8. Brielle
Chapter eight
Brielle
“ C ongratulations!” all my friends and family yelled.
I stood with tears streaming down my face. My sister’s proposal went perfectly. I usually sucked at keeping secrets, but I was really proud of myself for keeping this one. Lincoln, Callie, and I planned it without any hiccups. She was completely surprised.
“Bean, how did you and Cal keep this from me? You guys suck at secrets almost as much as I do.”
I laughed and hugged my big sister harder than I think I ever had. “What fun would ruining the surprise be? I had to make sure it was perfect for you.”
“God, what would I do without you?”
“You will never have to find out. You’re stuck with me.”
We both laughed when Link joined in on the hug. “And both of you are stuck with me.”
I rolled my eyes jokingly. “Yeah, unfortunately.”
“Hey, I'm a catch,” Link joked. “Speaking of a catch, where is your guy today?”
“He is out of town visiting his family for the next few days.”
“Darn, we were looking forward to getting to know him.”
I nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable. It had been months, and we had been on a few dates, but Dax and I still hadn’t even had an honest conversation about what we are. I had been telling people he was my boyfriend because that's what it felt like…I think.
We all made our way inside Callie’s house to relax from all the proposal excitement, plus it was getting way too cold outside. Aubrey, Callie, and I immediately started discussing the wedding colors, theme, and everything else we could think of.
Callie and Aubrey were talking about dresses, and that’s when I tuned out. I didn’t love the idea of wearing a dress, but I’d wear whatever she wanted.
Nick was talking to Elijah, and it caught my eye because Elijah looked upset, sadder than usual. Aubrey must have noticed my lack of attention to the conversation, because she turned toward me and grabbed my hand.
“Thank you for this.”
I squeezed her hand back and smiled. “I didn’t do anything. I was just here for the ride.”
Aubrey looked down at my hand and kissed my finger over my semicolon tattoo. “I am glad you are here. I couldn’t go through this without you.”
I hugged her tightly around her neck. “Me too.”
Nick put his hand out to Callie and slowly pulled her toward the hallway and into their bedroom. I wasn’t sure how long they would be there, so I got up and went over to talk to Mr. Rockstar.
“Hey, you.”
I leaned onto the counter next to him, leaving a good amount of room between us. He looked at me, and his mood seemed to lighten a little, but he remained silent.
“You okay? You look sad,” I stated.
His sly smile fell into place like he was putting on a mask.
“Aww, are you worried about little old me?”
I rolled my eyes. “I guess not. Forget I even asked.”
I walked away when he reached for my wrist, but he pulled away and thought better of it.
I wasn’t sure how much he knew about my past, but Aubrey must have told him something because the first time we met, he was all “Mr. I’m going to get in your pants” and was trying to be all touchy-feely.
Every time since then, he has been a little more cautious.
“Don’t be like that. I was only kidding. ”
I leaned back against the counter where I had been standing before. “So was I,” I smirked. “Now, are you going to tell me what is wrong?”
“Nah, I don’t really feel like talking about it here.” He sipped his beer, finishing the bottle. He immediately reached for the whiskey bottle on the counter behind me and poured himself a glass.
“Hmm, well, if you want to talk about it at Aubrey’s tomorrow, I’ll be there.”
He looked over at me with curious eyes. “Do I scare you or something, Brielle?”
I scoffed in mock annoyance. “Scare me? You are the least scary person I know. Well, maybe besides Nick.” I smiled.
“Hey, I heard that,” Nick said from the hallway. He and Callie walked back into the room, full of smiles.
Elijah laughed. “You’re feisty today.”
“Nah, not just today. That’s just me lately.” I bumped his shoulder with mine. “Things are looking up, Mr. Rockstar.”
He gave me an approving grin. “I like it.”
Elijah took the last sip of his drink and immediately filled it again.
“Are you sure you need another one?” I asked. I honestly had no right to ask, but something was clearly off with him.
“I’ll ask again, are you worried about me, Briebaby?” He smiled.
“Yes, actually.” His smile fell. I don’t think he was expecting such an honest response. “I was serious with what I said before. I will be at Aubrey’s if you need someone to talk to. I know you are staying there tonight.”
He seemed to be fighting internally with a thought. Then his mask appeared again, and he moved a few inches closer. “Briebaby, if you want to be alone with me, all you have to do is ask.”
