Chapter Thirteen
AT DAWN, BELLIUS starts barking orders to break camp.
I hadn’t slept a wink, my mind rolling with the events of the night.
In less than thirty minutes the band is back on the road to Ionos, back through the forest. Olena joins me on scouting detail, bronze armor swapped out for simple leathers just as before.
Before I could even make a comment, she rolls her arm in defiance of her wound.
We don’t talk; our senses focused entirely on the forest around us. Birdsong echoes through the pines, the quiet crunch of critters scrounging in the underbrush, everything seems lively.
By nightfall, exhaustion overtakes me, the tension coiled inside of me finally, blissfully releasing as slumber wins over, feeling safe surrounded by my companions. Thankfully, Helia had ordered no training while we were in the forest.
The following days through the forest are the same; tension and anxiety devouring my focus and strength. When we finally make it through the forest, I’m not the only one with a weary smile.
On the first night of camp out of the forest, Helia gives the quartermaster permission for us to make a larger meal in celebration.
Without waiting for Andra or Bellius to give me my assignment, I start preparing the cooking fire and warming up the pot.
The quartermaster smiles broadly as they bring over ingredients along with Olena.
My cooking skills seem moderately better than the rest of the companions and, it’s something I can do; something purely mine.
A few chunks of cured meat, a block of hard cheese, more flatbread, and some butter. The quartermaster winks at me as they reach hand me a small pouch. Intrigued, I pry it open and cannot stop the joy from showing on my face. A mixture of spices lay hidden in the pouch; a mouthwatering treasure.
“Are you sure? These are expensive.” At Olena’s raised eyebrow, redness tinges my cheeks. “I’ve only cooked with them a few times, when Porto could afford it.” The quartermaster laughs as they nod.
“You’ll do a better job of it then the rest of us. Have fun!” Their melodic voice is touched by hints of laughter as they head back and leave us to the task at hand. Shrugging, Olena lays down her parcels and sits back to watch me.
As the pot heats up, I taste a small piece of the cheese. Nutty and textured. Interesting. Next, the spices. The minuscule pinch on the tip of my tongue set my tongue ablaze with intensity. Smoke, heat, and salt all at the same time. I have never tasted something quite like it.
A plan forms and a smile takes root. I ask Olena to cut the meat into small strips so that we have enough for everyone.
She does so with no more than a nod, deferring to my authority over the makeshift kitchen.
I throw the butter into the pot and as it melts, I add in a large amount of seasoning, but not all of it.
I inhale deeply, my mouth watering at the divine scent.
Olena makes a noise behind me and my smile broadens.
Without waiting too long, I take her work and add it to the pot.
The meat hits the butter with a sizzle, the fat immediately rendering out.
Stirring the pot to prevent the butter from burning, I set Olena to slicing the cheese into thin strips as well.
Her timing is perfect as the meat hits the right point just as she finishes.
Like the spices, I add most of the cheese to the pot, reserving a small amount for later.
I grab two of the leftover pieces and hand one to Olena.
“A perk of cooking is you get to taste as you go.” Her pale blue eyes light up as we sample our treasure. Olena and I both groan in appreciation, basking in the small joy of good food.
“Am I interrupting something?” Olena stands straight as a board, saluting as my eyes snap to Helia standing on the other side of the fire, smirking with one hand on her hip.
“Commander! We were just—”
I cut Olena off by tossing another piece of the cheese to Helia, my smirk matching hers. Stirring the pot to prevent burning, I watch as Helia catches and tastes the cheese. Her meadowed eyes grow lidded as the flavor of the cheese coats her mouth.
Eventually, she cracks them open and looks at me. “Okay. I get it.”
I laugh and Olena stands behind me, shifting from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation.
“Helia, can you rouse the band? Dinner is ready.” Olena makes a noise at my lack of title with Helia quirking an eyebrow up. That is, until I waggle another piece of cheese, my smirk never leaving. She barks a laugh and holds out her hand, the bribe passing between us.
