Chapter Fifty-Three
The sway of movement rouses me from unconsciousness. The first indication that something is wrong is the pinch in my shoulders. My hands are tied behind my back, and I’m lying in a way that sends pain radiating down my side.
I blink in rapid succession, trying to dislodge the cobwebs muffling my thoughts.
Where was I? Was that all a dream? Did I really speak with the gods of Ouranos?
Another lurch drags me back to the present. I’m lying in a cart. The sky is blue, and the rain has stopped. Where are we? How long have I been out? Does anyone realize we’re missing?
I wonder what’s happening in Aphelion. How are Willow and Tristan? What happened with Gabriel and the king? Where is Nadir?
I can’t let all of these questions derail my focus right now. I have to get out of here. Then I can sort through the events of that strange encounter in the Evanescence, though I can’t be sure any of it was real.
Slowly, I peel my eyes open to slits, hoping no one notices I’m awake. Soldiers march beside me on horses, the top halves of their bodies visible over the edge.
I’m surrounded on all sides by the Aurora King’s guard.
Is Nadir also tied up or riding next to his father as they cart me back to The Aurora yet again? Rion’s words ring through my head.
Thank you so much for telling me where I’d find her.
More words come back to me with the damning clarity of a silver bell.
That way lies only heartbreak.
I twist my hands, but my bindings hold tight—they’re made of a cold, hard material that chafes against my skin. A surge of magic shoots through my limbs, calling up a sigh of relief, though I know I will forever live in terror of having my magic locked away again.
I wish I could gauge how many people surround us. How far does this line go? If I use my magic on those in my immediate perimeter, will I be met with more soldiers? Where is Rion? Is he traveling close to me or far away?
None of this really matters. All I know is I have to try. I can’t let them take me up the road we’re traveling. Only bloodshed waits for me at the end.
I pray no one is looking too closely as I focus on the spark inside my chest, preparing to blast out my power. It already feels like an old friend. Will the restraints prevent me from accessing it? I have no idea how to do this without using my hands.
I squeeze my eyes shut, sure that I have only one chance.
I cannot let Rion take me back to The Aurora.
My magic stirs inside me like a pot of boiling water. I feel it fizzing against my skin, the sensation so different from what I’m used to. It’s alive and electric and bubbling under the surface. Bright, loud sparks that sing and hum. I don’t have to try anymore.
Why did Rion leave me like this? Does he still think me harmless? He had to have seen what I did in the throne room.
“Hey!” comes a voice, and something hard pokes me in the back. “Shut up, bitch! Alert His Majesty! She’s awake!”
I don’t think. I just react.
Magic erupts from my hands, blowing apart my bindings as it pours out of me. I can’t control it. I don’t try to. I want them all to bleed. As it courses through me, I remember how I felt in the throne room, invincible and capable of tearing apart the sky.
It surges and pulses, destroying everything around me. I struggle to stand and then stop, curling my magic back into my hands, surveying the spoils of my victory. That same dome of lightning I used on the Aurora King in the Heart Castle surrounds us, only now it’s at least ten times larger. And this time, I didn’t just cage them—this time I destroyed them.
The air crackles with static, and my hair floats off my face from currents of sparking electricity. Bodies surround me. Soldiers in uniform. These bastards who thought they’d keep me caged. I taste blood and cold satisfaction, doused in the pitch-black fantasies of my revenge.
At my feet lie the pieces of a glowing blue material I presume were the tethers binding my arms. I pick one up, studying it, recalling that Tyr wore the same thing around his wrists and throat.
But I toss it away when I spy a familiar body lying in the charred grass. The outlines of his achingly beautiful profile unmistakable across the distance. I’d know that face from a million miles and buried in a thousand layers of brick and stone.
I’m already moving. I jump down from the cart and sprint, skidding to my knees in the dirt.
“Nadir!” I scream, grabbing him by the shoulders, pressing my ear to his chest, registering only the faintest heartbeat.
Gods, what have I done? There’s no wound that I can see. No blood. Nothing that I can heal.
I shake him by the shoulders. His hands are bound behind his back with cuffs made of the same glowing blue stone, forcing him to lie at an awkward angle.
“Nadir, wake up!” I scream, tears slipping off the tip of my nose. “Wake up!”
He doesn’t move. He doesn’t speak. If I press my cheek to his mouth, he barely breathes.
What have I done?
I scan the clearing, noting heaps of bodies, all of them seemingly unharmed but for the fact that none is moving.
