39
Mia
I awake with a slight queasiness, accompanied by a delicious ache between my legs.
Blushing at the memory of last night”s escapade, I remember how Bash led me to the shower after our gym session, where he ravished me until I could barely stand and ended up carrying me to bed afterward.
I hear the water running in the bathroom, so I scoot my legs to the side of the bed, a soft hiss escaping my lips as my lower half remembers how rough he was. But I”m not complaining; I love how he commands my body, making me feel things I’ve never felt or known before.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand, breaking the morning silence. Glancing at the screen, I see a text from Dr. Harlow.
Dr. Harlow: Good morning, Mia. Please give me a call when you have a moment.
Instead of responding immediately, I quietly slip out of our room and make my way to the room that was mine when I first arrived.
Answering on the second ring, I hear Dr. Harlow”s voice on the other end. ”Good morning, Mia. Thank you for calling me,” she greets.
”Hi, is everything okay with my blood work?” I ask, my heart rate quickening with anticipation.
”Yes, everything is fine, but I got your blood work back first thing this morning, and I wanted to share the news with you,” she says calmly.
”What news?” I ask, my breath catching in my throat.
”You”re pregnant, Mia,” she announces matter-of-factly. ”From the blood work alone, it seems you”re only a few weeks along. I”ll have to come by and do an ultrasound so we can check out that sweet little bundle. Are you free this afternoon?”
”W-what? Pregnant?” I stutter, my mind struggling to process her words. ”But I can”t be. I”m on the pill and have taken it religiously,” I argue, desperation creeping into my voice.
Dr. Harlow clears her throat, her tone sounding a bit like she”s explaining rocket science to a goldfish. ”It seems like you have been taking placebo pills,” she explains patiently as if speaking to a child. ”They aren”t birth control but merely filler pills that you generally take during your cycle, so you don”t forget to take a pill.”
”That”s not possible,” I say, speaking more to myself.
Still, she responds. ”I”m afraid so, dear.”
”Are you sure? Like, really, really sure that I”m pregnant?” I ask, the disbelief still lingering in my voice.
”Yes, I am fully sure that you are,” Dr. Harlow confirms firmly. ”And once I do the ultrasound, hopefully, we might even catch a glimpse of the little bean”s heartbeat.”
My hand automatically goes to my belly, even though there”s not a bump in sight. I start rubbing it absentmindedly. ”I”m free this afternoon,” I tell her quietly.
After hanging up with Dr. Harlow, I”m left with a whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. I decide that I want to wait until I see for myself that a tiny human is growing inside me before I break the news to Sebastiano. Maybe, just maybe, there”s still a chance that it isn”t true, though deep down, I know I”m just trying to convince myself otherwise.
Pushing the thought away, I return to the room to get ready for the day. The water is turned off, but I can still hear Sebastiano in the bathroom.
I knock gently on the door. ”Are you decent?” I ask through the door.
The door swings open, and steam surrounds me. Sebastiano stands there, in nothing but a towel tied low around his waist, droplets of water glistening on his skin.
”Morally, no, but my dick”s covered, if that”s what you”re asking,” he quips with a grin, bending down to give me a small kiss on my lips. ”You know, you don”t need to knock. It”s not like you haven”t seen me naked,” he adds with a smirk. ”And if my memory serves me right, I think you were begging for my dick last night, no?”
I return his smile. ”I”m just trying to be respectful of your space and not barge in on you,” I reply.
”Didn”t I tell you that you don”t need to ask to be anywhere I am?” he counters before turning back to the mirror to comb his hair, then heading toward the closet. My cheeks flush with embarrassment at his reminder, and I quickly step over to my side of the counter.
Glancing at the birth control pills lying near my makeup bag, I reach out to grab the packet, my fingers hesitating over the foil. But then, with a heavy sigh, I stop myself. There”s no need to take the fake birth control pills now.
