18. Brielle
Chapter eighteen
Brielle
B efore going to Aubrey’s after the event, I stopped by my dorm to gather more clothes. Natoshia stopped by to give me the book, so I grabbed my little silver vibrator bullet as well. Tonight was the perfect night to let off some steam while reading it.
I still didn’t exactly know what I was doing when it came to getting myself off, but I tried my best, and most of the time, I eventually got there.
As I laid down, I took out the book to read and decompress. A few pages in, I grabbed my bullet, flipped it to ON, and pressed it directly to my clit. Why is it so hot when the MMC asks “who hurt you?”? It turns me on every time I read it.
A breathless whimper escaped my mouth as I started rotating it around in circles. My head fell back against the headboard, and my eyes rolled back as I began bucking against my hand.
My sister's voice came barreling up from downstairs. “Bean, I need you,” she yelled
“Shit,” I whispered. “Be right there,” I yelled down to her.
I threw the bullet onto the bed and ran to wash my hands and check myself in the mirror.
When I went downstairs, she was sitting on the floor with a bunch of magazines spread out all around her. She had a pair of glasses resting on the top of her head.
“You wear glasses now?” I said jokingly.
“Only at night when I'm trying to read. I have tired eyes.”
I sat down on the floor next to her. “Okay, old lady, what's up?”
She laughed. “Bitch, I need help picking out flowers and place settings.”
“Ooo, fancy. I didn’t realize you were doing all this.”
“I wasn’t, but Callie gave me the choices and told me what she likes, and now I get the final say.”
“Dang, she works fast,” I laughed.
Aubrey laughed, looking up at me, then she paused. “You okay?”
I looked behind me, thinking she was talking to someone else. “Me? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?”
“You are sweaty. And your face is a little red. Are you sick?”
She placed the back of her hand across my forehead to check my temperature.
I swatted her hand away. “I am fine. I was just under my blanket when you called out for me. That room is warm.”
She gave me a knowing look. “Sure it is.”
I smirked. “Shut up and pick your girly flowers.”
We spent about an hour going over every possible option. We even called Callie a few times to run things by her. Aubrey finally chose to go with light pink and coral flowers and stark white place settings with light silver details.
“Ya know, you don’t have to include me in on all of this if you don’t want to. This is your day. I mean, I'm grateful, but don’t feel like you have to.”
She gave me a sad look. “I want you to be involved. You are my maid of honor. I want you with me for all of it.”
“Okay. I just wanted you to know. I'm okay if you don’t want to involve me in it all. I understand. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t because you felt bad for me. I know I'll never get married.”
She gripped my hand. “Don’t say that. You will find someone perfect one day. I did.”
I smiled. “I’ll never be that lucky. I am too fucked up for someone to want me forever.”
A throat cleared behind me. “What did I tell you about talking shit about my friend?”
I turned, and Elijah and Lincoln were walking through the door with their arms full of groceries. I didn’t even know they weren’t here; I had just assumed they were upstairs bullshitting.
I shrugged as he passed me. “What? It's true. I am a scrawny twenty-two-year-old who is basically a virgin. I haven’t had a boyfriend in six years. I can’t even touch myself properly, let alone let a man touch me sexually.”
Did I really just say that? What is wrong with me? This pent-up energy from not finishing must be going to my stupid head.
I looked over at Aubrey, and she just sat there, shocked. I glanced at Link and Elijah, who were both staring at me with the same baffled expression. I started to talk, but Aubrey cut me off. “I…well…you…yeah, I don’t know what to say to that.” Aubrey stuttered.
“And that is my cue to be anywhere but here,” Lincoln added as he walked to the kitchen.
The heat from my embarrassment traveled up my neck and warmed my cheeks. I stood up to move away from my sister and the guys. “Jesus, I thought we were all adults here. God forbid we talk about sex.”
“Brielle,” Aubrey rose after me. She led me down the hallway and stopped me right before getting to the half bath.
She leaned me against the wall and put her hands on my upper arms. She whispered, “It just surprised me, that’s all.
I’ve never heard you talk like that. I had no idea you were trying to…
ya know. Last I knew, you didn’t like anything having to do with down there. ”
“That was years ago, Aubs. I don’t really talk about it with anyone except Amani.”
She stepped closer, letting her hands fall away. “Why? You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I don’t know. I didn’t think you actually cared that your little sister couldn’t get herself off properly.”
