Chapter Forty-Four Gabriel The Sun Palace
The palace is the site of pure, unfiltered chaos. I’ve never seen it like this. Every corner is stuffed with so many people and flowers and rolls of fabric, I can barely walk without bumping into something or someone.
It’s claustrophobic. It’s drowning me. I fantasize about a tiny island floating in the middle of the ocean where I have to catch fish with my bare hands and collect rainwater in coconut shells and my only company is the sweet bliss of silence.
While Apricia screams at everyone, Atlas hides in his study, summoning me daily to ask if I have news of Lor’s whereabouts. I’ve made up a thousand lies and rumors. Sightings of her on the other side of Ouranos, potential leads that all conveniently end in nothing. But I’m running out of time. She’s running out of time.
Atlas is losing his patience, and I feel the increasing strain of deceiving him. Pressure squeezes around my organs, and my tendons stretch like they’ve been wrenched over a loom. I consider asking Tyr to alter his orders so I can work around them, just enough so I can breathe. The few times I’ve done it in the past, I’ve always had to be careful so as not to arouse Atlas’s suspicions. I’ve become a master of operating just outside the rigid circle of my parameters without drawing too much attention to myself. I, too, am a master of illusion of a different sort.
But even if I could convince Tyr to loosen Atlas’s hold on me, the effort is wasted. He’s stopped speaking entirely, and nothing I do has been able to coax out a word in weeks.
Today we’re all stuck inside the future queen’s massive entertaining salon. The official presentation, when the citizens of Aphelion will gather at the gates to kneel before their king and queen, is tomorrow, and Apricia is throwing a party today. The other nine warders and I, along with half the fucking castle, have been summoned on the pretense of celebrating, but this is all the most pathetic facade.
Atlas and Apricia lounge on a pile of cushions at the front of the room, taking in well wishes and greetings from guests floating through. The fallen Tributes are also in attendance, and Apricia is sure to remind them at every opportunity that they could have been in her place had they been “better.”
Even I can see the relief on their faces. I’m reasonably sure not a single one regrets failing the Trials right now. I wonder if Halo and Marici have seen Lor. It would be just like her to risk her neck to get a moment with her friends. I also wonder why Nadir asked for Callias, but I’m keeping myself on a need-to-know basis.
Atlas is tense. I can tell from across the room where I stand with my hands behind my back. Apricia likes how the warders appear—our white wings are unique and a source of curiosity to everyone we meet.
Admittedly, the ten of us cut striking figures in our golden armor, but she doesn’t allow us to speak. We’ve been positioned on opposite walls of the room, five on each side, where we’ve been ordered to stand with our wings stretched like we’re fucking marble statues.
At first, Atlas tried to defend us, but Apricia shut him down instantly. He didn’t try very hard to object, and I’m sure it’s because he’s angry I haven’t found Lor. The irony being that I could be using this time to find her instead of standing here like I’m furniture.
But Atlas is mostly angry with me, and the others don’t even know they’re being punished for my lies. I’ve kept this knowledge from them, not because I don’t trust them with my life, but because the less they know, the safer everyone will be.
But the strain is starting to wear on me. Because the order isn’t direct, the effect is more gradual. A few aches and pains here and there. An uncomfortable but manageable tightness in my chest. But it’s starting to get worse, and I’m not sure how much longer I can or should hold out.
At this point, I’d gladly let myself die to keep this secret. Not necessarily out of loyalty to Lor, but because I’m so fucking angry with Atlas.
I look over, feeling eyes on me, and notice Atlas watching. I keep my expression neutral—I am nothing but a servant clad in golden armor who knows how to keep his mouth shut—but I worry that he can sense what I’m hiding.
I inhale a sharp breath at a stabbing twinge below my ribs, and resist the urge to bend over. Fuck, that hurts. I hope that whatever Nadir and Lor are planning, they get on with it soon. A bomb is ticking over all of our heads.
For the next two hours, I stand on the sidelines, shifting from foot to foot as I grow increasingly miserable. It’s hot in here, and the air stirs with a toxic residue of bodies and alcohol and noble snobbery.
