank. Damn. I had done a great job of not letting anyone know this part of me. The last thing I wanted was to see Anderson’s pity, so I instantly dropped my gaze, and once my chest started to lighten, I dropped the inhaler back into my purse without a word.
The delicious-looking iced caramel macchiato with oat milk stared back at me, and I let out a wistful sigh. I was looking forward to it, but drinking caffeine after a huge spike of anxiety was out of the question.
Anderson stood in front of me, his facial expression softening as he placed one of his calloused hands on my cheek. “You okay?” His tone was gentle, with a low gruffness.
I nodded. “I’m going to pick up a few more things, and then we can head out.”
His mouth twitched in doubt. “You don’t look too good. We can do an online order, and I’ll come pick it up later.”
“I’m fine,” I replied through gritted teeth.
I was grateful he was there to be a buffer, but having him witness a moment when I was barely holding on was far from okay. It ate me alive.
He nodded as his hand moved from my cheek, reaching for a piece of my hair and placing it behind my ear. “Your ex-fiancé is kind of a dick.”
My laugh was humorless. “Understatement of the century.”
I shifted my gaze to meet his. The world around me grew dim for the briefest moment. The gray around his irises stood out more than usual and created a deeper and darker contrast against his usual blue hues. A light stubble dusted his face, somehow adding more charm to his features.
The realization of everything crashed against me like a car slamming on the brakes just in time, bringing me back to a halting reality.
“What the hell was that back there?”
“What?” He knitted his brows.
“Baby, there you are,” I said gruffly as I tried to imitate the depth of his voice, but miserably failed.
He rubbed the palm of his hand across his mouth as he tried his damn hardest to erase the smile that was threatening to escape him. “Are you imitating me?”
I hit him in the shoulder. “Stop evading my question.”
“I saw the whole encounter. I knew he was your ex-fiancé, and you looked like you needed help.”
“And now he’s going to think I dumped him for a hockey player,” I snapped.
He crossed his arms and tilted his head, staring at me with curious eyes. “I know it’s none of my business, but why exactly do you care what he thinks?”
“We were engaged for three years, Anderson. It’s not simple to erase all that history.”
“He seems to be erasing it just fine with plastic Barbie over there,” he remarked sarcastically.
And just like that, I was slapped for a second time that day. Frustration took hold of me at the condescending tone in his voice. He had a good point, but what the hell did a girl have to do around here to be left alone?
“Why are you being an asshole?”
“Maybe I’m just being honest?” he countered.
I gaped at him in disbelief. “Honestly, Anderson, you’re being a complete dick when I didn’t even ask for your opinion in the first place,” I blurted, not able to hold back my anger any longer.
I shook my head and left him there standing without so much as a glance back. The last thing I wanted to do was stay there, and the less I had to look at the asshole, the better.