31. Everything’s Fine Now, Right? #2
Jake spends every night with me. He lets me decide if it will be at my house or the Pack compound.
I don’t want to push them too fast or intrude into their space as a human, and especially as a detective, so we stay at my place.
It’s enough that Jake is finally including me in that part of his life.
It feels almost like it did before. We watch holos and cook, talk and laugh, and make love with a depth that’s grown over the past few weeks and everything we’ve been through together.
But Saturday comes around faster than I’m ready for. Part of me wants to dress in jeans and a t-shirt, but pride wins.
Vanity has been many a woman’s downfall, and I am as susceptible to it as they were.
After rifling through my wardrobe, I decide on an emerald green dress that skims the tops of my breasts with a ruffle. Cap sleeves sit below my shoulders, and a cinched waist flares out to mid-thigh, ending with another ruffle around the hem.
When the doorbell sounds, I assume it must be the car Micah sent to pick me up, so I don’t bother checking my porch holo-cam feed. But when I open the door, Jake is on my doorstep with a huge smile on his face.
I’m rooted to the spot, not sure what to say or how to explain why I’m so dressed up. My mind goes completely blank as panic snakes its way unerringly down my spine. But my gorgeous boyfriend only sweeps his gaze down my body with an appreciative whistle.
‘Happy birthday, beautiful. I checked with Ruby, and she said you had nothing planned with her, so I thought I’d surprise you.’ He’s grinning at me boyishly, hazel eyes shining with excitement, golden-brown hair glinting in the porch holo-lights.
Shaking the surprise from my mind, I take in the black suit and deep green shirt he’s wearing. Green, to match my eyes.
Fuck.
I don’t know what to do. I wouldn’t put it past Micah to come find me if I tell his driver I’m canceling or don’t show up. He won’t care about the reason.
I’ve been so busy worrying about hiding my plans for the evening from Jake that it takes a moment for what he said to permeate my brain.
It’s my birthday, and I forgot. But I can damn well guarantee Micah didn’t. That’s why he chose tonight for the dinner I owe him for Jake’s bail money.
My boyfriend doesn’t seem to notice my silence as he kicks the door shut behind him and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s long and deep and full of promise. I let myself sink into it. To hell with Micah.
‘It’s up to you, Eve. We can stay in, but I’ve booked a restaurant. And you look amazing.’ He still hasn’t realized that Ruby told him I have no plans, yet I’m dressed up. Maybe I should have been honest with her.
‘So do you.’ There’s just something about an Alpha male in a suit that does it for me. The effort, the confidence, the self-assurance. I run my hand over his chest where his shirt is parted, and my mouth goes dry at the feel of hard muscle there. I would love to undress him right now.
‘I, ah, I know I don’t make much of an effort. That I don’t dress like-,’ he stops abruptly at my expression.
This is about Micah. I feel my anger rising at both of them. Micah’s manipulation, and Jake trying to score points, or prove a point. Maybe I should swear off men. Maybe Ruby and I could be lesbians.
‘I appreciate it,’ I say, forcing my voice to stay calm. Time for the truth. ‘I would love to spend my birthday with you. But I already have plans.’
I see the moment he realizes who those plans are with. His face goes hard, the smile wiped away. He’s trying to stay calm, to control his primal nature, but I thought we were past this Alpha male bullshit.
‘Cancel.’ He’s not asking.
His hands are pressed against the wall on either side of me, and I duck beneath his arm. Right now, I need space.
Jake follows me into the living room, so close I can feel the heat coming off him.
‘I’m sorry, Jake, but I can’t.’ Taking a deep breath, I spin around, my dress flaring out around my legs. I don’t want to lose him, but I made a deal with Micah. For him. Why can he not understand that I have no choice? ‘One dinner in exchange for your bond, remember.’
He reels back as if I’ve slapped him. A low growl rips out, his eyes going feral.
‘As if I could forget. Change it to another night.’ I can see he’s making an effort to control his anger. ‘Why would you agree to it on your birthday?’ He looks hurt, wounded, younger suddenly.
My heart catches as my anger ebbs away. Fucking Micah. I feel trapped and unsure of what to do.
‘I forgot it was my birthday.’ It sounds like such a terrible excuse, even if it is the truth.
‘But he didn’t.’ Jake comes to the same conclusion that I did.
Micah did this on purpose, and he and I will be having words about it later. But now, I need to…I’m not sure. Make it right somehow? But is that all on me? Jake could choose to let it go. He could try to understand the untenable position I’m in.
‘It’s not a big deal,’ I try again. The past few days with him have felt like they used to, before all the murdery shit and me inviting a Vampire back into my life. Now I can feel it slipping away, like sand through my fingers.
Jake sweeps his fiery hazel eyes over me, taking in the dress, the makeup, the sky-high heels.
‘Really.’ I’m not sure if any more sarcasm could possibly fit into one word.
‘I’m not sure what you want from me, Jake. It’s one dinner. It happens to be on my birthday. We can go out tomorrow night instead.’ I’m trying to be reasonable, but my anger is rising again at how ridiculous he’s being.
‘That’s not good enough. I’ve tried Eve. I really have.’ He steps closer and takes my hands, towering over me by several inches. ‘But I’ve seen the way he looks at you.’
Words die unspoken in my mouth. I told myself I was imagining it because it was safer that way. Pretending the subtle flirting, the innuendos, were all in my mind.
I love Jake, but I also love Micah. And while I’m furious with him for putting me in this position, I want to have dinner with him.
Even if my feelings for Micah are unrequited, I’ve been running from them for too long.
And I don’t want to choose Jake by default.
I want to choose him because I’m sure of my feelings for him and our future together.
‘Tell me you feel nothing for him.’ My boyfriend’s deep voice has a ring of desperation to it. He’s begging me, his eyes made brighter by the lack of color in his face.
But I can’t lie. And my silence is as damning as if I’d said the words aloud.
‘I love you,’ I say instead.
‘It’s not enough when you love him as well. If you have dinner with him, it’s over between us.’ It’s a low growl, as if he’s forcing the words out.
My head snaps back as if he’s slapped me. It’s the sting of his claws down my cheek all over again.
If I had wanted to cancel dinner with Micah and deal with the consequences, his words would have made me change my mind. No woman in the world reacts well to an ultimatum.
‘I think you should leave,’ I tell him coldly, even as tears burn the back of my eyelids.
Jake storms out just as a sleek black car pulls up. He throws me one more look, and then he’s running up the street faster than a human.
I want to curl into a ball and cry my heart out. But I don’t want Micah to know it’s over with Jake. It’s none of his damn business. And I can’t blame him. This was Jake’s choice. And mine.
But as I slip into the car and it pulls away from the curb, silent tears slide down my cheeks as my heart shatters into tiny pieces. Shards of glass that pierce my soul with a thousand cuts.