Chapter 26 Luc #2
Cody and I walk to Maxime’s apartment in silence, with me leading the way.
I still have the key, so when we arrive, I unlock the front door to the building and push it open.
At this point, I could easily have left Cody outside on the threshold, but the thought doesn’t even occur to me—I even hold the door open for him. What a weird time to be polite.
We take the elevator together to the fifth floor.
In my head, I consider the possibilities.
Maxime might not be home at all. Or perhaps they are, haven’t seen my messages, and will be surprised to see me.
Their crush might already have arrived, and maybe I’ll be disturbing them.
That’ll mean I’ll have no chance to hide inside, away from Cody.
But honestly, at this point, I don’t even know if I want that anymore.
Walking here with him in the fresh air has somewhat calmed my nerves, and even though I still have no idea what I’m in for, I no longer have the irresistible urge to flee.
When we stand in front of Maxime’s door, Cody flashes me a smile that’s meant to be encouraging, but it seems a little bit forced. I ring the doorbell, not wanting to use my key and invade Maxime’s privacy. After all, I technically don’t live here anymore.
Several seconds pass while we wait. I can hear muffled voices coming from inside, but other than that, nothing happens. No one opens the door, no one seems to approach the threshold, so I ring the bell again. That eventually does the trick.
Maxime opens the door, looking surprised, their gaze shifting between me and Cody. “What are you doing here?” they ask me, telling me they haven’t read my messages and unkowingly exposing the lie I told Cody. There’s nothing I can do about it now, though.
“I’m here to pick up my stuff. Can I come in?”
Maxime shakes their head. “No, I have company, I told you that. But luckily for you, I already packed your stuff. Hang on.” Maxime closes the door in my face, leaving me to guess whether they’ll actually come back.
I give Cody a brief glance, half wondering if he’s mad at me because I lied about Maxime expecting me, but his expression is blank, and he stays quiet.
Not long after, the door opens again, and Maxime shoves two sports bags through the gap.
“Here you go. This should be everything; clothes, toiletries, and some cables I found.” I barely manage to take the bags from them when they add, “You can keep the bags. I have a bunch of them. Now, please leave. Like I said, I have company. I’ll text you later, okay?”
Before I can get another word in, Maxime’s already closing the door.
The moment was brief and unexpected in several ways, not the way I had seen this happening.
I came here thinking my stuff would still be in the same place I left it and that I would need to pack things into suitcases or bags.
Not that I brought any of those with me.
Come to think of it, that was probably a first indication for Cody that I was lying.
Who goes to pack their stuff without bringing anything to put them in?
Well, at least I have my stuff back. I’m here, staring at Maxime’s door, with all my belongings already packed. That’s something.
I glance briefly at Cody and sigh softly as I place one of the bags on the ground. Grabbing its long handle, I let it dangle from my shoulder. I keep the other one in my hand, holding it by the short handle.
Without another word, I start walking back to the elevator.
I can feel Cody’s stare on me. I’ve felt it since the moment we left Maxime’s doorstep, almost like he’s waiting for me to say something.
And not only that, but the weight of my blatant lie is starting to press down on me.
“Okay, fine, so they weren’t exactly expecting me. ”
Cody nods, unbothered. “I already guessed that on the train.” He points at the bag in my hand. “Do you want me to carry that?”
“No, I got it.”
Frustration edges into his voice. “Come on, Luc. Just hand me one. I’m not going anywhere.”
I glance at him, the man who’s been there for me since we met. Or at least, who was supposed to be. Maybe the very least I can do is let him help me carry my things. “Fine,” I mutter as I hand him the bag.
As we step into the elevator, Cody raises and lowers the bag slightly, testing its weight. “Did you give me the lighter one?”
“Yes. You’re an old man after all.”
Cody snorts softly. “You didn’t seem to mind that when I fucked you.”
My stomach does a strange thing. It swirls and sinks simultaneously, and I struggle to keep standing.
I groan internally. Why did he have to say that?
Right here, in this small, enclosed elevator space.
In the past, I might have challenged him to remind me exactly how he fucked me again, or have him prove he can still keep up with me in bed.
That would have been a fun game to play.
But now . . . his words hit me like a bomb.
They’re a reminder of what we have; not just the sex, but our connection, our banter.
When he ends things with me, that will all be over, and I’ll miss it more than I could have expected.
