Chapter Seventeen #3
“You have me. You always have me.” He kissed her with soft, sweet persuasion, giving her the tenderness she craved, along with the love and comfort she needed and could only get from him.
The clothing he had lovingly dressed her in was removed with equal reverence.
His hands moved over her body with gentle strokes that had her arching into him, asking without words for the connection she needed so badly.
“Samantha,” he said on a whisper, his lips close to her ear, his breath sending a shiver of need through her. “I love you so much. So very, very much.”
Tears spilled from her eyes, and he kissed them away as he joined his body with hers, making slow, sweet love to her as she sobbed for her lost friend and colleague, for a life ended far too soon, for the family and friends who would miss him and mourn him.
All the while she clung to her husband as he moved within her, reminding her that life goes on, even in the most difficult of times.
“Shhh, I’m here. I’ve got you.”
She was safe with him, safe to let go of the despair that had gripped her since she first heard the awful news, safe to mourn and grieve. His love gave her a soft place to land in the midst of the madness that often surrounded her.
Buried deep within her body, he gathered her in close and held her tightly to him.
They stayed like that for endless moments, intimately joined, his love flowing through her and giving her the strength to go on, to move forward and to do what needed to be done while her heart broke into a million pieces once again.
Even in the grip of despair, her body responded to him, taking and sharing the sweet relief they found together, the heat of his release filling and sustaining her. For a long time afterward, he continued to hold her until her sobs quieted and the tears dried on her face.
“I could never face this life I lead without you to come home to,” she whispered.
“You’ll always have me to come home to. You’re my home, and I’m yours.”
“It says so in our rings.”
“Yes,” he said with a small chuckle, “it certainly does.” That they’d engraved the same thing inside their wedding rings without knowing had provided one of the more memorable moments of their wedding day. He withdrew from her, leaving her with a kiss when he went into the bathroom to clean up.
Nick returned with a warm washcloth that he used to wipe the remaining tears from her face.
Sam closed her eyes and gave herself over to his care. The next thing she knew, her alarm was going off, jarring her from a deep sleep, the heat of Nick’s body curled up to hers making her want to wallow in bed for as long as she possibly could.
And then she remembered. Arnold was dead.
A known human trafficker had killed him.
She was due at work in an hour to work the case.
The ache in the area of her heart hadn’t lessened overnight, but her resolve had strengthened.
Under no circumstances would the death of Detective Arnold go unpunished.
The fire for vengeance once again burned hot and bright within her, powering her out of bed and into the shower.
It stayed with her as she got dressed when she kissed her sleeping husband goodbye while whispering words of thanks that he would never hear but would carry her forward until she could be with him again.
Downing an apple and bottle of water as she drove her new car to HQ, she realized yesterday had merely been a dress rehearsal for today.
Today, she was truly back. Today, she would focus on what most needed to be done.
Today, she would put her own grief aside to tend to the people who would be looking to her for leadership and guidance as they navigated these turbulent waters together.
She would be what they needed, and then she would go home and take what she needed from the man she loved, who would prop her up through it all.
Today, she parked outside the main doors and approached the gathering of media with intent rather than her usual avoidance.
They began shouting the moment they saw her.
“Lieutenant!”
“Can we get a statement?”
“Are there any updates?”
“Have you seen the Arnold family?”
She stepped before them and waited for them to quiet down before she began to speak.
“As I mentioned yesterday, we’re heartbroken over the loss of our colleague and friend.
Detective Arnold was a distinguished member of the Metropolitan Police Department for the last seven years.
His rapid rise from Patrolman to Detective was a testament to his commitment to the job and the department.
We were proud of Detective Arnold and had great hopes for his future within the department.
I’ve been to see his parents, who are suffering as you’d expect but are strong in their resolve to see justice done on behalf of their son.
As are we. The U.S. Marshal Service is leading in the hunt for the man who shot Detective Arnold, and the FBI is coordinating the criminal case against a suspect who’s been positively identified.
I will defer future commentary about the criminal case to my colleagues within the FBI. ”
“Will you be attending your husband’s inauguration tomorrow?”
“Yes, I will. While I owe my allegiance to my brothers and sisters within this department in these difficult days to come, I also owe an allegiance to my husband. As such, I’ll be dividing my time between my obligations over the next few days.
But let there be no doubt that finding the person who killed my colleague and friend will be my top priority. ”
“Are you concerned about what people will say about you attending the inauguration while your colleagues are grieving?”
“That’s a fair question and one I’ve considered myself.
I apologize in advance to anyone who feels I shouldn’t be on that dais tomorrow.
But I’ll be where I’m supposed to be, and then I’ll return to my duties here.
In the years to come while my husband serves our country, I’ll often find myself divided between what I should do and what I must do.
I’ll always endeavor to do my very best for my team here and my family at home.
That’s all any of us can do, right? Our very best. I hope you’ll understand that I need to get to work. Thanks, everyone.”
She’d said more than she’d intended to. She’d made the most public statement yet about how she planned to juggle her competing roles.
But there was no time like the present, when her loyalties were deeply divided by demands at home and at work, to lay out how she planned to navigate these next four years.
She would do her best and let the lumps fall where they may.
People would take verbal potshots at her.
Those who felt she wasn’t a very good cop or those who thought their country deserved a more dedicated second lady.
Let them say what they would. She would continue to do her best and hope it was enough for those who mattered most to her.
Inside the main doors to HQ, Farnsworth and Cruz waited for her.
“That was unexpected, Lieutenant,” Farnsworth said.
“For me too, sir, but I suppose it was time to address the elephant in the room.”
“I suppose so.” He took a measuring look at her. “You’re feeling well?”
“I am. I’m ready to get back to work and to help in any way I can to find Androzzi.”
“Everyone is gathering in the conference room in fifteen minutes to regroup,” Farnsworth said. “I’ll be there shortly.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Sam walked with Freddie to the pit.
“That was quite something out there, Sam,” he said. “I think you left them speechless.”
“Good. That’s how I like them.”
“You’re doing okay?”
“I’m better than I was. You?”
“I’m sick at heart over what happened to Arnold, but determined to help get the guy who did it.”
“Have you spoken to Gonzo?”
“Not since yesterday. I assume he’ll be here soon.”
“He’s taking this harder than anyone.”
“We’ll be here for him like we always are.” He hesitated before he said, “So I have something I want to tell you, and the timing is all wrong, but I thought maybe some happy news might be welcome.”
She ushered him into her office and closed the door. “It’s very welcome.”
“While we were away, I asked Elin to marry me, and she said yes.”
Sam hugged him. “Of course she said yes. She knows she’s the luckiest girl in the world to be loved by you. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Sam. Means a lot coming from you.”
“We’ve got a son of a bitch to find. Let’s get busy doing that, shall we?”
Freddie nodded. “Let’s do it.”