35. Brielle
Chapter thirty-five
Brielle
“ U se the cane, dummy,” I called out.
I rushed over to Elijah as he stumbled to the bathroom. Even with four months of recovery, he was still pretty shaky at times. He ended up staying with his brother, Owen, for most of that time, so I could go home and work. I took weekend trips back and forth to see him every chance I could.
The band took an official break after Eli's accident while he healed. They took that time to write some new songs. Elijah never really talked about when he planned to return to touring, or if he even did. I couldn’t imagine him not going back.
I didn't know who he would be without the band and singing.
During the last few weeks of Eli’s recovery, my boss kindly allowed me time off, as it was our slowest period of the year. I stayed in Lincoln's old house, so Eli stayed with me instead of his apartment. It was kind of nice getting a preview of living together.
I plopped down on the couch and restarted the episode of Sweet Magnolias that I fell asleep watching the night before.
Eli called from the bathroom. “You aren’t watching that stupid small-town show, are you?”
“Nope,” I said with a smirk.
Once he came out and saw the television, he sat next to me and pulled me over toward him. “You little liar. I might have to punish you for that later.”
I pushed my body even closer to him until my lips brushed his. “Do tell.”
“You dirty little vixen.”
I pulled away quickly before he could get a better hold of me. “But first,” I tapped his thigh. “AA meeting. Do you need a ride?”
He looked a little nervous.
“What's wrong? Are you not going?”
“No, I'm going.”
Then what the fuck was the problem? Why was he looking at me like that?
“Okay. What is the weird look then?”
“My sponsor is picking me up.”
“Okay, I will ask again. What is the weird look for?”
Before he could answer, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to a beautiful blonde. “Can I help you?”
“Um, yeah. I am looking for E. I'm his ride.”
E? What the fuck?
I turned to give him a look, and he smiled shyly. I looked back at her. “Of course. Come on in. I'm Brielle. Elijah's girlfriend. I think he's almost ready.”
She stepped in, hesitantly. She had a weird scent to her; I didn’t think I had ever smelled it before. She put her hand out to me. “I’m Rhianon, but everyone calls me Ryan.”
I knew his sponsor's name was Ryan, but I assumed it was a guy, though I never asked. I didn’t want her or Elijah to see the shadow of doubt coursing through me. “Yes, I've heard a lot about you,” I lied.
I shut the door and walked back into the kitchen. “Can I get you anything while you wait? Water?”
She put up her hand. “Oh no, thanks. They have that for us. Plus, we're going out after the meeting for a late dinner with some people.”
A wave of irritation flooded through me, and my eyebrows rose in surprise. I looked over to Elijah, who was putting on his shoes. “Oh, I didn’t know that. That’s great.”
He came walking over with his cane in one hand and side hugged me with the other arm before kissing my head. “Sorry, forgot to tell you I would be home late.”
I looked up at him. “Not too late. We have to wake up early for brunch with everyone.”
He smiled. “I will try not to wake you.”
“Okay,” I whispered before kissing him softly. I took that to mean that he would be late anyway, despite what I said.
My confidence was waning fast, and I didn’t like the feeling of the pit in my stomach. Something was off about her; I just couldn’t place it.
“I love you, Brie,” he whispered.
I looked up at him with hopeful eyes. “I love you too, Eli.”
I heard a car door shut and looked up at the clock.
Five hours. He was gone for five hours.
I was a frantic mess the whole time he was gone. I was embarrassed to admit I even called his brother to ask about Ryan. He didn’t seem to think anything of her. He said she picked him up a few times, but nothing ever seemed out of place.
The door opened, and I turned toward the TV and curled my feet underneath me.
“Hey, baby. You’re still up?”
I turned to look at him. “Yeah, I couldn’t get comfortable. I figured I'd wait for you.”
He walked toward me, and I stood up from my spot on the couch. I leaned in to kiss him. He pulled away quickly. “Garlic breath. Hold on.” He reached into his pocket for a mint of some sort.
