Chapter 6
CALEB
I’m still cringing about my humiliating ramble yesterday as I arrive at the rink for practice.
I thought about not coming, but I mean, I was here for me.
Coming here, this is my, I don’t know, pilgrimage in a way?
Whatever, it means something to me. Maybe not something anyone else could ever understand.
Probably not something anyone else could understand.
But it’s mine. I’m here. Practices are open, and nobody has asked me to leave. Sure, I’ve been deliberately hiding up in the nosebleeds, so maybe they haven’t even noticed me, but still.
As I settle into my seat, the cool air of the arena wrapping around me, the steady sound of skates scraping across the ice, I feel my tension start to ease. Maybe it makes no sense, and I can’t really explain it, but it feels safe here. Familiar.
So what if Dash decides I’m a freak and doesn’t come back?
So what if showing him who I really am scares him off? Isn’t that kind of the point? I think about all those books that mean so much to me. And yeah, a definite running theme. Being able to be yourself. Being wanted and accepted for who you are.
Screw Dash.
“Hey!” I look up to see the man himself, climbing the stairs toward me with a big smile on his face, like nothing happened yesterday at all. He settles into the seat right next to mine. His sleeve brushes my arm. “What did I miss?”
He’s here. I’m fine, I’m totally fine, I’m…
“Um. I… um. Nothing. They, uh, they’re just doing warmup laps.”
“Hmm, so no ‘chirping’ so far?” He emphasizes the chirping and grins.
I smile despite myself. Suddenly, I’m about a million times more relaxed. “Look at you, using a hockey term. And, not exactly, but Griff has snarled at a couple guys already. I see why West is captain instead of him. He’s got this whole grumpy/sunshine thing going except with no sunshine.”
Dash laughs, which is gratifying. I’m sure he doesn’t get the trope reference, but that’s fine, I honestly didn’t mean to make it. Not like I want to bring up romance book stuff again. We watch the ice for a minute in silence, and sure enough, Griff growls at a freshman who gets in his way.
Next to me, Dash chuckles and says, totally offhand, “Maybe he just needs a little forced proximity with the right person.”
Wait, what?
I turn to look at him. He’s still watching the ice, but seems to feel my eyes on him. He looks over and then… Okay, now he’s blushing.
I must be gaping at him because he chews his lip, then says, “I may have looked up some of those books you were talking about.”
“You… what?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know if I should tell you. I didn’t want it to be weird.”
Right, no. He didn’t want it to be weird.
“So, what you, like… researched them? Did you go on TikTok because the fans there are great, but they tend to be a little focused on the dark—”
“No, I… “ He rubs the back of his neck and looks away for a second. “I got a couple of them out of the library.”
“Oh. And did you…”
Now he laughs. “Yes, okay, I stayed up all night reading one of them. I needed three cups of coffee to get through my morning class.”
God, he read one? Why did he…
“I hope you don’t think I was trying to get you to do that. You seriously didn’t have to.”
“No, I wanted to. You were so enthusiastic about them.” Yeah, that’s one way to put it. “And, you know, they’re obviously important to you. I wanted to see what the fuss was about.”
“Oh. Okay.” I turn to him. There’s an uneasy feeling in my stomach. “But you really didn’t have to stay up all night.”
“No. I did. Putting that thing down was not an option.” Oh. Is it wrong that I feel giddy hearing this? “But, anyway, the point is, I think I get it.”
“Sure, yeah, I mean between the spice and the romance, most of them—”
“No. I mean, yes, totally. I get that appeal, too. But I mean, I can see why they mean so much to you.”
“Oh.”
I go quiet.
“I’m sorry, is it okay that I said that? I just meant I think it’s really cool.”
“No, it’s great. Thank you.” I search his eyes for a long moment. “Thank you.”
“Hey motherfucker, watch where you’re going!” Griff shouts below, immediately followed by the coach’s whistle.
“Knock it off, Griffin. If you think I can’t bench you in a practice, you’re wrong!”
Dash and I blink at each other, then both burst into laughter.
“He better get some of that sunshine soon,” says Dash, turning back to the game.
“No kidding.” I glance over at him and his handsome profile as he watches the players glide around the ice. “So I have to ask…”
“Hmm?”
“Which book was it?” I bite back a smile.
He glances over at me before focusing again on the practice. “Oh, I don’t know if I want to tell you that. Besides, you probably haven’t read it…” His tone is teasing.
“I don’t know, I’ve read a lot of them….”
“Mmm, still, I’m not sure I’m ready to share that information. Maybe next time?”
“Next time?”
“Yeah, this is our thing now, right? Meeting up at afternoon practice?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess it’s our thing.” I cover my face with a hand so he can’t see just how happy it makes me that he said this.