Chapter 5
21st December
Queenstown, NZ
Will
I'm out of my fifth cold shower since yesterday, but who’s counting. I punished my body in the gym enough but still can't shake this need, this ache. I slept like a raging bull, tossing and turning, dreaming about Kat. Te memory of kissing Kat, her legs wrapping around me, enveloping me.
My phone rings, and I put the dumbbell on the rack, wiping my hands on a towel. The screen flashes to my manager’s face and I sigh as I answer the video call.
“So, how’s it going, champ?” he says. “I bet you’re raring to go back on the track.”
I bark a short laugh. Sometimes Tom is such a dick.
“I've only just arrived a couple of days ago. No way.”
“Are you sampling the local delights?”
My brow furrows. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“Any girls that I should know about or pay off?”
This annoys me no end. “You know me. I’m not Rinaldi. It’s not my style.”
Yeah, but you’ve never gone on holiday before. Five years and no break may make Will a horny boy.”
“Cut it out.”
“Hey man, as long as you keep it out of the press, I don’t care. ”He shrugs, swiping some imaginary fluff off his chequered Gucci suit.
“Is that everything? I need to go to buy another Christmas tree.”
“For now. Stay out of trouble. Good luck, have a good one. Speak soon!”
The video call fades to black, and I slam the mobile phone down. I can't expose Kat to this world, I can't. I'll take her to that Christmas tree farm and tell her we can't go down this road. A holiday fling is out of the question. I care about her too much for that.
With a new found resolve, I put on my sneakers and a cap. In the car I even talk myself into not seeing her at all after today.
I mean, if the temptation isn't there, there's nothing to worry about. She'll have Christmas and New Year's with her family, I'll have them with my family, then we'll both go back to our respective lives, hers in England with her aunt, and me in Monaco or wherever the hell my manager thinks I should live next.
I pull up outside her house and she's already outside waiting. My jaw drops. She's wearing denim shorts, a flower print t-shirt and tennis shoes, and looks devastatingly beautiful. She climbs in and leans back. “Let's go.”
I blink and start the journey around the lake towards Glenorchy and the Christmas tree farm.
“How was your morning?” She adjusts the radio and my resolve starts to slowly evaporate.
“Not too bad. Did some training. Spoke with my manager. What about yours?”
“Helped my parents with some stuff at the flour mill. They're really keen for me to stay on after January and help out.”
I sense anguish in her voice. “And you want to go back to England to help your aunt. Or do something with your fashion idea. “
She shakes her head. “I don't know what I want to do. I'm being pulled in so many different directions.”
I nod. Am I one of those directions? Now would be a good time to bring up that there's nothing between us, and it's best to leave it as is. But for some reason, I choke.
“But I don't want to trouble you with my stuff. Let's focus instead of finding the perfect little tree for the reception area at the lodge.”
The sign for the Christmas Tree farm looms ahead and I pull into the car park. The tips of tall pines cut across a blue sky, and red velvet ribbon curls around the lot, held up by posts painted bright green. The bells loop through them chime on a cool breeze.
“This place is magic, don't you think?” Her eyes sparkle and she twirls.
I feel like I could buy her the whole damn Christmas tree farm. “Definitely magic.”
We walk through the rows of pine trees of different sizes, and Kat points at one the same height as her. “What about this one? I reckon it's the right size.”
Before I get the chance to speak, a mop of dark hair rises between the trees. “Will? Will de Jong?”
I recognise the voice through a fog of memories. “Nikos, my man!”
Nikos appears from behind some pine trees with a large grin. We shake hands and I envelop him in a bear hug.
“How are you,” I ask. “Haven't seen you in ages, man.”
“Same old same old, bro. Look at you though, you're even taller. And richer.”
I laugh. “Not that much.”
Nikos crosses his arms. “And who do we have here? Little Kitty Kat. Howdy, cuz.”
It's the height of summer but I swear the atmosphere’s turned cold. Kat is positively glacial. “Hey Nikos, long time no see.”
He nods and says, “I guess I'll see you guys around. Need to organise a catch up, bro. Hit me up.”
I nod and wave, as he walks away.
“He's going to ask you for money, I hope you know that. He asked me the other day.” Kat's words stop me in my tracks.
My brow furrows. “He wouldn't be the first one. I don't mind.”
“You've always been so generous, even before you made it big in car racing. Remember when I lost my headband at school, and you made me one from twigs?”
I smile. “You were crying on the playground. I was a goner then.”
Kat laughs. “Best get that tree before more people jump out from the bushes.”
I find someone who works there, wearing a battered cap, and point to the tree Kat chose. “Can we have this one please?”
He flips his cap backward then chops the tree cleanly in two strokes. He lifts it up and tosses it to me.
“Good catch!” Kat winks. “I’ll take a look at the ornaments. I know they have lots of really nice handmade ones from local artisans.”
