32. Few People Understand
FEW PEOPLE UNDERSTAND
“ W hy are you mad?” Warren asked Emma three weeks later at her house.
“I don’t like people commenting that we’re having trouble because I haven’t been at your last few games,” she said, crossing her arms. “Give me a break.”
He let out a sigh.
He hadn’t seen that. “Don’t look at that shit,” he said. “There isn’t any trouble, is there?”
He was trying to figure that out himself.
He hadn’t seen her since she came to the game with her family.
There were three more games in that time. A home Thursday game that she didn’t come to, an away Sunday that he knew she wouldn’t go to, and then last week they were home again.
Still no Emma.
He was trying not to get upset over it. Or let the words he’d overheard when she was talking to Lily get to him either. It was hard to make room for someone in her life.
“No,” she said. “But this is crazy. I like attention at times, but not this. I mean, I can even handle when people don’t like my books or call them trash. That’s my job.”
“It’s not your job,” he argued. “It’s your life. You live and breathe it like I do football. You know that.”
Her bottom lip came out and her eyes got a little glossy. He’d never seen her upset before.
She was always upbeat and happy and now he started to get concerned.
“Thank you for that,” she said. “So few people understand it. Even my family. My mother doesn’t write like me.
If her books are in series it’s just a few.
But mine, I’m creating families. Their friends.
Their livelihoods. I bring my readers through fights, breakups, near-death experiences, then as the series moves on?—”
“You give glimpses into their progression. They get married, they have kids. I know,” he said. “I read it and feel it alongside of you. That’s how I know what you feel.”
“I do,” she said.
“And now you’re worried that being with me, it’s pulling you away from that, aren’t you?”
“No!” she shouted. “Why would you even think that? And it’s not like you and I haven’t posted things on our social media. I’m watching you on TV. I’m making comments before or after the game. You see that.”
“I do,” he said. “I even reply or show a reaction.”
Things he never did before.
He understood that a lot of her life was interacting with her readers. Plenty of players did the same with fans.
It’s not something he’d ever felt that comfortable doing.
With Emma, it felt as if it was some of their relationship along with being flirty banter.
The fact he rarely saw her only added to the fact that he didn’t like showing these parts to the world.
“I know,” she said. “So I don’t understand why people are making comments because I haven’t gone to two home games.”
“Can I ask why you haven’t?”
He needed to know what was going on.
Was his world too much for her? She never gave that impression. But that was before the season started.
Eight weeks in now was a different world. She was probably tired of it.
And with their record of 7-1, a few more wins and there were talks of them going all the way and being the team to beat. The season would be longer.
“First,” she said. “I told you I wasn’t going to every game. I don’t want to sit in the stands and I’m not having you pay for the private suite each week. You wouldn’t let me pay for the last one. I’m going to pay for the next one and you’re not going to argue with me, got it?”
He grinned. “Got it,” he said.
“Second of all. You live and breathe football. I know it. I don’t need you to tell me or show me.
I’ve always known. From your exercise regimen, to your food, to the amount of time you are studying plays.
You’ve got two years left to win another Super Bowl and I don’t want to be a distraction for you. ”
He paused when she said that. “You’re not.”
“I am,” she said. “Warren. The last game I was there you came over to see me on the sidelines twice. There was no reason for it. Your coach even called your name to get back out there.”
He laughed. “Not for that reason.”
“I don’t care the reason, it happened. Even if it was innocent, other people saw it.
If there is one thing I’ve learned in the past two months, it’s that every single thing you do is under the microscope.
When it was your playing ability, it was different.
This is personal. You can’t say you don’t feel it too. ”
“I do,” he admitted. “So that’s the only reason you aren’t going?”
“Yes,” she said. “It’s fun and exciting and I enjoy the time we get to spend together. Next week you’re away, but the following weekend you’re home. I’ll buy the suite for that. I promise. I’ll see who else wants to go so we fill it up. Maybe I’ll have Lily in there with me and the kids.”
He laughed. “She’d like that.”
“And Tiff and her friends won’t,” she said, smirking.
“I’m being mean and petty, and I don’t care.
