22. Rule It Out
22
RULE IT OUT
C oy walked to his room and knocked on the bathroom door a month later. “Angel? Are you okay?” She’d been in there for over thirty minutes. He heard a noise and wasn’t sure what it was, knocked again, and then finally said, “I’m coming in.”
He opened the door and saw her sitting on the closed toilet, her head between her hands. He realized the noise was crying.
He was going to rush to her side until he saw what was on the counter and walked over to pick it up.
The word “pregnant” hit him in the gut like an iron fist.
First with shock.
Then with happiness.
But her tears told him they weren’t feeling the same.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. Her blue eyes were filled with tears that just cascaded down her cheeks.
“Hey,” he said, walking over. “Don’t be sorry.”
“I don’t want to be pregnant?—”
He felt sick to his stomach. “You don’t want our child?” he asked. He knew his voice was loud and harsh.
Her face turned red. “I didn’t say that! You didn’t let me finish. I don’t want to be pregnant right now . I didn’t plan it this way. How could this happen?”
He took a few breaths. He was more emotional than ever and knew he was just feeding off of her tears.
“I wore a condom every time,” he said. “Not everything can be as planned.”
“So I’m seeing,” she said.
“How late are you?” he asked, reaching his hand out for hers and pulling her up into his arms. He had to hold her. To calm her. To soothe the racing of his heart.
“Just a few days. I’m never late. I’m not even sure what made me take the test, but there was this feeling in my gut that more or less wanted to rule it out.”
Again, not what he wanted her to say.
“But it didn’t work that way,” he said.
“No,” she said, sniffling again.
“Come sit down,” he said, pulling her out of the bathroom and to his room. They sat on the bed.
“I’m so sick to my stomach over this,” she said.
“Why?” he asked.
“Why?” she asked, throwing her hands in the air. “The list of reasons is endless.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
“You’re not mad?” she asked, frowning.
“Do I look it?” he asked. “I want kids. Lots of kids. Why do you think I’ve got this big house?”
She paled and maybe he should have kept that to himself. “I’m not sure lots of kids have ever been on my radar, but I do want them. Just not now.”
He was having a lot of mixed emotions over this.
“Why?”
“For one, I’ve spent a lot of years in college and racking up a crap load of debt. I just started working. I’m going to be out of work for at least two months. I’m not going to be a stay-at-home mom. I hope you aren’t thinking that and won’t suggest it. I’ve worked too hard to get here.”
Angel was working herself up and all but ready to jump out of her skin with each word. “One,” he said. “I’m not worried about your debt. I can take care of it.”
“No!” she shouted again. “That will just be one more thing people are going to judge me on.”
“No one is going to judge you.”
“What world do you live in, Coy? Of course they are. Everyone is going to say I’ve trapped you. Or I’ve hit it big. I’m going to be tied to a Bond for life. Oh my God, what are your parents going to think?”
Coy tucked her under his arm for the moment. “My mother is going to be thrilled,” he said softly.
They’d told his parents about their relationship on New Year’s Day. They’d gone over after she’d spent the night at his house. His mother had almost started to dance around the room that she’d called it all along. His father only rolled his eyes at his mother and said he was thrilled.
His brothers hadn’t said much at all. He hadn’t seen them since the news came out and guys didn’t normally care all that much.
“Do you really think that?” she asked. “Because I know my mother is going to be shocked and most likely disappointed in me.”
“Stop,” he said. “Things happen. No, we didn’t plan this, but it’s going to be fine. I’m not going to argue with you about the student loans or debt or anything regarding that. Money is not an issue and you’re making a good salary. Since I give it to you, I know. You won’t have any expenses because you can move in here.”
“Coy,” she said. “Do you not hear yourself?”
“I have a voice and I hear it,” he said. “What?”
“I want to be independent for once in my life. I’ve had a few months of it. And now you’re going to take it away from me.”
He let out a sigh. “I’m not taking anything away from you.”
“You want to take charge. I get it. I appreciate it too. But this is my life changing more than yours.”
“You’re wrong,” he said firmly. “And I can’t believe you feel that way. How can you?”
“Oh, I don’t know. The fact that for nine months I’m going to blow up like a balloon and the guy I’ve wanted for years might not even find me attractive when I’ve just started to have sex. I might not even want it during that time. Geez.”
She put her head back in a dramatic fashion and he started to laugh.
She pinned him with a serious look, but he laughed harder. “I’m going to find you even more attractive because it’s going to be my child growing inside of you. Don’t even consider that thought at all.”
“What about sex?” she asked.
“What about it?” he said. “Some women want it even more. You might be one of them.”
“Really?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m not. What else is going on? I said not to worry about the debt and I mean it. My parents are going to be more than fine. I’m sure your parents will come around.”
“Spencer doesn’t even know we are dating yet,” she said.
His best friend was flying in next weekend, late on Friday. Angel was going to come over on Saturday morning and they’d tell Spencer together.
