Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
GRIFFIN
Did Jules actually think a simple lock was going to keep me out?
I was a freaking firefighter. I knew exactly how to hit a door so the frame gave before my shoulder did—and if it didn’t?
I’d make a brand-new entrance through the wall.
Not that I wanted to do that to Theo’s newly renovated house. But still.
But Jules liked her independence. She thrived on respect, and forcing my way inside wouldn’t exactly set us up for a peaceful conversation. So I tried to let her do the right thing.
I pounded on the door. “Jules, let me in. Please.” I kept my voice steady. She needed to know I was coming in, one way or another.
“Go away!” she yelled. “I had you served so I wouldn’t have to talk to you again.”
Ouch.
“Jules.” I lowered my voice. “Be real. You had to know I wasn’t going to let you go through with a divorce uncontested.”
“Why not? You left. And you slapped your ring in my hand before you went. What other message could I possibly take from that?”
I sighed, letting my forehead fall against the door. “I messed up, okay? The biggest mess up of my life.” My palms flattened against the wood. “I love you. You know I do. I’ve called every day and texted a thousand times. I even sent flowers that one time.”
“I threw them in the garbage,” she said coolly.
I’d heard. That’s why I hadn’t done it a second time. Any floral arrangement not bulked up with carnations—the I love you, but not that much flower—was priced like it had been grown on the moon. Definitely too expensive to be used as packing material for less valuable trash.
“I came back to fix things,” I kept going. “I’ll move back if that’s what you want. We can build a house on the farm. Or over by Cash and Charlie.” She liked Charlie. “Cash already offered to deed us a few acres of his land. Please, let me in.”
She didn’t respond. But at least she’d stopped yelling for me to leave.
“I love you, Jules. Forever. I meant that. I was just scared of being home. I don’t always like who I am here and—”
Something rustled behind me. I twisted around to see Bowen and Theo, arms folded across their chests, wearing matching grins. The side-by-side was parked on the other side of the field.
“I love you, Jules,” Theo mocked in a whiny, overdramatic voice. “I messed up, okay? The biggest mess up of my entire life.”
“I swear, for someone so book smart, you have zero common sense. Say another word, and I’m going to yank your underwear so high you’ll be flossing with it.”
Dingus actually opened his mouth to test me.
Bowen clapped a hand over it and tipped his head toward the house. “Pretty sure I just heard your wife escaping through the back door.”
Crap. Their cars were parked back there.
I took off in a sprint, legs going full Roadrunner.
As I came around the corner, Jules was halfway to Gramps’ old ranch truck. When she saw me, she shrieked and bolted.
I charged her with a roar that probably scared wildlife three counties over, arms flailing.
She shrieked for me to “stop,” then spun and booked it back toward the house.
I made it up the stairs just in time for her to try to slam the door in my face a second time. Too bad I was faster. I jammed my foot between the door and the frame—ouch, that was going to bruise—then drove my shoulder into it and shoved through.
She screamed, teetering backward.
I caught her by the shoulders. “Well, hello there.” I let my grin creep up as I stared down at her gorgeous face. Man, I was so in love with her.
She apparently did not share the feeling because she pounded me on the chest. “Let me go! Let me go!”
“Sheesh.” I let go and raised my hands.
She stumbled back a few steps before catching herself. Breathing hard, chin lifted. “I don’t want to ‘talk’ to you.” She made air quotes.
I scowled, confused.
“Don’t try playing coy with me. I saw the look,” she said, semi-hysterical. “I know what you’re up to.” She brushed off her stomach and arms as if my pheromones had latched on and needed wiping away before they convinced her to do something reckless.
Ah. I smirked, chest swelling.
“Stop that.” She pointed at my face. “No smirking. Do you hear me?”
I raised an eyebrow, fighting to keep a straight face.
“None of that either.” She stomped her foot, her frown darkening into a glower. “You know full well how attractive I find it when you cock your eyebrow.”
I chuckled.
She stamped her foot again. “No smug laughter.”
I let my eyes smolder and ran my tongue over my bottom lip.