After sucking it for a moment, he said, “That’s better.” He leaned in for a kiss.
He smelled like her.
I didn’t want to accuse him of anything that I was almost positive he wasn’t doing, so I started by asking about his dinner. “Are you okay? How was your dinner?”
He put his wallet and house keys on the table. “Yeah, dinner was great. Sorry, it ran long.”
I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the table, close to where he was. “Ryan is nice. How long has she been sober?”
He gave me that same nervous look from earlier. “I think about two years.”
“You think?” I asked sarcastically.
He gave me a weird look. “What’s with the third degree?”
I shrugged and began walking to the bedroom. “No third degree. Just think that would be something you would know for sure about your ‘sobriety sponsor’.”
“I don’t know everything about her.”
I stopped short and turned toward him. “Is she even really your damn sponsor?”
Fuck. I didn’t mean to say it like that.
“What the fuck does that mean?” He asked. “What? You think I'm lying and cheating on you?”
The word vomit came out once again, “I don’t know. Are you?”
“No. I am not cheating on you, Brielle. I would never fucking do that,” he said with all seriousness.
“Okay,” I whispered.
He walked toward me and grasped my face on both sides. “I would never fucking cheat on you. Never,” he repeated.
I put my hands on top of his. “I believe you.”
“You have been my everything this entire time, and you always will be.”
“Then what is going on? Because that interaction we all had was weird. You got all squirely. Something is off.”
He kissed me before letting my face go. “There is nothing romantic between her and me. I swear to you and everything else I love, I have never, not once, thought of her like that, nor has she made a pass at me. I think I was just nervous that you guys were meeting.”
“You smell like her.”
I could see the nervousness flit over his face again, but it was fleeting.
He pulled the breath mints out of his pockets. “We eat the same mints. It helps us when we want alcohol. She turned me onto them.”
That seemed like a reasonable enough answer. I apologized and let it go. Maybe some sleep would help my brain clear a little. I changed the subject so we could move on.
“I love you. I was just worried. You are doing so well. Your walking is almost back to normal, your AA meetings are going great, and you’ll get your license back soon.
I just don’t want anything to fuck that up.
” I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the bed.
“Let’s get some sleep. We really do need to be up early for Liza's brunch.
I told her we would both help her set it up.
“But I don’t wanna,” he joked.
I smirked. “There will be a very good blowjob in it for you if you are a good boy.”
He pulled me into him, biting his lip with a sexy grin. “Can I collect that reward early?”
I booped his nose. “I don’t think so,” I joked.
He lifted me and my legs went around his waist. He dragged my center over his hard length.
He pulled my lips into a searing kiss. “Oh, I think so.”
A few hours later I woke to a sound coming from the kitchen. I put my arm out to reach for Elijah. He wasn’t there. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and slid my feet into my slippers.
It was still dark out, so I knew it was still early. I took the few steps it took to get to the kitchen. My blood went cold the moment I turned the corner.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Elijah
“Fuck!”
My glass was more than halfway up to my mouth as Brielle stood there staring at me.
I was caught. I had wanted to get a drink in before she woke up.
I started drinking again about a month ago.
It started with having a drink here and there when I was having a rough day and nobody was around to talk to.
I really did try, and AA worked at first. I tried to do it for her and Link. They were the ones who wanted this. Not me. I don’t like being sober.
Brielle’s eyes glossed over, and she whispered, “You’re drinking?”
Although embarrassment briefly flooded me, I looked down at the glass and drank the last sip. I reached for the mints that were on the table with my wallet and popped one into my mouth.
I kept my eyes looking at the floor like a puppy who was being scolded.
She sniffed. “Are you going to fucking say anything?”
I leaned onto the counter and crossed my legs in front of me before looking at her. “I don’t really know what to say.”