I carry the tree to the till, and I'm greeted by a wonderful sight.
“Mrs Jones!” I exclaim. “Kat, come here, look who it is.”
“Will and Kat, oh my. Look at you.” Mrs. Jones, our old school teacher, embraces each of us. “I'm so happy to see you. I taught you both at different times. I'm so proud of you, Will. We're all very proud of you. “
“Have you stopped teaching now, Mrs Jones?” Kat asks while checking out the Christmas tree ornaments.
“No, no. I’m here for the school holidays. I’m helping out my nephew Zac who bought this Christmas tree farm off old Maud.”
Kat nods and places two delicate ceramic ornaments on the counter. A capybara and a giraffe. She takes her purse out of her small backpack and I intervene. “Mrs. Jones, I'll pay for these. The tree and Kat’s ornaments.”
Before Kat has a chance to say something I've already put my black Amex on the counter. Mrs. Jones laughs. “We don't take credit cards here on the tree farm, dear. We're not in Monaco or wherever you live these days.”
I get flustered and start looking through my wallet for another card or some cash.
Kat giggles and takes out three twenty dollar bills from her purse and places them on the counter.
I put my wallet away, sulking. “Thank you.” I tell Kat. “I’ll pay you back soon.”
Mrs. Jones chuckles as she wraps the delicate ornaments and hands them to Kat. “There you go, my darling. I always knew that you two would end up together.”
I protest. “It's nothing like that, Mrs. Jones, we're just …”
She smiles. “Merry Christmas.”
Kat says, “Merry Christmas to you and yours” in return, and I mumble a greeting.
I lift up the tree and carefully place it in the car boot.
We get in the car, Kat holding on to her precious giraffe and capybara ornaments, me holding on to whatever dignity I have left.
“That was funny.” Kat’s chuckle breaks the silence. “Flexing your black Amex at the Christmas tree farm in the middle of nowhere. I don't think Mrs. Jones had ever seen one of those before.”
I press my lips together. “Yeah. That was pretty bad, wasn't it.”
“Not that bad. I rescued you. Like a shield maiden in shining armour.” Kat giggles.
I nod. “That you did.” Kat has always made me feel at ease, like I could do no wrong. And if I did, there would always be a solution, a way out. This makes me even more determined to break things off.
“This is just perfect, Kat. I knew you'd get the right tree for this room. You've got an eye for these things.” My mum fawns over Kat.
“Are you staying for dinner?” Daryl asks while munching on a pear.
Oh no, this is turning into a disaster. My family is meddling again.
As much as I enjoyed the results of their meddling last night, I can’t let it happen again. No more kissing Kat. Before she can answer Daryl, I say, “I have something in the evening, so I'll be taking Kat home now. I'm sure she's got plenty of other things to do then hang out with us all the time. She's got her own family.”
Everyone looks stricken. Including Kat. No, I must stay the course. I'm going back to my life in Monaco and she's going back to London or York or Newcastle or wherever it was to help her aunt, and figure out her life.
I force a fake smile but gather all my strength and put a very gentle touch on Kat’s arm to usher her out.
She smiles but it's not her usual smile. “What plans do you have now a few days out from Christmas?”
I'm going to spend the night drinking and playing video games and not imagining what could have been, what could be. Hah. I wish.
Instead of the truth, I choose a bland lie. “I’m just catching up with some friends.”
She side-eyes me. “Anyone I know?”
“No, just different ones, you wouldn't know them.”
When we get in the car she clutches her ornament bag yet again.
Right. It’s time. I clear my throat, but it still feels somehow hoarse. This is for her own good. My own good. Remember the why , Will.
“I am going back to Europe in a few days. You will be going back to your aunt. It's for the best if we don't see each other again at all.”
I can't look at her. I'm grasping the steering wheel like it's a lifeline.
“Right. Well, in that case, it was great catching up with you again. Wishing you the best.”
I'm still dazed, and we've already got to her house and I stopped like on auto-pilot. She kisses me goodbye on my cheek leaving a searing mark, grabs her bag with those blasted ornaments and exits the car.
I stare at her going in. When she closes that door, it will be a closed door on us. Not that there ever was an us. Why does it feel like she’s leaving a hole inside my chest, then? It’s for the best. Four days until Christmas. I could even go back on Boxing Day, I don't need to stay until New Year's.
I accelerate towards the house in Sunshine Bay, speeding like I'm on the autobahn to nowhere, enveloped by Kat's perfume permeating the car's interior.
The lake view is worth a million dollars. Or in this case three million. Peaceful, serene. Twinkling Christmas lights in the distance. I think I can make out the shape of the giant Christmas tree from the town centre in the distance.
In the past hour I've done exactly what I said I wouldn't do. I wrote various messages to Kat in the Notepad app on my phone.
