25. What Micah Knows
What Micah Knows
There’s a good reason I don’t nap in the afternoon. It leaves me disoriented and somehow more tired.
Jake and I made love with the late afternoon sun streaming in.
For the first time in what feels like forever, it was slow and sweet and unhurried, with none of the frantic, almost desperate tearing of clothes and instant release of the past few weeks.
The heat was still there, but it was a furnace being stoked, not a raging inferno.
Then he left me for night patrol, something I know he likes to do regularly, so the Pack sees him as one of them and not only their leader.
Leaving me here alone is a show of trust. He’s taking me at my word, letting me into the part of his world he spent three years keeping me separate from.
But I’m not comfortable being here without him.
I don’t want to cause any more tension within the Pack, especially if an inter-Pack war is inevitable.
Jake will need full support to hold onto his position as Alpha.
There are those who are unhappy that he never fought for his position.
If he shows the slightest weakness, some will no doubt turn on him and support Janus’s bid to be Alpha over both the Devil’s Edge and Sin City Werewolf Packs.
And having a human girlfriend weakens his position.
He’s said in the past he doesn’t care, but I don’t want to add fuel to that fire, especially after my welcome earlier, so I head home to grab dinner.
Listening to music helps me dissociate while my subconscious streams random thoughts as I speed down empty streets.
The Skyway is bright above the city lights, and below, the hyper-rail that replaced the New York subway system takes people wherever they want to go in a fraction of the time it took a century ago.
The roar of the engine, changing gears, the feel of leather molding to my frame, and the steering wheel under my hands all help me disconnect from logic and let my synapses fire as they will.
I’m halfway home when the connection I’ve been waiting on hits me out of nowhere.
I knew it was there, I just couldn’t quite grasp hold of it.
My Aston Martin handles the change in direction smoothly as I make a sharp right turn, breaking as I shift down and then punching the accelerator hard.
Twenty or so blocks later, I hit the center of the city and park smoothly beside the curb.
Parallel parking is a lost art, with autocars doing all the work, but I’m a boss at it.
Letting Tim know where I am and why, but that I can do this alone, I read his answering flicker before blinking it away and walking through the looming gates onto Coven grounds.
They shut silently behind me as I quickly pass the fountain, striding with purpose up the front steps.
I press my palm to the bio-lock, then lean forward into the retinal scanner.
If it doesn’t work, I’ll try the security system.
I’m taking a chance that I still have access, because I do for Micah’s suite.
The doors immediately slide open, revealing a lack of security guards within. A building full of Vampires hardly needs it, but there are several Vamps in the lobby, and one walks indolently over to me.
‘I’m looking for Micah.’ This Vamp seems familiar, but I’m not sure if I actually know him, if he reminds me of many of the Vamps I used to know, or if the Coven estate itself is inspiring the feeling of familiarity in me.
‘I think he’s in his suite. If not, you can just wait for him.’ He flashes me a smile full of fangs and leans in close. ‘Otherwise, I’m available.’ The naked hunger on his face is not for sex. His eyes are on my neck as I force myself to return his smile, thank him, and walk calmly away.
I suddenly wonder how hard it was for Micah to keep every Vamp here in line for the two years I lived here.
I’m realizing more and more how na?ve I was.
They are predators. Beautiful, mesmerizing predators, with very little humanity left in most of them.
Synthetic blood doesn’t satisfy anything except the basest need.
I wasn’t just prey back then, I was a constant temptation.
It’s heading toward sundown, and all around the vast complex, Vamps who are resting or sleeping will be stirring to take advantage of the darkness night brings. I force myself not to hurry, but my hand is close to my hip, and the gun holstered at my side.
I let myself silently into Micah’s apartment. If he’s here, he’ll already be aware of my presence.
The Vampire stands in the dying rays of the sun, backlit by the afterglow from the UV-protected windows, hands in his pockets. He’s immaculate as always in charcoal dress pants and a dark blue shirt.
‘Evangeline,’ he acknowledges my presence without turning around. There’s something in his voice that makes my feet move toward him as if they have a mind of their own.
Turning to face me as I get close, his face is partly hidden in shadow.