“At your command, my cook,” she says with a salute and a wink. Heat rushes to my face, but my smile doesn’t diminish. We haven’t spoken since that night in Nolphi, but gods know I’ve been thinking about it. Thankfully, Helia turns to summon everyone before I have to come up with a witty response.
The band files over as Olena and I serve up the meal.
First, the flatbread; torn into pieces that are the perfect size.
Then layer the contents of the pot on top, the melted cheese perfectly gooey.
Just before serving, I add crumbled pieces of the leftover cheese and a small pinch of the spice on top.
Exclamations of contentment and joy crop up among the soldiers, most of whom are used to simple foods while traveling.
With everyone finally served, Olena and I take our portions and sit to enjoy the finished product.
We share a look of satisfaction and settle into a calm silence, watching the rest of the band mingle and splinter into their various groups.
Helia walks among them all, sharing a laugh here, listening to concerns there; the responsibility of duty. She catches me looking and throws me a wink and another smile. The heat returns to my face as I quickly look away. Olena raises a single eyebrow at this and slightly shakes her head.
“Olena, are relationships common among the band?”
She hums in thought, gazing out among our fellow spears. Perhaps there was someone amongst them that she fancies. “Yes, relationships are allowed. Keep in mind that this line of work does not create long lives.”
She stands, brushing the crumbs of her meal off her hands.
With a slight point of her head, she directs my attention to the approaching Helia.
“Also, officers are usually off limits. Power imbalance and all that. Just be careful Skion.” I have no reply, but toss her the last piece of cheese in thanks as she departs.
I finish my meal just as Helia makes her way over and takes Olena's spot. Perhaps in Olena’s eyes, there is a power imbalance; but the truth beneath the surface is a different tale.
“That was a great meal, Skion. And not just for the taste.” Helia waves a hand toward the camp. Despite the tension of the past week, there are pockets of laughter and cheer. “Sometimes, it's the small things that make a difference.”
“Are you making fun of our height difference?” A quirk of a smile flashes on my face, giving up the joke all too quickly. Helia lets out a warm laugh, her smile overshadowing mine.
“A cook, and a witty one at that. I enjoy those qualities.” For the third time today, my face reddens as I see the gleam in her eyes.
Noting my blushing, Helia's eyes crinkle slightly. “You and I don’t have much opportunity to talk and get to know each other. How would you feel if we started training together? We can train for a bit and have some time to talk after without worry about the others.” My smile reflects in hers at the idea.
“I would love that. Though”—my brows knit together—“what would you train me on? Andra is focused on conditioning and Bellius has strategy and the spear.”
Helia nods, shooting a quick glance around. “You’d keep training with the other two, but our training would focus on practical application of your power. You’ll need to be able to use it in a fight.”
Ah. The prospect of spending time with Helia dims slightly at the reality of our situation.
“You said I was a Conduit and that Lunos would explain more in my dreams. It’s been several days and she’s yet to show up.”
“She will; trust me.” The corner of Helia’s mouth quirks, unknown emotion behind her eyes. “You’re the single most important thing to her.” Right. What was it Helia had said? A mountain on the scales of war? Whatever the hells that means.
“What are you going to do after everything?” Helia blinks at my question. “You said we needed to reach Askepollo. What will you do after that?” Dark clouds weigh across her brow as she processes what I asked.
“I’m not sure. Like I told you before, you’re the purpose of my existence. However, I have no idea what awaits in Askepollo.” Helia’s words are heavy, fettered to the yoke of her purpose. Perhaps this is some of what she meant in Nolphi.
“I’m sorry Helia.”
She shakes her head, loose locks swaying.
“Don’t be. Sorry implies it’s your fault.
You had no say in it.” We sit in comfortable silence for a while, watching the activities of the camp begin to die down for the evening.
The watch is set, bedrolls laid out, and dice games wrap up, as I look up at the night.
The stars shine brightly tonight, a sea of lights across Nia’s darkened sky.
Lunos blooms up there as well, a counter point, an inexorable presence.