Cody must have seen my shock because he quickly says, “I’m sorry. That just slipped out. It’s . . . I miss the way we talk.”
I swallow hard. The truth is, I’ve missed it too, but I’m not going to give in to the feeling. It’ll only make this more difficult.
The elevator doors open—finally—and I rush out. “Let’s just keep walking,” I barely manage to get out.
“Okay. But where are you going to take these bags?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. His question is a painful reminder that even if I manage to keep walking, I have no idea where I’ll go. Maybe I should just go back to the station, board a train, and see if my mother can help me, although I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. “I don’t know yet.”
A brief silence falls between us, one that feels loaded.
It makes me wonder whether Cody will offer me his couch or something out of guilt.
The thought alone makes me cringe. No, I don’t want him to offer me a place to stay because he pities me.
That’s worse than having him just rip the band-aid off and dump me.
“You could um . . . take them to my house,” he eventually says softly.
It’s just as I thought; he’s offering his place out of pity. I scoff at him. “You don’t want that.”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
Cody sighs, picks up his step, and places himself in front of me, blocking my path. His frown has deepened, telling me that this also weighs heavily on him. “Luc, just listen to me, okay? I want you. I’ve wanted you all along. I acted like an asshole today.”
“Oui,” I say softly, simply because I can’t stop myself. But there’s no stopping the way my heart flutters when I hear him say he still wants me. Damn my stupid, treacherous body . . .
“I’m sorry about everything I said, baby.
I was just surprised. Until a few days ago, my heart was broken because you left me, and suddenly you were asking me to marry you.
It’s all very fast, and I’m still trying to understand but .
. .” His voice breaks just slightly. “It makes me wonder . . . is that really what you want?”
No, I won’t admit it, that will only lead to more pain. I decide to lie to him, except the problem is that I can’t do that without avoiding his gaze. “No.”
“If you can look at me when you say that, I’ll leave. I promise.”
I refuse to meet his gaze, and he refuses to budge.
It looks like we’re going to be here for a while, standing by the entrance of my friend’s apartment building with my belongings packed into heavy bags.
My shoulder is already aching from the band cutting into the skin, but compared to the pain inside me, it’s nothing.
“Luc, tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll leave. But I need you to look at me when you say it because I love you and I want to be with you.”
I shake my head. “No you don’t. You told me you only said yes to my proposal because my father was there.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. It caught me off guard, and I regret what I said to you. I love you and I’ll prove it.” For reasons unknown to me, he starts rummaging through his pants pocket. “You showed me you’re ready to take the next step, so I’ll do the same. Put your hand out.”
He pulls something from his pocket—I can’t see what it is.
His hand is clenched in a fist, hanging by his side, and it looks like he’s holding something.
Does he have something to give to me? Clueless as to what it could be, I simply do as he says, putting my hand out, palm open. He presses something into it.
“This is the key to my house. It’s the only one I have on me right now, which means that I can’t enter my own house without you. I hope this proves that I trust you. Also, you don’t have to return it. I want you to come live with me.”
My mouth falls open as I stare at the silver key Cody gave me. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. We can live there until we’re ready to move to France . . . where we’ll get married.”
My mind is spinning. I don’t know what to think, and I’m scared to let myself believe it’s all true. For a while, I remain silent, conflicted about what to do. In France, where we’ll get married, he said. Deep down, that is what I want.
I stare at him for several seconds, debating whether I’ll give him another chance. Ultimately, I decide to trust him just a little bit. If this were anyone else but Cody, I’d be long gone, but it’s already been proven that he’s the one person in the world I have difficulty staying away from.
“Okay, I’ll go with you,” I tell him, keeping my guard up.
“And I’ll move in with you, but if I think you’re doing this out of pity even for a second, I’m out.
I’ll leave in the middle of the night and go somewhere you can’t find me.
You’ll never see me again, understand? I don’t want your sympathy. ”
“Luc, I—”
“That’s the deal, okay?”
Cody’s jaw clenches and unclenches. “Okay, but don’t run because you’re scared, please. I’m not doing this out of pity.”
I give him a brief nod before readjusting the bag strap on my shoulder. “Let’s go, then.”
The cold metal of Cody’s key digs into my palm. I must say, it’s a good indication of trust on his end. I’m interested to see how this will play out.