10. Josh
“Josh!” I heard my wife shout the second the front door banged open. “Joshua!”
Full name, which meant I was possibly in trouble. Getting up from my comfortable spot on the couch, turning off the tv with the remote, I went in search of my clearly upset wife.
“Sweetheart?” I called out, walking into the kitchen to find Claudia gulping milk from the carton. Unusual behaviour from my very proper wife.
“You shouted my gorgeous thirsty wife.”
Dropping the carton from her mouth, Claudia then slammed it down on the kitchen bench. “Josh why didn’t you tell me I am an emotional mess and eating like a pig and getting fat?”
Wow.
Picking my words carefully, I slowly crept towards my wife and turned her, so she wasn’t within reach of the knife block on the bench.
Just in case.
“Umm, Claudia you are starting to scare me,” I said taking her into my arms, “what the hell is going on?”
Claudia’s body instantly melted into mine, her body relaxing despite her current state. I deduced quickly that it had to have something to do with her mother and Gisele. I could eliminate Elle considering she was an hour away in Gracefield.
“Mother or sister?” I asked knowingly.
“Both,” Claudia sighed into my chest her breathe warm through the thin material of my shirt. Smoothing my hands in slow circles on her back, I waited for Claudia to get her thoughts together. Pushing my wife was a useless waste of time. My wife was stubborn, hard-headed and a Blessing. She did things in her own time and admitted weakness only as a last resort and there were no more excuses available to her.
Waiting was my best play.
Suddenly, shockingly Claudia started sniffling, I felt wetness on my shirt.
“Baby?” I asked, gently pulling her off me so I could see her face. What I saw broke my fucking heart.
Huge tears, real tears slid down her cheeks, and in her eyes, I saw real fear.
“Claudia, what’s wrong baby?” again I asked desperate to find out then fix what was wrong with my gorgeous wife.
Claudia was not a crier. She was very much like Elle when it came to keeping her emotions in check. Oh, she had no problems showing her displeasure and anger, Claudia’s temper was quite the sight to see. Tears, however, were few and far between. Gisele had gotten that gene. So, seeing my wife in tears about wrecked me.
“Josh, I think I’m … I might be … pregnant,” Claudia whispered brokenly through her tears.
My heart jerked in my chest at the thought of Claudia carrying my baby, but I also understood why Claudia was so frightened at the prospect she might be pregnant.
We dealt with the loss of our first baby together. We went to a therapist together, we mourned together, and we got through that loss together. It was a hard process, but we came out the other side stronger than ever. But it was Claudia who suffered and felt the loss more than I had. She carried the baby; she felt the pain of the miscarriage physically.
Sure, I could put myself in her shoes, but I had no way of really knowing what she went through in her mind during those months afterwards.
Pushing down my own spark of hope, I concentrated on Claudia.
“Why do you think that baby?”
Rolling her eyes at me, I fought to suppress my grin. Now was not the time to rile up my wife’s temper.
“I’m fat, and I cry at the drop of a hat,” she groaned woefully, and this time I had no chance fighting off my grin.
“Who said you are fat?” I demanded, pretending to be outraged. I knew there was some embellishing in that statement just like I knew who had put her in this mood. I left out the crying, it had not escaped me that my wife had indeed become more emotional lately.
“Mum did,” she huffed, “Well she didn’t actually use the word fat, but it was implied,” Claudia backtracked hotly.
Now the picture was looking a lot clearer. All I needed to confirm was one more thing before I went any further.
“Baby, don’t you think it’s time to take that test now?” I asked my wife in a gentle non-probing tone.
Tread carefully Josh . I reminded myself, I had to make it look like that it was her decision not mine or Georgina’s.
God forbid.
Standing in silence with my wife looking up at me, I watched with utter fascination as Claudia’s blue eyes changed from sea blue to deep blue to a brilliant sapphire shade as she mulled over her decision. I loved seeing my wife’s eyes dance with different colours of blue depending on her mood. It was like a window into her soul, each colour a different emotion. The seconds kept ticking but I remained silent and patient, waiting for Claudia to make up her mind. If she still wanted to wait the week out, I would go along with her, but if she said yes …
Finally, Claudia gave me what I was looking for. Her brilliant radiant smile.
Without waiting to ask if her smile meant yes, I quickly swung her up into my arms and ran up the stairs, Claudia giggling all the way, her tears only moments ago now gone.
Yep, these mood swings are going to kill me.
Racing through our bedroom I headed straight for our en-suite, stopping long enough to deposit Claudia on the closed toilet seat before turning to rummage through the vanity drawers until I found what I was looking for.
“Pee!” I demanded handing the box to her, then folded my arms over my chest.
“Just like that hey Josh. Pee?” Claudia said with a click of her fingers. I knew stalling tactics; in fact, I was very familiar with how my wife’s brain worked.
“If you need a glass of water then I can get you one, but you will be peeing on that stick gorgeous, and I will be here the whole time you do.” Standing firm, I stared my wife down. Peeing in front of each other wasn’t a problem for me or her, so that excuse was out. Raising my brows at her, I tapped my foot against the hard tiles, waiting.
It didn’t take long for Claudia to give in, standing up, Claudia broke open the test and scanned the instructions. I knew this step was not necessary given the amount we’d used in the past, but I let it slide.
After reading the paper, Claudia dropped her jeans then her panties, flipped the seat cover up and sat back down. All done with glaring eyes and attitude.
“Suck it up buttercup.” I glared back not getting sucked into any bickering. If Claudia was carrying my baby, I wanted to know so I could make sure that this time nothing bad happened. Going through that hell again was not on my bucket list.
I watched without embarrassment as Claudia did her business, then took the stick from her once she replaced the plastic cover and put it on the vanity while she redressed and washed her hands. As soon as she was finished, I opened my arms for my wife, Claudia let out a deep shuddering sigh as she fell into my chest my arms immediately folded around her.
“Three minutes baby,” I whispered softly into her ear, “then all the worry will be over.” I said soothing Claudia’s nerves the best way I could. I kept in the back of my mind the miscarriage had caused no damage to Claudia physically, that there was no reason for us to have problems getting pregnant again.
Claudia didn’t speak, didn’t answer me, she just stayed silent waiting for the longest three minutes I have ever experienced in my life. Holding my arm over the back of Claudia’s head and took a look at my watch. “It’s time baby,” I said quietly, letting my arms fall so I could turn to look at the test on the vanity. Claudia remained still; her body still pressed firmly into mine.
“You look Joshy,” my wife whispered, her voice shaky, her fists grabbing hold of my shirt. Letting out a chuckle, my wife liked to show her strong side, but it was only a few she showed the side that was scared. I was on top of that list.
Leaning over, I looked down at the white plastic stick and blinked, then blinked again. My mind racing to comprehend what I was seeing.
“Your heart is going a million miles, Josh. What is it? It’s negative, isn’t it?” Claudia asked me, feeling her heavy breathing through my shirt.
Dropping the stick, I wrapped my arms around my wife, my face going straight to that soft place on her neck and took in a deep breath of my own.
Tears burnt the back of my eyes as I shook my head.
“Gorgeous, we are having a baby,” I croaked into her skin, overwhelmed with so much emotion the tears I felt were now spilling down my cheeks and into Claudia’s beautiful hair. “We did it baby.” I said getting control of myself. Pulling back, I held Claudia’s shocked face between my palms and smiled wide.
“We did it?” she asked her eyes filling back up again this time with happy tears.
“Fucking oath we did. We are having a baby!” I shouted throwing my head back letting out a loud cry of Yee-haw.