Anger and hurt were clearly visible on her face. Her cheeks were red, and tears were falling. She crossed her arms uncomfortably as her voice came out choked. “When?”
“About a month ago.”
She knelt down, and her face went into her hands as she sobbed. “Why? Why would you do this?”
I hobbled over and got down on the floor with her. I touched her arm. “Brie, I'm okay.”
She flung my hand away and stood. “Don’t you fucking touch me.”
“Come on, babe. Don’t do this. It isn’t a big deal. I have control of it. You didn’t even know. That’s how much control I have on it.”
I knew the moment she looked at me that it was the wrong thing to say. She stood, so I followed.
“It is a big deal, Elijah.” She looked at the clock. “Four in the fucking morning, and you are up sneaking a drink or hell, I don’t know how many drinks, just so I didn’t see you…And you think YOU have control over this?”
“I didn’t want this to happen.” I gestured between us. I took a step toward her.
“Don’t,” she retorted as she took another step back.
“Baby. Now you know. Now I don’t have to hide it.”
She gave me a surprised look. Then she seemed to remember something. “Did you lie about where you were tonight?”
“No.” I really didn’t. “I went to AA. I had to. I needed that paper signed to get my license back. Then we went to dinner with a few people.” She looked at me with so much anger, but there was longing hidden in there.
She almost looked hopeful. But I knew this had to be the end of my lies.
“Ryan and I just went for drinks after that.”
She huffed. “I fucking knew it. So much for being sober for two years. So she isn’t your sponsor?”
I shook my head. I don’t actually have one at the moment.
“I…I can't fucking believe you. I need to go.”
She stormed over to the bedroom, grabbed her bag, and started throwing things in it.
“Go where?” I walked after her.
“Anywhere but here. I will go stay in the guest room inside the main house.”
“Brielle, stop.” I went up behind her to turn her around.
“Get the fuck off me,” she screamed.
“Shit, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to come behind you like that. Just please listen.”
She looked up at me. “I trusted you.”
“It isn’t a big deal. I am handling it, I promise.”
I had never seen this type of hurt on someone's face before, and I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Elijah. I have watched you struggle for how long now? This isn’t going to get better unless you make the effort to make it so.”
“That isn’t true, Brie. I can do this.”
“I waited in that fucking hospital room, not knowing if you were going to fucking live, Elijah.”
“I'm sorry, Brie .”
“No. If you were sorry and wanted to be better, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. What happens when you go back on tour, and you are around alcohol all the time?”
I tried to speak, but she continued before I could.
“God, how could I be so stupid? Why did I do this?”
“Do what?”
“Let you off the fucking hook so damn easily. We barely even talked about it after it happened. I was so scared to upset you and trigger you. I didn’t wanna make you think about it any more than you already were.”
“Brielle. I fucking got this. Please believe me.”
She gave me a disgusted look. “I will never believe anything you say again.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Come on, baby. Don’t say that.”
She turned away and continued packing her things into the bag. “I have to go. I can't talk about this when I'm this hurt and mad and… fuck I don’t even know what I feel.”
I’m losing her.
My eyes stung with tears. “Brielle,” I whispered. She froze but didn’t turn to look at me. “I love you. Please don’t go. We can talk and figure this out. Please?”
She put the last few things in the bag and faced me. “Can you or will you ever stop drinking?”
I didn’t understand why she couldn't see that I could control this. She didn’t even notice I was drinking again. I looked down for a moment and then back up at her. I had to be honest. “I don’t want to.”
She walked past me. “Then, no, we can't talk about this right now.” She grabbed the house keys off the table and put her hand on the doorknob. She turned to me for the last time. “I am so fucking mad at you. I can't believe you did this to me.”
“Brie, I—”
“I love you,” she blurted as she walked out the door toward the main house. I watched as she unlocked the door. The kitchen light was turned on and then off. A few seconds later, I saw the light in the guest room on the second floor turn on.
What the fuck am I doing?