Fate of the Sun King

Chapter Thirty-One Lor On The Road To Aphelion Present Day

We make our way back to Aphelion. I haven’t said anything to Tristan about what I’ve learned, because I’m not sure how to break this to him. The Woodlands Primary. Will he be happy? Scared? As overwhelmed as I am?

Somehow, we’d always imagined it would be me on a throne with Tristan and Willow at my side—that was the story our mother painted for us. But maybe we should have anticipated our paths would eventually diverge.

“What’s wrong?” Nadir asks after we stop for a rest.

Mael and Tristan have gone off to explore, arguing with one another about what kinds of fish inhabit the nearby stream, while Nadir and I remain by the fire. Etienne has returned to the settlements to ensure everything is stable after the king’s men evaded their previous surveillance. After another sweep to ensure they’ve truly evacuated this time, he will meet us back in Aphelion to help with the next phase of our plan, whatever that is.

“Nothing,” I say.

He takes my hands in one of his and gives me a serious look.

“You can’t hide from me anymore.”

“I learned something else from the Staff,” I say, biting the corner of my lip. “About Tristan.”

Nadir’s gaze turns shrewd. “You should talk to him first.”

“Thank you,” I say, grateful he understands the need to speak to my brother alone. It wouldn’t be fair to Tristan.

“Is that all?” he asks.

“There’s something else about my grandmother,” I admit.

“What about her?”

“She did it on purpose, Nadir. Her mother. The priestess. They all warned her it wouldn’t work. That she was destined for ruin. She tried to take the magic of Heart, and she did it. She stole the Crown off her mother’s head and tried to take it. None of it was an accident. Or at least not in the way people assume.”

Nadir is quiet for a moment, and I listen to the crackle of the fire and the stirring of the leaves in the breeze.

“What bothers you the most about knowing that?”

The question forces me to consider several options. What is bothering me?

“I suppose it’s knowing that she was selfish and didn’t care what happened to anyone else in her desire for power. When Rhiannon told me about her, none of her stories painted my grandmother in the most flattering light. I thought maybe she was just young and foolish, but after seeing what really happened, now I’m not so confident about that.”

“But you understand none of that is a reflection on you and the person you are?”

Zerra, how does he always see straight through me?

“Isn’t it, though? They already curse her name throughout Ouranos, and they don’t even know the whole truth. What do you think everyone will believe of me if they learn this too?”

Nadir leans down and presses a soft kiss to the space below my ear. “They’re going to judge you for the queen you are. Not the one that died centuries ago.”

My answer is a wary look.

“Right. Because I’m sure you’ve never been judged against the evidence of your father’s actions.”

“That’s different,” he says, his jaw clenching. “My father is still alive and very much indulging in said ‘actions,’ but your grandmother lived many years ago. They can judge me because I am his son and have been under his thumb for my entire life.”

His eyes darken with some unvoiced trauma, and I decide not to push him on what he’s saying, knowing there are things he hasn’t shared with me yet. Perhaps in time he will. Still, I’m not sure how it’s actually different, and I am positive no one will overlook what my grandmother did. Everyone wants a scapegoat for the wrongs done to them, and if it can’t be her, then it will be the one who wears her crown.

I lean my head against his shoulder and let out a sigh. His arm wraps around me, his hand running up and down my arm.

“Nadir?”

“Yes, Lightning Bug?”

I peer up at him, and he cocks a smile.

“What?” he asks.

“That’s going to take some getting used to. You calling me that. Us like this.”

There’s a brief flash of uncertainty in his expression, and I sit up, taking his face in my hands.

“I don’t mean that in a bad way. Just that we’ve been one thing since the day we met, and now we’re something else. And it’s just like that. There was no transition. From enemies to mates.”

The last word echoes in the silent clearing. A promise and an oath.

“You were never my enemy, Lor. I never saw you that way, even when I was tearing my hair out in the manor house because you were driving me insane.”

I snort out a laugh. “You had just kidnapped me.”

“Rescued you,” he counters.

“You were my enemy,” I whisper. “I was so… angry. I needed somewhere to direct all that rage, and you made the most sense.”

“I know.” His smug smile says it all, though, and I’m so grateful he’s not holding my behavior against me. “But I knew in my heart of hearts that you and I were meant to be. I just had to be patient.”

I bark out a laugh. “Patient. You stole me from the middle of a party and threw me over your shoulder because I looked at another man. And you broke another one’s wrist because he was nice to me.”

He spreads his hands. “Look, I did the best I could.”

“Thank you for giving me the space I needed these last few weeks. It was killing me. I wanted you, but I didn’t want to want you.”

He snorts a dry laugh. “You have no idea how close to madness I came, Lor.”

“I aim to always keep you on your toes, Aurora Prince.”

He touches my cheek, the tips of his fingers both rough and soft in the most delicious and perfect way.

“I know you do,” he whispers as his thumb presses into my bottom lip.

“It was unfair to ever blame you for any of it. Thank you for putting up with me.”

