Chapter Thirty-Two
THE NEXT DAY comes all too soon. Sore and tired, the growing ache in my knees threatens to stay for the entire day’s march. Tonight, I’ll just sleep. That sounds like a nice change of pace.
“Hey Itho! Long night?” Turning while we march side by side, I give Olena a blank look at her suggestive tone. Despite my body wanting to lay down forever, I can’t help but given in to her humor. We do have a lot to talk about, after all.
I look around and most of the warriors nearby are either focusing on the march or off chatting in their groups.
None would be able to hear us. “Not quite. I mean, yes, but not exactly in the way you’re thinking.
That was two nights ago.” A delighted squeal eeks out as Olena leans in, eager to hear more.
“You are not getting all the details. No amount of pouting will help.”
She straightens, still smiling. Waiting.
“Fine! It was great; amazing actually. That’s all you’re getting!”
Olena punches me in the shoulder in celebration.
A question seems to cross her mind, as her eyes turn thoughtful.
“So, uh, not quite sure how to ask this but given that you’re a woman but weren’t born that way, how did you…
well…” Heat roars to my face at such a personal question, despite seeing Olena blush just as much.
I look around furtively, making sure no one heard her.
“Olena! You can’t just ask me that!”
Olena immediately apologizes, sincerity in her face. “I’m sorry Itho! I can only imagine how difficult it must be to navigate that and, well, we’re spear sisters. I figured if you wanted to talk about it…” Her voice trails off, guilt weighing her shoulders down.
I can’t stifle the stony sigh welling up in my throat.
It’s not exactly something I know how to talk about.
Even the chat with Helia last night beat around the bush.
But Olena is right; out of everyone I had ever known, she would be the one to talk to.
Well, outside of Helia. Resting a hand on her shoulder, I give a gentle squeeze.
“Don’t apologize. You’re right; you’re the only one outside of Helia I would talk to about it. You probably could have asked in a better way, but…thank you for caring.” Olena grins sheepishly, our sisterhood still intact. We walk for a time while I think on her question.
“You’re not wrong by the way.” Olena snaps out of the marching fugue state she had settled back into and listens with rapt attention.
“I was pushing things off because I didn’t know how to…
” I gesture toward my body, lacking the words.
She understands though, nodding along. “I’m sure Helia was starting to get frustrated.
But eventually I realized that nothing is guaranteed, nothing is a given.
At some point, you have to take a leap. I thought we would figure it out in the moment, and we did.
” Olena leans in at this, smug look plastered across her face, oblivious to the path in front of us.
“Sooo? How’d you make it work?” I half expect Olena to waggle her eyebrows like an old man, but no, she only waits for me with that smug smile still.
“Really?! Gods Olena, maybe you need to get laid.” Peals of laughter erupt from Olena, though, at my reaction or in defiance of my words, I’m not sure. The pines along the edge of the path dampen the volume of her joy. An occasional creak of a branch adds to the chords of Olena’s laughter.
Eventually, the rumbling of her shoulders calm to the point where she can speak.
“Oh don’t worry about me, I have plenty of options.
The priests all seem like good distractions.
” Unbelievable. No, entirely believable.
Olena looks forward once more, her laughing eyes turning introspective. “Do you plan on staying in the Spears?”
I trip on a piece of loose gravel, catching myself with my spear before making a complete fool of myself. What a question. I’ve been so caught up in reaching the end of this journey, reaching Lunos and possibly losing Helia, that I haven’t spent much time thinking about after.
“I don’t know. I’ve not thought much past reaching Askepollo. I always wanted to open a taverna, but I’m not sure I want to do so alone.” I resist the urge to look over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of my personal goddess. I wonder if that would make Helia laugh or cringe.
“So, you knew we were heading to Askepollo then?” Shit.
I spoke without thinking. My mouth work to form and excuse only to stop short at Olena’s raised hand.
“Relax. You have tremendous power; you wouldn’t waste your time here with us for no reason.
Also, she’d consider it, I think.” Olena rolls her eyes at the whiplash on my face.
“Not wanting to open the taverna on your own? Oh come on, it was obvious. Seriously though, I think she’d consider it and not just due to your budding relationship.
You haven’t seen her on the battlefield, not really. ”
I suppose that’s true. We’ve been through a couple attacks, but we’ve never been in an extended battle. I’m not even sure I’d last that long without my power. I furrow my brow in thought as we follow the path.
“What does that have to do with whether or not Helia would leave with me?”
“It has everything to do with it. Well, I might be the only one to think so. There was a battle a year or so before you joined. It was some political skirmish that ended with a battle between hired soldiers, because why risk your own people when you could pay someone instead?” Venom drips from her words, anger sizzling at the powerful using the lives of others for their gain.
“Anyway. The enemy hired more mercenaries than our side, so we were outnumbered. And yet, the commander simply drew her blade and charged in, no shield even. No fancy tactics, just a lone charge into the enemy ranks. We followed quickly behind her, but we got stuck at the front line whereas she pierced through. Her blade drank deeply that day as she flowed between enemies. A deadly, inhuman dance alone, untouchable by any mortal. I still remember the sickly crimson sheen splattered across her armor and sword at the end of the battle. She stood surrounded by scores of the dead and that was the moment that most of the Spears began to follow her without question.”
Olena is lost in the memory, her grip tightening on the haft of her spear. I look back, catching a glimpse of Helia chatting with Lyras in the middle of the band. I’ve seen the iron in her, but nothing like that.
“That still doesn’t—.”
Olena shakes her head, cutting me off. “I’m getting there.
She stood there, among the dead, among the slaughtered, blood dripping from her.
I approached her first, everyone either recovering from the fight or too in awe of our commander.
The look in her eyes…she was empty, Itho.
No post-battle fatigue or adrenaline. Just a pure void of sadness.
So, when I tell you that I think she would consider leaving, that is why.
She may be the strongest commander and fighter I have ever seen, but I don’t believe she wants to be; if she ever did. ”
Watching Helia, I can’t help but see the truth of it.
Her path was created to be that perfect warrior, sculpted by Lunos for a singular purpose.
Who wouldn’t chafe at their bindings? Who wouldn’t stare into the abyss?
I chew the inside of my lip as I think on Olena’s story, on her own truth revealed. I need to trust in my friend.
“Olena, I need your help. No—the commander and I need your help.” Olena perks up, unsure what to expect. I breathe deep, the pines filling my senses. Slowly, I explain my plan to save Helia.