Chapter 25 Felt Secure
FELT SECURE
“Was your mother upset about today?” Natalie asked the next morning.
After dinner they’d returned to her apartment. All things considered, the night could have gone much worse than it had.
“No. She and Rylie went to the casino last night and are having dinner at The Retreat like originally planned. They are flying out tomorrow. I wouldn’t be surprised if they leave the island later today and stay in Boston.”
His mother’s reason for being on Amore Island had come and gone.
Erin Brown met Natalie and formed whatever opinion she was going to. He hadn’t asked and wouldn’t.
He didn’t care.
Nothing his parents said about any woman he ended up with was going to affect his opinion.
“I can guarantee my family dinner won’t be as uncomfortable as dinner with your family,” she said.
She moved closer, put her arms around his waist, held on and gave him a tight squeeze as if silently saying she had his back.
“Well, if they are, we both can handle it.” He lingered in her arms longer, his mouth going to her neck for a soft, light kiss full of everything he wasn’t ready to say.
Their second night together had been just as memorable as their first.
But this time Arik got to hold her in his arms. Her back to his chest, his hands on her belly giving him the free rein that he’d wanted in Baltimore but had been so fearful of taking.
Last night, he took and she gave. Everything he wanted, wished for, and hoped would come true.
Tangled in each other’s arms and legs, he felt secure for the first time in... forever.
Money bought a lot of things. It didn’t buy affection.
Not the true feel-in-your-gut-and-never-want-to-let-go kind of attachment that grew so fast it not only scared him, but would terrify Natalie if the words escaped.
She stepped out of his arms much quicker than he wanted.
“I’m sure my family will have questions,” she said. “Not overly personal. At least I hope not. You should know that I haven’t brought a man to a family dinner in a long time.”
“Oh really?” he said. Maybe they should have had this conversation before he met the family so he could have been more prepared.
Or not felt as jealous.
Not an emotion he could recall often in his mind, but there it was, the ugly head of the monster wanting to know who the hell he had to outshine to prove to everyone he was the one who deserved her.
“You should see your face.”
There was no use putting a mask on. She saw through everything that no one else other than his grandmother could.
“What do you see?”
“Someone who might have a touch of green creeping in.”
He laughed. His hands spreading out arms’ length. Might as well be honest since he wasn’t hiding it well. “Tell me about the last guy to meet your family.”
“Nothing big or important,” she said. “Someone I was seeing on the island a few years ago. We’d been dating around Thanksgiving and he came.”
“What happened to this nameless man?”
“His name was Thomas,” she said, poking her finger into his arm. He flexed it. You know, just in case she needed a reminder of what he had to offer.
She rolled her eyes. Saw right through that move too.
He never claimed to be smooth.
“And what happened to Thomas?”
“He fizzled. Had moved to the island for a job, thought it’d be a great place to live, but I knew deep down it wasn’t what he wanted or cared for. He wasn’t happy and talked about transferring back to Boston.”
“And hoped you’d go with him?”
“He found out quickly it wasn’t happening. This island is in my blood. I can’t explain it.”
“You don’t need to. Just like it’s hard for me to explain why I move around so much.”
She frowned, her head moving side to side. “You’re searching,” she said. “For that one place to call your own. I’ve found it. More like always had it. I understand the need to seek until you can claim it as yours.”
“That’s it,” he said. “Maybe I’ll never find it.”
Lie. He found it. Or found her.
In his mind, if he had love, he didn’t give a shit where he laid his pillow at night.
Having his wealth made it an easier decision, sure. But even if he hadn’t had it, he knew he’d find a way to make it work.
“Some people never do,” she said quietly, dipping her head some and moving away from him.
He didn’t want her to feel as if he could pick up at a moment’s notice.
Trying to play it cool might have just backfired.
“Hey. I want to find it. Not that I’m forcing it, but doesn’t that count for something?”
“It does,” she said. “But it has to count for you. You’re searching for a lot of things in your life.”
Fuck.
His lifestyle was going to haunt him. He never thought of it when he was bopping around the world looking for something to take hold.
“I’d like to be done with it,” he said.
“Liking to be and having it happen aren’t the same,” she said. “If you force it, which you said you’re not, you’re only going to wonder and have regrets. That might be worse.”
“Do you have regrets?”
“Doesn’t everyone?” she asked. She moved to the kitchen and pulled out the two pies she’d baked yesterday before he picked her up for dinner last night.
“I don’t know,” he said. “My biggest regret was not asking you out in college.”
“Now you’re being silly,” she said.
“I’m serious. I do wish I’d asked you.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
Talk about an ego killer. “Huh?”
She squinted one side of her face. “Arik. I had a crush on you.”
“I know. I saw it.”
“But you still didn’t ask.”
“Because I thought you’d say no,” he admitted.
“I don’t know what I’d say. If I’d said no, you wouldn’t be here now. If I had said yes, you would have still gone to Seattle and I would have still returned to this island. I’m not a long distance relationship type of gal. Not for long. But one thing I am, is a believer in fate.”
That was promising, all things considered. “I never thought I was before, but being here with you, my mind is changing swiftly.”
If she commented on the flush he felt on his cheeks, he didn’t know how he could explain it away.
He did believe in fate.
He believed in her.
But would she believe in him if she knew he came here hoping for what they had now?
Would she accuse him of forcing this like she’d just talked about?
“There is that smooth talking charm you throw in my direction now and again.”
“Got to keep it off to the side for when it’s really needed.”
“You know,” she said. “You could have been an attorney too.”
He shuddered. “I know. Don’t remind me.”
The last thing he wanted to do or be was anything resembling his parents.
Yet he knew there were parts of him that did.
How could they not?
“Don’t be insulted. Being able to handle yourself verbally in any situation is a strength, not a weakness.”
“Then you could have been one too,” he said, popping her shoulder with his finger. “Because if anyone can calm a room with a few words, it’s you.”
“You’re right, I can. And I consider it a strength. Are you ready to go? I can’t wait to get my hands on Luca.”
Something they hadn’t talked about once and information he wanted to know. Was he moving fast? Most likely, but why not get all the facts he could when an opportunity was presented?
“Do you want kids?”
“I do. And you?”
“Absolutely. Not that I’ve been around them much.”
He just knew he’d do a better job than his parents did with him.
“Today you’ll find out if babies make you want to climb the wall.”
“Natalie,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “My parents make me leave the state fast enough that I’m afraid the hair on my ass is going to catch fire through my jeans.”
She burst into a fit of laughter. “Gross, detailed, but considering what I’ve witnessed, pretty accurate.”
“There you go. Babies? I’m not scared of them.”
“Then we can go and find out if it’s something that makes you want to run or stay.”
Stay. Always stay.
Especially if Natalie was by his side.