Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
GRIFFIN
Two hours and forty-seven minutes. That was the distance from Ember Stadium to home. That was the amount of time I had to hold myself together before I could burrow into a dark corner at my parents’ house and fall apart.
We’d borrowed my mom’s van for the trip. Bowen drove, making awkward small talk with Maggie, Theo, Cash, and Charlie, while Sophie held my hand as I stared out the window.
I felt so stupid. Not that I’d married Jules after knowing her for three days. My grandparents got married fast. My parents, too. I felt stupid because I’d actually believed I was becoming someone solid and confident. Someone who didn’t cower at his own doubts. Someone worth sticking around for.
What a joke.
I wasn’t different. I’d just been propped up by a job that made me look like a hero, by the Hollister shoot, but mostly by Jules—by her love and her choosing me.
And the second that illusion cracked, there I was again.
The same old unwanted, insecure Griffin.
By the time we got home, I was a wreck—humiliated and hollowed out.
Everyone had parked at our house. So when we pulled in, they were still in the van, witnesses to Mom pacing in the yard, wearing Dad’s thickest Carhartt jacket.
Dad stood on the porch, hands folded on top of his head.
James stood beside him, gripping the railing.
They must’ve been checking our location.
It struck me in that moment that my parents had never, not a single time in my life, let me down.
They were steady and constant, always there when I needed them.
And how had I repaid them? I left. They probably thought I was trying to get away from them when really, I was trying to escape myself.
That thought cracked me open, and the tears pooled again.
I let everyone climb out ahead of me, trying to get control of my emotions. I hoped they’d quickly get in their cars and scatter. Nope. They turned to watch.
Mom met me at the sliding door, eyes wet. “Oh, Griff.” She pulled me against her and squeezed. I knew she was trying to take some of the weight. And I let her.
James strode up, wrapping his arms around both of us. “Griff, that…sucks.” I could see he knew it wasn’t adequate. But if anyone understood what it felt like to lose the woman you loved, it was James. I pried an arm free and hooked it around him.
Dad arrived next and wound his arms around the three of us. “It’s gonna be okay.” But even he didn’t believe it. His shoulders shook as he tried not to cry.
Seeing my dad tear up for me? That did it. All my hurt came out in a single, gut-wrenching sob. Then, like at the hospital, Bowen, my cousins, and Maggie surrounded us.
It was right there, smashed in the middle of the second-biggest group hug of my life, that I finally understood.
I needed them.
I couldn’t imagine how I would’ve gotten through this alone out in Phoenix. I wasn’t sure how I’d get through it now.
But with a family like this, they’d hold on until I did.