Chapter 30 Getting More Intense
GETTING MORE INTENSE
“So I heard something interesting the other day.”
Natalie’s step halted, her body turning slightly to see Melody Frasier. A woman she’d gone to school with.
Melody was a cook in the kitchen with Grace. Her old classmate only left the island for two years of community college and her culinary education in Plymouth, then returned.
They never got along. Ever.
And when Natalie got her promotion, the rumors started that it only happened because of her last name and not her work ethic, education, or experience.
She was positive it started with the woman in front of her.
But she put a smile on her face just as she had in high school when Melody tried to push her buttons.
They never popped around girls like Melody.
“What is it you heard?”
“That you’ve been seen coming out of a guest’s room. He’s been ordering double meals a lot and sometimes you’re the one placing the order.”
“Old news,” she said. It was how to play this.
Hunter was right, it couldn’t stay hidden long and there was no reason to do it.
Arik was moving into his rental home next week. She’d been dating him for a month now. Maybe a little longer.
What they had wasn’t fizzling, only getting more intense.
“The perfect Natalie Bond is fraternizing with the public. Interesting. Never thought I’d see the day.”
“I’m hardly perfect.” Because if she were, she’d walk away from this conversation. Instead, she stood her ground. “And fraternizing has its perks if you know what I mean.”
She left Melody standing there frozen, unable to speak as she tossed a laugh over her shoulder. The minute she was out of sight, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
That was sooooo unlike her and uncalled for.
It’d start more rumors, she was positive.
But did she care? Really deeply care all that much?
In the past, she’d shout yes of the world.
Her time with Arik made her believe she didn’t have to be so... perfect. So composed. So rigid.
Hunter wouldn’t fire her.
Heck, he’d told her to enjoy it. To live some. That this island works in mysterious ways and to embrace it while it happened.
If it weren’t for the fact she knew her boss so well, she’d think he was beaned upside the head with birds flying around tweeting.
And maybe because he’d gone through it himself years ago, he felt he could pass on the advice confidently and she’d listen.
She tried to bury herself in work, but her mind refused to cooperate, dragging her back to the conversation and the way she’d reacted. Too honest, too vulnerable, too much.
Not her!
She picked her phone up and called her mother.
“Hi, Natalie. Everything okay?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“Now I know there is a problem. You’re never unsure of anything.”
Did everyone really believe that about her?
Half her life she doubted every move, every action, every thought.
It was why she practiced the veil of calm, cool, and composed.
“Hardly that,” she said.
“Who ruffled you?”
“Melody Frasier.”
“Ahhh,” her mother said. “She always could. You took the higher road in school, then came home and ground your teeth, swung your arms, and even heavily slammed things on the table.”
She laughed. “That sounds like a mild tantrum.”
“That was you. Always the mild one, just behind closed doors.”
“I don’t feel it now. She baited me and l left her speechless.”
“Good for you. What happened?”
The pride in her mother’s voice helped ease some of her guilt over her actions.
Why did she need to feel guilty? She did nothing wrong.
Nothing she said was a lie.
Nothing even that horrible.
Just because it was shocking didn’t mean it was horrible.
“She told me she heard I was dating a guest.”
“You didn’t think it was going to stay a secret for long, did you?”
She let out a loud sigh, leaned back in her chair and picked up a pen to run through her fingers. “No. I wasn’t trying anymore either.”
“As you shouldn’t. It’s insulting to what you both have for you to feel as if your time with him is shameful.”
Their time was shameful. In the bedroom.
Not in a bad way. More like in a way that had her body tingling just thinking of it.
What he made her feel. Had her doing. Even saying.
She was vanilla no more in the bedroom, but rocky road covered in peanut butter sauce with half a can of whipped cream on top.
“It’s not,” she said. “We have a great time. He’s been working more and staying busy.”
Which was a good thing because she’d been worried he’d seek her out while she was on the job.
He hadn’t. Not once. Or not since that first time. But he did text a lot.
A few times a week, she’d go to his room after work, or he’d come to her apartment and she’d cook dinner.
She was tired of eating out and spending so much time here waiting for exactly what happened with Melody.
Next week it’d be fine.
Maybe they could finally have something that resembled a normal relationship, without her second-guessing every step or feeling like she was betraying the boundaries she’d built for her image.
“He’s really creating the puzzle app?” her mother asked.
“That’s what he says. I’m glad he found something to keep him occupied. I don’t know how long it’s going to take.”
Things that Arik had to work out. She couldn’t be his event planner. She couldn’t worry he was sitting around wishing she was there with him.
She wasn’t independently wealthy.
Besides, she loved her job.
“And it’s not your concern either. You can’t control his life any more than he can yours. How do you feel about him moving into a house next week?”
“Good. It will give me a break from here. Him too. I think he needs some room to move.”
He wasn’t complaining, but the room was cramped for him to work at the small table.
A few times she’d seen him outside under an umbrella pounding away on his laptop, his hand through his hair, mumbling under his breath, his arms up in triumph as if he finally solved the mysteries to the world.
Maybe it was the mess he left around him before or after the housekeepers. He was getting more comfortable.
“I don’t know how anyone can live in a hotel for that long.”
“I want to say he’s used to it, but it sounds as if a month is as long as he ever has.”
If he’d found a place he liked or wanted to try for longer, he found an apartment or house, like he was now.
Even now, the clock was still ticking. He could walk away before the six months ended, and no matter how much she wanted to believe in them, she couldn’t help but wonder if what they had was enough to make him stay.
“Do you love him? Or can you feel yourself falling for him?”
Her mother never failed to cut to the root of it. “I’m not sure I’m there. Could I? Absolutely. Do I want to? I’m not positive.”
“Natalie,” her mother scolded. “You can’t control love like you do every other emotion.
It’s there or it’s not. You’re letting yourself finally just be.
Continue. If you think you can, then it means you are already on the way.
Don’t stop it. Don’t talk yourself out of it.
Don’t even think about it not working out. ”
“It’s a little hard to do that considering his history of leaving.”
“And you need to stop focusing on that. This is the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time. Continue doing what you are. Everything else will fall into place.”
“It doesn’t feel as if I’ve got much of a choice but to do anything else. Thanks, Mom. I really needed the confidence booster.”
“I’m always here and you know it. But you’ve got this, Natalie. You’re the one I’ve never worried about.”
She hung up after that statement and put her phone down.
That was the weight she carried.
The pressure of being the good one, the reliable one, the child who never stepped out of line.
It had seeped so deep into her identity that even the smallest rebellion felt like a betrayal. And when she finally veered off course, the guilt clung to her like a second skin.