Her shoulders hunched like she was barely holding in the anger. “Grif-fin.”
But this was too fun. Angry Juliette was even more beautiful than Calm Juliette.
I tipped my chin up and made a muscle in my jaw pulse. “How you doin’?” I said in a Joey Tribbiani voice.
“Stop!” she wailed. “No more!”
Okay. “Fine.” I laughed. “What expressions am I allowed?”
“None. Blank stare.” Her hand cut through the air. “That’s it.”
Being told not to do something makes it nearly impossible not to. I bit my lips and folded my arms, trying to look bored.
She glared at me. “No crossing your arms either.”
I looked down, studying my stance. “Why not?”
“Because it makes your stupidly massive biceps look even more stupidly massive,” she snapped, like my muscles were deliberately trying to ruin her life.
“Unbelievable.” I dropped my arms to my side and spread my fingers, working out some of the tension.
“Absolutely not,” she growled. “Do not Mr. Darcy me with the hand flex.”
I couldn’t help. I laughed again.
She threw up her hands and stormed into the kitchen.
I followed. “Jules. If you’re so attracted to me that you can’t handle me standing in a room, why are you trying to get a divorce?”
“Because.” With her back to me, she grabbed a glass, slammed the cupboard shut, and turned on the tap, letting the water run cold. “You might be hot, but…”
“But what?”
“I…I…” Her shoulders lifted and lowered a few times like she was gearing up for whatever she was about to say.
I braced myself, but no amount of mental calisthenics could’ve prepared me for what came next.
“I don’t love you,” she said, quiet and quick. “I’m not sure I ever did.”
At that confession, all of my muscles, ligaments, and joints seemed to decompress, folding in on top of each other, the blow taking at least an inch off my height. Maybe two.
These past months without her, I hadn’t been living. I’d merely been surviving. I’d thought I loved Selene and Maggie, but it was nothing compared to what I felt for Jules. Not even close. And the hope of reconciliation was the only thing that had kept me going.
If I didn’t even have that… how would I ever be happy without her?
You won’t be.
My heart refused to accept that reality, and my self-preservation reflexes kicked in. She could be projecting. She was rejected her whole childhood. You left, and she’s scared you might leave again. Maybe. You need to find out for sure.
But how?
Just then, I spotted her phone in the back pocket of her jeans. I pushed the hurt to the edges of my heart, hunched down, and padded across the floor, praying I didn’t step on a squeaky board. Then, in one swift move, I swiped it.
“Hey!” She whipped around. “Give that back.”
“Not until I see something.” I held it above my head, attempting to tap on Find My.
“No!” She jumped up, hanging off my bicep, her feet swinging, trying to pull my arm down. “That’s private!”
I wrenched my arm free. But this time, she climbed me. Like a tree. Literally.
“Woman!” I yelled as her nails dug into my shoulders and the toes of her tennis shoes ground into my kneecaps. “Get!” I wiggled my shoulders, trying to shake her loose. “Off!” Then, I whirled around fast, like a Hold-N-Spin.
It worked.
Unfortunately, on the way down, her knee drove straight into my groin.
A white-hot bolt of agony shot through my man parts and straight up my spine.
My body folded in half, and I dropped where I stood, gagging as the world tilted and my stomach almost staged a full evacuation.
Eyes squeezed shut to block out the light, I lay on my side in a fetal position, trying not to die.
“Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.” Juliette fell to her knees, her hair falling around my face. “Are you okay?”
I blew out my breath and wheezed, “Bye… bye… Weston.”
“Oh, Griff.” She traced circles over my shoulders. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Sure—” I groaned, “—you didn’t.”
“I didn’t,” she promised, resting her head on my shoulder. “Why can’t you let this go? Just give me the divorce.”
I didn’t answer—not only because I couldn’t give her what she wanted.
I was also afraid to speak. I was afraid to even breathe.
Because Jules was snuggling against me, taking care of me, and I didn’t want her to stop.
So I just lay there, breathing through the pain—in my groin and my heart.
And she lay there, her fingertips tracing over my back.
