3.
FARRAH
I hauled the last bin of my things out to my car and sighed when I put it in the trunk with the other two.
At forty-five years old, all of my belongings fit into three bins and one trash bag. Considering that I arrived in Rojo less than a year ago with a packet of release papers and my expired driver’s license, I wasn’t doing too bad. At least I was still sober and out in the free world, where I planned to remain for the rest of my days.
“Why are you staring into the trunk?” Moe asked as she walked up and put a bin of her things into the back seat with the others. “Is there a body in there?”
“I was just looking at the stuff I’ve collected and thinking that even though there’s not much, it’s more than I had not too long ago.”
“I was just thinking that I need to get rid of some shit. After twenty years of only being allowed two books, a Bible, and the bare necessities as far as clothing goes, I’m not sure I’ll ever be anything other than a minimalist.”
“I want all the things, but I want them to mean something. I want knickknacks that have a funny story behind them and art on the wall that speaks to my soul. I want hanging plants with vines so long that I have to put hooks on the wall and coasters with funny sayings that make guests smile.”
“You are the most bohemian person I’ve ever met, and I’ve met some characters in my time.”
“You’re such a curmudgeon.”
“I’m never buying you a word-of-the-day calendar again.”
“I like it! I’ve expanded my vocabulary.”
“Are we going today, or should we stand here and reminisce about our glorious time in the halfway house?” Moe asked as she looked back at the rundown home where we’d been living with four other women for the past few months. “If we don’t hurry up, Jill is going to come out here and ask for a ride, and I can’t guarantee I won’t throw her out the fucking window when she starts complaining about some bullshit that’s actually her fault.”
“Did you hear that her kids moved here to be near her?” I asked.
“You moved here to be near your kid.”
“I know, but I’m just saying that uprooting an entire family to be closer to her is insane to me.”
“I don’t trust her.”
“You keep saying that.”
“I don’t know why Zoey wants to give her a chance,” Moe said in exasperation. “Can she really not see what a bitch Jill is?”
“I’m not sure whether Zoey is just giving her enough rope to hang herself or if she honestly believes the woman is worth her time and effort. I guess we’ll see.”
“Janis may kill her before then if she fucks up at the bakery.”
“True.”
“God, I love that girl.”
“Janis is the best. Once the office gets up and rolling, I’m really going to miss working with her. She’s been such a good friend to me when she really didn’t have to be.”
“Because she can see that underneath that hippie exterior, you’re worth it.”
“That was alarmingly close to a compliment, Moe. Are you feeling okay?”
“Get in the car and drive before I steal your keys and run you over,” Moe threatened.
“Jeez. I can’t imagine how pleasant my life might be without you in it.”
“You’re stuck with me, girlfriend. Get used to it.”
“As terrifying as that thought is, I guess I am.”
The drive over to The Flower Patch took a little longer than usual since most people were on their way to work. I wanted to get an early start because I knew I’d need to go shop for some last-minute items and wanted to spend hours puttering around my new place.
When we pulled onto the road that ran by Zoey’s family homes, I saw three huge trucks carrying machinery in the distance and knew that the next stage in getting the land ready to plant was underway.
Mondays almost always sucked, but today was going to be the best day I’d had in a long while. After almost a week of preparation and paperwork, it was finally time for us to move in, and even though she tried to hide it, I knew that Moe was just as excited as I was.
I drove past the large trucks and trailers, wondering what each piece of big machinery was for. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walk out from between two trucks on the side of the road into the path of my car and hit the brakes so hard that Moe’s seat belt locked, which caused her to let out a loud grunt.
“What the fuck, Farrah?” Moe asked.
The man that had walked out into the road stopped in front of my truck and glared at me until we recognized each other at the same time.
“That’s Mr. Hot and Dangerous from the gym!” Moe said loudly, not caring that the windows were down and he could probably hear us.
I realized he had when a slow smile transformed his face into the carefree guy I’d met last week. He took his eyes off of me long enough to walk across the road before he stopped and turned back toward my car and then slowly motioned for me to go ahead.
“Sorry!” I called out as I drove past him.
“Ladies first!” Lynn yelled back.
“Smartass,” I muttered as I turned into the parking lot of the store we were helping Zoey work on this week.
“You should be nice and see if he’ll show you his machinery,” Moe suggested.
“Did you look at him, Moe? The man is a walking red flag.”
“Because he works out and has a job? What a menace.”
“I was instantly attracted to him. That says enough about his character.”
“If you weren’t so fucked up in the head, I might have thought you were the normal one in our relationship.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You found him attractive, so obviously that means he’s a piece of shit?” Moe asked.
“Of course it does. Look at my track record.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t see him dealing little baggies of the hard stuff in the alley behind the gym or snorting lines off the bar top at the juice bar, did I?”
I pulled around the building and parked in the area reserved for employees and residents before I turned toward Moe and said, “No.”
Clearly on a roll now, Moe started talking with her hands as she tended to do when she was irritated, and said, “He was at a gym where he pays to be a member, drinking that sludge you pretend you don’t hate and working out with a friend who looks like he teaches geometry at the local high school. Now, he’s here at an actual job at this ungodly hour, and unless that water bottle he was carrying is filled with vodka, he’s sober and ready to work. Someone call the authorities because the guy’s a menace to society!”
“He makes me . . . I’m not sure I’m ready for all of that.”
“You didn’t even give the guy a chance to ask you out! You dragged me out of that gym like you’d just robbed the place and were trying to make it to the getaway car before the cops showed up.”
“Because I didn’t think I’d be able to say no if he did ask.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but celibacy isn’t one of the stipulations of your parole.”
“You know it’s not.”