Lincoln choked on whatever he was drinking and started muttering, “I shouldn’t be hearing this.”
Elijah laughed. “You good, dude?”
“I’m fine. I just feel dirty hearing about my, for all intents and purposes, sister and her sex life.”
“Dude, grow up.”
I gave Aubrey a stern look and pulled her into the half bath so we could no longer be heard from the hallway.
Aubrey looked at me with regret. “I forgot how much the sound carries in this hallway, sorry. Bean, we can talk about anything you want. I am always here for you. Got that? I don’t care how weird or embarrassing you think it is; I’m your girl, okay?”
I smiled and pulled her into a hug. “Love you,” she said, holding me tight. I lowered my voice to whisper, “I am going to go upstairs now because I am beyond embarrassed.”
“You started it.” She laughed. “Just know you have nothing to be ashamed of. You just really caught me off guard.”
I began to walk away but she stopped me, again. “Oh, by the way, Link and I are going out for a late dinner with August and Liza. We’ll be back later.”
Elijah chimed in. “I am making some pasta if you want some, Brie.”
I smiled and nodded, then walked up the stairs.
As I reached the top, I heard footsteps coming up behind me. “Brielle, wait up,” Elijah called.
“I am okay, I just need to go relax and head to bed.” Before I shut the door all the way, his hand gripped the door.
“Can we talk? You wanted to talk, right?”
“Not about that,” I exclaimed. Pointing down the stairs.
Then, as if I wasn’t embarrassed enough, when I sat on the bed, my vibrator bullet bounced and fell to the floor.
It turned on, and began buzzing and traveling across the hardwood floor.
My eyes went wide, and all the blood drained from my body.
I stood frantically, searching for it. “Shit,” I muttered.
Eli leaned down and grabbed it, switching it to OFF. He looked at me with a tilted smirk and held it out to me.
I reached for it, but he pulled his hand up and over his head, so I couldn’t grab it. I tried going on my tip-toes, but he had over a foot on me in height, so it was no use.
“Elijah!” I said with a huff. “Give that to me. Now!” I looked down, not able to look him in the eye for another second.
He used his other hand to lift my chin with his finger and thumb like they did in all my romance books. My insides melted when his eyes met mine. “Why was this on the bed, MP?”
“Eli, just give it to me.”
He let my face go and moved into the room and shut the door to lean on it. He kept his arm firmly in the air, his hand over his head. “Hold on now.” He smiled and bit his lip. It was the sexiest thing I think I had ever seen him do. “Why was this on?”
I scoffed. “I don’t know. It must have been on the bed and just turned on when it hit the ground. Amani probably put it in my bag as a joke.”
He looked at me knowingly and stared at me. “You are a horrible liar, Masterpiece,” he said with a wink.
I huffed in annoyance. I pretended to walk away so he would lower his arm, which he did slightly. I jumped up onto him to gain some height.
What the fuck was I thinking ?
Of course, he caught me. He now had one hand gripping my ass and the other holding me around my middle with my toy still in his hand.
He swallowed hard, but tried to hide it with a grin. “If you wanted to get close to me, all you had to do was ask,” he whispered.
I placed my hands on his chest and calmed my voice. “Can I have that back, please?”
His playful demeanor came back over his face. He nudged his head toward the bed. “Don’t let me stop you.”
I slapped his chest. “Very funny. I am not doing that while you’re here.”
He adjusted his hands as I gripped his neck so I wouldn’t fall. He looked at me seriously. “I would never let you fall.”
I didn’t respond. I just quietly stared at his beautiful face.
He can't be serious…right?
I grabbed the toy and signaled him to let me down, and he did so immediately. He smiled and leaned back on the door behind him. “What did you want to talk about for the bachelor and bachelorette parties?”
I was grateful for the change of subject. I turned my back to him. “We can talk later. Go cook your food.”
I heard the front door shut and looked out the window to see Link and Aubrey getting into the car. “I am just going to edit some of the photos I took last night. I will be in here for the night, most likely.” I threw the bullet back onto the bed and he snatched it up again and put it in his pocket.
“Elijah cut the shit.” I bent down to grab my camera out of my bag.
He opened the door and spoke with his back to me. “Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. You can have your vibrator back after you eat with me.”
“I fucking hate you, you know that?” I smiled.
He smiled back and shut the door wordlessly.
Thirty minutes later, I finally gave in and went downstairs, but only because it smelled so fucking good.