The longer we lay there, the lighter and slower her curlicues became. Then her hand stopped moving altogether, and I recognized the rhythm of her breathing. It was the quiet in and out she made when she was asleep.
I was afraid to check. But at least five minutes later, when my arm started going numb, I knew it was either roll over or risk amputation. So I ever so carefully rolled onto my back, shifting her head to my chest. Yeah, she was out.
I pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and closed my eyes, hanging onto the moment as long as I could.
I had no idea what kind of wood this flooring was, but it had to be the hardest thing they sold, just shy of concrete.
Every joint in my body screamed to get up.
But I’d take it. If I got to hold her like this, I’d happily fossilize right here.
Something buzzed, and I looked over to see Jules’s phone, barely within reach. I grabbed it, hit end call—it was just a telemarketer, probably—and finally tapped on the cursed app. Sure enough, my location was at the top of her list. Our dots were making love, the same way I wished our bodies were.
My chest loosened. If she really didn’t love me, she would’ve deleted me like she’d said. Wouldn’t she?
A shadow fell over the room, and I turned my head the other way to see Bowen and Theo peeking through the window next to the front door.
Theo pointed, asking if they could come in.
I put a finger to my lips to let them know to be quiet.
They slipped inside, tiptoed across the room, and towered over me.
Theo gave me a baffled look. She never naps, he mouthed. And she’s had trouble sleeping ever since you left.
I hated that he knew that about her. It meant I hadn’t been here to do my job as her husband. Yes. But you’re here now. And look, she feels safe with you. That has to mean something.
Bowen looked at me and smiled.
With Jules asleep in my arms, the noise in my chest went quiet, replaced by a familiar peace I hadn’t felt since the day I left. I made myself a promise right then: I’d fight for her, all to pieces, as my dad and Anna often said. And I’d spend every day making sure she never doubted my love again.
I looked up at my brother and my cousin and mouthed, I have to stay, don’t I?
They both nodded, their smiles soft and sad, eyes heavy.
They were right, I did. But knowing what to do and doing it were two very different things. Could I handle living here again?
Screw that, I thought. I have to.
The same way Jules had wrestled me to the ground, I would mind over matter my issues until they were breathless and beaten. I’d do whatever it took to make a happy life with her. Even if that meant being a permanent resident of Seddledowne. I’d learn to love it here.
Don’t you mean you’ll learn to love it here again?
It was true. Up until my freshman year in college, when Selene came along and put a crack in my relationship with Bowen, this had been my favorite place.
Like the rest of my family, I’d planned to come back for good after I earned my degree.
Wanted my kids to grow up running wild over the rolling hills of Firefly Fields, Clean Slate, and Dupree Ranch.
But how could I fall back in love with a place that had caused me so much pain?
Bowen must’ve read my face. His smile faded. Don’t worry. We’ll help.
And I knew he was good for it. Bowen always kept his promises.
Maybe it was because I was feeling sufficiently humbled, crotch tender, my heart cracked open a little, that I was finally able to accept a truth I’d known all along.
Bowen hadn’t meant to hurt me. Quite the opposite.
He’d always wanted a relationship with me—even when I’d pushed him away.
And despite all the ways I’d hurt him, he’d never once written me off.
He stared down at me, his stormy-gray eyes intense, something raw on his face. I love you, he said. I’m sorry. For everything.
His words undid me, and my heart broke open the rest of the way.
A tear rolled down my cheek. I know. I’m sorry too. I love you. So much.
He smiled, eyes welling.
I glanced at Theo, whose left eyebrow was trying to escape his face, gaping at us like he didn’t know who we were.
I winked at him and made kissy lips. I love you too, Theodore. Then I went serious. Thanks for taking care of her.
He nodded, expression solemn. You’re welcome.
I gestured for him to lean down. When he did, I hooked a finger in his ear and tugged him closer.
He whimpered.
“But I’m still pissed you lied about letting her live with you,” I hissed. “You shoulda told me the truth, Theodork. Sleep light, you rat. Sleep light.”