Chapter Twenty-One
Sam drove home, thinking about each of the three things that had her attention—the Weber case, the hunt for the author of the anonymous note about her dad’s shooting and the situation with Gonzo and Ramsey.
At times like this, she wondered if it was possible for a head to explode.
If so, hers was going to blow at any moment.
The Gonzo situation was the last freaking thing she needed, and part of her was seriously pissed with her sergeant for putting himself—and her, by extension—in such a difficult position.
On the one hand, she believed addiction was a disease that made sane people do things they’d never ordinarily do.
On the other hand, he was a freaking cop who knew better than to go looking for drugs on the street.
Her stomach twisted with nerves and disappointment and fear for what was ahead for him. She’d do anything she could for him, but if word got out that he’d committed a crime, there wouldn’t be much she could do to protect him from the consequences.
She blamed the man who’d gunned down Arnold for all the troubles Gonzo had suffered through since that fateful night last January.
Soon it would be a year since the young detective’s tragic death, which was hard to believe.
So much had changed since then. Gonzo had been lost to the deepest kind of grief and self-recrimination for much of the last year, while Arnold’s close friend, Detective Will Tyrone, had decided to leave the department rather than continue to face the risks of the job on a daily basis. It had become too much for him.
Sam understood how that could happen. On many a day, it was too much for her, but she pressed on because the job was in her blood.
She couldn’t imagine walking away, no matter how bad it got.
Sometimes she allowed herself to entertain the idea of leaving, but she always came up short when trying to figure out what the hell she’d do with herself without the job that had defined her entire adult life.
She was waved through the Ninth Street checkpoint and parked in her designated spot. As she got out of her car, Celia drove through the checkpoint, waving to Sam as she went past. Sam waited for her stepmother to join her on the sidewalk and gave the other woman a quick hug. “How’s it going?”
“Oh, you know. It’s going.”
“Are you doing all right?”
“One minute I am. The next minute, I’m not.”
“What can I do?”
“I’m told it’ll take time.” Celia shrugged. “I’m thinking about finding a job so I don’t have so much time to kill. Taking care of your dad was a full-time job, and now that I don’t have that, I’m sort of lost.”
“That sounds like a good idea, but maybe go part-time at first. Ease into it.”
“I’ve put out some feelers with former nursing colleagues. We’ll see what comes up.”
“Why don’t you come have dinner with me? I’m sure everyone else has already eaten.”
“Sure, that sounds good. I’d love to see the kids.”
As they went up the ramp together, Sam was glad that Celia had agreed to come. She couldn’t bear to see the woman who had so lovingly cared for her father looking so sad.
“I suppose we should get rid of the ramps now that we don’t need them anymore,” Celia said.
“We can do it when we’re ready.”
“Will we ever be ready?”
“I think we will be eventually, but I’m not there yet.”
Celia offered a small smile. “Neither am I.”
“Then that’s not something we need to worry about now.”
“One day at a time.”
Nate, the agent working the door, greeted them with a warm smile. “Good evening, Lieutenant, Mrs. Holland.”
“Evening, Nate.”
Per usual around this time, they walked into bedlam, with Nick overseeing two five-year-olds in pajamas, their hair wet from a recent bath, as they pounced on thirteen-year-old Scotty, who was on the floor.
Celia laughed at the “ooph” that came from Scotty when Alden landed on his midsection.
Aubrey let out a shriek of excitement when she saw Sam and came running toward her, screaming Sam’s name.
Sam scooped up the little girl and wrapped her up in a tight hug, breathing in the fresh, clean scent of her. Over the child’s shoulder, she caught Nick watching her with a contented look on his face that made her heart lurch with happiness.
“How was your day, sweet girl?” Sam asked Aubrey.
“I miss Mommy and Daddy.”
“I know, baby.” Sam’s heart broke for her, as it did every time one of the twins mentioned their late parents.
She couldn’t imagine absorbing such a blow at the tender age of five.
In some ways, they were lucky because they wouldn’t remember much about the horror of losing their parents.
But that also meant they wouldn’t remember much about the two people who’d loved them more than anyone.
“Do you want to talk about Mommy and Daddy?”
She shook her head.
“You know you can, right? Anytime you want to talk about them, you can.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Do you want to call Elijah?”
“Can I?”
“Of course. You know he always wants to hear from you.”
“I’ll call him,” Nick said.
