34. Want To Be Equals
34
WANT TO BE EQUALS
“ U rgh!”
Coy dropped the spoon in his hand and went running toward his room, yelling, “What’s wrong?” when he heard Angel shout three weeks later.
He stopped in the doorway to the laundry room and saw her scowling.
“What?” she asked.
“You shouted,” he said. He noticed the dryer open and his wrinkled clothes that he’d thrown in there this morning when he got out of the shower. He’d forgotten to take them out and fold them.
“No, I didn’t,” she said, reaching in to grab his pants and start to fold them.
“Just pull them all out and put them in the basket,” he said. “I’ll take care of them. And yes, you did shout, or I wouldn’t have come running.”
“Oh,” she said. “If I put them in the basket, they will be wrinkled even more.”
“Take care of your stuff. I’ll put them back in the dryer for ten minutes before I fold them. Sorry.”
She had folded his clothes before and it wasn’t the way he liked them. He ended up having to redo them since her way of folding caused more wrinkles than if she let them go.
He didn’t want to be mean about it but had said he’d take care of his own laundry from that point.
She’d laughed and said she had no problem doing it, but he joked it was fine. He was particular about it.
She got the hint and let it go.
He moved over and started to pull them out before she could and moved the basket out of the way, then pulled her clothes out of the washer and separated them to put them in the dryer one at a time. She just threw them in as a big pile. Probably why they took longer to dry.
“Are you done doing my chores?” she asked with her hands on her hips.
“Sorry,” he said. “I forgot about the clothes. Guess at times it goes back to being in the house by myself.”
“Not a big deal,” she said. “If you weren’t so damn fussy about everything.”
He held his smirk in place when she said that. She’d been a little short today and he was trying to give her space.
He didn’t want to think the honeymoon phase was over by any means. But he realized that living with someone wasn’t as easy as he’d thought it’d be. Could be she was feeling the same way.
That first month, they were probably tiptoeing around each other. Now they were more at ease and in the process annoying the other with little things.
“Sorry,” he said. “I’m just trying to be helpful.”
“I’ll go finish dinner then if you’re going to be the laundry master.”
“I’ve got it,” he said, finishing up and walking back to the kitchen after her. She was opening the package of bacon that he’d put on the counter.
She moved out of the way and put her hands up. “Why won’t you let me do anything?”
“What?” he asked.
“You are correcting my laundry. You won’t let me cook dinner.”
“You cooked last night,” he said. “We’ve been taking turns. I said I’d get it tonight. I didn’t marry someone to have them be my maid. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.”
Her lips were twisting. “I think it’s more that you don’t like the way I do things. I’m sorry if I burned dinner last night. I’ll get you a new pan.”
He bit back the grin over her chagrin look.
“It’s fine,” he said. “I’ve got plenty.”
She growled at him. “Coy,” she said. “I want a partnership out of my marriage. Not someone to take care of me.”
He looked up from the pan he was laying the bacon in. “What does that mean?”
“Are you really this thick?” she asked.
“I’m trying not to lose my patience here, Angel.”
“Maybe I want you to. I get it. The first month we lived together, we were both trying to be accommodating to each other. Maybe me more than you because it’s your house and I wanted to see how you did things, but now I’m starting to think you’re the one that was accommodating and now you’re just relaxing. I want you to be relaxed,” she said. “It’s your house.”
“Our house,” he said.
She snorted. “Nope,” she said. “It’s not.”
He didn’t like hearing that. “I told you to make any changes you want.”
“And you’d pay for them,” she said. “That isn’t a partnership. I want to be equals and all you’ve let me do is buy food. Nothing else.”
“You’ve bought some curtains and towels,” he said. “A bedspread.”
“Little shit, Coy. You won’t let me give you money toward bills.”
He’d been blowing her off every time she brought this topic up. He supposed it was time to deal with it.
“Don’t get pissed,” he said. “But we aren’t equals there and won’t ever be.”
She let out a big sigh. “I know that. But you don’t even let me contribute to anything. I don’t want that. I just thought things would be different.”
Which was another reason he was being accommodating. He knew she had all these ideas in her head about them and since there was some guilt that he had pushed the marriage for his own old-fashioned beliefs, he was giving in when he shouldn’t have.
Or letting her think things that might not be completely accurate just by passive-aggressively avoiding them.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Angel. Even if you take my family wealth out of it, I still make a lot more than you by owning the practice.”
“I understand that,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t help you pay your mortgage or give you money toward it.” He started to laugh. “You don’t have a mortgage, do you? Jesus, this house has to be worth a few million.”
“I have a mortgage,” he said grinning. “Only because it’s a tax write-off and I can use all that I can get. But it’s not as much as you think.”
“You don’t have to tell me.”
“I should explain some things. You need to know.”
“I know enough through Spencer,” she said.
“Do you want to cut the tomatoes?” he asked. “Can you do that without cutting yourself?”
“Very funny,” she said, but she did accept the knife from him while he put the bacon in the oven, then stirred the soup. BLT’s and minestrone soup that his mother brought over was a nice quick meal in his eyes.
“Sorry,” he said. “You’ve been on the moody side and I’m trying to make you laugh.”
“It’s because I’m frustrated over this situation. I know I had these dreams in my head and you think I’m going to break if I don’t get them. It’s not true. I’m an adult. It’s better if we deal with them head-on rather than you worrying I’m going to get upset or me worrying you’re going to get frustrated with me because I can’t fold your scrubs exactly the way you want them. Maybe show me how you want them rather than saying you’ll do it.”