As I toss the packet back into the bag, a nagging sense of unease creeps over me. Someone must have swapped them, but who? That”s a question that”s going to plague me until I find an answer. I know Sebastiano didn”t mess with them; he doesn”t want kids.
My spiral of thoughts is interrupted when Sebastiano re-enters the bathroom, his presence pulling me back to reality. ”I have a few meetings today, so I won”t be home until later this afternoon,” he says.
I look up at him, my breath catching in my throat at the sight before me. He looks as handsome as ever in his black-on-black suit, the crisp white shirt underneath somehow bringing out his dark brown eyes. His cocky smirk tells me that he knows I”m checking him out, but I just smile back at him, unable to resist the charm.
”I can”t wait to see you later,” I tell him before turning my attention back to getting ready.
With Sebastiano out of the house, I breathe a sigh of relief. I won”t have to come up with an excuse for why Dr. Harlow is coming back. It”s a perfect arrangement, and I can”t help but feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I know I”ll end up telling him regardless of what news I have, but remembering how tense he was the last time she was here, this arrangement eases my nerves.
Upstairs, I”ve been sitting in our dark room for what feels like an eternity, clutching the sonogram picture tightly in my hand. How can you love something that”s only a grainy blob on a screen?
I”m still trying to process it all, and I”m not sure how Sebastiano is going to react to the news. He was crystal clear about not wanting kids. But the thought of having a little Bash running around brings a smile to my face.
The image of a pudgy little boy with Sebastiano’s curly hair and those intense brown eyes causing mischief around the house - the thought makes my belly flip in excitement. Picturing the big, tough guy carrying a diaper bag and pushing a stroller makes me giggle. I think of him strutting down the street, looking like he”s about to bust some heads, but instead, he”s on his way to a playdate at the park.
Maybe it”s just the hormones talking, but the idea of raising our little family together only confirms my love for him. Sure, he may not be the most refined or gentlest man, but that”s what makes me crave him, and want him to ravish me. I”ve watched him shoot at people, threaten men, and even hit some of them, but he has only ever been gentle with me. He has never shown me his angry side or made me afraid of him. I”m not entirely sure how he truly feels about me, but I want to tell him how I feel, that I”m pregnant and that I want to stay with him, no matter when he becomes the don. I just want him and the little bean in my belly.
Suddenly, the front door slams shut downstairs, jolting me out of the quiet conversation I”ve been having with myself, rehearsing how I”m going to tell Bash the news. Then the bedroom door swings open, and the light from the hall stings my eyes until they adjust. A very unreadable Sebastiano stands in the doorway.
”What are you doing up here?” he asks.
Quickly, I slide the sonogram images into my back pocket, hiding the evidence. I decide to start with how I feel before dropping the bombshell about the baby.
”Just relaxing, like you told me to do,” I reply, mustering up a casual tone. It”s a lie, of course. Today has been anything but relaxing, but I don”t want to raise any red flags just yet.
”I like it when you do as you”re told,” Sebastiano murmurs, closing the distance between us.
When he comes closer, my senses seem to go out the window, leaving me breathless and dizzy. Before I can even process what”s happening, he flicks on the light and lifts me effortlessly from my seat, pulling me onto his lap.
Sebastiano”s lips take mine in a fervent kiss that steals my breath away. When he finally releases me to catch my breath, his lips pepper kisses down my neck, igniting a pleasure that takes over my senses. Before I am lost in the intoxicating feel of his touch and forget about what I need to tell him, I decide to rip the band-aid off now before I end up naked.
”Sebastiano,” I begin.
Heat rushes to my cheeks, and I struggle to find the right words. He stops his assault on my neck and locks eyes with me. A bizarre calmness washes over me, turning my jumbled thoughts into a semi-coherent speech.
My words tumble out of my mouth like word vomit. With every word that follows, I lay bare my feelings, showing all my cards to the man who holds my heart in his hands.
