5. Father of Darkness #2
“Not us, though!” Dad thunked my head with his fork before diving into some potato salad. “You’re just like your glorious papa!”
“Glorious, sure. Keep telling yourself that,” I giggled before falling silent.
Dad noticed my fall in tone and frowned behind his sandwich. “Something on your mind, kid? You seem really distant lately, really... distracted.”
“You could say that.” Was now really the time to bring up my conversation with Ambermourn to him?
What would he say if he realized I had been in contact with him again.
More, that I knew of such a heavily kept secret.
Then again, everything was a secret nowadays, but Dad had promised to stop keeping things from me, and as the next God of Death, I had the right to know about this apocalyptic nightmare he was capable of.
I chose my words carefully, trying to tread lightly on the subject.
“So, um... I wanted to ask you about something. It's kind of sensitive, to say the least, but I’m very worried about it, and we promised to be open with each other, so I figured we could discuss this freely.”
Dad munched for a moment before nodding once.
“Ok, yeah, sure. We did promise, after all. I mean, you’re about to get married; I can’t treat you like a little kid anymore.
” He stood to shovel through the fridge for more potato salad.
“How much can I keep hidden from you at this point?” he asked from inside the fridge.
I ground my teeth in worry. “I was doing some digging, after the Immortal Convocation, after I ran into someone at the event who told me something about you. Something about you and your familiars, about the chaos you could cause...” I tapped my fingers on the table methodically.
“The person warned me that, now that your powers are fully recharged, that you were really unstable, and they were worried this would cause you to lose control and start the apocalypse.”
I waited for his backlash with my chest so tight that I could barely force air through my lungs.
My sandwich quivered in my hands so violently that the chicken breast was spilling out of the sides, threatening to spill over the edge.
Mayonnaise seeped through and coated my hands, but I was oblivious to this.
Dad was still submerged in the fridge, frozen by what I said, and so still that I was worried I'd really crossed the line this time.
His body was in a perfect 90-degree angle, his hand settled on the potato salad container.
Finally, he pulled the salad out and cracked the top, licking stray mayonnaise off his fingertip.
“So, you spoke to Ambermourn, did you?” he accused, scooping out the salad and plopping it onto his plate casually.
I stammered wildly. “Um, well, not nec-... I mean...!”
He sighed deeply and fell into his seat, his eyes distant as he processed my words.
“Ambermourn has always feared my familiars, feared the reality of what they are.
He's convinced I'm going to destroy the world, that I'm some unstable being capable of mass destruction, a ticking time bomb. Then again, if anyone should understand that feeling, it would be you,” he pointed out casually.
I bit my lip against his comment. “I suppose you’re right.”
“When did you speak to him, for real this time. I know you didn't discuss all of this at the Convocation.” He raised his eyebrows to indicate he had caught my lie.
I sunk in my seat in shame, playing with the ice in my cup.
“I... I ran into him the other night, when I went to Earth.
He told me about a spell in the Liber Silentium, warned me about people who are looking to use the spell against us.
He talked like you were going to go off the deep end with the slightest bit of push, and that...
that scares me, a lot. Not because I'm scared of your powers, but because I'm scared I won’t be able to pull you back to us, with the way he talked...?” I admitted with pain deep in my voice.
Dad flicked his wary eyes up to me before gently combing hair behind my ear.
“Hey, now, don’t think like that. It's... well, it’s true, that if that spell were spoken we’d be in some deep shit, but I haven’t let anyone use that against me before?
I have always been extremely careful with my powers and my familiars, hence why I don’t overextend them.
I'm fully aware of the harm they can cause, and I would never subject the world to that unjustly.”
“Ambermourn said you gave your soul to them, that you became like them doing so. Does that mean... does that mean you’re part demon?” I breathed cautiously.
Dad sighed through his nose again. “In a way, I suppose I am and am not. I told you, my familiars aren’t really demons, more, archaic beings, but they are beings bound by Gehenna’s law.