“Lor, I—” I lean in and kiss him, silencing whatever contradiction he wants to voice.

“No. You’re not going to blame yourself. Your father. Atlas. My grandparents. They are the ones to blame. The only thing I ask now is you give me whatever strength you can to help me work through my… issues.”

He tips his head with a soft smile. “You mean like the anger and the reckless impulsiveness?”

I know he’s only teasing, but it’s not far from the truth. “That would be a start.”

“Listen to me, Heart Queen,” he continues. “I love those things about you. They’re what make you, you. So yes, I’m here to help you face whatever demons you need to slay, but don’t ever lose that fire. You might be my mate, but I would have fallen in love with you anyway because you are impossible to ignore.”

“Okay,” I whisper as those words touch something deep in my chest. I’ve never had someone see and understand me so clearly. Yes, I’ve had Tristan and Willow, but they could only be so much. The love of a sibling is different from that of a partner—especially one destined to stand by your side.

“I’m here for you, too,” I say, looking up at him. “If you need.”

He cracks a wry smile, and I get the sense he’s holding something back. I don’t let that bother me, though. Anything he’s holding close has nothing to do with me—he just needs the same space I’ve needed. With everything I know about his mother and what he’s told me about his father, I know I’m not the only one with monsters prowling through their memories.

So, about this?

His voice enters my head.

What about it?

I’m thinking about all the filthy things I can now say to you when we aren’t alone.

I roll my eyes.

That’s hardly a respectful use of this talent.

His smile widens, and the way he looks at me feels like a gift wrapped in shiny paper and curled ribbon.

“Rhiannon said sometimes mates can hear each other’s thoughts,” I say out loud now. “I assumed we had to bond first, but I guess not.”

“I realize I heard you in Heart that night those men took you.”

“I called to you,” I say. “Maybe we just had to acknowledge the mate bond to make it work.”

He takes my hand and kisses the back. “I love you,” he says.

Ruin. Heartbreak.

The Torch’s words stalk through the chambers of my mind.

“Nadir, there’s something else we need to talk about regarding the bond. I think two things happened that day with my grandparents.”

“What?” he asks.

“My grandmother tried to take the magic of Heart, but I think something went wrong with the sealing of the bond. That’s what they needed Cloris for. But she couldn’t help them at the end, and my grandmother tried to do it herself. That’s what caused at least some of the damage.”

He watches me with a serious expression.

“If we want to bond, then we have to find a way to do so that doesn’t blow up half of Ouranos again.”

He rubs his hands down his face. “Fuck, nothing is ever easy with us, is it?”

“At least we’re never bored.”

“We’ll figure it out, Lor,” he says, wrapping his hand around the side of my neck. “Whatever we have to do.”

I nod. He’s right.

That is not our destiny. I won’t let it be.

We look at each other, and my heart squeezes.

The sun is starting to set, the air growing cooler as his eyes turn hungry.

He leans down and sucks gently on the curve of my neck. “I want you,” he says, his voice rough. “Here. Now. Spread out on the floor, where I feast to my heart’s content. I want to fuck you somewhere we can be alone, where no one can hear us for weeks, so I can make you scream my name until your voice gives out.”

His hand slides from my knee and up my thigh, sending shivers over my skin, even through the leather of my riding pants. I wonder if there will ever come a day when I stop craving him like air.

“Say the word, Aurora Prince,” I gasp as his hand slides between my legs, the heel of his hand pressing on the seam of my pants with just the right amount of pressure.

“Somewhere on a mountaintop perhaps,” he says. “Or deep in a forgotten forest where no one will find us.”

A moan slips from my mouth as he grinds his hand against me. I grab onto his arm, and my head tips back as he places a row of kisses along my jaw.

First, we have to get into the Sun Palace. First, we have to get past Atlas and avoid Nadir’s father, who is out there somewhere hunting for us. If we survive any of this, maybe we’ll have the chance to live out this fantasy.

“I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure we get that,” he says, once again reading my thoughts. His hand continues to press into me, and my back arches as my eyes flutter closed.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” comes a voice that makes Nadir go still. My brain takes a moment to catch up, and I want to protest this unwelcome interruption. “Is this what we have to put up with now? The two of you behaving like horny rabbits whenever I turn my back?”

Nadir snarls as he retrieves his hand from between my legs, and Mael offers us a smarmy grin, his eyes dancing with joy.

“What’s going on?” comes my brother’s voice next, as he looks from me to Nadir while my face warms. It’s one thing for Mael to show up, but it’s quite another for my brother to catch us in the impending throes of lust.

“We walked in on something,” Mael says in a singsong voice, and Tristan’s face darkens as he takes the two of us in.

Tristan is dripping in water, his hair and his clothing completely soaked.

“Why are you wet?” I ask, eager to change the subject.

Mael barks out a laugh and slings a limp fish off his shoulder.

“We found a log in the river, perfect for rolling. We made a bet, and he lost.” Mael grins at Tristan, who throws him another glower.