He’d wanted to do it alone and Angel insisted she at least be there for it. He caved and said it might not hurt.
“Then he is going to find out everything next Saturday.”
“My mother mentioned coming when I told her Spencer was going to be here. I think they want to make sure it goes well too.”
“If you want to encourage that, then do it,” he said. “Then you can tell them in person, but that is your choice.”
“I didn’t really want to tell anyone just yet. I’m only a few days late. I haven’t even been to the doctor,” she said.
He wanted to shout it to the world but understood her concern. Especially knowing what Amanda had gone through.
“You can call the doctor on Monday.”
“I don’t even have a doctor here,” she said. “I might not be able to get in.”
“On the island, one of the gynecologists is my cousin Ava.”
“So then one of your family members is going to know when it might just be making the rounds we are dating,” she said. “I don’t think I want to do that. I’ll try to get an appointment in Boston or maybe Plymouth. Wherever I can do it fastest.”
He’d prefer she stayed on the island so she could give birth here too, but it wasn’t something to talk too much about now.
“Whatever makes you comfortable. If you get an appointment, just have them reschedule you at work. It’s easy enough and things happen all the time.”
She sighed. “And that’s another thing. We hadn’t even decided when we were going to tell everyone at work we were dating and now I’m going to have to say I’m pregnant.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “I’m the boss and I don’t care.”
“That is what I mean about nothing changing for you.”
“Don’t go there,” he said. “My body might not be changing, but I’ve got a child coming to care for and support and love. To help take care of. I’m not the type of person to be hands off. No one in my family is.”
She nodded. “We don’t know those things about each other,” she said. “You haven’t even told me how you feel about me.”
Her bottom lip started to crumble.
“Angel, if you don’t know I love you, then I’m sorry. I should have said the words. I know you love me, but everything is so new and I’m letting you try to take the lead in some areas. I know you want to prove to everyone you can do this on your own. That you’ve been watched over and never given much rope to live your life.”
She wiped her tears. “Thank you for that. I appreciate it. You would know because of Spencer. It wasn’t all that bad. I’m being dramatic and I’m sure hormones are playing a part in it,” she said. “My mother has been in my corner and supportive of me for the past four years. My father has been good too. But I’ve still had to rely on them financially for a lot of things.”
He knew her parents paid for her rent and any other expenses she had in dental school. Angel had the loans for the education, which was still several hundreds of thousands of dollars she’d be paying for years.
His parents paid for his and he always knew it. He was lucky and would never take things for granted.
“That isn’t a worry here. And I’m not thinking that you’re with me for those reasons because I can see it in your eyes you’re worried.”
“I am worried,” she said. “No one likes to be judged or talked about. I fell in love with you long before you were even a dentist.”
She put her hand in front of her mouth.
He pulled it away. “I didn’t know how you felt. And don’t worry about saying that. I don’t believe you knew what love was. I’m not holding you to that statement. You had a deep crush and lots of dreams and they are coming true.”
“Not the way I planned,” she argued.
“Some of them are.”
“People might think I’m devious,” she said. “That just occurred to me too.”
“No one is going to think you’re devious or calculated. Don’t think that. You had a crush. I’ve known you for half your life, which everyone is aware of. I think some might find it meant to be that we are together. Kind of one of those fate things on this island.”
“Don’t start sounding like your mother,” she said.
His mother had thrown that word out a few times when he and Angel broke the news of their relationship.
“Sorry,” he said, smiling. “I’m happy. Thrilled. Ecstatic.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. I know this is a new relationship. I know you’re worried about a lot of things. I’m not about anything .”
“It’s so much easier when you’re the guy with all the money and the boss. No one says you’re looking for a free ride or trying to move up in life. That you trapped someone either.”
He shook his head. “I know and I’m sorry. There isn’t anything I can do about any of that. What I can do is be there for you and let you know how much I love you. Be a partner and help you through this. I can try to ease your mind and I hope I have.”
“You have some,” she said. She put her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry if I’m coming off like a whiner.”
“I think you have the right to be. This is a shock and it’s settling in for both of us.”
“I was concerned you’d be mad.”
“Then you don’t know me that well,” he said. He wouldn’t be hurt over that.
“It was silly on my part. But I want to go back to work, Coy. That isn’t going to be up for debate after this child is born.”
“I don’t believe I said anything about you not working. Both Sam and Amanda work and neither of them need to.”
“You just said you want a big family. I don’t want to spend years having kids and trying to figure out how to care for them and work and be there for you too. I’m in what I consider my first serious relationship and I don’t even get to enjoy it now.”
He couldn’t argue with what she was saying because he could understand some of it.
“We are going to work it out as it comes. I want you to let me in. I want you to let me help you. It’s not taking your independence away. It’s us being a good team. If you think that way, we can get through it.”
“I’ll try,” she said.