Finally, mustering up the courage to spill the beans about the pregnancy, pulling out the sonogram picture hidden in my back pocket like a magician revealing a rabbit from a hat.
He takes the picture from my hand, his expression contorting into confusion mixed with disbelief as he closely examines the image. The silence that follows puts me in a choke hold. I had expected shock or maybe even anger, but not his silence.
”Please say something,” I plead, sliding off his lap, unable to bear the tension growing between us.
”Pregnant?” he finally spits out, his voice dripping with disdain. His words land on me like a series of blows, each one knocking the breath out of me. ”How could you let this happen?” he demands. With each syllable, I feel the weight of his disappointment and anger crashing down on me, leaving me raw and exposed. ”Did you trick me into knocking you up? Thinking it would make me keep you around?” he accuses. Each angry word he says feels like he’s blaming me, accusing me of some sort of betrayal.
”N-no, I would never trick you,” I stammer, tears welling up at the corners of my eyes. His words feel like a knife to my heart, slicing through me. ”Sebastiano, I didn”t plan for this,” I protest, my voice trembling with emotion. ”It just... happened.”
”How does it ”just happen?”” he says in disbelief, then grabs my hands, his grip tight but not painful. His eyes flicker with an emotion I”ve never seen before, sending a chill down my spine. ”You said you were on the pill?” he continues. ”This changes everything.” With a disgusted expression, he looks down at my hands and releases me, leaving me feeling a surge of panic bubbling inside me.
”I know it”s not the best timing, especially with everything going on, but I couldn”t keep it from you,” I rush to explain, desperation clear in my words as I plead for him to understand.
”You know I don”t want kids, not with anyone and especially not with you,” he retorts coldly.
My jaw clenches tightly, trying to hold the flood of emotions threatening to spill out. “But I thought––”
He cuts me off before I can finish. “You thought what? That I love you, that I wasn’t going to get rid of you the second I got my title? You’re making shit up to fit the fairy tales you read.” And before I can say anything else, he backs away from me, his steps heavy with anger. I watch him walk away, the weight of his rejection sitting heavily on my shoulders, and I know that everything has changed between us.
In the quiet of the room, his words hit me hard, stirring up a mess of feelings. But I can”t just sit here and let it all fester. I”ve got to talk to him, figure things out, maybe even fix what”s broken or leave if it can”t be fixed.
”I won”t ever let anyone hurt you,” I murmur. I gently pat my bump-less belly, reassuring the tiny life growing within me. ”I won”t let you grow up with someone who doesn”t want you. I”ve been there, and I won”t let history repeat itself.”
Women raise children on their own all the time. If they can do it, so can I, I repeat to myself as I walk down the hall.
I make a conscious effort to push aside the sting of his words, the closer I get to his office. Despite the hurt, I refuse to lose hope. There”s still a chance we can sit down and work through this and find a way to move forward together.
I hesitate at the partially open door, not wanting to intrude on his call. Peeking through the crack, I wait for him to finish his conversation.
Suddenly, his booming voice sends a shiver down my spine. ”I don’t fucking want it! Get rid of it,” he commands.
The sound of his phone crashing against the wall echoes in my ears, leaving me stuck in place. His words pierce through me, and a rush of panic washes over me. I feel tears welling up, but I refuse to let them fall. He”s made his decision, and I won”t give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
I bolt for the door, my heart racing with fear at the realization that the man I thought I knew, may not be who I thought he was at all.
It”s a harsh truth. But I won”t stick around for him to hurt me or our baby.
Running to the garage, I throw open the box containing all of his car keys. My hand grabs a pair without much thought, and I press the fob, watching for the lights to confirm my choice. My mind whirls with chaotic thoughts as I climb into the car, start the car and drive aimlessly away from this place––the road stretching endlessly ahead.
Eventually, I find myself at a place from my past, the familiar wrought iron gates looming before me like a prison––a destination I hadn”t planned on visiting, yet here I am.