10. As I Awake
Chapter ten
As I Awake
Nicodemus
Isadora and I sat at a table on the balcony of a quiet restaurant in Barcelona.
It overlooked the beautiful ocean, as she requested, which sparkled under the midday sun like crystal.
I perused the menu casually, kicking my leg over the other so I could rock it.
Isadora struggled to understand the Spanish menu, so I offered to order for the table, and after receiving our wine and paellas, I began our much-needed conversation.
“You know, I’ve wanted to have this discussion for a long time.
I’ve never had time with you alone, without your sister hanging over your head, so I’m glad you agreed to do this with me,” I attempted as I spooned rice on my plate.
She sipped her wine gently as she thought of a response. “I didn’t think you’d want to talk to us one on one, let alone think about hiring us for the Layer. We're a bit... how should I say... temperamental, to say the least.”
“Maybe with each other, but I don’t think that’s the case when you’re apart.
” I gulped my wine fast, as I needed alcohol to loosen me up.
I flagged a waiter and asked for another glass, choosing to sip this one instead of down it like the alcoholic I had become.
“You were quite different in your approach to the trial. I expected you to be a bit more-...”
“Like my sister?” she flatly retorted.
“I suppose so, yes.” I spread cheese on a crostini and took a polite bite, savoring the flavors of the cheese and sweet jam. “To be honest, I think you’re a much better fit than Odessa.”
“What? How?” she barked back.
“You showed restraint, control, and level-headedness. Were you timid, yes, but not unintentional. You focused your entirety on completing your goal without overindulging. Odessa was sloppy, choosing to feed and act erratic compared to controlling her natural instincts. I don’t need a demon who is only obsessed with consumption.
I need someone who sees that there is more to life than feeding. ”
Isadora shrunk under my compliment. She twisted the ends of her brunette hair around her purple nails, contemplating what I said before lifting her head.
“You don’t want an underconfident loser like me, either.
I’m not very enthusiastic. I kind of hide in Odessa’s shadow a lot.
She’s always been more charismatic, more eccentric, and I fade into the background. ”
“You remind me a lot of my fiancé,” I offered as I ate.
“You both have gentle mannerisms but still hold dignified statures. He tends to be on the quieter side himself, but he is commanding when he needs to be. He can be a ‘fade to the back’ person as well, but he still knows how to run his Realm. I think, if you were separated from Odessa, you’d really shine on your own.
It may take some time to grow your confidence, but you have the control already.
All you need is someone to push you to your full potential. ”
“Your fiancé?” she queried.
I pulled my phone loose and showed her my lock screen, which was of he and I lounging on the beach back in Italy.
“He’s kind of the reason your mom is dead.
He went after me when I died and was sent to Gehenna, and in the process, killed a lot of demons that were trying to keep my soul captive,” I weakly said.
I waited for the backlash, but surprisingly, Isadora only stared at the picture.
Her eyes focused so hard on Odysseus’s face that I was sure she was memorizing it to kill him.
Eventually, she let a small smile spread across her cheeks.
“What a shame, that you’re engaged. I was going to ask you out.
” We both shared a light laugh before she took her first bite of food.
“He’s very handsome, your fiancé. He must really love you, to go through all of that. ”
“He’s everything in the world to me and more...
” I sighed happily, hugging the phone to my chest. My hands fell, though.
“I sincerely feel awful for taking your mother from you. As evil as she was, she was a demon, so really, it is wrong to expect her to be pleasant. Not everyone is going to be like Evris.”
“That’s why I was so hesitant to take the job,” she replied as she cut some shrimp up into smaller pieces.
She tucked her hair behind her ear to keep it out of her food.
“I’m not like my mother or sister. I don’t have this ‘commanding presence’ you want in a ruler.
Even Evris holds her weight, regardless of how nice she can be.
Demons aren’t supposed to be nice or compassionate.
We run Layers, and those Layers are punishments for many of them.