I don’t like the way some of those WAGs treat others.
It’s like high school again. So yeah, there you go.
Another reason it’s not so much fun to go on the field.
I just want to be in the suite away from people.
Call it me being a hermit again, I don’t know. It’s my version of it.”
“That’s it?” he said. “Nothing else?”
“Nope,” she said. “I still love you if you still love me.”
“I wouldn’t sit on video calls with you all the time if I didn’t,” he said, smirking.
Because he’d love nothing more than to have her at his house with him instead of on a computer screen.
But he couldn’t ask that of her.
Hell, the minute he stepped foot in her house, he felt this crazy relaxation vibe come over him he hadn’t even realized he was missing.
He could understand why she didn’t like leaving the island.
And the fact that she had left it so much when she never did before should prove her love for him.
“I know you don’t care to do that,” she said. “And I know you want more time together. My mother has pointed out I can write anywhere, but I just don’t feel right sitting in your house all day long alone while you’re gone. Would you feel comfortable being here without me all day?”
“Yes,” he said.
She’d been bending down to pick up Lucky, who still hadn’t come to see him yet. The cat was pouting too that it’d been so long since they’d visited.
But when Emma only came for two days or two nights, she wasn’t bringing the cat, rather having someone just check in on him or drop him at her parents’ house.
He understood that. If they were at the stadium all day long the cat was nervous in the house alone. Might as well be alone in its own house.
“What?” she asked. “I thought you’d say no.”
“You thought wrong,” he said. “Bring him to me.”
She walked Lucky over to him and he took the gray cat out of her hands. He was getting big.
“I’m not sure if he’ll stay with you or not,” she said.
“He’ll be fine. And I said I could be here without you because I understand why you never want to leave. There is something about this place that I can’t put my finger on.”
“It takes the tension out of your shoulders,” she said. “Doesn’t it? Even when storms are brewing out there, it’s still relaxing.”
“It is,” he said. “I know you don’t feel that way about my house.”
“I’m not trying to insult you or be mean,” she said. “It’s just not the same.”
He understood. He’d only lived there about eighteen months himself and he had to admit it wasn’t as comfortable as it could be.
He’d spent so much of his life living in places that he knew were temporary that he didn’t always let his guard down enough.
“It’s not,” he said. “What can I do to make it more comfortable for you?”
“Nothing,” she said, laughing. “You don’t need to do that. If you decide you want to live there when your contract is done, then we’ll think about it. But for now, that’s getting ahead of ourselves.”
Which meant she was still thinking of a future with him.
“Come here,” he said. “I’m sorry things are tough right now.”
“They are and they aren’t.” She moved over and climbed on his lap in the chair. Lucky jumped down. “I think things work for us so much because we both have other obligations. I’m not bothered by the fact you’re not always around. But I think you’re bothered that I’m not. Right?”
He could lie and say no, but she’d see right through it.
“Maybe I’d like you around more,” he said. “But I also know that’s not fair of me to ask you that.”
“It’s not,” she said. He frowned, but she leaned in to kiss him. “You’re not asking it of me. But I know you want to.”
“It’s not much different,” he said.
“It is,” she said. “I appreciate that you’re not putting the pressure on me or us. I tell myself we’ll have all the time together that we want when the season is done and then I’ll want to kick you out. Maybe I’m trying to get a lot done so that I can take a little time away with you.”
He was trying not to focus on her saying she’d kick him out.
“Like a vacation?”
“Yes,” she said. “We can figure those things out. What’s wrong now? Your eyes just changed.”
“For someone who says they don’t do well with people, you sure can see through me.”
“Maybe this is what love is all along. And you know, I’ll be writing about that too.”
He tapped her on the nose. “You’re cute when you’re joking.”
“But I’m not joking,” she said. “I mean it. You have made me feel deeper with my characters by being with you.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I mean that.”
“Good,” she said. “But you’re distracting me. Why did your eyes change?”
“You said after the season when we’ll be around each other that you’ll want to kick me out. I won’t be underfoot. I know you’re writing. Hell, it didn’t even bother me you missed some of our video dates.”
She wrinkled her nose at that. “I apologized. I lose track of time.”
