33. Elijah
Chapter thirty-three
Elijah
“ I ’m sorry,” I whispered into Brielle’s hair. Her head was on my chest as her fingers rubbed my abs aimlessly. She moved her head to look up at me.
“Where were you?”
I expected her to act more angry at me than she was. I moved back and took my arm off of her so she could sit up. Even though she did just that, she didn’t let go of my hand.
I put my head back against the headboard so I didn’t have to look her in the eyes. “After I yelled at you outside, I left. I felt like such an asshole. I knew you wouldn’t want to see me for the rest of the night.” Her grip on my hand tightened. “Then I found a bar and sat there till last call.”
“I thought you were hurt.”
I looked down at her, but there was zero judgment on her face. “I texted Link to let him know. I didn’t think you would want to hear from me.”
She pulled my hand to her mouth. “I don’t care how mad we are at each other; I always want to know you are okay.”
I nodded wordlessly as I looked into her eyes. As I stared at her, I just knew. This girl is my forever.
A few seconds passed before she spoke again, “When did he die?”
My head fell back again. “Right before I came to see you, I got the call. Owen left right away.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“You guys needed me. Link needed me. He is the only person who has been there for me. I couldn’t leave him on the one damn day he needed me. Plus, I owe him.”
“What could you possibly owe him for that is more important than this?”
I looked over at her. “You.”
She smiled shyly and pulled my hand into hers again. “He would have understood.”
I smirked. “I know. But there isn’t anything I could have done today anyway.”
“Okay.”
I pulled her toward me for another kiss before we settled into bed.
“Do you need me to book us a flight for tomorrow?”
“Us?” I questioned. I looked down at her in surprise.
She looked at me quizzically. “Yeah. You, me, Aubs, and Link. Maybe even Nick and Callie.”
I sat up a little straighter. “Why would you all need to come?”
She sat up and moved away. “Are you for real?”
I nodded.
Her brows furrowed. “Because we love you. Your dad died. Why wouldn’t we be there for you?”
I stood up from the bed. “I can handle it on my own. I don’t want anyone else to have to deal with this.”
After a moment of staring at me, she rose up onto her knees and reached for me. “Come here.”
I stood in front of her.
“I know you can handle this on your own. I have no doubt about that.” She held my face to look at hers. “But you don’t have to. You are not alone anymore.”
I turned my face away and ran my fingers through my hair. I huffed. “What if I want to go alone?”
“Do you? You would rather go through the next,” she paused, “probably week, alone?”
“Yeah. I think I do,” I blurted.
She looked defeated. “Can we talk about this tomorrow when you aren’t drunk?”
I huffed. “There is nothing to talk about. I don’t need you guys to uproot your lives for the next week just ‘cause I lost someone. I will be fine.”
She turned and got comfortable in bed.
“Brielle, I’m sorry. I don’t want people feeling bad for me. I can handle it.”
She lay wordlessly with her back toward me. I got into bed when I realized she wasn’t going to answer.
Just as I was falling asleep, I felt her move, and she whispered against my back, “I know you don’t want any sympathy, but I love you. I am sorry your dad is gone. I would love to go with you. Can we please talk about it when we wake up?”
I turned toward her, pulling her up so I could see her face. “I am leaving at six. Owen already booked my flight. I won’t be gone long. I promise.”
She leaned in to kiss me. “I love you. Fly safe.”
A nagging feeling overtook me as she turned away for the last time. It felt like she was detaching from me, like a part of me was missing already.
“Are we okay?” I asked hesitantly.
She answered right away. “Yeah. Get some rest. Wake me up before you go so I can drive you.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I would love to.”
Brielle drifted off to sleep quickly. Me? Not one wink of sleep.
My phone buzzed in my hand as I was scrolling my email. I looked at the time, and it was already five-thirty.
I looked over to see her sleeping peacefully. Her mouth hung slightly open, with light snores coming out. They were so soothing that I hadn’t even noticed before looking at her.