Another couple enters the room, and I tense, recognizing Hylene, the woman who was with Lor. She’s stunning with her long red hair and that body of luscious curves. If I were a freer man, I’d fantasize about all the things I’d like to do with her bent over a table.
What is she doing here? I think I recognize the Fae she’s with as Apricia’s brother; her arm is looped through his as she pretends he’s the most fascinating man she’s ever seen. At least, it seems like she’s pretending. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, and her laugh sounds a little forced, but her date seems oblivious.
Either they’re in a relationship, or she’s here to spy for Nadir. I’d bet money it’s the latter, and the twist in my stomach intensifies. How many more secrets can I keep before I collapse under their weight?
Hylene and her companion sidle up to Atlas and Apricia, kissing cheeks and uttering bland platitudes typical of these gatherings. When they’re done, they find themselves refreshments and mingle with the crowd.
I blow out a breath and roll my neck, wondering how much longer I have to stand here. I wonder if I threw myself from the window, whether I’d survive the drop to the rocks below. I’d probably break a few bones, but at least that would get me out of this.
Finally, after what feels like a hundred years, the guests start to slowly drift away, returning to their respective rooms to sleep off their inevitable day-drinking-induced hangovers. It’s moving towards evening, and everyone will want to get some rest before the presentation begins tomorrow. I’m dreading it already.
Eventually, Apricia stands, and Atlas follows. They toss out a few more goodbyes and then retreat further into the queen’s apartments.
To everyone else, it will look like Atlas plans to spend the night with Apricia in her room, but I know he has no intentions of doing so.
I’ve never quite figured out if it’s because Apricia holds no attraction for him or if he’s too consumed with his schemes to consider such matters right now. Atlas has never been one to shy away from female company, but I don’t think anyone has truly held his attention in years.
Once Atlas and Apricia disappear, I catch the eyes of my brothers. Not waiting another moment, we all duck out of the room, heading towards Atlas’s apartments. He’ll use one of the palace’s many hidden corridors to make it back to his study, where he’ll be expecting us.
We arrive at his wing, and the door to his study flies open a second later.
“Gabe!” he barks. “Enter.”
I exchange a look with the others but do as I’m told, closing the door behind me.
Atlas paces the room, and it’s obvious I’m not the only one feeling the physical effects of current events. Atlas looks tired and worn in a way I’ve never seen him before.
“Any news?” he asks.
“I’m sorry, no,” I say, and then tamp down my wince at the pain that shoots up my spine. He stops pacing and looks at me carefully. I try to keep my face bland, hoping he can’t read my lie.
“Atlas,” I say, hoping to distract him and finally learn what’s going on. Maybe if I understand what he wants from Lor, then I’ll feel less guilty when I’m forced to reveal her. Maybe it’s not that bad. “Please. For the thousandth time, tell me why. What do you want her for? Your bonding is in two days, and I don’t think you’re going to find her in time.” I carefully use the word “you” and not “we,” hoping that’s enough of a half-truth.
Atlas spins on me. “You think I don’t know it’s in two days!” he shouts, his face turning red. He’s shaking with fury, his hair wild and his eyes wilder.
“This is all going to fall apart if I have to bond to that… woman!”
“What is?” I ask, taking a step closer. I’m no stranger to Atlas’s outbursts, and more often than not, he’s all bark and no bite. “What is going to fall apart?”
“I’m going to bond to Lor, Gabriel,” he says, and only part of that surprises me. There was a reason she was in the Trials, and after what she told me, I understand he wanted access to her power as a Primary.
What I don’t understand is how Atlas plans to make any of this happen.
“I don’t follow,” I say, pretending I don’t know who or what Lor is.
He looks over with a patronizing smile. “No, you wouldn’t.”
“Atlas, please,” I say. “I’ve spent a century holding my tongue. Years wondering how you’ve managed any of this. Why has the Mirror allowed you to keep up this charade?”
The words hang in the air. These kinds of sentiments have always been forbidden, but there is no hiding from this anymore.
The corner of Atlas’s mouth curls up.
“Destiny has offered me the means to fix the mistake that was made, so don’t presume to stand there with that look on your face, judging me, Gabriel.”
“I’m not judging,” I lie. “I’m just trying to understand.”