Still, I see the haunted look in his midnight eyes, the exhaustion limning his perfect features.
He’s a few shades paler than usual, as if it’s a few weeks after a tropical holiday and the glow has faded from his skin.
His sleeves are rolled up his forearms, tattoos stark against his bronze skin, shirt half undone as if it was constricting him. Or he hasn’t bothered to do it up.
I came here as a detective for the PPS, but when he says my name and looks at me like this, I want to make everything better for him, the same as he has done for me so many times in the past. Guilt for the way I left him, without any explanation, hits me like a blow to the stomach, leaving me breathless.
My blood hums with the need for some form of physical contact, but I have no idea where I stand, or exactly what we are right now.
The lines of our relationship are as blurred as mine and Jake’s.
It feels as if my carefully constructed life is slowly unraveling, and all I can do is watch it happen from a distance, as if to someone else.
Micah is waiting, his face inscrutable.
‘I need to know something.’ I want to ask him what’s wrong, but I have some idea. Take your pick. Lila’s death, not having found the rogue Vamp yet- while knowing who it is- killing his former lover. Well, maybe not the last one. It’s a buffet of grief, loss, and responsibility.
It’s not something I used to think about, even when we lived here, but I know he’s killed many times before.
Maybe hundreds. Out of hunger, justice, retribution, or accidentally feeding for too long.
But I know him well enough to be unequivocally certain that it was never for sport.
Not even when he was first Turned, which is the time many Vamps find it the most difficult to control both their hunger and their baser nature as cold-blooded killers.
Micah once told me he had to claw back the pieces of his humanity- his conscience, his compassion, his soul.
So I stick with the reason I came here. If he wants to tell me anything else, that’s up to him.
And maybe a part of me is afraid of what will happen if he shares his pain with me, opening up old wounds and our past ways of being together.
He owes me nothing of himself, and to want it is dangerous- like playing near the edge of an unstable cliff and hoping the earth doesn’t crumble away beneath my feet.
‘Ask.’ Micah’s onyx eyes capture mine. As the sun dips lower, I can see more of his face, but I still can’t read it. He’s carved from granite, an immovable force.
‘Can a Werewolf be Compelled?’ I’m standing a few feet away, very aware I haven’t had a shower since Jake’s.
A long soak in my bath was part of my plan for the evening, which I just hijacked myself.
I’m surprised the Vamp in the foyer wasn’t put off by the scent of Werewolf and sex clinging to me.
Micah has to be aware of it. Should I be worried that he’s not teasing me?
‘You think the Werewolf who was murdered was Compelled?’ He hasn’t moved, his skin tight across his cheekbones as he stares down at me. I wonder when the last time he fed was. Real blood, not the synthetic kind.
‘If it’s possible, yes. I think he was Compelled to call his former dealer, Jason, and ask him for a meet.
Then Evan was disposed of. Two birds, one stone.
With the added bonus of framing one Alpha, and dumping a body on another Pack’s turf.
’ I can’t believe I never made the connection before.
My job, and my entire Squad, was formed based on my first-hand knowledge of Vampires.
And the theory of Evan knowingly setting Jake up never sat right with me.
‘Anyone can be Compelled if a Vampire is strong enough in Mesmerism. Even another Vampire. But we teach mind blocking to prevent it, the same as I taught you.’
‘But?’ I know I’m onto something, I can feel it firing through my blood.
My hands clench at my sides, my heart rate ratcheting up.
He’s detached, and not in his usual aloof way, where he holds himself separate, even from his Coven.
This feels different. Something is going on below the surface, and he’s doing his damnedest to hide it from me.
Maybe I lost the right to offer him my support, my empathy, my understanding.
But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to give it.
‘Human minds are pliable. Easily overwhelmed and suggestible.’ He gives me a wry smile.
The lights flicker on, illuminating his living and kitchen areas.
The windows behind him are bruised with the last streaks of the sunset, buildings gathering shadows as purple blankets the evening sky.
The Skyway far overhead obscures the emerging stars, busy with autocars delivering people home from work, or sending them out for the night.
‘And Lycos?’ Werewolves are closer to humans than they are Vampires, but their animal nature may prevent them from being susceptible.