Chapter Eleven Nadir
Standing against the wall with my arms crossed, I watch Mael and Lor spar in the sheltered backyard of the house. He’s teaching her how to use that dagger under her pillow, and she’s a quick study.
It’s obvious she’s used to fighting, though I can tell from the lack of finesse and her brute force that it was with her fists and not a weapon. My jaw clenches at the thought. I know she spent her years in Nostraza defending herself against countless lowlifes. She told me. She hurled it in my face exactly the way I deserved. Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever be able to get past this rotten thing that sits between us like a decaying organ left to fester in the sun.
She had some training with Gabriel during the Trials, but that was with a sword, and I’m assuming he didn’t have much opportunity to finesse her skills. I wonder how hard he tried or if it was just another obligation he rushed through.
“Remember, a dagger is small, so you have to get close,” Mael says. “It does no good to wave that thing around. I’m just going to walk up and snatch it from you.”
“Try,” she says with a challenge in her tone, and I can’t help the smile that creeps to my face. Lor is fierce, but Mael is going to wipe the floor with her. There’s a reason he rose through the ranks of the Aurora army as quickly as he did. He moves like shadows, and though he keeps his true power concealed, he has the ability to unleash hell when pushed to his limit.
That skill saved our lives in the prisoner camp where we first met, suffering side by side for months under a battalion led by Atlas, who did everything he could to humiliate and punish me. Aphelion captured us during a raid behind their lines, leashing me and anyone else they suspected of having magic with long, thin chains of arcturite. Mael stayed under the radar because they had no idea what he could do. I left Atlas alive that day, though I didn’t have to, and he’s always hated that he owes me anything.
Mael grins and then goes on the offensive as they duck and weave while Lor slices her blade. He’s far too well trained to fall for any of her feints or tricks, and before long, he sweeps a leg behind her knees, sending her onto the pavers, where she lands on her back with an “oof.”
“Fuck,” she wheezes, and I tense, resisting every urge in my body to help her. I hate seeing her hurt in any way. Mael stands over her with his arms folded, wearing his signature irreverent smile, and she glares up at him with that ferocious expression that always makes my dick stir. I don’t like it when she looks at anyone else that way, but then she might never look at anyone again.
When she asked me for friendship in the clearing, it nearly broke my fucking heart. Of course I want to be her friend, but I want so much more. I’m doing my best to understand. She needs time to come to terms with everything she’s lived through.
Mael holds out his hand and pulls her up before they resume training.
“You just going to stand there?” Mael taunts me. “Afraid your girlfriend will realize I’m the better fighter?”
“I’m not his girlfriend,” Lor growls, and those words explode inside my chest, making me wince. I push it away. Much like I’ve been doing with all my feelings lately. I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much. I’m used to this. Pretending I don’t feel anything is how I’ve survived. But I do. Fuck, how I feel everything.
Mael rolls his eyes. “Sure you aren’t.”
Lor responds with a low snarl as they begin circling one another. I have a feeling Mael is about to pay for that comment.
The door to the courtyard bangs open, and to my surprise, Gabriel strides out. He stops and looks at the three of us as Mael and Lor pause in their fighting stances.
“What is it?” I ask, instantly on alert. “Does he know?”
Gabriel’s anger is evident by the deep groove between his eyes and the lines cording his neck. His hair is wild, and his cheeks are pink. His shoulders are so tight I’m surprised they haven’t snapped right off. “No,” he grinds out. “He doesn’t know yet.”
My posture relaxes at that. “Then what is it?”
“You have two weeks. That’s all the time I can give you.”
“Why?” Lor asks. “What happened?”
“He set the date for the bonding with Apricia, but only because he was forced into it. He’s ordered me to find you before then or else…”
He trails off, and he doesn’t have to finish that sentence for all of us to understand what he’s saying. It’s Lor or him, and he’s not choosing her.
Lor nods.
“Of course. Two weeks.”
Her gaze flicks to me with alarm, and I try to maintain an outward show of calm for her sake, even if I’m roiling inside.
“Do you have a plan?” Gabriel asks. “Tell me you’re working on something.”
I nod. We don’t have a very good one yet, but we’ll come up with something.
“Good,” Gabriel says.
“Thank you,” Lor says. “For all of this.”
Gabriel tips his chin towards her. “I’m going to go get drunk. And a blow job.”
With that declaration, he spins on his heel without another word and leaves, slamming the door behind him.
“What was with him?” Mael asks.
I stare at the door and shake my head. “I don’t know, but when I talked to him the other day, I sensed something was happening with Atlas.”
“What?” Mael asks. “Trouble in paradise?”
As much as we joke about Atlas and his circle of winged babysitters, I’ve never gotten the sense that Gabriel is as loyal to Atlas as he appears.
I’ll never forget Tyr’s funeral. Gabriel had been a mess, barely holding himself together. He disappeared halfway through the ceremony, and no one else seemed to have noticed. When he hadn’t resurfaced hours later, I went searching for him. Something about the look on his face told me he needed someone, even if it was me.
When I found him, he was sitting on one of the clifftops overlooking the city, surrounded by empty bottles of the strongest orc-brewed moonshine to be found between Aphelion and The Aurora. He stood at the very edge, swaying dangerously, too drunk to maintain his balance for long. Even with his wings, I strongly suspect that if I hadn’t shown up, he would have fallen. Or maybe not fallen but jumped.