I rolled my eyes. I thought I was actually going to get him to open up a little. “Never mind.”
I tried to walk away, but this time he grabbed my wrist. I turned toward him and his mask was gone once again. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I do that.”
“Do what?”
He ignored the question. “Will you come with me out back for a second?”
My brain said no, but when I opened my mouth, “Sure” came out instead.
He gestured outside, and I went first. Once the door shut, he pulled me toward him a little, still holding onto my wrist. He looked to the ground and mumbled, “I put on this facade when people try to help me. I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine. ”
He finished talking and looked me directly in the eyes now. I didn’t know if I ever realized just how deep brown his eyes were before. They were deep brown with very thin gold striations through them, kind of like mine.
I don’t know what came over me, but I pushed the hair away from his eye, and my fingers brushed across his temple. His eyes closed, and it almost looked like he was in pain. I quickly pulled my hand away.
“Sorry, I don’t know what that was. I shouldn’t have touched you without your consent. That was inappropriate.”
He pulled my hand toward him and smiled. He placed my palm on his cheek. His face was covered in a light spattering of rough stubble. “You Briebaby, are probably the only person in this world who has my full consent to touch me anywhere you want.”
That admission should have scared me, but it didn’t.
“Why me?” I asked. He smirked and twisted my hand around, showing me my own tattoo, but didn’t say anything. I looked back up at him and whispered, “What?”
“When did you get this?” He grazed his finger over my tattoo, admiring it.
“Why?” I asked hesitantly.
He shrugged with a comforting smile. “Humor me.”
I thought about how honest I wanted to be for a few seconds. Again, my brain was telling me to be vague, but my mouth word vomited all the information out while I was staring into his eyes.
“I got it when I was eighteen after I decided I didn’t want to be on this earth anymore.
My attempt failed, obviously. At the time, my therapy wasn’t working.
I was alone, and I didn’t see another way out of the pain.
” I looked at the tattoo and then back to his face.
“I was raped when I was sixteen at a party. That is why I don’t drink, smoke, or partake in anything that can impair my judgment.
Honestly, I don’t really do anything except work and go to school.
The tattoo is a semi-colon. It means I could have ended the sentence, but I didn’t. ”
He moved his hand, and he let go of mine. He laced his finger with mine like we were doing a pinky promise. I looked down and saw he had the same tattoo, also on his pinky.
He looked me in the eye. “I know.”
Elijah
I stood there holding Brielle’s pinky in mine.
There was so much I wanted to share with her, but I knew it would scare her away.
It surprised me that she was so open and vulnerable with me.
It was even more surprising that I considered being open with her.
I barely knew her. We had only talked a few times here and there since we met.
I knew it was so fucking weird, but Brie made me feel something I hadn’t felt before.
I didn’t know exactly what the feeling was, but I knew I hadn’t felt as good as I did in her presence in a long time.
The only way I could explain it was that she made me feel like I was worth it, almost like she saw my potential even though there couldn’t possibly be an ounce of it inside me.
“Why do you have yours?”
Her voice took me out of my thoughts. I smiled at her. “That’s a story for another day.” I let her hand go, and she nodded, telling me she wouldn’t push the subject further. “Thanks for talking to me, though,” I added.
She stepped back toward the back door of the house. “I didn’t say anything really. I just talked about myself.” She laughed. “You were supposed to share what was up with you.”
“Do you feel better though?” I asked.
Her thin lips turned up into a small smile. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Good, glad I could help,” I said proudly.
“Wasn’t I supposed to be helping you though?”
“You did.”
She looked confused. “How so?”
“You made me realize maybe I’m not as alone as I feel most of the time.”
She gripped my forearm. “Eli, you are never alone. I hope you know that. You have so many people around you who care about you.”
“What about you?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
I was asking if she cared, but that suddenly seemed too intimate.
“Do you realize how many people you have? Do you realize how important you are to those people there?” I asked.
“I do.”
“Good. Because you are important.”
She squeezed my arm. “So are you, Eli.”
I nodded, not sure where to go from here.
“Come on, let's go inside, Old Man.”
Before entering the living room and kitchen where everyone else was, I pulled her back and whispered.
“Don’t share our conversation with anyone, okay?”