29. Cory
Chapter twenty-nine
Cory
XX DON'T CALL HER!! XX
XX DON'T CALL HER!! XX: The show last night was amazing.
XX DON'T CALL HER!! XX: I really hoped you might come, even to just say hi to the students.
I scowl at my phone as I make my way from the subway station to Mom and Dad's place. How do they do that? How do exes always know when you're finally getting the hang of being alone? When you've finally admitted that you'll have to watch the Netflix show you started together by yourself?
I didn't go to the show last night. I couldn't . Not when she ripped my heart out almost two months ago and hasn't called since. I wasn't even going to keep volunteering at the center until Tiffany called me the first day I was a no-show and swore she'd find a time for me to come when neither Denise nor Maya would be there. The center needed the help. Those kids needed help. I wasn't going to let my messy bullshit get in the way of giving back.
I'm sure that's what everyone thinks. That Denise quit me, so I quit volunteering. Let them think that. I know I'm not what they say I am. That I'm not as selfish or cold, despite a few slip-ups every now and again.
Last night, I got as far as the door to the center. I was intentionally late, and planned to stand in the back where no one would catch sight of me. After running into two students making out and sending them on their way with a stern warning,—I'd channeled my dad for that, seeing as I actually thought it was pretty funny—I saw Denise through the cafeteria doors.
The long braids were gone, replaced by smaller braids in a short bob that danced around her ears with every step. She was beaming, flitting to and fro to keep everything organized and on track. She was clearly made to do this. I knew in that moment that I couldn't watch her and not try to win her back. She's still the only woman besides my mom I've ever loved. Probably the only woman I ever will love.
I ran back down the steps, out the door, and downstairs to the subway. I got on the first train that came, not even checking the line or direction. Hours passed as I rode in silence, occasionally switching lines or directions until I ended up in Canarsie. Fucking Canarsie ! When I finally snapped out of it, the cab ride home was more than sixty bucks and it was past midnight.
I frown at my phone again and slide it back into my pocket. I won't crack. Not after all this time. If she can drop me at the drop of a hat, all because she's scared, how on earth are we supposed to go the distance? No. It's better just to eat the loss and move on. Even if it kills me.
"Oooh, hello, my beautiful boy!" Mom says when she opens the door. She hugs me tightly, squeezing the breath from my chest, and I soak up the much needed love and affection.
"Hi, Mom," I return, giving her back a small pat. Once I manage to disengage myself, I wander towards the smell of delicious food and the sound of laughter. My brothers are all already here, surrounding a table full of cajun classics: a massive pot of gumbo, crawfish étouffée, red beans and rice, and fried okra.
Maya is here; she comes any time she's not up against a deadline making merch for It's Personal, which, lately, is almost every week. Now Camila is here too. All those years working with my brother and he never once had her over. He'd be happy to keep hoarding her to himself at his place in Westchester, but once they got engaged, Mom insisted she come.
I paste a smile on my face for the happy couples, though seeing their happiness and love is slowly killing me inside.
"Whattup, bro!" Damon shouts across the table. "My stomach was about to start eating itself before you showed up."
I give him the finger, which earns me a slap to the back of the head from Dad.
"Ouch, Dad! My bad."
Dad gives me a look that says "cut the shit", but softens when Mom comes from the kitchen with a plate of cornbread rolls. She definitely has his heart. She always has. Despite the Bachelor Pact my brothers and I made, we grew up surrounded by love and support, with parents that were true models of commitment and sacrifice. Why, then, were we all so scared of it?
Mom takes her seat next to Dad and looks around the table, her smile warming each of us.
"It's beautiful to see so many new faces at dinner each week. Our family is growing, and I couldn't be happier to see all of my sons find love."
Damon snickers.
"Not all of us, Mom. Noah, Cory and I are all still happy to play the field."
"Speak for yourself," I mutter without thinking. When I look up, I see everyone has matching gobsmacked expressions on their faces. Great. Now my love life is going to be the topic all through dinner.
"It's nothing," I say, waving my hands. "Forget I said anything. Adam, can you pass the rolls?"
Adam hands over the rolls with a mischievous grin, but Mom intercepts them.
"I don't think so, Cory. Am I to understand that you have someone special in your life?"
The hopeful expression on her face is equal parts heartbreaking and amusing. Mom has been hard up for grandbabies ever since Henry graduated law school. I guess she thought he'd finally settle down then. Unfortunately for her, she had to wait almost a decade more for one of us to get serious with a woman, let alone get her pregnant. Though I did notice Maya's wine glass was conspicuously empty.
"No, Mom. Nothing like that. I just meant that I think I'm done playing the field. I mean," I gesture to Adam and Henry, "look at them. They found someone and they both look the happiest I've ever seen them."
Both Adam and Henry nestle closer to their women, but Noah almost growls.
"Good for them. Don't get me wrong; I love Maya and Camila. But that doesn't work for everyone. Some of us prefer to travel light ."
Noah's words make Camila roll her eyes, Dad and Henry groan, and Damon snort around a mouth full of gumbo. That man never stops eating.
"Comparing women to luggage may be why you're not having any luck with them," I quip, before taking a drink of my wine. Maya almost chokes, and Henry, Dad, and Adam all wear unreadable expressions. No doubt they didn't expect such a sentiment from me .
"Whoa!" Noah rears back. "Since when are you some love guru?"
"Yeah," Damon finally chimes in. "Last time I was in town, you were clubbing and going to movie premiers with Noah just as much as I was."
I sigh and put down my fork. It's hard; Cajun Night is my favorite.
"Yeah, well. A lot can happen in a year," I mutter, really wishing I'd kept my big mouth shut. I can still feel everyone's eyes on me.