“And you can never find your phone to text,” he said. “I know.”
“See, you understand me.”
“I understand you enough that if you want to get back at whatever crap you read online about us having trouble, we can shut it up quickly.”
“How is that?” she asked.
“Do you want to do a live chat with your readers while I’m here?”
Her jaw dropped. “Like you’ll talk to them? I get questions and comments a lot but not as much. I try to address those things quickly in the beginning and then move on to my books.”
“Yes, we can do a live chat. Then I’ll let you do what you want after.”
“I have one better,” she said. “I normally give a bit more time to my readers to be around and I have nothing prepared to drop a chat at the last minute. But, we can take a short video of us together and post it on our feeds. Good enough, don’t you think?”
He smiled. “We can do that,” he said. “I’m not good with those things.”
“Leave it to me,” she said, jumping up and then stopping in the middle of the room.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I don’t know where my phone is,” she said.
“Let me call it,” he said. He pulled his phone out, and they were quiet while they listened. It wasn’t ringing either.
“Crap, I put it on vibrate.”
“That makes it harder,” he said, closing one eye at her. “Walk around the house while I keep calling. We are bound to hear it somewhere.”
He had his phone in his hand with it ringing, and they moved into the kitchen.
“I hear it. Hang on,” she said, opening her pantry.
He followed her in there. “This is horrible,” he said.
“Get over it, Warren. Not everyone is a health nut.”
“It’s not even the snacks and protein bars, but the coffee.”
“Oh,” she said. “I never want to run out of that.”
“You have more boxes in the kitchen though,” he said.
She shrugged. “Coffee helps me think. Stop talking. It’s got to be in here. Call it again.”
He hung up and dialed again and they could hear it, but he couldn’t find it.
Then he realized a bag was vibrating.
She turned quickly as if it dawned on her and she pulled out a variety bag of mini chips, fished around, found her phone, and held it up triumphantly.
He shook his head. “Since when do you buy mini bags of chips?”
“Since my boyfriend lectures me on portion control,” she said, stabbing her finger into his side. “Ouch. Do you have anything soft on you at all?”
“My heart is all soft and squishy for you,” he said.
“Now that was cheesy,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But adorable. And since you’re thinking along those lines, it’s going to be even better to do this video.”
“I’m almost afraid of what you’ve got planned. I get to veto it, right?”
“Of course,” she said. “But don’t think that. Follow me to my office.”
They moved to the front of the house and into her office.
It was almost sterile in here, but he understood why she kept it that way.
“Where do you want to do this?”
“You sit in my chair. My readers are going to know this is my office. They will know you’re here visiting me. Football fans won’t get it.”
“If they are following enough,” he said, “they will because they will be snooping.”
“I always find that funny, but I get it. Anyway,” she said. “Remember the book you helped me with?”
“Yes,” he said. He wished he’d helped her some more, but she’d been writing one for her publisher and then training camp started and they just didn’t have the time together to talk about it as much.
“I’ve got a hard copy right here,” she said. “Let me get my phone set up.”
He watched as she put it on a stand and set it on the video, then climbed into his lap.
“If you reach to turn it on, it’s going to have your hand on it,” he said.
“I’m a pro at editing things, don’t worry. Are you ready?”
“You’re not going to give me a script or anything?”
“Nope. Live is better,” she said. She turned the video on.
“Hi, everyone. I’m sure you all recognize this guy whose lap I’m sitting on.
What you don’t know is that he helped me with my newest release coming out next week.
I told him I’d dedicate it to him and he’s about to see what it says.
” She turned her head and smiled. He matched her grin.
“Go on, open it, and read it to everyone. Don’t be shy now. ”
Nothing like putting him on the spot.
He flipped it open. “To healthy avocado dip and greasy nachos. Sometimes the perfect hero needs his perfect heroine to be just the opposite of him.”
Warren looked into her eyes and was almost afraid his were glossy. “I’d say we are pretty perfect, don’t you think?” she asked, leaning down to kiss him on the lips.
His arms went around her and held on tight. He didn’t have to say another word because anyone who saw that video would know exactly how he felt about Emma.