I was born into this world, so by nature, I am meant to want to rule as my mother’s next-in-line, but that doesn’t mean I asked to be this way. ”
“Tell me about it,” I sniffed. My tone caught her attention. “If you had told me ten years ago that I’d be the God of Death, let alone the most powerful Elemental to ever exist, I’d laugh in your face. I didn’t exactly sign up for the job, but I guess it is what it is at this point.”
“How do you handle that kind of pressure? I mean, it must be immense. I don’t know how you’re not losing your mind.”
I settled into my seat, crossing one leg on the other and holding onto my ankle for support.
I sucked my teeth, watching planes fly overhead.
“I have moments where I cave to the anxiety, but mostly, I can keep it together. I’ve learned to live with it as best as I can.
I have people around me that I love that are my reason to fight, and to keep the universe whole. I let that be my fuel to push forward.”
“I wish I had something like that...” she sighed, falling slack into the back of the chair.
She rolled her lips loudly and traced the outline of the clouds above us.
“I don’t really have anything special to strive for.
I was always told that I had to prepare to take over for my mother should something ever happen to her, but I never expected it to.
Now that we’re here, I feel utterly lost without her.
I’ve been alive for thousands of years, and still, squabble like a child with my sister.
I’ve always let everyone make choices for me, but at the end of the day, what is it I exactly want? ”
“That’s a good question to ask.” I nudged her leg so she would look at me.
“Do you even really want the job? I mean, sincerely, do you want to rule the Layer? The responsibility is immense, and you’d be stuck down there a lot.
If you want to be free from this fate, Isadora, then let me free you from it. ”
Her smile turned lop-sided. “No, I do want it... I just don’t want it to be the only thing in my life.
I want someone to share my existence with, to have goals to strive for, to make waking up worth it, like you have.
I don’t think it’s fair to be utterly alone.
I may potentially rule a Layer, but that’s not all who I am.
Is it wrong of me, to want something a little more? ”
“Of course it isn’t. I don’t know what I would do without Odysseus, and I want nothing more than for you to find someone that means the same to you.
Standing in your sister’s shadow is doing nothing for you.
You deserve to be your own person, to have your own pleasures, and to not be drowned out by her. ”
“If only it were that simple...” she groaned.
I gingerly swirled the wine in my glass. “Being a ruler doesn’t have to be doom and gloom. You can still make connections and find joy in your work. It’s all a matter of looking at the bright side is all.”
Isadora winced when her phone rang. Its tone was stagnant, piercing, and the buzzing from the vibration shook the whole table.
She fingered for it and hit answer, but her expression was full of fear.
“H-Hello...? I’m out to lunch with a... friend.
” She cringed when the voice on the other end grew higher.
“I’m allowed to do things without you, Odessa!
I happen to have a social life, believe it or not...
! Well, I didn’t know I had to repo-... Fine, FINE!
” She hung up and slammed the phone down, her tongue slithering from her mouth.
It was a serpent’s tongue, long and forked at the end, and part of her slipping demonic form. “I need to leave.”
“I understand.” I slid her my business card, that had my personal number on it. “Look, if you ever need someone to talk to, give me a call. I'd be happy to get to know you more, and maybe even be a friend, a listening ear. Ok?” I kept my tone light, friendly, convincing.
She stared at the card in my palm for a beat before stuffing it into her bra. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for inviting me out to lunch. It was nice to see the ocean.”
“I’m glad to have had the company.”
She whisked away in the shadow of the umbrellas covering beachgoers, leaving me at the table with a grimace. Claude appeared to my right and took a seat, stealing a forkful of my forgotten meal. “This seems to get stickier and stickier, eh?”
“Maybe so. I wonder if Dad has any useful insight?”
“You should get back to Gehenna and find out. While you’re at it, pay the bill, and get a box. This paella is delicious!”
I laughed lightly and brushed his hand away, rolling my eyes. “You’re such a big help.”
Dad had his nose deep in his clipboard and was flipping through pages wildly when I entered the Inn.
His tongue was sticking halfway out, and he was oblivious to the world around him, including the souls and Reapers that giggled at him from around the corner.
Evris was dishing out some pastries she freshly made and spun on her ankle to welcome me with a loving kiss.
“Good afternoon, my adorable little God of Death. How was your lunch?”