Atlas looks me over, the corner of his mouth twisting up into a cruel smile.
“Lor is going to help me find an object that will allow me to bond with her,” he says, and I get the sense he’s been dying to say these words out loud.
Atlas has lived alone with his lies and his murky version of the truth for so long that he needs someone else to become a part of his narrative just to ease his isolation. Despite living in a golden palace surrounded by hundreds of servants and advisors and courtiers, the Sun King is a lonely, lonely man.
“What is it?” I ask, furrowing my brow.
“It’s an amplifier that will allow me to reverse the Mirror’s decision and seize the power I’ve been denied.”
“What?” A cold dread slithers through my veins.
“When I get Lor back, I will make her find it and use it to bond with her, and I’ll finally be the true king of Aphelion.”
I do my best not to react. Internally I’m screaming. What is going on here? Is anything he’s saying true? Has he lost his mind?
“How do you know about this?”
Atlas gives me a patronizing smile, but I don’t miss the touch of wildness that’s entered his eyes. He’s been slipping away for months, and now I wonder about the real monster living under his skin.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “All you need to know is that we must find Lor, and then everything will finally be as it should.”
I step back because several things are clicking together.
“What do you mean, ‘true king of Aphelion’?” I finally ask, my voice raw. “What about Tyr?”
Atlas tips his head, peering at me with an expression that makes my blood turn cold. He walks over to the window and peers out.
“That’s another benefit of this plan. I will finally be rid of him.”
“No.” The word slips out without my meaning to, and then Atlas turns to me with a patient smile that feels as honest as a thief with stolen jewels tucked under his floorboards.
“Oh, Gabe,” Atlas says. “I know you’ve always hoped you’d get your precious Tyr back and you two might get another chance to be happy. But I assure you that getting rid of him has always been in my plans.”
I take another step. No. I can’t let this happen.
“Do you still love him?” Atlas asks, approaching me now. “After all this time, does your light burn for him the way it once did? Do you still pine for a king who is nothing more than bones and skin? A hollow shell of a man? Do you think he remembers how he feels?”
My forehead breaks out in panicked sweat as he stalks closer.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask, the words coming out as a whisper.
Atlas knows he’s picking at all my fears and worst anxieties. My feelings for Tyr that I’ve tried to push down for so long. In spite of everything, a small part of me hoped he’d break free of this cage and return to himself one day. Deep down, I have always known Atlas would find a way to get rid of him. But still, hearing it confirmed chips out a permanent piece of my heart.
“You can’t do that,” I hear myself saying, and Atlas doesn’t even bother to correct me, because we both know I have no power here.
“Where is she, Gabriel?”
I swallow hard, trying to bury my response.
The strain of my lies cinches a band around my chest, and it’s the slightest movement. The slightest squeezing of my eyes and the barest hitch in my breath, but Atlas sees it.
Atlas, who sees almost nothing, finally sees this.
“Where is she, Gabriel?” he asks again, approaching me now, his gaze scanning me from head to toe, shredding me apart bit by bit.
“I don’t know,” I whisper, but I can barely get the words out. They come out garbled and feeble, like the blatant lie they are. A stab through the meat of my stomach causes my nostrils to flare as I clamp down on a scream.
“You’re lying to me,” Atlas hisses. “You’ve been lying to me.” I shake my head, but another pain shoots behind my eye, and I bend over, clutching my face, agony burning over my scalp.
“You’re lying!” Atlas roars. He yanks me back up by the collar, his nose inches from mine. “Tell me the truth! Where is she? Have you seen her?!”
I press my mouth together, the words attempting to fly out of me like a cannon shot. I’ve never wanted to betray Lor, but now that I know Tyr’s life is on the line, the stakes have changed. Whom do I betray?
Atlas shoves me against the wall, his fist pressing into my throat with such force, I grow lightheaded.
“Where. Is. She?” Atlas demands, his teeth bared. The flash of mania in his eyes says he wants to kill me right now. I can’t answer as a fist closes under my ribs, and my mouth gapes open.
He lets out a sound of frustration and tugs me against him. Then with his hand gripped in my collar, he wrenches open the door. All the warders still wait outside with expectant expressions. Atlas shoves me into Jareth, who catches me as I stumble towards him.