I pushed a piece of hair hanging loose from her bun off her face. I contemplated waking her, but only for a second. Waking her would cause me more pain than I needed. I wrote a note instead.
I left the note on the table for Brie and sent a text to Lincoln.
Have fun on that honeymoon. I will see you when you come back in a few weeks. I had to head home for a bit. Love you, man. So fucking happy for you.
I looked back at my beautiful girl, and before closing the door, I whispered, “I love you, MP.”
The flight home was as smooth as it could’ve been. I had a few drinks to curb my hangover and tried to get a little sleep. When I landed, everyone had sent me a slew of angry texts, but I didn’t have the brain space to worry about them until after I talked to my mom and brother.
By the time I got to my mom’s house, they had figured out a lot already, and it hadn’t even been a whole day.
“I wrote a simple obituary. I wanted you to have some say, of course,” my mom said quietly.
I pulled my mom into me and kissed the top of her head. “I am sure it's fine, Mom.”
She looked up at me with unshed tears. “I am so sorry I haven’t been there for you in this life. I don’t want it to come to this for us. I want to make us—”
I kissed her head again. “Not now, Mom. But me too.” She gave me a hesitant smile and nodded.
The next few days passed in a complete blur. I met a ton of people I either had never met or didn’t remember meeting.
On the day of the funeral, I spent the morning pacing the back room of the funeral home with a glass of whiskey in my hand. I still hadn’t answered Brielle or my friends about anything other than a text I sent letting them know I landed okay.
Just as I threw back the last sip of whiskey, Owen came around the corner.
“You ready?”
“Not really. But I’ll be there in a second.”
“Need a hug?” he joked.
I smiled. “Fuck you, dude.”
“Is that a yes?” he started walking toward me, arms open.
I jokingly pushed him away as I walked out the door. As I turned the corner, I stopped in my tracks when I saw who was sitting in the front row.
Brielle.
She was sitting right next to my mom, holding her hand with small tears running down her cheeks.
When her eyes met mine, I was met with understanding. Not anger, not annoyance, just complete and utter love and understanding.
My mom stood as I approached. She leaned up to kiss my cheek and whispered in my ear. “You got a good one, baby. She’s a keeper.”
I nodded and smiled.
Putting my attention back on Brielle, I was speechless.
“Don’t be mad. We thought we should be here just in case,” she said quietly.
“We?”
She gestured to where the band members were standing. With them was Lincoln, Aubrey, Nick, and Callie. Liza and August were only a few steps away also.
“I…but…why?” I couldn’t get a formal sentence out.
Brielle placed her hand on my cheek. “Because we love you, and you needed us.”
I pulled her into me, resting my chin on the top of her head. “Do you know how much I love you?”
She murmured against my chest. “Just a little bit less than I love you.”
“Remember when your dad broke the table in the living room trying to get his briefcase off the ceiling?”
Everyone sitting in my mom’s living room laughed at her statement.
“How did it get up there?” Callie asked.
I sipped my drink with a smirk as my mom motioned toward me. “That little devil glued it there.”
I rested the glass on my knee and ran my finger around the rim–Drink number six, today. I saw Brielle catch the motion out of the corner of my eye. When I turned to her, she just smiled and grabbed my other hand to kiss it. “You okay, baby?”
I leaned into her. “I will be more okay when you are riding me later.”
“Elijah,” she whispered.
“What?” I grinned. “I am ready to spend some time with you.”
“You are incorrigible."
My mom realized we were chatting quietly and spoke up, “Are you two conspiring over something over there?”
She was joking, of course, but the alcohol in my system made my mouth speak before I could realize how inappropriate it was. “Nah, just ready to fuck her brains out.”
Everyone fell into an utter silence, and the surprised looks on their faces made me lean forward, trying to make excuses. “What? We’re all adults here, aren’t we?”
“Elijah,” Brielle’s voice came quietly. “That’s enough. That is private.”
When I looked at her, the look of comfort and love that she had before had turned to disappointment and embarrassment.
I lifted my glass to the center of the room and offered an apology.
“Sorry,” I said as I stood to leave the room.