According to legend, Nia and Lunos are eternal friends, always protecting the other.
I can feel Helia’s green gaze upon me, a pool of wonder.
I wait, hiding a smile lest I bring the moment to an early end.
“What about you Skion? What do you want when everything is over?” Not the question I expected, but I leave my walls down for the moment.
What do I want? I think I know some of that now, but it’s difficult to put it in words.
Perhaps, one day soon, I’ll be able to tell her. Be able to explain who I want to be.
“Like you said, we don’t know what’s to come. But, I’d like to open a taverna someday; The Quiet Lake.” A dream of a young heart, held dear. And something more; a name of import to my future self.
“The Quiet Lake. A good name, a welcoming one. I would like to see it come true.” I turn to her, seeing no laughter, no malice, nor judgment.
Only the support of a friend. Gods, but she’s beautiful.
Her piercing eyes, the honey in her voice, the firm strength of a mountain.
The way she lounges next to me with one arm resting on a knee pulled to her chest. More than that, it’s her kindness.
Mandate from Lunos or not, she could have left all the Athosians behind to die or refused the Archon’s deal to house the refugees.
Her free hand lays braced on the ground between us, a mere hands-length away from me. Were we always sitting this close to each other? Thunder erupts in my chest as I look around quickly. No one is nearby and the fire only casts enough light for me to see her.
Heart in my throat and flames on my cheeks, I lace my fingers in Helia’s. Her hands are wondrous. Callouses, yes. Scars, here and there. The kind of hands I would trust to catch me as softly as a mound of sheep’s wool. Hands that could reveal the world in me or keep the outer one at bay.
With a hum of satisfaction, Helia curls her fingers, entwining with mine. Such a small thing. Such a momentous thing. I look up from our locked hands and my heart stops entirely. Helia is smiling wider than I have ever seen, and her eyes well up, misty and wet.
“Are you okay?”
Helia nods quickly, futilely holding back a tear.
“Yeah, I’m good. I just, ah, never really held hands with anyone before.
Sorry; it’s stupid I’m getting all emotional over this.
” She rubs her eye with the back of her other hand, eagerly removing any evidence of emotion.
Empathy courses through me; she tried to fill the loneliness with war, people, and drink.
She never had genuine connection before.
How many people has Helia been able to talk to about who she is; about what she is?
Fuck it. Abandoning all restraint, I lean over and kiss her.
Helia’s lips are surprisingly soft compared to the rest of her, clouds at the forefront of a rainstorm.
My eyes close, the thunder in my chest returning with a roar.
All I can feel is the caress of Helia's lips lovingly across mine.
The slight taste of salt from her wet tears.
The tease of her tongue at the edge of my lip.
I push closer to her, needing Helia to understand the fire she’s ignited in my soul.
The lock of our hands tightens, holding onto the moment for dear life.
Her free hand slips up my neck, threading my growing hair.
The callouses on her palm run along my skin as she keeps me firmly in place, as though I might bolt like a frightened deer before a hunter.
Still deep in Helia’s embrace, I place my free hand on her forearm, more to brace myself than anything else.
Helia continues to sweetly devour me, taking her time, learning my lips just as I learn hers.
My chest is breaking under the speed of my heartbeat.
Pantheons, she is stealing my breath, and I love every second of it.
Tragically, achingly, Helia finally pulls away, the world snapping back to reality.
Our breathing is ragged, faces flushing with delight.
Helia smiles, tears gone, the only proof of their existence the salt on my lips and the glow in her eyes.
Joy blooms in my stomach at the sight, until her smile dims slightly.
“Skion, normally this kind of relationship isn’t allowed between officers and subordinates.
It leaves things open to favoritism and, it can cause deadly distractions.
If you truly want a relationship, it means that when we are on duty, we are commander and soldier; even if we know there is more. Do you understand?”
I nod, her words sobering and yet leaving my light undimmed.
“Understood, commander.” My smirk brings Helia’s smile back to full force, her contented laughter a balm for the islands of loneliness inside us both.