They do the bidding of dark forces and were made by Endymion as a failsafe if Earth should need one.
I still own a good portion of my soul, the part I would need to make it as a Shadow Walker should anything ever happen to me, but that’s all I could ever become.
I either be a Shadow Walker or disappear into the depths of Gehenna, sadly. ”
I abruptly grabbed his arm and tugged on it hard, scaring him half to death. “What do you mean? That, that if... if you die, you can’t get in Caelum?”
“No, I can’t,” he softly responded.
I huffed on anxious breaths. “Dad... how could you do this to yourself? How could you give up Caelum, give up your existence potentially?”
He smiled gently for me. “Because at the time, my familiars were wreaking havoc on the planet, and someone had to do something to stop them. Trust me, if they have it their way, I would become a being much like them if I died, so that the Four Horsemen continue to exist. They own part of me, so they could make that happen, but they don’t own the part that gives me other options...
” He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly, trying to subdue my anxiety, but that wasn’t really working.
“I didn’t have as much to think about, to live for, as I did when we first made the contract, so I didn’t consider the downsides.
I can’t really go back on my word now, so I have to deal with the consequences.
” He perked up abruptly. “On the bright side, I don’t plan on kicking the bucket anytime soon, so it’s not something we really have to worry about.
” He blinked in surprise when tears swept down my cheeks. “Nick, why are you crying?”
“Because... if something ever happened to you, I-... I-... If I can’t save you, you'll be gone forever. I can’t ever live without you, I just can't...!” I sobbed brokenly.
He tsked and cuddled me even closer, rubbing my back in small circles as he spoke soothingly, “I know it seems scary, but it would take a lot to kill me...?”
“Says the one convinced I'm going to kill you when we fight!” I wheezed.
Dad ground his teeth. He knew I had backed him into a corner, a corner he couldn’t weasel out of so easily, a corner that was soon to become our reality.
“I don’t...?” I shot him a dirty look before he could finish his sentence, that made him snap his mouth closed momentarily.
“I, truly, think you can control yourself better than everyone else thinks. You won’t let anything happen to me, right? ”
“Not if I can help it,” I rubbed my nose on my sleeve, “but what if I can’t? What if I go too far, lose myself to my own chaos, and I hurt you beyond repair? I won’t ever forgive myself!” I croaked out before becoming hysterical again.
Dad shook his head rapidly. “You can’t think like that, Nick.
Everything always works out in the end, and I truly believe this will work itself out, too.
I have full faith in you and your ability to control yourself, even more so than ever after all that’s happened since you regained your Shadows.
Not to toot my own horn, but I can be pretty badass if I do say so myself!
” He puffed his chest out to prove his point.
I trembled in his arms like a leaf. “That’s what scares me, Dad. What if... what if our fight triggers the Four Horsemen?” I breathed, staring straight ahead as reality sunk in.
Dad swallowed nervously as he, too, began to consider what I had been fearing. “I... didn’t think to consider that, honestly...”
I brought a shaking hand up to clutch his shirt. “Dad... how worried should we be about this? About Ambermourn, about your powers? Do you think he’s after the Liber Silentium, so he can trigger this chain-reaction himself? Did he see this unchangeable reality before we did?”
He continued staring past me, his face contorting into unadulterated fear as he considered what I said. “Nick, I... I really don’t know this time. I mean, what does he have to gain by using the spell? We have nothing for him, nothing beyond bad blood...?”
My fear turned to anger. “He asked me about Pandora when we first met. It was the first thing he brought up. What would he want, know, about Pandora?”
Dad's eyes flooded until his iris was swallowed by a sea of pure black. “Did he, now?”
I sunk into his chest and squeezed him in a tight hug, to calm both him and me.
“That’s why I was digging up information on him, trying to find connections somewhere, somehow.
With Pandora at bay, we should only assume someone is going to try and break her free...
but why would Ambermourn want to do that? ”
“Maybe I should ask him myself,” Dad hissed.