“This traitor is lying,” Atlas says. “Are the rest of you holding out on me too?”
They all exchange wary glances. I’m so glad I kept this information to myself.
“Answer me!” Atlas screams, and another warder answers.
“I’m sorry, we don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rhyle says, which makes Atlas roar. There are no other servants in the passage, but someone must hear this commotion.
“Come with me,” Atlas spits, already storming away. “All of you.”
The ten of us exchange another look, but we do as our king asks and follow him through the palace. I already know where we’re headed, and I try to run ahead, hoping to stave off whatever is coming next.
“Atlas,” I say, but he cuts me off.
“Don’t speak to me. Don’t ever fucking speak to me again, Gabriel. You’ve been lying to me all this time. After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”
I nearly bite through my tongue. Done for me? The only thing I’ve ever been is his punching bag and his fucking slave.
We arrive at the tower door, and another warder unlocks it before we all ascend the stairs. I don’t want to follow, but I’m terrified of what Atlas will do to Tyr without my intervention.
Atlas strides over to his brother, who lies on his stomach, and grabs him by a fistful of hair, dragging Tyr to his knees. My heart clenches at the confusion in his expression.
“Order them to tell me where Lor is hiding,” he says. “Directly. And then tell them they’re to retrieve her immediately.”
Tyr’s gaze flicks between Atlas and me. He hasn’t said a word in weeks.
“Atlas,” I say. “He stopped speaking. You know that.”
Atlas shakes his head.
“Oh no, you fucking don’t, big brother.”
Before I have a chance to react, Atlas is on me. He circles an arm around my chest and holds a dagger to my neck. The other warders cry out in anger, but Atlas hisses, “If any of you come near me, I’ll kill him.” He presses the blade to my skin—it’s so sharp that I feel a warm trickle of blood seep down the line of my throat.
Then he glares at Tyr. “If you do not give the order, I will spill his blood all over your fucking bed and force you to sleep in it. Do you understand me?”
Atlas’s voice has risen to a fever pitch, taking on a frantic edge. I sense his control slipping away. I try not to struggle, genuinely worried Atlas might nick an artery.
He presses the blade in harder, and I feel another trickle of blood ooze down my neck. Everyone in the room leans forward as Atlas backs us into the corner.
“I mean it,” he says. “Tyr!”
Tyr holds out his hands and levers himself off the bed, making slow, deliberate movements. I watch him, my heart breaking in two. He’s been a shell of a man for so very long, but watching him like this, so frail and broken, while we all stand in this room with a fake king who’s losing his mind grinds a piece of me down forever.
“Don’t!” I try to gasp, but Atlas grips me harder, cutting off my air.
If Tyr gives the order and I’m forced to reveal Lor, then Tyr’s life will be forfeit. If I’d known this was the potential outcome, I would have told her to run and hide forever.
“Shut up,” Atlas snarls. “I should have done this a long time ago.”
He points the blade at his brother. “Say it! None of your bullshit, Tyr. Say it.”
Tyr opens his mouth, and I try to object again, but it’s no use.
“You will tell them where the girl is,” Tyr says, his voice soft but steady. “And you will find her and bring her here.”
The words fall over the room, landing on each of us like a noose coated in acid.
Finally, Atlas lets me go, shoving me so hard I stumble and trip, landing on the hard stone. Several warders go to help me, but Atlas stops them.
“No,” he says, and they freeze into stillness. “Leave him to squirm on the floor like the worm he is.”
Atlas approaches and crouches down on his haunches. “Where is she, Gabriel?”
The pressure of my tether cinches around my heart, forcing me to give an answer.
“In Aphelion,” I say, and every single person in the room reacts.
“Where in Aphelion?” Atlas asks with a feverish light of triumph in his eyes.
“In the Eighth,” I say. “Staying in the house of some High Fae.”
He furrows his brows and cocks his head. “Who is she with?”
Fuck. I was really hoping he wouldn’t ask that.
“With her brother and sister,” I say, praying he’ll leave it at that. Keeping Nadir’s presence a secret feels like giving them a chance.
