Chapter 28 Kennedy
TWENTY-EIGHT
KENNEDY
FUNNY HOW LIFE WORKS, ISN’T IT?
“It’s open,” Henry said when I knocked on his bedroom door a few hours after we’d arrived home.
When I opened it, Captain Sushi was next to me, but with his cute, fluffy white paws, he took a few steps and jumped on the bed, settling between Henry’s thighs with a low purr.
He scratched Sush’s ear while he patted the space next to him. “Come here.”
I hopped onto the bed and got underneath the comforter, letting the fluffy cotton warm me up. “I’m exhausted.”
“I bet.” He laughed. “I’m tired, too. But you had to talk to people all day, I’m sure that took the energy out of you.”
I yawned and rested my head against the headboard. “I love talking to people, it fills my energy cup. But standing all day killed my legs for sure.”
“Energy cup?”
“Yeah, like, you know how there are certain things that replenish your energy? I imagine it’s like a cup. Talking to people replenishes it.”
“That’s such a weird analogy.”
I hit him in the arm. “Shut up,” I said with a laugh then craned my neck to look at him. “We’ve postponed the conversation long enough. Spill the beans, pretty boy.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” he quipped.
I shifted upright, folding my legs under me as I turned to face him. “Why were we at Willow House today?”
“Volunteering.”
“Henry,” I groaned.
His lips pursed, and he didn’t say a word for a few seconds.
He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling, almost like he was lost in thought.
“I-uh, honestly, I’m just going to come out and say it, because there is no easy way to approach this subject,” he said, then he inhaled a quick breath and blurted, “I founded Willow House.”
I reared back in shock. That was certainly the last thing I was expecting, so a million questions were running through my head. I didn’t know where to start.
“I’m sorry, but did you just say you’re the founder of one of the biggest nonprofit organizations in the Midwest?” I gaped at him in disbelief.
He nodded as he avoided my gaze. “Kennedy, what I’m about to tell you…
” He scrubbed his face and sighed. “Please don’t tell anyone, yeah?
” His voice took on a vulnerability I had never heard from him.
He was usually all confidence and cockiness, maybe even a little silly at times, but this side of him was…
new. My heart was all too aware, because it tightened in my chest with hope.
Was this it? Was he finally letting me in?
I gripped his hand and squeezed it gently.
“You can trust me,” I said softly. “I would never. You know that.” I mean, we shared a secret that could destroy us—one that could get him in trouble, too.
The thought alone brought some fierce protection out of me.
Whatever he was about to tell me, I was going to keep close to my chest for the rest of my life.
“When I got drafted, I was an eighteen-year-old kid with a whole lot more money than I knew what to do with. When my agent casually mentioned that most players tended to invest or give to charity, an idea popped into my head.” His Adam’s apple bopped.
“My childhood wasn’t easy, and my mother had to, uh, escape a dangerous situation, you know?
” he murmured. His words were tight, like it took everything in him to keep his emotions in check.
He didn’t give me the details, but I was already putting the pieces together on my own, and my heart felt like it was lodged in my throat at the newfound information.
“I saw my mom struggle for years. She worked multiple jobs to make the transition as easy as possible for me and Olivia. She sacrificed herself to keep me in hockey, which was the only thing that brought a sense of normalcy during those uncertain times. She did everything she could to make us happy and to get us away from him.” His voice cracked, and it was like there was an invisible string connecting us, because my heart broke then, too.
“Did you know that one out of every three women has experienced DV in their lifetime? Did you also know that one in every four children has been exposed to this horrible thing, too?” He shook his head and straightened up.
This woke Sush up, and he moved to his cat bed, where he peacefully curled up to continue sleeping.
“I felt so fucking powerless when I was a kid, and when I finally had the money to do something good with it, I went for it.”
It was a lot of information to process, and I wanted to be sensitive to the heaviness of the conversation and treat it with care. “Henry, if you don’t want to continue telling me this story, you don’t have to.”
His eyes met mine, and they shone with so much heaviness and unspoken emotions. “No. I want to,” he rasped.
And so he did.
He told me everything his family endured after Vincent Anderson had his career-ending injury.
The beatings, the screaming, the constant berating.
Tears welled in my eyes after he shared details on how bad it had gotten and what gave Henry’s mom the courage to pick up her things and her two kids and… leave. Start all over again.
If I ever had the opportunity to meet Henry’s mom, all I wanted to do was give her a big hug. Because that was a brave thing to do. She was a superwoman, and I hoped nothing but happiness and peace for her.
Henry was brave in a way, too. So fierce, and kind, and willing to make the world a better place.
As he kept talking, this whole new light shone above him, and it was like I was finally seeing him for who he truly was.
He was showing me the rawest parts of himself, and I couldn’t help but admire how much bravery it took for him to be so honest and show me his emotional scars.
I couldn’t breathe properly, because there was this desperate need I had to be near him.
To somehow show him he could lean on me.
That I was someone he could depend on. Without thinking, I straddled him and gave him a fierce hug.
He rested his head against my chest, and we stayed quiet for a few minutes.
His breaths were heavy, and the way he wrapped his arms around my waist was like he was doing everything in his power to anchor himself.
The proximity alone had my heart wanting to leap out of my chest, and my body buzzed with energy, but I didn’t dare move.
There was something so comforting about the moment, like our silence said more than words ever could.
I admired this man. I’d found a new respect for him, and I wanted to protect him with everything I had.
He sniffled, his eyes rimmed red and shining as they met mine. “That’s why I created Willow House.”
I nodded as my fingers brushed the soft strands of his hair.