A few others went back to their individual conversations, but I saw Aubrey comforting Brielle by touching her leg, and Link looked like he would follow me. I turned before he could get too close.
“I’m good, bro. Go have fun.”
“I am having fun. Just wanted to check in,” he said as he slapped my back lightly and guided me to the kitchen.
I opened the cabinet to grab more whiskey.
“Are you sure you need that and don’t want some water? Your mom made some iced tea if you want that.”
I looked over at him. “Link, my dad died. I don’t need another one, okay.” I turned back to the counter, opening the bottle.
I said that to make him uncomfortable and back off, but he didn’t.
Without any hesitation, he retorted, “Yeah, he did die, and if you keep drinking like this, you will too.”
I turned toward him slowly. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“Dude. If you keep this up, you are going to fucking die.” He stepped toward me. “Don’t do this to yourself. Just take a break. Have some water.”
“Get out!” I yelled.
“Elijah,” my mom called. “Everything okay?”
Link responded without even looking away from me. “We are good. Elijah was just getting some water.”
“Oh, good,” she answered.
I lowered my voice so I didn’t cause another scene. “How fucking dare you do this right now?”
“How dare you do this right now. Elijah, we are all here for you. You don’t need that shit. Come hang out with us. Without the drink.”
Instead of yelling again, I turned, poured more whiskey, and threw it back. I never felt the burn anymore; I was just so used to it. “Tell everyone thanks for coming, but I'm going home.”
“I will drive you.”
“No, fuck you.”
“Elijah,” he reached for my arm, and I pushed him back so hard he fell into the fridge.
“Elijah!” Aubrey yelled as she ran over to him. “What are you doing?” She helped Link up and looked him over.
Link’s face was a bright shade of red. I was one hundred percent sure it was from anger and not embarrassment.
Everyone else started coming in, and that just pissed me off even more. “I am leaving.”
“No, you aren’t,” Link strained to say.
“You are not my fucking dad.”
“Elijah, calm down. You are scaring people,” Aubrey said.
I looked around until I saw it. I saw the looks on everyone’s faces and honestly, I couldn’t care less what they all thought. Brielle was standing behind Nick in the corner, crying. Her eyes were pleading with me.
Aubrey turned back to Link. “I think your rib is broken.”
Terror flooded my body. I broke his rib? Maybe I really am becoming my dad.
“I don’t care about my ribs. Ah! Fuck, that hurts.” He settled into a chair at the table. “Someone needs to drive him home. He can't drive.”
Although I felt terrible, the anger of being told what to do was worse.
“The hell I can't. I am leaving. Have a great fucking flight home. Send me the hospital bill, and I’ll pay it.”
“Eli, please. Let me drive you.” Brielle’s sweet voice came over me. I looked down at her. As much as I didn’t want to, I knew what I needed to do.
“I am fine. You tried to fix me, but it’s over now. This is me. Take it or leave it.”
She looked like I slapped her. “What are you talking about?”
I ran my fingers through my hair, and as I looked back at her, Aubrey moved even closer to her sister.
“I tried to be better for you, but it didn’t work. I can't be better. This is me.”
“I don’t believe that for a second,” Brielle cried out angrily.
“Well, I guess that’s it, then. See ya later.”
My mom sat down on a chair and cried. I walked over to her and kissed her head. “Sorry. I will call you tomorrow.”
August stepped in front of me as I walked toward the door. “Son, let me drive you home. It’s on my way.”
I almost said yes, but I walked right by him without muttering another word.
“What do we do?” Brielle squealed frantically.
I didn’t hear their answer to her question. I slammed the front door, knowing I wouldn’t ever let another person I loved into this mess ever again.
I blasted music as I pulled onto the main road. My vision wasn't the best in that state, but I lived just a few minutes away.
Just as I took a right at the red light onto what I thought was my street, I knew I had fucked up.
I took the right onto the street before mine, which happened to be a one-way in the other direction.
A few pairs of lights came flying at me.
I tensed for impact, and my body thrashed on collision. I saw nothing but black.