She had a point. “I can do that,” he said. “As for the household stuff. I bought this house years ago. I got it for a good deal because it needed work. I paid cash for it out of my trust fund.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes. “I know you have one, just funny to hear you say it.”
“Sorry, nothing I can do about it,” he said. “It’s there, but it’s not as if I’ve blown through it like some people might. I lived here for a year while Bode and I finalized plans for the remodel and additions. It took about a year to complete, and I lived with him while it was being done. I took a loan out for most of that for the interest write-offs. It’s still not as high as it could have been because my brother did the work. And the value of the home is much more than what I put into it.”
“I understand that,” she said. “But you don’t even let me pay for stupid things like utilities.”
“Angel, I’m not going to have you give me money each month to cover shit like that. They are automatically taken out of my account. I told you you can do anything you want in the house.”
“But you want to know what it is,” she argued. “It’s like getting permission. Give me a break. It makes me feel as if it’s not my home.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “It’s not for that reason,” he said. “I don’t want you buying furniture or other big items. If you want something new, I’ll purchase it. You’ve balked over me giving you a credit card.”
“I don’t need you to pay for those things.”
“Get used to it,” he said. “I’m not changing that. You knew marrying me what my wealth was like. If you want to see my portfolio to prove it to you, we can do that after dinner.”
“No,” she said. “I don’t need to see it. It will make me feel even more inferior.”
He threw his hands up. “I can’t change any of this, Angel. And don’t try to pretend you didn’t know what you were marrying, because you did.”
“I know,” she said, cutting the tomato more forcefully, squishing it in the process. He went to move over and take the knife away from her and she turned and pointed it at him. “Don’t you dare.”
He held his hands up, grinned, and took a few steps back. “I’m sorry, Angel. Maybe I’m hovering some.”
“Some?” she asked.
“A lot,” he said. “I don’t want you to regret marrying me so fast.”
“So that is it,” she said. “You’ve got some guilt that you pressured me and because of that, you’re trying to spoil me? Give me everything and make life easy so I’ll think how great of a husband you are?”
“When you say it like that, it’s kind of insulting.”
“Exactly!”
Damn, she was feisty.
“Let’s rewind,” he said. “Since we are talking about this and you’re already annoyed, there is a credit card in my office with your name on it. Take it and buy what you want for the house in terms of big things.” She snarled at him. “You won’t let me take care of your student loans, so pay them off yourself with your salary. I think that is fair. It’s still going to take several years if you put your whole salary toward them.”
“I know,” she said.
“We can sit down this weekend and go over household expenses. I’ll show you what everything is. I want you to use my card for everything, but you won’t.”
“Nope,” she said. “I can buy food if that is all you’re letting me do.”
“It’s not about letting,” he said. “I’m old-fashioned. I was raised that way. My father and brothers are the same way. If you don’t believe me, talk to Sam and Amanda.”
“That’s tacky,” she said.
“It’s not,” he said. “Not when it’s people who love you. Then talk to my mother. She’s never worked and let me tell you that she had an issue with this in the beginning too. But she’ll explain it to you more.”
“I’ll think about it,” she said.
He checked on the bacon and then put four slices of bread in the toaster.
Angel had finished with the tomatoes and broke off leaves of lettuce, so he grabbed the mayonnaise out of the fridge.
She pulled down two bowls and brought them to the stove to ladle soup into both of theirs and put them on the island where they’d eat.
He pulled the bacon out and they assembled their sandwiches when the toast popped.
Once they were sitting, he said, “Is there anything else going on that I need to know about? Or is it just what we talked about? We might as well get it all out in the open now.”
“No,” she said.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “You’ve been moody for a few days. You can tell me it’s hormones and I’ll back off.”
She laughed. “I don’t think you know how to back off. But maybe I’m a bit on edge.”
“About what?” he asked. “Your last appointment was good. You said you feel fine.”
“I keep waiting to slip up. It’s like the longer it is that everyone doesn’t know, the more it builds for when they find out.”
“You’re the one that didn’t want anyone to know about the baby just yet,” he said.
Everyone in the family knew they were married. That didn’t take long to make the rounds, but no one other than immediate family knew about the baby. Or if they did, no one was saying it to him.
“I know,” she said. “We agreed to wait until after the ultrasound. It’s going to be hard to keep hiding the fact I need time off once a month for an appointment.”
“They’ve been scheduling them first thing for you so you’re missing just an hour of work. Thankfully the same will happen with the ultrasound next month.”
Which he couldn’t wait for. He wanted to go with her to the last appointment, but she’d pointed out it would be better for him to not do it early on if everything is good and then they could plan on him going with her to the cardiologist and other more important appointments.
“I know,” she said. “I’ve got to get over things. I’m trying. I really am. I hate being judged and have most of my life as someone that needed to be taken care of.”
“I don’t think anyone looks at you like that. If you want to let everyone know about the baby now,” he said, “we can. I’ll support that decision. You know I’m happy about the pregnancy and can’t wait to shout it to the world.”
She turned to look at him, her eyes a little glossy, a bit of mayo in the corner of her mouth as she chewed.
She was gorgeous to him.
He wiped the food off her lip and she smiled. “I know,” she said. “I guess I’m starting to feel that way too.”
“We are in this together, Angel. Partners. Financially means nothing. Our love is equal and that is what matters.”
A tear rolled down her cheek and he caught it with his thumb.
“Thank you for that.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “You’re welcome. But you’re still not folding my clothes.”
She snorted very unladylike and continued to eat.