27. Gigi
I could not believe what I was hearing. My three daughters keeping something so important from me, discussing options like it was conversation for a tea party. The fact that Gisele and Claudia knew that Elle was pregnant, and I didn’t sat in the pit of my stomach like one of Jock’s grandmother’s ginger fluff sponges.
How his mother learnt to cook as well as she did was one of life’s mysteries considering everything her mother cooked tasted like what I imagined industrial waste would taste like if one was to try it.
Feeling a head of steam brewing, I walked into the lounge room leaving a shocked Jock and my amused son-in-law standing speechless in the foyer.
I had no problems with speaking, however.
“Just when do you think you were going to tell me about your news Elle Blessing? And in what world did you think such a decision can be made without your family around you for support? And why on earth is this end table not at the end of something? Has the whole world gone to hell? Well will one of you speak for the love of Mary our mother in heaven?” I ranted, staring at all three girls, spitting mad and not afraid to show it.
They should know better!
It was Claudia who stood forward, her hands out front of her like she was trying to calm down a rabid dog. Elle’s mouth gapped open like one of those amusement park clowns and Gisele was staring at the end table like it was a redback spider that didn’t belong.
No shit it didn’t belong there.
“Now Gigi, dial it down a few notches, we weren’t keeping it from you per say. We all only found out yesterday when Ellie took the test. She is still getting used to the idea as you heard, so back it down before you do some damage and have a stroke or something.”
Leave it to my middle argumentative offspring to go head to head with me. The trouble with Claudia was she was too much like me, she never backed down a day in her life, so it was laughable to me now that she was asking me to.
“Claudia don’t sass me chickee, this is definitely not the time for one of your friendly lectures,” I warned her hanging onto my temper by a thread. My oldest was pregnant and I wanted to know who was responsible.
“Jake? Is it Jake’s? Elle because if it is?—”
“Mum it’s not Jake’s,” Gisele interrupted me, making my blood boil even more. My daughters knew I despised being interrupted, and by the apologetic look on her face she was remembering that fact.
“Sorry mother, but someone had to stop you. This is not what Elle needs at the moment, what she needs is time to think?—”
“What she needs is her mother,” I said giving back as good as Gisele, “now everybody out so I can talk to my eldest child please.” I rarely said please other than when manners demanded it, but today was not the day for manners.
Today, I wanted explanations from Elle and Elle only.
“Shoo!” I shouted then took Elle by the hand and lead her to the kitchen, I knew that Jock would do my bidding and get the girls to their own homes, then seeing Miracle in the back yard I shouted to my darling husband. “Jock, chickee is in the backyard.”
“On it my love,” he assured me, diverting through the hallway to the back door in the laundry, avoiding the kitchen like the good husband he is. There was one thing about being married to the same man for thirty years, the hard yards were done, Jock was trained exactly how I wanted and he in turn had no complaints whatsoever when it came to me. He let me have control simply because we thought the same way, we had the same family values and he lived by the code happy wife, happy life. It worked for us and no one else’s opinion was welcome.
My love for my Jock was vaster than the deepest ocean, more than there were stars in the universe. There was nothing I would not do for him as long as it didn’t compromise what I wanted to do. It worked for us for thirty years and I had strong faith we would be together another fifty.
Secure in the love my husband felt for me, I readied the kettle for a soothing cup of tea before getting stuck into my first born. Starting with why she thought she could not tell me, her own mother, that she was knocked up and that was scared. I would never give them reason to fear me.
Over my dead lifeless body.
Elle sat down at the kitchen bench with a heavy sigh, I could tell she didn’t want to have this conversation or any other with me but that was tough titties. After what happened at the grocery a few days ago, mine and Jock’s protective nature had gone to defcon one and while Elle had not suffered at the hands of the two masked men, she was still dealing with the stress Jake brought to her life recently. Add to that what I just learnt, and I was in full mumma bear mode.
Setting a cup of hot tea for Elle and a cup of coffee for me, I stood on the opposite side to her.
“I’m going to ask questions and you are going to answer them,” I told her sternly, “and leave out the attitude chickee because trust me you do not want to push me right now.”
Elle just nodded, my eldest might be head strong and stubborn but she was not silly either, she knew when to be serious. Like now.
So, I started.
“You’re pregnant?”
“I believe so.”
A bit of attitude but I will let it slide … for now.
“Do you know who the father is?”
“Just his first name.”
“So, you are telling me it was a fling of sorts?”
“A one night stand.”
So not like you Elle Naomi.
I wasn’t disappointed about her having sex, a hook up, fling or a one night stand, that was the least of my worries.
“I’m gathering the protection used failed in some shape or form?” I asked willing her to say yes.
“We got caught up in the moment and forgot it.”
Suddenly my heart sank. I knew Elle was healthy, but the stranger was a different story. How could she be so idiotic!
“Stupidity and you don’t usually go together Ellie,” I scolded her gently, my temper under control only because I had never seen my daughter so out of sorts. Ever. Not even when Jake went ‘missing’ and the subsequent events leading to his arrest.
“I know, it was a brain fart I’m now paying for,” Elle replied miserably, alarming me more.
“Elle, do you intend on?—”
“No Mum!” she cried vehemently, angrily, desperately.
Some of my temper deflated hearing Elle’s strong denial, not that I was opposed to options or chooses and people’s rights, but not when it came to one of my grandchildren.
Walking around the bench, I sat on the stool next to Elle’s, getting close enough to feel the slight tremble in her legs.
“Talk to me Elle, tell me why you think you won’t make a good mother?” I asked her softly, keeping my tone as neutral as possible.
“Mum, I don’t have what Gissy and Claudia have. I have no desire to pass on my DNA, there is no compelling need to carry a child.” Elle explained, her voice cracking, her anguish was palpable, and as her mother, I felt it right down to my bones. My children were and will always be my greatest achievement. I took pride in being the mother of the three most beautiful creatures ever born. My career in modelling might have taken me far had I continued, meeting Jock changed everything including the direction my life took. Being a wife and mother had never been a priority at eighteen, yet it was the most full-filling and the most important role of my life. Elle could not see that right now; her mind was clouded with fear and trepidation. Her heart was endless, the way she was with Miracle showed everyone who knew her that. Being married to Jake had jaded her, that I was sure of and the only reason why she didn’t believe she could mother a child of her own.
“You don’t know that until it happens Elle,” I assured confident I was right. “No woman sees the test for the first time without some kind of self-doubt. Give yourself time to get used to the idea before pigeonholing yourself as just the fun aunty only. You’re scared sweet chickee and there is nothing wrong with that.”
Elle didn’t say anything, she just looked at me her eyes blank the emotion from minutes ago expertly hidden away in typical Elle fashion.
And that above everything worried me the most.