"Go on," Mom says encouragingly. "What happened a year ago?"
I sigh again, resigned to the fact that I'll have to spill my guts about everything. Even Bethany.
"A few months before Adam brought Maya to dinner that first time, I started seeing a woman I work with. Bethany."
Almost everyone is silent in the wake of my bombshell. Everyone but Damon.
"Wait a second. You broke the pact?"
"Yeah, I broke the pact," I bark. "It was a stupid pact made by a bunch of knucklehead high school kids who didn't know shit about love or relationships." Dad clears his throat. "Sorry, Dad."
"Anyway," I continue, "Bethany and I were getting pretty serious. We had lunch together most days and were going out almost every week."
"Did you know about this?" Damon asks Noah, who shakes his head.
"No one knew," I say. "We were taking things slow." I slump against my chair. "We were , at least, until my boss found out and said I had to stop seeing her. Said she reflected poorly on me and Banks Ripley, and that if I stayed with her, not only would I lose clients, I might lose out on that promotion I was gunning for."
Dad scoots his chair back from the table, outraged.
"That is both deplorable and illegal . I hope you told that boss what he could do with his unsolicited opinions and reported him to HR."
I shake my head, the guilt of my inaction that day coming back in full force.
"Banks Ripley isn't exactly the 'report him to HR' kind of place. It's vicious and cutthroat, and I wouldn't trust any of my colleagues to help or understand if money was on the line."
"So you broke up with her," Maya murmurs. From the look on her face, I can tell she's already figured out what happened next.
"I did. I thought it was the only way to keep my head above water at the firm. But I regretted it. I regret it every day. But not nearly as much as I regret spewing my boss's words at you that first night." I turn to Maya and force myself to look into her eyes. "I was hurting, but that's no excuse. What I said to you, about you, was way out of line."
Maya cocks her head, as if seeing me for the first time. Henry, too, looks a little confused.
"Is that also why you were such a douche when I started seeing Camila?" he asks. Camila looks questioningly at Henry, then me, then back to Henry. Apparently, this is new information for her.
"Yes. I was a jerk to all of you because I got my brand new heart broken on the first try," I admit, feeling some of the weight lift from my chest.
"You haven't been so bad lately," Adam says, pulling my attention from my lap to his understanding eyes. "You even went to talk to Damon when we all thought he'd gone off the deep end."
"Hey!" Damon protests.
"That's because he was seeing someone new," Maya interjects. Oh, shit. I'd been hoping that look on her face earlier was forgiveness. "My best friend, Denise," she finishes.
Adam switches from understanding to shocked in less than a second.
"Denise?!" he chokes out. "You've been seeing Denise? For how long?"
"Since our wedding," Maya answers before I can. I assumed she never told Adam to keep the peace, but she looks almost gleeful to spill the proverbial tea now.
"Since our wedding?!" Adam sputters. "That's my wife's best friend , dude. Keeping your hands off her should go without saying."
"Well, that won't be a problem since she dumped me just a few weeks after I got her to agree to be with me for real," I snarl, aiming my rage at Maya before taking a deep breath and dropping my gaze. No matter what she said, Maya didn't make Denise dump me. She did that all on her own.
"I'm sorry to hear that, son," Dad offers. As strict as he can be with us, we all know he's a big softie at heart.
"Yeah," I say. "I'm 0 for 2 in the relationship game. But that doesn't mean I suddenly forget how worthwhile they can be. Noah? Damon?" I look them each in the eye. "Drop the stupid pact. We're too old to still pretend we want to spend our lives alone. None of us are 22 anymore."
"…For what it's worth," Maya cuts in, breaking the awkward silence that had settled over the table, "I think it might be too early to speak about Denise in the past tense."
I jerk my head to look at Maya, who has a small smile on her face.
"What?"
"She can be a hothead, and she's one of the most stubborn people I know, but when we talked last night at the show, it seemed like some feelings are still there." She picks up her fork and takes a bite of étouffée before adding, "I can't believe you didn't come, by the way. That would've been the perfect chance to win her back."
"Why would Cory come to a show at the rec center?" Adam asks. Maya looks at all my brothers, confused.
"Because he'd been helping Denise with the fashion design workshop for weeks leading up to the show." Everyone's eyes widen at that nugget of information. She looks at Adam and winces. "Did I forget to mention that?"
"I'm sure Tiffany is going to try to rope you into continuing now that the show's over," Maya says, just to me. I smile in response.
"She already has. I've actually been coming in for some of the after-school time slots to avoid any awkward run-ins."
"It's like I don't even know you anymore," Noah says. "Last year, he was a devout player, and now he's coming out of two relationships? He stiffs us for the bill on drinks after our games, but, in his spare time, he gives back to the community through a fashion workshop ?" Noah looks like he might blow a gasket. "How can both be true?"
"I guess I'm just a complex guy," I smirk, and Dad coughs around his obvious laughter.
"While we're dropping bombshells," Damon starts hesitantly.
"Oh, no!" Noah interrupts. "I can't take anymore surprises." But Damon forges on.
"I'm not just back for the summer. I was released from my contract. I'm home for good."
"Oooh!" Mom gasps and grabs hold of Dad for support. "Please don't tell me you're joking." Tears are welling in her eyes.
"I'm not joking," Damon confirms. "I have a tiny place in Alphabet City while I'm getting situated, then I'm going to have to…figure out my next step, I guess."
Mom rushes over to Damon and hugs him with such force, his chair almost falls over.
"Right on, man," Adam says with a smile. "You being gone most of the year was getting really old."
"You're telling me," Damon says. Mom is still attached to him like a barnacle.
Looking around the table, I feel like the Grinch when his heart grew three sizes. I might not have Denise, but love and joy surround me. For now, it's enough.