6. Bea #2
I turned the business card over and over again in my fingers as I sat at my desk in the back. I took another twenty minutes before I was brave enough to make the call.
If the secretary noticed that my voice was shaking, she at least didn’t call me on it.
“We do have an opening,” she reassured me. “Actually, we had a cancellation today at twelve-thirty, if you’re up for it.”
That was much sooner than I anticipated. I had to decide to decline or rip off the Band-Aid, and honestly, the sooner the better.
I was silent long enough that she let out a, “Ma’am? Are you still there?”
“Yes, yes,” I answered quickly, feeling silly. I was already this far, and I wasn’t sure that I could back out now. “I’ll be there.”
Taryn and Dani would make sure I could go.
I wrapped up the phone call and buried myself in inventory. Hours passed in a trance but eventually, my friends had enough of it.
“Enough of this. What the hell is going on?” Taryn demanded, backing me into the corner among the shelves. I swear she must’ve designed this place for this purpose.
Not to mention, where the hell had she even come from? It couldn’t be that late already, could it?
I tried to play it off, rolling my eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just fine.”
Taryn narrowed her eyes at me, and I knew I was defeated. Not bothering to make more excuses, I explained everything all over again.
“We’ve got your back, whatever you need,” she promised just as easily as Dani had.
“Actually, Dani hooked me up with her counselor. I have an appointment at twelve-thirty, if you guys can cover me.”
“Oh, absolutely,” Taryn said without hesitation. “I’m really proud of you for doing this, Bea.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, hating that this was even a topic of discussion.
She checked her watch. “Honestly, it’s eleven now. Should you head out and grab lunch first so you’re not going on an empty stomach? If you wait much longer, you’re not going to be able to eat at all.”
“You’ve got a good point,” I said, jumping at the opportunity to put space between me and this awful conversation. “I promise I’ll stay late.”
“You know that’s not necessary,” she protested. “We hired help for a reason.”
“Thanks.” I mumbled my reply, earning another narrowed-eyed look. There was no judgment, only exasperation. We all knew I didn’t really do emotions well.
“Go get ready and take the rest of the day off. You’ve needed a day off since your heat.”
“When you think my heat would be enough,” I countered.
She barked out a laugh. “Girl, you know that I’m an omega, too. Heats are fucking exhausting.”
“They really are,” I agreed. “Can I sign up not to have one ever again?”
“No, because you’ll adore them someday,” she reminded me before giving a finger wave and heading back to the front.
I gathered my things and headed out, making my way to the diner. Thanks to Holt’s fajitas the other night, I was still dying for a burger.
Comfort food was the only way I was getting through this afternoon.
“I’ve been wondering when you’d be back for our burgers and fries,” Trinity called out when I walked in the door. She was one of the newer waitresses, and she was honestly a breath of fresh air.
“You know me so well,” I said as I went for the counter, opting to just eat up there since it was just me.
She was already making me my usual hefty dose of caffeine.
The smell of embers, oak, and vanilla hit me, and I had to bite back a groan.
It had been way too long already since I’d been around my supposed mates, and my omega was ready to pull him closer and kiss him senseless, despite my brain protesting as loudly as possible that we should stand up and run.
“Hey, Bea. How are you?” Ezra’s smooth, calming voice had me offering a smile despite my panic. He leaned against the counter next to me.
“I’m okay,” I lied.
He gave me a half smile and cocked his head. “Do you know that you’re a shit liar?”
I let out a startled laugh, surprised that he was willing to call me out. “You know it’s not very polite to call people liars, right?”
“Well, an omega once told me that I was being too nice. Plus, It’s not all that polite to lie to your mate, either, is it?” he countered.
Honestly, he had me there. “Fair point.”
“We’ve been giving you space, but we’d love to catch up again,” he said pointedly. “We can get to know each other a little better and we can take it as slow as you want.”
He was keeping his voice pitched low enough that nobody else could gossip about what we were saying. Small towns were famous for spreading your business before you were ready. Willow Lake was no different.
“I’ll message soon,” I said casually, even knowing it was a lie.
He didn’t argue, he simply nodded before turning to Trinity as she approached. “Here. This is for my order and hers.”
She raised an eyebrow at me with a warning look that said she’d demand answers soon. The beta somehow kept herself together until he walked away with the bag she handed over.
“What was that about?” Trinity demanded.
“I guess some guys just can’t resist my charm, huh?” I joked, batting my eyelashes like I was innocent.
She snorted out a laugh and shook her head, hopefully realizing I wasn’t about to share. Thankfully, a new customer walked in, saving me from this conversation and distracting her until my food was ready.
Today was going to be the first step in taking back control of my life. I was oddly relieved, as much as I was nervous. Maybe having a sounding board for all of the crazy shit happening would help me stop putting up all these walls.
My best friends deserved better, and honestly, I was getting tired of always hiding away. It was a lonely life keeping everyone at arms’ length.
I wanted the life my pack was offering, I just didn’t know how to trust anyone else again.
Cameron didn’t deserve the power I gave him. That meant I had to let myself be vulnerable for once, and maybe, just maybe, I’d text my pack back.
I didn’t unpack my lunch until I was back in my office. The food smelled amazing, I was salivating before I even got it unwrapped.
There was a knock on the door and Dani stuck her head in, my burger paused halfway to my mouth.
“God, that smells good,” she groaned before giving me a look, “I just wanted to remind you about your appointment.”
“I didn’t forget. There are just a few things that I need to tie up before I go, lunch being the first,” I told her as I gestured with my burger before taking a big bite and sighing in happiness. No one cooks a burger like the diner. And that was coming from someone who worked in a diner for years.
“You’re a workaholic. Grab your phone and watch a short reel series or something. That should help keep you occupied until it’s time to go,” she told me with a little smile.
“That’s a great idea,” I said, mulling it over in my head. Those series were getting really popular as of late but I hadn’t looked into any of that with everything that had happened lately.
I opened my phone and downloaded one of the apps and clicked on a photo of a cowboy and city girl. It was really entertaining until I got to the ‘watch an ad’ part to move on to the next video section.
Before I could fall into that trap, I checked the time and winced. It was time to leave already. And just like that my nerves kicked into overdrive.
The office wasn’t too far from the bookstore, so I decided to walk and get some fresh air. There was so much going on in my brain that I needed a moment to ground myself before I walked in.
Thankfully, I was in a much better headspace by the time I arrived. It would be nice to empty some of this out of my head.
What was I even going to unload on this poor therapist? Everything? My past? My sister and family? Or my pack? There wasn’t enough time in one session to cover all of this.
I was staring at the receptionist before I realized I was in the office and she was talking to me.
“Sorry, can you repeat that?” I asked, shaking myself out of it.
She gave me a sweet smile and said, “Bea, right?”
“Yes, that’s me,” I answered weakly. She probably thought I’d lost my mind. Though, I guess I was in the right place for that.
“Don’t be scared, we don’t bite or judge here,” she promised. “Doc is the best and doesn’t spill any secrets, not even to me.”
“It’s just my first time doing this, I’m a little nervous,” I admitted with a hard swallow.