I did this.
Is the king among them? I can’t worry about that. I have to get Nadir out of here and to safety. I have to fix this.
He didn’t betray me. He wouldn’t. The king was lying. Attempting to drive a wedge between us. Trying to destroy any slice of happiness his only son tried to carve out for himself. I believe that. I know in my heart of hearts that Nadir didn’t sell me out.
Even if he had, I wouldn’t let him die. Even if he was forced to betray me because he had no other choice to save his mother or his sister, I wouldn’t let him die. If all we had together were these moments, then I’ll be content to let that be enough. This changes nothing about my feelings for him. There have never been any easy choices for us.
I’ve always known I was never destined for a happily ever after.
Heartbreak. Ruin.
I stand up and hook my hands under his armpits and heave. I expect him to be too heavy to move, but with some effort, I manage to shift him several feet. That’s when I realize I’m also in my Fae form. Whatever happened in the throne room must have unlocked that too. Finally, I catch a break.
I lurch again, relieved to discover I’m capable of moving his heavy body, though it’s not without some effort. The dome that surrounds us is massive, and it takes me several minutes to drag him across the clearing.
Every few steps, I stop to take a break, dropping my ear to his chest and checking for his heartbeat. It continues pulsing, but it’s faint, and I try to convince myself it isn’t growing weaker.
When we reach the wall of the dome, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to remove it, even if I knew how, since it will contain Rion and his guards, giving us a chance to escape.
I reach out and touch it, and my hand passes through unharmed. Interesting. It makes sense my own magic wouldn’t hurt me, but I surely can’t say the same for Nadir.
I wonder if I can make a door or an opening, but I don’t know how to do that, and I’m running out of time. I touch the lightning again, trying to do something with it, but it remains in the same state, flickering and crackling.
I’m acutely aware of how long this is taking. Someone is going to wake up soon.
What if I just cover his body with mine?
This is, no doubt, the worst plan anyone has ever conceived, but it’s all I’ve got.
Dropping to my knees, I roll Nadir to the edge of the dome before I shield as much of him as I can and then maneuver us through, rolling him under me. It’s awkward and hard, and when I catch the scent of burning flesh, I have no choice but to press on.
When we finally reach the other side, I tumble off him and onto the grass, panting with the effort. After a moment, I note that I allowed his feet to touch the lightning where my shorter frame left them exposed. There are singes all over his clothing, but the worst of it is confined below his knees, where his boots and the fabric of his pants have melted away, leaving behind angry red patches of skin.
Once again, I listen for his heartbeat, the sound so faint that my vision turns black. I must keep moving, one foot in front of the other. I can’t think about it. I need to find us somewhere to hide out of sight.
I drag him off the road and into the trees, wincing because if he were awake, this would probably hurt like hell.
“Nadir,” I sob. “Wake up. Wake up.”
I continue dragging him further and further until we’re deep in the forest. I wonder how long the dome of my magic will remain in place. Rion escaped last time, and I have to believe he can do it again.
Finally, I spy a small outcropping of rock to hide us from view. Sweat runs into my eyes, and my heart thrashes against my ribs. I lean over Nadir, once again searching for his heartbeat and his breath as wild panic swirls in my gut.
“Nadir,” I whisper. “Wake up.”
With my hands pressed to his chest, I let out a tendril of my healing magic, forcing my lightning to the side with no small amount of effort. It winds out in a blood-red satin ribbon, curling around his heart as I concentrate on trying to feed magic into it, hoping it will wake him up.
I whisper his name over and over as tears slide off my chin, landing on my hands and soaking his chest. “Nadir. Please. I love you.”
My ribbon wraps around his heart, and I try to fill it with as much love as I can. With everything I feel for him. With everything I have to give him. With every smile and wish and moment we’ve shared together. With everything I want for our future.
The beat slows, shuddering to a sluggish pace.
Thump.
Thump.
thump.
thu…
My magic slides against a dense knot of tissue and blood, then… I feel his heart stop.
…
Silence, horrible unbearable infinite silence, shatters in my ears.
The ribbon falls away, and I imagine it, suspended in the slow death of time, twirling to the floor, limp and lifeless as it collapses into a weightless curl.
My ribcage cracks, my heart imploding and leaking out on a crimson flood of all my mistakes.
I collapse on top of Nadir, pressing my cheek to his chest, my hands fisting in his shirt, as the forest echoes with the agony of my broken, never-ending scream.