I stalked her Instagram, careful not to like any posts. I lied to Daryl that I'm fine.
I made a hundred scenarios in which I would whisk Kat away with me to Monaco. Or I could even move to York. I've never been, but surely it must be nice if Kat likes it.
I take a deep breath in the fresh mountain air. Somewhere on the left hand corner of the lake is Kat's house. A ten minute drive but somehow miles and miles away.
The walls are closing in, so I grab my phone, wallet and keys, and bolt out the door. An evening run after dinner is just what I need to forget. To put aside these thoughts.
I run in the fresh summer air, my lungs expanding and a sweet poisonous pain blooming in my chest. I run aimlessly on roads I know like the back of my hand until my legs burn. I stop, wipe my forehead with the back of my hand, and take stock of where I am.
Kat's street. Of course, my traitorous legs would carry me this way. I shake my head. I can't keep doing this. I need to see her.
At that moment, a dog barks, the light turns on in Kat's bedroom upstairs, and she appears at the window.
“Kat?” I shout.
“Will? What are you doing here? Did you… run here from Sunshine Bay?” She seems incredulous.
“Yes.” I own up to it. There's no turning back now.
Kat
Will is dripping in sweat, standing outside on the path under a street lamp. His red curls are plastered to his forehead and his hands are shaking. Anger washes over me first. Then confusion follows.
“Surely not even you can run back all that way! Let me take you back.”
Instead of protesting like he usually does, he just says, “Thank you.“
In a split decision, I throw a change of clothes in my backpack. One last try, Kat, one last try.
I pick up my water bottle and car keys. My parents are already in bed so I text mum on the way out the door that I'm going out, but I may not be back until the morning.
Once outside, I throw Will my water bottle. “Have a drink, need to stay hydrated. “I point to my old Suzuki Swift that my parents have stubbornly held onto. “Carriage, my lord.”
He squeezes in the passenger seat and extends the seat as much as possible. He still looks uncomfortable, like a giraffe in a box. I burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.
“I've rescued you twice today now. You owe me. “I wink at him and set off.
He fiddles with the battered air con and gives up. “You need a new car.”
“I don't live here, remember. I have another car in England. Though not that different from this one.”
“Listen, about earlier…”
I interrupt him, because I'm not ready to hear him cut me off again. “I think enough was said. Let's change the topic.”
He swallows and drinks some more water. “Fourth house on the right, the one with the black fence.”
I can see it from a mile away. Super flashy. No wonder his parents don’t want to move there. It's just not them. I raise my eyebrows. “Cool pad.”
As we approach he presses a button and opens the gates. I park right outside the house, and the gates close behind us.
Will exits the car. I take a deep breath, pick up my bag and follow him. He seems surprised but doesn't comment.
I joke “I'm like a vampire, I need to be invited inside”.
He laughs, punches in an access code, and swipes a card to open the front door. “Definitely, welcome to come in and see the house. My mum and dad don't want anything to do with it.”
I take a deep breath and step in. Instinctively, I walk towards the floor to ceiling windows. The lake stretches out like a mirror before us. “That's a view alright.”
“Sure is.” I turn to see Will patting his forehead with a towel and looking at me intently.
I decide to lay my cards on the table. “I've brought an overnight bag.”
I watch as the confusion clouds his eyes, and then the penny drops. With lightning reflexes, he throws the towel to the side and in two strides reaches me and picks me up. Our lips meet hungrily, and our tongues do an ancient dance.
He carries me in his strong arms then gently lays me down onto the cool, crisp linen of his bed. The mere touch of his hands against my skin sends shivers of anticipation through my body. With frenzied urgency, we strip each other of our clothes, revealing bare flesh and heated desire.
His lips traverse a path from mine to my throat and chest, igniting a fire within me that cannot be tamed. When he takes my nipples between his teeth, I moan with pleasure. And as his warm breath washes over me, he whispers those three words that make my heart swell with emotion.
"I need you."
My feelings for him consume me like a tight embrace, and I gasp in ecstasy. But alongside this elation comes fear. What does this mean for us? For me?
His fingers find their way to my core and with expert precision, he brings me to the peak of pleasure. He licks his fingers clean before continuing his exploration with his tongue, delving and swirling until I can no longer hold back. My body trembles and convulses as he devours me with unbridled passion, until I scream out his name.
And then, as if he knows exactly what I need, he sheathes himself in a condom and enters me in one fluid stroke. We move together in perfect harmony, lost in our own world of intense intimacy. I pull him closer, our bodies entwined as he drives deeper and deeper inside me. And when we finally reach the pinnacle of pleasure together, he kisses me deeply and releases himself deep within me.
With our breathing still heavy and our bodies intertwined, we lay in blissful exhaustion - two souls joined together in an explosion of love and desire.