“Hello, beautiful girl.” My cheeks heated. Elijah was sitting at the table with my plate, waiting for me. He got up to pull out my chair.
“Since when are you a gentleman?” I joked.
“I take offense to that. I am always a gentleman.”
“Sure ya are,” I joked. “You didn’t have to wait for me, ya know.”
“Oh, I didn’t.” He sat back in his seat with a chuckle. “I already had a plate full. This is my second.”
I laughed. “You are such a guy.”
The moment the pasta touched my tongue, I rolled my eyes in enjoyment and started speaking with my mouth full. “Oh my God, this is so fucking delicious.”
My eyes caught his. “If you make noises like that every time you eat, I will cook for you everyday, girl.”
“Fuck off.” We both laughed. “This is amazing. Where did you learn to cook?”
“My mom, before she left. Then Liza and Link taught me a few things, too. I think I probably would have gone on to culinary school if I wasn’t in the band. Cooking has always been a passion of mine.”
I sat up a little straighter. Although we’d had some in-depth conversations before, I didn’t really know many personal things about him, so his freely sharing feels good.
“That’s awesome. You are very good at it.”
“I am good at a lot of things.”
I didn’t miss the innuendo. I looked down at my plate and whispered, “Such a guy.”
We went over some of the details for the bachelor and bachelorette party as we ate, and we fell into a really comfortable conversation. I didn’t know if I had ever enjoyed spending time with someone the way I did Eli. Once we finished, I got up to grab both of our dishes, and he gripped my wrist.
“I got that, don’t worry. Go do your pictures, and I'll clean up.”
“Not a chance. You cooked; I clean.”
“You wash, I’ll dry?” he asked.
“Deal.”
When there were only a few dishes left, he leaned onto the counter and looked at me. “So, I told you what I wanted to be when I grew up. What about you? If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?”
I didn’t even have to think about it. “I want to own my own gallery and showcase new artists and all different art mediums. Of course, I will also continue to produce my own art. But my ultimate goal would be to use the funds from the gallery to open a nonprofit.”
“Wow, that’s fucking awesome. What kind of nonprofit?”
I hesitated. “I want to provide scholarships to help girls and women who are adjusting to life after assault and domestic violence.”
He grabbed a dish and looked down at it then back at me as he dried it. “I think that’s amazing, Brie. I can’t wait to attend your opening one day.”
I smiled, grabbing the last dish. “Can’t wait.”
“Welp, everything is clean. I am going to head to the shower and then call my dad.” He paused. “Are you good?”
I smiled at him. “Yeah, I'm good. I will probably edit, read a little, and then head to bed.
“Oh, what are you reading?”
My cheeks heated. “Oh, um, I can’t remember the name of it.”
“Sure.” He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. “See you in the morning.”
I looked up at him when I was still in his arms. “Why am I so comfortable with you?”
He looked surprised but covered it quickly. “I have that effect on people,” he joked.
I slapped his hard stomach. “I’m serious.
I’ve never gotten that weird feeling from you, with the exception of maybe the first time.
I have always been hesitant with guys. I mean, I am really different now than I used to be.
I did a lot of fucking healing, but I don’t know… you are just different somehow.”
He leaned in and crossed his arms. “I don’t know. Why am I so comfortable with you?”
“You are comfortable with everyone,” I rebutted.
He looked down at his feet and put his hands in his pockets. “Not like this, I'm not. I have told you things I haven’t even told Link.” He forced a smile.
“Bullshit. Like what?”
“Lincoln has no idea I want to be a chef. I mean, he knows that I know how to cook, obviously. Like I said, I cooked with him and Liza, but I have never said those words out loud before.”
“Really?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I feel like I can tell you anything and you won't judge me.”
“There is one thing you won’t tell me.”
“What's that?”
“You haven’t told me why you relapsed.”
He shifted a little, then looked back at me. “I just got some bad news about my dad. I just needed to not think about it.”
“Did it work?” I asked hesitantly.
He shook his head. I reached over and squeezed his hand. “You can tell me anything.”
He pulled me into a hug and spoke against my hair. “And I am forever grateful for you.”
We hugged in silence for a few more moments before he said goodnight and went to his room.
After editing some photos, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, unable to shut off my brain. I took off my shorts and turned onto my side to grab my book off the side table. The moment I opened it, I sat up straight. It was like a light bulb went off.
Elijah still has my vibrator.