Chapter Four
HOW DID SHE land in this much trouble simply by going for a run?
Rayne shook her head, disgusted by the morning’s turn of events.
As bad as she felt about the drama, she should have gone home to shower instead of agreeing to talk with Grant at his home before they drove to Fortress headquarters for training. She wasn’t in the mood for a chat.
“I’m sorry.”
She spun to face Grant, who had no expression on his face. Immediately, she went to him and cupped his face between her palms. “No. You don’t get to blame yourself for this. It isn’t your fault.”
“If I hadn’t dated Selena in the first place or perhaps handled the breakup differently….”
“Grant, stop. This isn’t on you.”
“Yeah, babe, it is. If nothing else….”
“Don’t say it,” she snapped.
“What?”
“You know what. Don’t say you should have stayed away from me.
” She shoved her hands through her hair and turned away to pace.
“Seth and Noah said as much when they were fighting to protect themselves and their wives. You’re smarter than to say something that will make me want to punch you for your own stupidity.
It’s bad enough that they did it. Prove you’re smarter than they are. ”
His jaw flexed. “You deserve better than to be dragged into the mud because of me.” He cut her off when she tried to protest again. “You know it’s the truth.”
“What I know is we all have things in our past we’d like to keep hidden. What’s true is that secrets always come to the surface, no matter how deep we’ve buried them.”
When she paced by Grant again, he reached out, snagged her wrist, and hauled her into his arms. “Rayne, stop. Please.”
She buried her face in his neck. “Whatever is buried in your past isn’t nearly as bad as mine,” Rayne whispered.
His laugh was short and hard. “You don’t know me that well.”
Rayne glanced up into his pain-filled eyes. “That’s something I intend to change as quickly as possible.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Positive.” What if Grant rejected her after he learned what she’d done? “If you’re willing to give me a chance.”
Grant cupped her nape. “Baby, if we’d had this conversation last week, I would have been the happiest guy on the planet. To have a chance with you is a dream come true.”
“But?” She knew it was coming.
“It’s not fair to you.”
“How did you reach that conclusion?”
“Several reasons. First, I’m not like my teammates. My family wants nothing to do with me. Second, you can do better than me any day of the week. Third, I don’t want to drag you down with me. Fourth, apparently my taste in women is questionable.”
Amusement swirled through Rayne. “First, I’m not attracted to Seth, Noah, Elias or Andre.
I’m attracted to you. Second, my family disowned me.
Third, you aren’t dragging me anywhere. I’m walking with you voluntarily.
And fourth, I think your taste in women is impeccable since you’re interested in me.
” She sobered. “At least for the moment.”
“You expect that to change?”
“It’s possible.”
Grant slid his hand from her nape to her hand and threaded their fingers together. “Come with me.”
“Where are we going?”
“My library. We need somewhere quiet and comfortable for this discussion.”
“We should get ready for work, Grant. This discussion can wait.”
“We have to clear the air so I can concentrate when we’re training. If we don’t, I’m liable to do something stupid, which will lead to more training requirements by my sadistic team leader.”
“Seth’s not that bad.”
Grant glared at her. “You don’t know him like I do.”
“Have you spent any time with Iona? Seth is a pushover compared to Artemis’s team leader.”
He shook his head. “Not buying what you’re selling.”
Grant led Rayne down the hall to a cozy room filled with wall-to-wall books. A large leather sofa sat against one wall. An end table with a lamp on top snugged up against one arm of the sofa.
Grant turned the lamp on low and nudged Rayne to sit on the sofa. “Do you want hot tea or hot chocolate to drink?”
Her eyebrows rose. “You drink coffee strong enough to drop a bull elephant in its tracks. Why do you have tea and hot chocolate?”
His face flushed. “You like them. I stashed them in my cabinet for you.”
Okay. That was unexpected and romantic. How could Grant think he wasn’t good enough for her? Not only was he good enough, so far, he was a dream date. No one else in her life had been so thoughtful except for her mother. Until she wasn’t.