“Well, glad to see you’re getting along?” I ask, as Tristan leans down to dig into his pack and pulls out a tunic.

“The bastard cheated,” Tristan says, yanking off his wet top and exchanging it for the dry one.

“I did not cheat,” Mael says, pressing a hand to his chest. “I really did think I saw a bear.”

Then Mael looks at me and winks.

“It was a squirrel.”

Mael waves a hand. “Squirrel. Bear. I get them mixed up sometimes. I’m more of a city guy.”

Nadir and I exchange a glance as they continue to argue, trying to suppress our smiles.

Mael sets to preparing the fish, and before long, he hands us all a tender piece.

“Did you learn to cook in the army too?” I ask as I accept the food, remembering what Nadir told me that night in the Heart Castle.

Mael snorts. “No. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I had to learn to cook at an early age. I was the oldest of eleven brothers and sisters, and we all had to pull our weight.”

It’s hard to imagine Mael outside his role as Nadir’s captain, but obviously, he had a life before that too.

“Where are they now?” I ask as he sits down across from us.

“In The Aurora. After the war, Nadir made me his captain, and I moved my mother from the tiny house where we grew up and helped all my siblings get settled in homes of their own. I don’t want for much living in the Keep, and my compensation is… generous.”

He and Nadir exchange a look, and it’s obvious they’re sharing a message. I’m not sure what Mael means by “generous,” but I have a sense I understand.

“It’s a good thing I’ve never had a head for numbers,” Nadir says. “I’m sure you drink more whisky from my stash than I pay you in a year.”

Mael snorts and smiles. “At least twice as much.”

“Well, maybe one of you can teach me someday,” I say. “I never really had the chance to learn how.”

“Right,” Tristan says. “Because she was tossed in prison as a—”

“Tris,” I say, interrupting him. “Don’t. That isn’t necessary.”

I understand. While I’ve forgiven Nadir for everything, Tristan has no reason to do the same.

“What?” Tristan asks. “Is this about protecting him?” He gestures to Nadir.

“No, it’s about protecting me.”

“Lor, I don’t get to dictate who you… choose to spend your time with. You’ve always made that clear, but—”

“No, you don’t. That’s always been true. But I also understand why you aren’t ready to trust him. It took me a long time too.”

“Not really that long,” Tristan says, and I nod.

“You’re right. It must seem fast, but we’ve spent a lot of time together, and I need you to accept that he’s a part of my life now, even if you’re not ready to make him a part of yours.”

“Lor,” Nadir interrupts. “It’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t. Tristan, please. You and Willow are two of the most important people in my life. You know that. But it’s not just the three of us against the world anymore.”

It’s been only a few months since I was nothing but a prisoner who never knew if she’d see the next day. And now I’ve competed for a crown, I’m being hunted by two rabid kings, and I’ve met the man I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with. Everything has changed.

When Willow and I argued a few days ago, I was the one worried about how she might already be slipping away from me, but now that our lives have expanded in ways none of us ever imagined, I understand all of this was inevitable. It had been naive for any of us to think that if we ever got out of Nostraza, we wouldn’t have to contend with a million outside influences vying for our attention.

Tristan’s eyes flicker from me to Nadir and back. “Why, because he’s your mate?”

Mael chuckles, and Tristan tosses him a dark look. Mael raises his hands in supplication.

“Sorry. I’m not laughing at you.”

“Then who are you laughing at?” Tristan demands.

“Him.” Mael cocks his head towards Nadir, who raises an eyebrow in response. “You’ve been such a fucking mess since she showed up. It’s a relief to know there was a reason, and it wasn’t only down to your sparkling personality.”

Nadir opens his mouth as if to argue and then snaps it shut before he gives me a small smile. “I might have been a little in my head the past few weeks.”

“So you’re destined or something?” Tristan asks. I explain everything I’ve been feeling and what Rhiannon told me about the bond. When I’m finished, Tristan is quiet.

“Remember our grandparents were mates too,” I say, and that makes something flicker in his expression. “Rhiannon said they loved each other very much.”

Tristan rubs a hand down his face. “So that means you’re stuck with him. With the son of the king that killed our family and locked us up for half our lives.”

I nod. “The very same one,” I say softly. “I hope that in time you can learn to accept him. I know why it’s hard to trust him, but believe me when I say Nadir has had only my best interests at heart.” I pause, thinking of how he stole me from Aphelion so he could interrogate me and told me he would have disposed of me had I turned out to be no one of importance. “Mostly,” I add.

I understand why he did those things, and they had nothing to do with me. Not really.

“It means you’re stuck with him, too, Tris. Because any future I have beyond what we’re trying to achieve is one that includes both of you in it.”

Tristan lets out a deep sigh and peers at Nadir as if looking at him properly for the very first time.

Nadir grins and leans forward, holding out a hand. “Welcome to the family, Brother.”

Tristan’s glare is hard as stone, and Nadir winks.

“Okay, too soon for that. We’ll work on it.”