Chapter 28 Cody
It’s settled: Luc and I are moving to France.
Who would have thought? In less than a day, it’s been decided.
Sure, I still need to arrange everything at work, and there’s much to take care of, but my circumstances are already in stark contrast to last week, when I was thinking about ways to return home to my family.
Since then, I’ve suddenly become an engaged man, ready to move abroad with the person I love.
It’s all about taking the leap, as I mentioned to Luc’s dad.
Also, it doesn’t feel like I only met Luc a month ago.
It feels like much longer, and the time I spend away from him feels like eternity.
What makes this surprising is that I’m not your typical traveler.
Unlike some people from my past, I’ve never wanted to go backpacking, go on roadtrips, or see the world.
I prefer staying in one place around people I know.
Being here in Brussels has taught me that it doesn’t matter so much where that place is—it can be Canada, Europe, or perhaps even somewhere else—as long as it’s one central location.
I only started traveling because work offered the opportunity, and it was already a stretch.
Since coming to Brussels, I haven’t done much exploring.
On that front, it’s the same as back in Canada; I went on the yearly ski trip with my family, and that was it. That was enough for me.
Until . . . people around me started settling down.
My brothers got married, and my sister started bringing her boyfriend on the trips.
It took me a while to realize I was lonely and needed an escape.
Ultimately, the international job offer came at the perfect time.
If it weren’t for the opportunity, feeling alone among all those couples, and wanting a change of scenery, I would have grown old and died in Canada.
And I wouldn’t have met Luc. He perhaps would have abandoned his dream of moving to France and stayed in Brussels, I might have settled for a guy I would have gotten bored with over time .
. . and we would never have had this. Funny how things work out.
That certainly doesn’t mean things will happen automatically.
For the second time in less than a year, I’ll have to build a life in a place I don’t know, while still learning the language.
Okay, so that’s on me; I could have worked harder on my French, but I didn’t think I’d need it in the long term.
What also doesn’t help is that all French-speaking people talk incredibly fast, making it impossible to follow them.
Maybe if I’m lucky, things will be different in Besancon.
Luc said the people are friendly there. In the meantime, I’ll keep learning, and Luc can help me.
That’s one of the things on my list, along with asking my boss how he feels about me moving to central France.
If he says yes, I’ll need to check if my papers are still valid, cancel the rent on my house, settle on a leaving date, keep grinding away at my French, and most importantly, call my family.
It’s going to be an unusual video call. First, introducing them to Luc. Second, telling them we’re engaged. Third, announcing that we’re moving to France. And fourth . . . breaking the news that I’m not coming back.
Crap. A lump rises in my throat. I hadn’t thought of it like that. Loving Luc—a man who wants nothing more than to live in France—means leaving Canada behind for good. My hometown, my roots . . . all of it. Maybe I’ll still visit, but it won’t be home anymore.
Strangely, it didn’t feel that final when I talked to Luc. I didn’t do it intentionally, but maybe I treated it like going on a trip. This is different, though, because it’s forever. It’s not that I’ve changed my mind, I still want this, but the weight of it hits me heavier than I expected.
No more spontaneous ski trips in the Rockies. No more summer weekends at the cottage by the lake. No more watching hockey at the neighborhood bar, shouting at the TV with strangers who feel like family. No more maple taffy at winter festivals.
I’ll miss all of it, and I’m sure my family will remind me of that—intentionally or unintentionally.
Worst possible outcome of the video call?
My mother will cry. My father will ask when and where they’ll see me again.
My sister Kim will be disappointed that I’m no longer the big brother protecting her.
My brothers will point out my inability to perform my godfatherly duties while I’m away.
Overall, there are so many things they could say to guilt-trip me.
Perhaps they won’t even mean to; they’re all great, and I love them.
So, who knows, maybe I’ll just end up guilt-tripping myself.
“What are you thinking about?” Luc suddenly asks me, his head tilted. I’ve been lost in thought, almost forgetting he was there. He must have noticed that something’s on my mind.
“Oh, you know,” I reply, trying to smile, but hardly succeeding. “Just thinking about moving and . . . leaving Canada forever.”
Luc blinks a few times, making me wonder if it’s the first time he realizes the implications of this too.
“Will you miss it?”
“Yes, parts of it, definitely.”
I can tell he’s conflicted, perhaps afraid that something he’ll say will make me change my mind. Ultimately, he pushes on. “Are you close with your family?”
“Yes.”
He presses his lips together. “Figures. You strike me as someone from an annoyingly perfect family. Are your parents still together?”
“Yes, my mom and dad have been married for forty-two years now and still going strong,” I reply, thinking back to them quite fondly.
But it also forces me to realize something else: there’s so much that Luc and I don’t know about each other.
I don’t like it, and I intend to use the upcoming months to change it. “Do you have siblings?”
“Only a step-brother I don’t talk to, and some cousins. You?”
I nod. “I have an older brother, Barry, a younger brother, Brian, and a younger sister, Kim.”
“Wow, so three siblings and parents who can stand each other. Sounds nice.” He fails to keep the cynicism out of his voice, impossible not to notice.
“I take it your parents are no longer together?”
He scoffs at the question. “No. My mom and dad’s fairy tale—if it could ever be called that—ended years ago with a lot of anger and hate, with me in the middle of it.”
“When did they get divorced?”
“When I was fourteen.”
Something occurs to me. “So, when you moved here? Was that the reason?”
“Yes.”
My mind boggles at the revelation. “God, we have a lot of catching up to do. There’s still so much I don’t know about you.”
He shakes his head in disagreement. “No, there isn’t. Honestly, there isn’t much more for you to know.”
I give him an incredulous frown. “Are you kidding me?! There’s so much to dive into. You don’t just sell cakes, you also bake them. Your best friends are models. You’ve lived through more than you let on, and I only just figured out why you live here in Belgium when you love France so much.”
He shrugs. “There isn’t much else to know. And making friends with models and baking cakes isn’t so exciting; it just happened.” He starts smiling. “Honestly, moving to France with you will be the best part.”
His excitement is infectious, and I return his smile, reaching for his hand.
As I hold it, looking into his eyes, I know there’s no question that I’ll move with him.
The fact that I don’t know everything there is to know about him won’t change that.
I already decided: I’m taking the leap. And that means crossing borders, living a life I never would have imagined.
Because Luc is worth it. He isn’t just the reason I’m moving—he’s my home.