No. Not yet. She still had a little more time before baring her soul. “Hot chocolate, please. Thank you for thinking of me, Grant.”
He lifted her face toward his. “Thoughts of you fill my mind every minute we’re not on deployment.”
With that statement, Rayne fell a little more in love with the handsome operative. She tugged his head down to give him a light kiss.
“I’ll be back soon,” Grant murmured. He returned to the library ten minutes later with two steaming mugs in his hands. After handing one to Rayne, he joined her on the sofa. “What do you think of my library?”
She smiled, the knot in her stomach loosening at the delay in discussing an uncomfortable topic. “I’m impressed. Wish my apartment had an extra bedroom so I could create a library of my own.”
For a few minutes, Rayne relaxed, sipping hot chocolate as she and Grant talked about their training sessions for the day. And then her mug was empty, and she ran out of excuses.
Grant set aside their empty mugs, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and settled her against his side. “Tell me.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I don’t want to.”
“Why not?”
“You won’t look at me the same way.”
“How do I look at you now?”
A tear streaked down one cheek. “Like I’m your entire world. I don’t want to lose that.” The last time someone had looked at her that way had been years ago.
“Do you trust me?”
“With my life.”
“Then you know I would never hurt you. Nothing you’ve done will change how I look at you.” Grant turned more toward Rayne and eased her against his chest until her ear rested against his heart. “Talk to me, Rayne.”
“I have a juvenile criminal record.”
“That’s what Sanders and Conner were hinting at?”
She nodded.
His arms tightened around her. “Tell me what happened.”
Where did she start? Rayne held tighter to Grant, absorbing his heat and comfort and praying this wasn’t the last time she’d have that privilege.
“I grew up in a wealthy family. My parents were very popular in our town, organizing charitable events and contributing to the causes they promoted. They were the town darlings.”
Grant cupped Rayne’s nape, and somehow with that single touch, she could breathe easier and continue her sad tale.
“From the outside, our home looked like the perfect family.
A loving father and leader, a multi-talented and gorgeous homemaker who was the envy of every husband in town, and their daughter, a rising gymnastics star with perfect grades and attendance at school.
He kissed her temple. “And behind closed doors?”
“My father was a tyrant who abused me and my mother verbally and physically from the year I turned seven years old.”
Grant stiffened. “Did he molest you?”
She shuddered, grateful she’d been spared that trauma. The rest was enough to handle. “No.”
“What happened when you were seven to start his reign of terror?”
“Our town elected him as mayor. Mom made excuses for his behavior, saying he was under a lot of pressure at work, that he didn’t mean to hurt us.
I can’t tell you how many times I heard the same speech as she put ice packs on different places on my body.
Of course, none of the bruises were ever where you could see them.
Dad was careful to ensure nothing would show.
He didn’t want to answer for his actions.
Mom and I were so afraid of him that he never worried that we would tell someone. ”
Rayne swallowed hard, nausea swirling in her stomach. “As Dad’s ambitions for political office rose, his abuse became more frequent.”
“How did you hide the bruises when you were practicing for and competing in gymnastics competitions?”
“Dad was really clever about the abuse. When I had a competition coming up, he’d shift all of his abuse to Mom. After the competitions, though, he came after me for every minor infraction.”
“Your mother never tried to protect you, did she?”
Rayne shook her head, pushing down the resentment she still carried over her mother’s lack of action.
“To be fair, Mom tried the first few times, but she soon learned the more she protested and protected me or herself, the worse the situation grew. Dad accused her of not respecting him. What kind of husband and father would people see if they knew Mom didn’t treat him like a good wife should?
I didn’t know it then, but my mother was the stereotypical abuse victim.
She decided we deserved the punishment. If we did exactly as he said, things would be fine. ”
“But he always found a reason to punish you both, didn’t he?”
“Of course. We were never good enough for him. He wanted us to be perfect.”
Grant grunted. “How far did he want to go in politics?”
“He filed the paperwork to run for an open senatorial seat the week before he died.”
“How did he die?”
Rayne remained silent for a beat, then said, “I killed him.”