“So, what’s the problem? It’s not like you have an appointment to look at wedding venues, dumbass! If you play your cards right, you may get yourself an opportunity to see that man gloriously naked, and maybe, just maybe, he’ll have the skills to do things to you that haven’t been done in decades.”
“Decades?” When Moe shrugged, I sighed and said, “With my track record . . .”
Moe put her hand up to stop me before she interrupted, “What you’re not taking into account is that before you went to prison, you were too busy finding your next fix to pay attention to red flags and gut instincts, plus you surrounded yourself with people who didn’t give a shit about anything but their next fix. Things are different now. You’re sober and have been for a long time, you attend meetings and group sessions on the regular, and you have friends like me who know that your sobriety is just as important as mine.”
“Right.”
“ I hope you understand that if I see you teetering on the edge of the shitstorm, I’m gonna yank you back quick enough to give you whiplash, just like I hope you would do for me.”
“Of course I would!”
“Take a chance, Farrah. You’re gonna have to learn to trust yourself someday, so why not make it today?”
“I’ve got a lot going on.”
“I know, but being sober doesn’t have to mean being alone, Farrah. It’s not a death sentence, it’s a chance at a new life, which I plan to hold on to with all my might just like you should.”
“I don’t want to see the change come over his face when he realizes that I’m not just an employee here, but a resident too. He’ll immediately know that I’ve got a past.”
“We all do. It’s what we do going forward that matters. Embrace it and put your big girl panties on. Talk to the man. Flirt. Fuck the man if you want to, but don’t run from him because of something that may or may not happen. That’s no way to live.”
“I’m not gonna promise to do anything but think about it, and I’m going to do that while I unpack and enjoy my new house.”
“As long as you’re at least willing to consider it, I’m happy . . . for now.”
“I don’t see you out tearing up the dating scene, woman!”
“I’ve got a much darker history than you do, Farrah. Here I am preaching about how you need to at least try, but it’s gonna be a lot easier to explain what you went to prison for than what I did. I’m still trying to figure out how to navigate that land mine.”
“I’ll help you do that as soon as you’re ready.”
“I know you will.”
◆◆◆
LYNN
As much as I wanted to follow that car and find out why Farrah had left so quickly last week at the gym, I had things to do. Very important things that didn’t have anything to do with the job I was starting today.
Once I gave the crew their orders and enough tasks to keep them busy, I hurried back to my truck and used the link my attorney sent to log into the portal for the virtual courtroom. Luckily, I was a few minutes early since the judge was a stickler for keeping things on time. After the attorneys went through their introductions, I listened to the caseworker explain the circumstances of Berklee and Brinlee’s file and then watched as Leanne’s attorney explained that she had accepted the DA’s plea deal and signed the paperwork that gave me full custody of the girls.
This wasn’t the first time I had to appear in court for the girls, but from what my attorney said, it would hopefully be the last. This was an open and shut case, and I just had to answer a few questions before it was all over. As glad as I was to have it over and done with, it amazed me that my granddaughters’ futures were decided so quickly by strangers who had never even laid eyes on them.
Just a few minutes after the court session was over, my attorney FaceTimed me to explain the next steps and told me that he would get in touch with me when he had the final documents. As soon as we hung up, I called Lanna.
“Is it over?” Lanna asked. When I nodded, she wiped the tears off her cheeks and said, “I don’t know why I’m crying. We knew this was coming.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier, though.”
“Are you okay?”
“Sweetheart, I’m more worried about you right now. I know this brings up a lot of bad memories, and the last thing you need is to get caught up in all of this emotion. If you need to close up the office and go kiss your kids, take the day on me.”
“I don’t want them to see me upset. Besides, you know I do better when I’m busy. What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to work for a bit before I have to pick up the girls for their counseling sessions.”
“Was this weekend rough?”
“They were sad but more relieved that everything is finally settled.”
“That’s sort of how I feel.”
“Your sister has accepted that she’s going to be gone for a long time, and I think she’s going to push for me to keep the girls away from her, at least for a while.”
“But . . .”
“I’m going to get the final word on that from their doctor, Lanna.”
“Yessir.”
“What do you think about us getting together for a big family dinner this evening?”
“I’m seven months pregnant, Dad. At this point, it’s a hostage situation and I’m being ruled by the tiny dictator inside me. Yes, I want to eat. Everything. All the time.”
“You still have an obsession with wings?”
“God, yes.”
“The hotter the better?”
“This kid is going to come out with a habanero in each hand.”
“My house, seven o’clock.”
“I will be there with bells on, and I’ll bring plenty of food for my kids so you don’t have to worry about feeding them.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“I love you, Dad. I want you to know that you’re my hero. You stepped in for me and Leanne when we needed you, and now you’ve done the same thing for Leanne’s kids. We’re the luckiest girls in the world.”
“Love you, too, Lanna Banana. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Bye, Dad.”
“Oh! One more thing,” I rushed to say before she hung up.
“What?”
“I’ll make sure and get a couple dozen extra so you can have leftovers tomorrow.”
“Total hero move, Dad. Marvel’s got nothing on you.”
I was still laughing when Lanna blew me a kiss and ended the call. I was glad that she was doing okay, but I was really worried about her sister. It hurt more than anything to know that she was going to be spending the rest of her children’s childhoods and then some in prison, but deep in my heart, I knew it was what she deserved for the crime she’d committed.
Now that her care and safety were out of my hands, it was time to focus on Brinlee and Berklee, twin spitfires who had been through too much shit in the last few years. Just like when my daughters were going through this same trauma in their young lives, I needed to step up and make things right for them in the hopes that they could break the fucking cycle our family seemed to be stuck in.
It was about time for us to catch a goddamn break, and beginning our lives together as a permanent family was going to be the perfect start to that.