8. Elle
Tossing a suitcase onto my bed, flipped it open, trying to ignore the two bodies that were laying head to toe of each other watching me intently, I went about my packing.
Pulling open my underwear draw I sorted through the items, pulling out sets of bras and panties. Making a spur of the moment decision I decided to grab a black bikini I was yet to wear since buying it.
“Bikini?” Gisele asked surprised, “I thought this was a drinking and shopping weekend.”
“Well sticky nose, the hotel we have booked in has a pool and gym,” I explained trying in vain to keep the sarcasm to a minimum. Grabbing some work out leggings and tank top, I turned around and waved them at her. “See I’m taking gym clothes too.”
“Are you planning on taking that pretty white lace dress by any chance?” Claudia asked way too innocently. I was well aware that Claudia wanted to borrow it, and I will let her just not until I get to wear it first.
“Nope, and yes you can borrow but wait for me to wear it first Claude.” I replied sternly. My sisters and I were all close to the same size in clothes and footwear. It wasn’t uncommon for me to find some of my clothes in their wardrobes, and vice versa. We shared each other’s clothes, pinched each other’s clothes and sometimes we kept them.
“Are you seeing your solicitor while you are in the city Ellie?” Gisele asked me, changing the subject.
“I am,” I confirmed, folding the white dress that Claudia coveted and putting it in my suitcase, just in case she gets any ideas. “I have a meeting at 1pm today with her to sign all the papers that will see the end of my marriage. I’m also changing my will, removing Jake from my life once and for all.” I announced happily. Maybe I was being a little too cavalier about the end of Jake and me, but if I showed my real feelings my sisters would get all over me and treat me like I was fragile or something.
I was not fragile.
I was a Blessing!
I was however very … sad. Sad that I couldn’t make my marriage work. Sad that Jake didn’t see me as enough for him. Sad that I wasn’t enticing enough for him to stay faithful. Sad that the truth of my marriage became public knowledge. Sad that my family were now worried about me.
Why did he stray?
What was so wrong with me?
Walking back into my dressing room, I grabbed a pair of sneakers, a pair of sandals and two pairs of heels. One stiletto and one wedged. The white dress could go with either shoe, but I liked having options depending on my mood at the time.
Aware of the eyes on me when I returned with the shoes, I gave in to the stares. Throwing the items in the case I flopped down on the bed with a heavy sigh.
“I promise you I am okay,” I said looking at both my sisters, “Is it hard? Yes, it is. I’m ending my marriage. The man I married turned out to be a completely different person than the one I married.”
“Different?” Claudia grumbled, “he is a drug dealer and a cheat!”
“And he stole from you and destroyed your home!” Gisele added, her face red and angry.
“I know chickee, I was the one who found it that way,” I reminded her dryly. The memory of that night and what I saw was going to take a long time for me to forget. Every time I closed my eyes at night all I saw in my head was my poor Dutch laying on the carpet his tiny body all twisted.
I hated Jake for that more than anything else he did. He knew how much I loved my little dog; he knew by doing what he did how it would hurt me. I had the money to replace my possessions he ruined but there was no replacing Dutch.
Ever.
Jake knew I wouldn’t. It was as if he wanted me to be alone forever. To suffer forever.
“Ellie, I’m worried you aren’t dealing with what has happened properly,” Claudia said in a quiet voice, “Do you really need to have this girl’s weekend now? Can’t you wait until after all the legal work is final? That way there will be something to celebrate and Gissy and I can come with you.”
“We are just worried about you chickee,” Gisele cut in, giving me a serious look. “You always think you have to be the strong one, but sometimes it’s okay to not be okay, okay?”
My mind reeled with all the okay’s Gisele got into one sentence, but I understood where she was coming from. I was the oldest therefore I was always the sensible one. The reliable one. The in-control sister. We balanced each other out with our own personal strengths and weaknesses. This time however, I needed to do something now not later.
Now.
Grabbing hold of Gisele’s hand, I held it tight. Claudia offered me her and I held hers too.
“Ladies, I know you have my back, and that you are worried. But sometimes you can’t fix a problem for me. This is something I have to deal with myself. It isn’t easy for me to admit that I failed as a wife, that today I sign divorce papers.” Taking in a deep cleansing breathe I gave my sisters my best smile.
“I need to do this now. We can still do our own weekend another time, but for right now I need to leave for a couple of days, get the legal work out of the way and then drink.”
“And maybe hook-up with a sexy stranger? Have a one-night stand?” Claudia suggested wiggling her brows at me, making me laugh at her silliness.
“Maybe I will,” I answered thinking that some hot sex with no strings attached might be exactly what I need. I was a woman with certain needs after all. It was not that I didn’t like sex, I did. It was Jake who didn’t like having sex with me.
We hadn’t always been like that. Obviously, we had been in love with each other at some point because otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten married. The problem was after we married Jake wanted to leave Blessings and move to the city. I refused to leave my family and slowly Jake started to resent that. He hated the close relationship between me and my sisters, he hated what he called Georgina’s interference, that he couldn’t understand why my family lived in each other’s back pockets.
Jake didn’t come from a family like mine. His parents liked the social climbing style of life. Jock and Georgina Blessing weren’t the kind of people they liked to socialise with, his mother couldn’t get along with mine and his dad was scared shitless of Jock. Therefore, they constantly complained to their son to join them in the city. When I kept refusing, Jake eventually gave up asking and instead would take off by himself. It began with just overnight stays and gradually became weekend trips and then weekly disappearances. Our sex life suffered and before I knew it, we were strangers sharing a dwelling.
I took blame for most of our problems because Jake said they were my fault. It was my family that interfered, my family had more of my time than his. That I prioritised my family over him.
Maybe I did do all those things he accused me of. So what? Did that give him the right to burgle my home and kill my dog?
No God damn it.
Feeling my temper and rage towards Jake resurface, I quickly kissed each sisters’ cheeks then rolled off the bed.
“Right enough of this.” I said firmly with a slash of my arm in front of me. “I’m sick of thinking about Jake Cunningham. I’m tired of dwelling on things I have no control over. This weekend will consist of copious amounts of alcoholic cocktails, dancing and having some fun.”
Determined to stay true to my plan, I stomped into my en-suite and rummaged through the draws until I found what I was looking for.
“See!” I shouted triumphantly, “condoms!” Throwing a ribbon of ten condoms into my case on top of my clothes.
“Ten hey Ellie, wow,” Claudia chuckled, Gisele too was chuckling at my over-the-top gesture, but still she said nothing to bring down my mood.
“You never know, Gissy. This weekend might be my time to shine.”
Whether I believed that or not wasn’t my point. My point was I wanted everyone to stop tiptoeing around me. Jake was in jail awaiting his trial. There was no doubt he was going to do very serious time behind bars.
My mobile phone pinged on the bedside table, giving me an excuse to break the weird tension that was surrounding me. I loved my sisters but right now enough was enough. Being so closely watched was doing my head in more than what Jake had done to me.
Picking up my phone I saw a text from Dani stating she would be here in five minutes.
Perfect!
“Dani is on her way,” I announced clicking my fingers. “Come on ladies, help me get this down the stairs.” I said, effectively changing the subject.
Something we all were good at doing.