“She got them out of Nostraza?” he asks.
Lor said Nadir helped liberate her family, but I don’t technically know who got them out, so I nod, hoping that’s close enough to the truth. But pain wrenches against my ribs, causing me to gasp.
“Who else is with her?” Atlas says, picking up on my discomfort.
“The Aurora Prince,” I choke out, and that answer definitely confuses Atlas. Thankfully he doesn’t ask me why, but then I recall my conversation with Nadir in the café.
If he’s in a relationship with Lor and Atlas thinks he’s going to take her, then this will turn into a bloodbath before this is over. The Aurora Prince doesn’t take kindly to anyone interfering with what’s his. Will it be enough to protect her, though?
Atlas leans in, baring his teeth. “You’re going to go and retrieve her right now. All of you. Is that understood? If you have to kill the others, then do so. I don’t care.”
My shoulders sag. I have no choice anymore. Even if I resist, the others can’t. Even if they could, they don’t understand what’s at stake.
“I don’t know why you’ve been lying to me, Gabriel,” Atlas says as I struggle to my feet. “But understand there will be consequences for this.” I nod as our gazes meet. I know what those consequences will be. What they’ve always been.
“Go,” Atlas orders, and then we file out of the room. I look back, hating the idea of leaving Tyr alone with Atlas, but for now, the true king is safe. If we return with Lor, then I don’t know what happens next.
When we emerge at the base of the tower, the warders turn to me. They won’t begrudge me for my lies. They won’t judge me. They understand enough to know why I had to do it. They, too, find ways to work around their leashes. I’m just not sure any of them has ever had this much to lose.
I pass through the line of them, saying nothing as I march through the palace before we spill into the crowded streets.
My brothers march behind me silently, passing a line of wagons carting in supplies for the ceremony. We’ve probably scraped half the countryside clean of food and alcohol and everything else needed to pull off this sham of a bonding.
There are people in every direction we walk, celebrating and drinking without a care in the world. I want to scream at their obliviousness.
The noise swells around us as we walk, ten silent specters passing through the boisterous crowd. Some people stop to gawk, but most are too drunk or having too much fun to care that we travel in their midst.
My jaw clenches tightly as we wind our way to the Eighth District. When I catch sight of the house where Lor and the others are staying, I come to a halt. The other warders stop next to me, casting uneasy glances my way.
With my lies exposed, pain has released from my body, and I am once again free. Sort of.
“Let’s go,” I say. There’s no point in lingering here any longer. It’s time to do this.
“There,” I say, pointing in the distance. “She’s in there.”
They nod, and we approach, surrounding the house. I’m not sure if the ten of us can fight off Nadir, Amya, and Mael together, but I’m hoping it won’t come to that.
When did I get so fucking optimistic?
I stand at the front door and take a deep breath before I kick it down. We file into the house, and I enter the living room, then grind to a halt.
It’s empty.
Not because there’s no one here, but because literally everything is gone. The furniture, the rugs, the art on the walls. The only things left are the curtains hanging on the windows.
The rest of the warders file in, casting dubious looks my way, and I’m not sure what they’re thinking. Am I still lying? Do they care?
“This was where I found her,” I say, feeling the need to explain something.
“It looks like they left,” Jareth says.
“Spread out and search the whole house,” another warder says, and they all stir into action.
I’m… relieved. I can breathe again, but where did she go? Is she still in Aphelion? Did they do what they needed to do? How will Atlas react when I return and tell him she’s gone? He won’t stop. His actions today told me that even if this is a setback, he will never stop. He’s waited almost a hundred years, and he wants to be a king, free and clear of the shadow close to consuming us all.
I listen to the thump of footsteps over my head as the others search through every room, and then I know what I must do. It’s what I should have done years ago, but some hopeful part of me always thought maybe there would be another way.
But Atlas showed me there isn’t. Atlas has only ever had one goal, and now he’s closer to achieving it than ever. Even if he doesn’t have Lor now, he’s going to see this plan through one way or another.
I let out a sharp huff and then spin on my heel, storming out of the house and making my way through the streets with only one destination in mind.
This ends now. I’m done with his lies.
Finally. It’s time for a fucking reckoning.