Elijah was good about taking their calls and being available to his siblings whenever they needed him. Now was no different.
“Aubrey wanted to say good-night,” Nick said. “Here she is.”
Sam put the child down on the sofa so she could talk to her brother.
Nick slipped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “Long day, huh?”
“Yep. Is there food?”
“Of course there is. Shelby never disappoints. Chicken and stuffing keeping warm in the oven.”
“Yummy. I brought home a hungry friend.”
“I see that.” Nick hugged and kissed Celia. “How’re you doing?”
She leaned into his embrace. “Eh, okay. It helps to be here surrounded by kids and activity.”
“Our home is your home. Anytime you need kids or chaos, we’ve got you covered.”
“Thank you, Nick. It means a lot to me to have so much support.”
“Keep an eye on Aubrey and send her in if she needs me when she gets off the phone.” Sam took Celia by the hand to lead her into the kitchen. “Wine?”
“Yes, please.”
Sam poured chardonnay for both of them and served up the dinner Shelby had made. “Thank God for Shelby.”
“You must say that every day.”
“I do. We’d be lost without her. She’s the glue that keeps this whole operation from spinning out of control.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re part of the glue, too.”
“No, I’m not. She’s the one who makes it all happen.”
“I beg to differ, but I’ll let you give her all the credit.”
“We’re very lucky to be able to have a family and two demanding careers. I’m under no illusions that we could do it without our village, which includes you and Tracy and Angela.” Sam’s sisters were a critical part of the glue that held her together.
“I’m happy to be part of your village.” Celia’s eyes filled with tears that she dabbed at with a napkin. “It’s good of you girls to keep me around now that your dad is gone.”
Sam stared at her. “Keep you around? We’re not doing that because we have to, Celia. We’re doing that because we love you. And not only because you took such marvelous care of Dad when he needed you, but we love you for you.”
Tears rolled down Celia’s cheeks. “Thank you. I love all of you so much. I never had children of my own, but if I had, I’d hope they’d be like you and your sisters.”
“We’re all yours. There’s no getting rid of us.”
“I’m sorry to be such a waterworks. I’ll be totally fine one minute and a blithering mess the next.”
“I cry in the car when there’s no one around to see me.”
“I cry in the shower.”
“That’s a good place, too.” Sam placed a hand over Celia’s. “From what I’m told, all of this is perfectly normal. We miss him.”
“I miss him so much. Even when he was unable to do anything, we still talked about everything, and that’s what I miss the most. His company.”
“He was always very good company.”
“Yes, he was.” Celia smiled softly. “He was my favorite person to talk to.”
“He was tied for first with Nick for me.” Sam took a sip of her wine. “Whenever you need someone to talk to who knew exactly what Skip would say in any situation, call me.”
“That’s very kind of you, Sam, but you’re so busy—”
“I’m never too busy for you.”
While they finished their dinner, Sam steered the conversation in a lighter direction. They talked about Angela’s third child, who was due next summer, her niece Brooke’s internship at the Smithsonian and the Alaskan cruise that Celia planned to take with her sisters in the spring.
They worked together to clean up the kitchen before Sam walked her stepmother home, hugging her at the foot of the ramp that led to her front door.
“Thank you for this, Sam. It was what I needed.”
“We’re three doors up the street anytime you need us. Just come over whenever you want. No need to call or text or knock. My home is your home.”
Celia hugged her again. “Thank you.”
“Sleep tight.” Sam waited until Celia was inside with the door locked before she returned to her own home, slowly walking up the ramp, filled with grief that her dad would never again come buzzing up that ramp in his chair. He’d loved being able to visit them.
Sam would never forget the day that Nick had the ramp installed as a surprise for her.
Of course she’d thought someone had blown up the stairs to their house and had nearly called in the cavalry, but fortunately she’d been set straight before she did that.
That still ranked right up there as the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her.
Nate admitted her as Nick was coming down the stairs.
“How’s Celia?” he asked.
“She’ll be okay. Eventually.”
“And you?”
“Same.” She put her arms around her husband and held on tight, appreciating that Nate stepped outside to give them some privacy. “I miss him like crazy.”
“I know you do. I do, too.”
“How do you think Scotty is doing with it all?”
“He misses him, but he seems to be rolling with it in his own way. They’re reading in the twins’ room if you want to tuck them in.”
“I want to. Let’s go.”