“There are not enough words in the world I can use to properly express how angry I am that you experienced something so horrible.” My thumb caressed his jaw.
“What you’re doing to help people is something you should be proud of.
Why don’t you share this with your friends?
Your family? The world? They’d be so proud, and they would love to help, too. You know this.”
He shook his head. “I stay anonymous for a reason. And it’s why we make volunteers sign NDAs so the word doesn’t get out.
I don’t want the spotlight, the bad things I’ve done in my career, to overshadow the great place Willow House is, because you know how the media works.
It’s not a risk I’m willing to take. We do many great things already without my name being attached to it. ”
I nodded in understanding, but there was a question nagging at me. The air was thick with tension, but honesty was important to me. “So why do you act the way you do in front of the media? It’s clear to me that’s not who you are.”
His laugh was short and bitter. “That is a whole other topic I’m not sure you’re ready to hear.”
I cradled his face in the palms of my hands, forcing him to look at me. He was so…goddamn beautiful, but his eyes looked so sad, and lost, it broke my heart into a million pieces. “There’s nothing you can say that can scare me off. I promise.”
He let out a long sigh, relaxing his shoulders.
“I’ve always struggled with my anger, but I didn’t want to be like my father and take it out on the people I care about.
So fighting on the ice, putting it all out there, seemed like the best way to cope at the time.
” He cringed, pursing his lips to the side.
“I was young and stupid, and that bad boy persona stuck with me, so I rolled with it until it became the norm. A mask I could easily slip into when shit got too real or when people wanted to see that part of me. When I got traded to the Strikers, I vowed to take a step away from it, because it was—is—a toxic coping mechanism. But then Holt happened and…” His fingertips started to brush my legs, ever so softly.
“Well, you know the rest. And I promise you, Kenny, when you handed me my ass in that locker room the night I got ejected, I was ready to take responsibility for everything.” His eyes shifted, darkening into a stormy blue.
“But my father has this fucked-up cosmic timing, and he texted me before the interview, and the pent-up anger I’ve tried to work through for years came rushing back tenfold.
It was like I was a useless twelve-year-old boy all over again.
” He let out a hollow laugh, the kind that held more pain than amusement.
“It sounds like a lame excuse, I know. But it’s something I couldn’t control.
I wish my father had no power over me, but in a way, he still does, and I beat myself up about it every single day. ”
Wow. I was breathless; speechless. Words were hard to form, so all I managed to say was, “I’m sorry.”
His eyes met mine with confusion.
“I always thought you were this cocky, hot-headed hockey player for no reason. I was quick to judge you without knowing the whole story, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. You saw what I wanted to show you, but now…” His voice lowered to a whisper. “Things have changed.”
“Yeah?” I croaked. My body lit up from the inside out with hope. Because I wished, with all my heart, he was talking about us.
I didn’t know how or when it happened, but somehow I went from not being able to stand being near him to searching for him the moment we were in the same room, like there was this gravitational pull that pushed us together.
Funny how life works, isn’t it? It’s fickle. One day, you’re not even thinking about that person, and the next, you can’t remember what it felt like before they made you feel everything.
He nodded. “I want to be honest with you. I’m far from perfect, but I am trying every fucking day of my life to be better. Just be patient with me, okay?”
I rested the palm of my hand on his jaw, caressing it with my thumb back and forth ever so lightly. “I think you’ve been doing a pretty good job.”
He shot me a half-smile. “It’s all because of you.”
I let out a disbelieving laugh. “Me?”
His intense blue-gray eyes met mine, and they were earnest and shone so brightly when he said, “There’s this sunshine you radiate that makes my rainy days better. I don’t know how you do it, but please”—his voice cracked, barely more than a whisper—“don’t ever stop.”
My eyes welled with involuntary tears, and my heart tightened like I’d just been handed something fragile and terrifying, but beautiful.
I’m… I’m his sunshine?
I’d never been anyone’s source of goodness.
I’d never been anyone’s light. For most of my life, people only wanted me on their terms, and I became compliant with it.
Became a doll they could rebuild to their liking, over and over again.
Afraid that if I didn’t allow it, they would never stay. That they would always leave me.
When I thought back about how much I let people walk all over me, I got angry. It was a stupid, useless thing to do. Because with Henry, I’d only been myself. Unapologetically and without doubt. He saw me. Better yet, he appreciated me despite all of my flaws.
“I don’t know what to say.” My voice was tight, and it hurt to talk due to the lump that was lodged in my throat.
“You don’t need to say anything.”
“I promise every word you told me will stay between us,” I said, wanting to make sure he understood he could wholeheartedly trust me.
“I trust you.”
I let out a wistful sigh. “Good.” I patted his face playfully. “I’m going to go, you have morning skate tomorrow, and you need to rest.”
He gripped my thighs, keeping me in place. “Can you stay? Please. I just—”
I interrupted him. “Absolutely.”
He didn’t need to explain anything. He needed the company, and honestly? I was hoping he’d ask.
His smile was so blinding, it made my heart leap with excitement. Knowing I was his source of happiness should have been terrifying, but instead, it just felt…right. Meant to be.
He stretched out on the bed, and I nestled against him, my head on his chest. His arm wrapped around me as our legs instinctively tangled together. My hand rested against his abdomen, where I started to draw intricate patterns, wanting to feel every part of his skin.
He buried his nose in my hair and took a deep breath, letting out a long, wistful sigh. My breathing slowed, my eyes growing heavy after such a long, exhausting day. And just as sleep pulled me under, I swore I heard Henry whisper, “Thank you for being the safest place I’ve ever known.”