“It might seem that way,” I say, answering Mael’s question.
“So, what’s the plan?” he asks as we all file back into the house and gather around the table.
The back door opens again, and Willow slips inside. Amya did a good job with her hair, turning her black tresses into dark blonde. It doesn’t entirely disguise her, but combined with the short haircut, she looks a lot less like Lor.
We all overheard their argument last night about the things that transpired in Nostraza, and I can tell it’s bothering Lor, but she’s trying to put on a brave face. The accusations they flung at one another were enough to shame me yet again for allowing any of that to happen. No wonder Lor can’t find it in herself to trust me.
“Willow,” Lor says, her voice clipped. “How did it go?”
“I got the job,” Willow replies triumphantly with a thumbs-up. “I start tomorrow.”
I blow out a breath of relief. At least something’s going right. Lor and Tristan may not want Willow to take on this risk, but after the way she stood up for herself, I’m positive she can handle it.
I smile at the determined look on Willow’s face. She might be softer and quieter than Lor, but she’s got a similar strength of spirit. It’s no wonder Amya finds herself drawn to her. My sister has always been the sort to rescue every baby bird that’s been shoved from its mother’s nest.
“How was Apricia?” Lor asks, wrinkling her nose.
“Just as awful as you said.”
Lor gives Willow a tight smile.
“But I can handle it. It won’t be long, right?”
There’s a pointedness in Willow’s words, and Lor nods.
“Of course you can.”
“I saw Gabriel,” Willow adds. “He looked really pissed off.”
“He didn’t recognize you, did he?” Lor asks.
Willow shakes her head. “No, he barely looked at me. Apricia was too busy yelling at everyone.”
“Did you see Halo or Marici?” Lor asks. Since we arrived, she’s been wondering about seeing her friends in the Sun Palace.
“I didn’t,” Willow says, “but once I’m working there, I’m sure I will.”
“I wish you could tell them I’m thinking about them.”
Willow gives her sister a sad smile. “I’m sure they know.”
“Okay, so Willow will get inside and find out more about the palace,” Lor says, turning to face the rest of us. “What else can we do?”
“We should use the ceremony as a distraction,” I say, just as Hylene enters the kitchen.
“Won’t the bonding happen in the throne room?” Lor asks.
“Yes, but there will be days of pomp and pageantry. Plus, the castle will be full of people from the other realms for at least a week beforehand. This is an occasion everyone will be expected to attend. We might be able to blend in better amongst the crowd.”
“But you’re not getting an invitation unless Atlas had a change of heart about your banishment,” Mael points out. “Do you think he’d still invite your father? Or Amya?”
“I doubt it,” I say, my gaze sliding to Hylene. “You up for a task?”
She’s leaning against the counter and smiles with her fist propped under her chin. “Always.”
“You think you can get yourself invited? We’ll need someone who has permission to be inside and who’ll be privy to all the most exclusive parties. Then gather whatever intel you can.”
Her smile stretches. “I’d be terrible at my job if I couldn’t.”
“What exactly is your job?” Mael asks and she glares at him. One of these days, she’s going to rip off his balls, chop them into pieces, and feed them to a bear with a smile on her face. And he’ll deserve it.
“It’s to mingle with those of society who wouldn’t touch a brute like you with a hundred-foot pole.”
Lor laughs at that as Mael grins.
“Anyway,” Hylene says, checking her bright red nails. “I’m sure there’s some lonely minor noble looking for a piece of arm candy he can bring as his date. It’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel.”
“How will you get the attention of an Aphelion noble?” Lor asks, and Hylene winks.
“I have my ways.”
“Okay, can we go to Heart then?” Lor asks, directing the question at me. “We can’t do much else while we wait for these pieces to come together, right? I still think it’s important we understand who was sharing our secrets before we speak to the Mirror.”
I rub the arch of my eyebrow, feeling an ache build. I was hoping she’d let this go, but I understand why she can’t.
“I’m just waiting for word from Etienne that my father’s soldiers have left entirely.” I pause. “He knows someone who was close to your grandmother and wants to speak with you.”
I debated sharing this with her ever since receiving the message yesterday, but I know keeping it from her wouldn’t be right. Also, it would do nothing to earn the trust I’m trying so desperately to win.
She sits up, now on alert.
“Who?”
“I’m not sure,” I say. “He didn’t want to put her name in writing, just in case.”
“Okay, so when can he confirm it’s safe?”
If Lor wasn’t going to let this go before, then she certainly isn’t now.
“Within the next day or two, I hope,” I say. “We can’t risk them getting wind of our presence.”
Lor chews on her bottom lip, and I wish I could go over and take her in my arms and promise her that everything is going to be okay. I wish I knew how to make everything okay.
“What’s wrong?” Willow asks her.
“Does it matter to you?” Lor asks, and Willow’s expression collapses. Obviously, they haven’t worked through their disagreement yet.
Lor scrubs her hands down her face.
“Nothing is wrong,” she adds, but it’s obvious that’s a lie. “Sorry. I think I’m going to take a walk. I’ll get us some of those meat pies we all like for dinner.”
Then without another word, she grabs the hat and loose jacket she uses to conceal herself, heads out the back door, and leaves the rest of us staring after her.